"So, I heard that you're going on a date tonight?" I hear a familiar voice whisper in my ears. I jump on instinct, the suddenness scaring me before I turn around to glare at the bad boy that I had fallen for. Luke and Charlie suddenly find something else to do, leaving Aiden and I alone.

"Aiden!!" I scold, he grins at me in response but for some reason, it seems forced, "how did you hear about it?"

Aiden grins at me; "I know everything Collins."

I force a laugh but my heart sinks, he seemed to care so little about this date. Did I really mean that little to him? Did he really stop caring so quickly. Did he ever care at all?

"So, where you going?" He asks curiously.

"I'm not sure," I admit.

"Do you even like the moron? Why the fuck are you going out with him anyways?" Aiden asks casually and I almost hit him. I was going out with him because the actual guy I was in love used me.

"Because Aiden," I begin, frustration surfacing enough that I can't hide it, suddenly I feel very bold, "it's obvious now that all you and I are ever going to be is friends because like I said, you'll never change so maybe I can go on a date with an actual nice guy for once who's actually interested in me and not just horny." With that I storm away to my first class, leaving Aiden staring at me open-mouthed and in shock.

As much as seeing him with other girls hurt me, the best way for me to get over him was to date. I was in love with him and didn't want to be used again. He and Katherine would end up together, happily married because they belonged together, maybe Ryan and I belonged together as well.

Sighing to myself, I walk into our biology class and wait for Aiden to walk in, but unsurprisingly, he never does.

***

It was almost home time which meant that Charlie and I would be on our dates soon but I hadn't seen Aiden at all since this morning. The rest of the guys were at lunch but Aiden wasn't with them, I think the boys were just as clueless to his whereabouts as I was.

Nervousness sits in my stomach at the inevitable date ahead and I wish more than anything that I could say I was actually looking forward to it. The bell rings and the nervousness just intensifies. Ryan had asked me what class I had last so he could meet me there after school but I had convinced him to just meet me at his car, I needed that extra 5 minutes to prepare myself.

"Em have you been listening to me at all?!" Jordan pouts. We had just finished with English but Aiden never turned up, Jordan questioned me about it originally but eventually gave up after he realized I had no clue, he had resorted to telling me more stories about his best friend Lindsay who was another one of Aiden's old 'flings.'

"Sorry Jordan, I'm just distracted," I apologize.

"Because Aiden has disappeared?" Jordan questions.

"Yeah, I just said something to him this morning that I regret," I admit.

"Does it have something to do with your date now with Ryan?" Jordan questions after a hesitant moment.

"You know about it to?" I groan.

"Em, sweetie, everyone knows about it," Jordan replies. He and I had been standing outside of the classroom and talking but I wasn't so sure I wasn't just trying to prolong the date that would begin as soon as I got to his car.

I groan again and go to say something but instead see something that makes