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"Dale and I are dating."

5 words.

5 single words that had my head spinning and me feeling faint.

Dale and I are dating.

They couldn't be, Miles wasn't gay, he loved Maddi.

Dale and I are dating.

I stare at them in shock, not knowing what to say.

Dale and I are dating.

"Um, I think I'm going to go and find anywhere else to be," Dale says awkwardly, standing up and disappearing quickly into the darkness.

I don't move, not only was I speechless but I was also immobile.

Dale and I are dating.

"Come and sit little E," Miles says gently, patting the spot beside him that Dale occupied just a few short seconds ago.

My feet move before my mind catches up and suddenly I'm sitting beside Miles, staring at him as he stares at the pond.

Dale and I are dating.

My brain still spins erratically and I still cannot find my voice.

What did he mean that he and Dale were dating? I must have heard wrong.

I don't speak, I wasn't sure what to say.

Dale and I are dating.

If Miles was gay then does that mean that everything he had with Maddi was nothing but a lie, a story?

Maddi was such a good person that I wouldn't be surprised if she knew and played along for Miles's sake, but I knew that she loved him and I thought that he loved her too.

"Maddi and I were soulmates, she was the light of my life and everything good and pure in this world, I never thought I could love someone again after she passed," Miles begins softly, his eyes filling up with unshed tears and his voice breaking.

"And you found that with Dale?" I whisper, not even realizing that I had found my voice again.

Miles looks at me as a single tear falls down his face, he nods; "I know what you're thinking and I'm not gay, what Maddi and I had was so real and so pure but when she died a part of me died with her. I could never look at another girl the way that I looked at Maddi, all they did was remind me of her and maybe that's why I started feeling that way towards guys. Maddi was everything for me and when she died I had nothing left but I don't want to die alone Em, and no girl will ever compare to Maddi. No girl will look like her, no girl will laugh like her, no girl will smile like her, no girl's eyes will sparkle like hers, no girl will look at me the way she did, no girl will ever be her, no girl will ever even compare to her. I will never be able to love someone the way I loved Maddi and I know that, I'm so fucking aware of it every time I look at someone else and it fucking sucks but I really don't want to be alone, I'm done being lonely. If no girl will ever be good enough for me after Maddi died, then maybe a guy can be half as good as she was. Dale knows that a part of me will never love him and he's okay with that, he understands that all of me belonged to Maddi and while some of me died when she did, maybe I can give him other parts of me, I think the word is bisexual but I wasn't always. That came when I realized that if I didn't do something, I would die alone. I want you to know Em, I never looked at anyone else, guy or girl, when I was with Maddi, I wasn't even bi back then."

I stare at Miles as tears fall freely from my eyes, it gave me a sort of twisted comfort knowing that Miles had never liked guys until after Maddi died, that he was so devoted to her and none of it was a lie. My heart broke for him, no one deserved to die alone and I believed Miles when he said that no girl could or would ever compare to my sister.

"I know how hard it must be for you to hear this little E and that's one of the reasons Dale and I kept whatever this is to ourselves but Dale makes me feel things that I haven't felt since Maddi died. I was in love with her for my whole life Em and I think I will always be but that doesn't mean that I can't love other people as well, it doesn't mean that I love Maddi any less, it just means that maybe it's time that I allow myself to love other people too. I know that I don't deserve it and that I probably do deserve to die alone, especially considering that I'll never be able to love Dale as much as I loved Maddi but I don't want to Em." Tears fall freely down Miles's face, matching the ones steaming down mine.

Seeing him cry ripped apart my heart and I hated how little he felt of himself. Miles was such a good guy and he did deserve to love someone and be loved in return and I hated how it once gave me comfort knowing that Miles would never move on like I wouldn't, but that was so selfish of me because Miles deserved the world and so did Dale, they deserved each other. I knew that Miles would never love Dale as deeply as he did Maddi but Dale was okay with that and that just proved how good of a guy my best friend was.

I scoot closer to Miles, leaning my head on his shoulder. I didn't need to say anything for him to know that it was okay, I was okay with this and I guess I even encouraged it.

Miles lays his head on top of mine and we just sit there, cuddled together in the dark with the only light being the moon shining upon us.

It gave me some time to think about what Luke said a while ago, it felt like it was ages ago but in reality, it was just a few short weeks ago. He said that even though he loved Charlie, he would also always love me and I didn't understand it back then. I mean, how can someone love more than one person at once!? But I think I understood now, everyone will have that one person, perhaps your first love, that will always hold a special place in your heart, that doesn't mean that there isn't enough space for someone else though, you can be fully devoted to someone but still love someone else, you can't control who you love, it's what you do about that makes the difference.

Maybe the person that I would always feel something for was Aiden, I'll admit that I still love Justin and I do care for him but I was in love with Aiden, everything about Aiden consumed me, he made me feel. When this was all said and done, when I had fallen in love with someone else maybe it would be Aiden that also had a piece of my heart.

We had just arrived at the party, everyone had come with me but Toby, that was because Toby and I were still pissed at each other. I'm his best friend, why did he have to stick up for Em?! I know why, because like everyone else, he loved her. I wish I could be pissed at that but that would make me a hypocrite because even though it was a different love than Toby did, I loved her too. Still. Even after everything I had done to get over her these past few weeks.

We walk into the party, I'm used to everyone's head-turning as we enter so that's not what bothers me, what bothers me is Em and Justin standing together on the steps looking like the perfect fucking couple. I stare at her, trying to read how she was feeling but it's no use, I don't know why the fuck I found it so hard to read Em's emotions.

I watch her as her eyes move to face Katherine and for some reason, it pisses me off, she probably thought that I had just fucked Katherine as well which would mean that she was right in calling me a player that would never change. Rolling my eyes at her, I walk away.

I sit down with a bunch of loser footballers, I fucking hated jocks but my friends all seemed to take Em's side over mine so if I didn't want to be around her, that meant I couldn't hang around my gang anyways. I didn't really feel like sitting there silently as Toby glared at me the whole time either, why the fuck did she have to make everything so complicated!?

I go to walk away again to get some peace and quiet but what I see makes me want to punch someone in the face. Hard. James and Em were walking together, talking happily about fuck knows what as she sipped at the red cup. Guys eyes followed her every move hungrily and I hated how fucking attractive she was. I roll my eyes at them, what, so Justin wasn't enough then?

A presence above me takes my concentration away from the scene ahead of me, a brunette chick stood there with an attempt at a seductive smile. I couldn't deny that she was hot and for some reason, lately I had preferred brunettes over blondes. Who am I kidding, I knew exactly why. Emily.

I smirk at her, a distraction was just what I needed.

Suddenly I'm in a room with her, making out with her and trying to forget. She takes off her shirt and I try to look impressed but to be honest, I couldn't stop thinking about Em. This girl was hot but she had nothing on Em who was the most beautiful girl I had ever laid my eyes on.

I take my shirt off too, maybe if I pictured Em then I could actually do this. Before I get to try out my theory, the door to the room I had walked in opens, and Em's stunning face comes into view.

I get eye contact with her and she seems sad, guilt instantly floods through my stomach and I want to take everything back. I loved her.

She shuts the door quickly and walks away, leaving me alone in the room with this girl once again.

The girl tries to connect our lips again but I push her away.

"What?" She questions in surprise.

"I'm not having sex you with you, you should leave," I say, grabbing my shirt and pulling it over myself.

"What!? You were the one who wanted to take this to the bedroom!!" The girl replies in frustration, I didn't really blame her but I just wanted her to fuck off.

"Yeah and now I don't," I reply simply, grabbing my jacket and leaving the room. I sit on the steps with my head in my hands, I ignore the girl as she walks past me to get back to the party. I just wanted to be alone, it's not like I had much of a choice anyway. Em was fuck knows where and Toby still hated me, I didn't really want to talk to anyone else anyway.

I sigh, why was it that everything I did just made me want her more when I aimed for it to do the opposite. It seemed like she would never leave my mind, she was stuck there forever. I fucking despised love.

I feel a presence sit beside me after I don't how long and I instantly look up, expecting it to be another girl. I was ready to tell them to fuck off but when I see Toby instead, I stare at him questionably.

"I'm sorry man," Toby says after a minute of me staring at him cluelessly. Why the fuck was he apologizing!?

"Why?" Is my genius response.

"You're my best friend and I shouldn't have hit you, I should have spoken to you instead."

"I deserved to be hit, I've been nothing but a dick to you all week, but that's nothing compared to how I've treated Em." I reply.

"You have kind of been a major asshole the last couple of weeks but I don't blame you, you were just hurt after what she said to you," Toby replies.

"Maybe, but that doesn't give me an excuse to treat the people I love most in the world like shit," I reply quietly.

"You're right, it doesn't but I should have supported you and spoken to you instead of hit you. I think we've both fucked up these past weeks so can we just move on? I've missed you so much man," Toby suggests.

"Fuck yes, what's the bad boy without his freak of a best mate?" I smirk back, replying.

Toby grins, "pretty fucking depressed apparently."

I laugh at him, he was right. "I am sorry bro."

"I know, so am I, just promise me you'll stop being a dick and sleeping with everything that has boobs, well boobs and the same color hair as Mills does." Toby grins, winking.

"Fuck off man," is my immediate reply, how the hell did he notice!?

"What are you going to do about her anyway?" Toby questions.

"Fuck knows, keep trying I guess," I reply cluelessly, what I said was true, I had no fucking idea what I would do about her.

"That's my man," Toby grins, slapping me on the shoulder.

I go to reply but a noise interups my train of thought. Toby and I both look up to the noise and when I see what it was that made it, I don't know whether I want to cry like a fucking girl or kill someone.

The noise was the sound of a door opening and it was Em and Justin that exited, holding hands. Em's hair was a little messier, both their lips were swollen and Justin had the all to familiar 'I just fucked' crinkles in his perfect fucking shirt.

It was way too fucking obvious what had just happened and I found myself feeling a contrast of emotions I had never experienced before, on one hand I was so fucking hurt but on the other, I don't think I had ever been as angry as I was right now. I can't believe that Emily just fucked Justin. I thought she was better than that.

"Mills?" Toby questions, shock lacing his words.

Emily turns away quickly and walks to the other stairs, I say walk but her speed was more like a run.

"Emily!!" I yell angrily, I wasn't sure what I was going to say to her but I knew that whatever it ended up being, I would fucking say it.

"Aiden!!" Toby yells behind me, chasing after me whilst I chased after Emily.

I watch as Em tugs on Justin's arm and starts jogging to the courtyard. I follow as more hurt pools at the bottom of my stomach and Toby follows me. I knew that the courtyard was packed and I also knew that having this conversation here would be the last thing that Emily wanted, but I can't find it within myself to care right now.

"Stop fucking ignoring me Emily!!" I yell angrily, stopping on one side of the courtyard as she was somewhere in the middle, her hand still intertwined with Justin's. Everything goes silent and I try to tell myself to stop but once again, it doesn't work.

Emily turns around to face me and I find myself glaring at hers and Justin's intertwined hands. She quickly lets go of his hands and not even that calms me down, I was so fucking angry, but most of all, I was hurt.

Em stares at me speechlessly and I stare back, I wait for her to talk but unsurprisingly she doesn't. I chuckle darkly after a moment and shake my head, "you know Emily, there are a lot of things that you are, but I never knew that you were easy."

I hear a few gasps but I ignore them. I knew subconsciously that I had no fucking right at all to be suggesting what I was when I was the one who had slept with countless girls in the past few weeks, maybe I assumed that it was expected of me to fuck up, but she was perfect, she didn't fuck up, she was better than me and therefore, I didn't expect her to sleep around.

I watch as she realizes what I was suggesting, I see her anger rise to levels I had never seen from her before, and then suddenly, she explodes, "you have got to be fucking kidding me. You're implying that I'M the whore. I have slept with 1 person in my life and you know, maybe we did just have sex again after almost a year of being apart but that does not make me a whore. A whore is someone who fucks everyone and if one of is a whore, it's not me."

I stare at her for a moment, she was right of course, she had only had sex with 1 person whilst I had slept with thousands but that didn't tame my soaring anger, the words fall from my mouth without even thinking about them; "I never claimed that I was anything else, you're the one who's been giving me mixed signals, making me fall in love with you and then changing your fucking mind, then you go and sleep with your ex!! That's a new low Emily."

I freeze subconsciously, did I just admit what I think I did? In front of all these people? In front of Katherine and Justin and all our friends? What had I done?

I don't know what I expect, but her anger only getting worse was definitely not it, I wasn't sure if it was a blessing or a curse that she hadn't registered what I said but for some reason, it still fucking hurts. She strides closer to me, her anger seeming to get worse with every step until suddenly she's right in front of me, I could reach out and touch her if I wanted, and fuck knows I wanted to, but I don't.

"I'm the one giving mixed signals?! ME?! You're a fucking prick Aiden, you're the one who slept with your ex after you kissed me, after you promised me that this, you and I, was different, actually meaningful. I trusted you, you told me I could trust you, and then the next day you went and slept with your ex instead of meeting up with me like we had planned." Her anger seems to turn into desperation as tears fall freely from her eyes, I actually preferred her to yell at me than this, it actually physically hurt my heart to see her like this and know that not only was it because of me, but that I couldn't make it better for her.

I stay quiet for a few seconds as guilt floods through me, she was right of course, "It is different, I mean, was different. Katherine and I didn't even -" I begin but I get cut off.

"Didn't what Aiden? Sleep with her? I saw you!!" Emily yells, the anger returning.

"No-" I try to explain but I'm once again cut off.

"Are really going to stand there and deny what I saw? Are you really trying to tell me that you and Katherine haven't slept together while she's been back?" Em yells, tears falling down her face but you didn't have to be a genius to know they were angry tears.

"You didn't see-" I continue trying to explain. The day that she was talking about, Katherine and I didn't sleep together, I stopped it before we did knowing that Em was waiting for me and that Katherine was no longer what I wanted.

"I didn't see you guys fucking? Answer the question, are you seriously telling me that you and Katherine haven't slept together since she's been back?" Em responds, the anger seeming to multiply.

I don't reply, I look around, finding the floor very interesting. Whilst Em was wrong in thinking I had slept with the Katherine the day that I was meant to meet up with Em, I had still slept with Katherine a few days later, at that point Em had broken up with me even though we weren't dating, it wasn't such a betrayal because we had already broken up but it was still a betrayal that I wish I could take back.

Em chuckles darkly; "Exactly. Don't try to lie to me next time. I know what I saw."

"Emily, you're not fucking listening to me!!" I yell, the frustration obvious.

"Why would I listen to you? You fucked me over big time and you're still trying to now!! I've heard enough bullshit from you, I'm so done with you. You're nothing but a player who tried to use me and then when it didn't work, your ego was bruised so you kept trying!! I hate you, I hate who you are, I hate what you stand for, I hate how you make me feel, I hate you!! Just leave me alone!!" Em yells, tears falling down her face as the emotions finally give in. No one speaks as Em takes a few steps back, turns on her heel and then walks into the darkness. Justin watches her disappear and I can see the battle in his head on whether or not to follow her, he doesn't.

I watch her disappear, not knowing what I could do. Everyone stares at her and then when she's out of sight, everyone stares at me and I instantly feel guilty for making a scene in front of so many eyes.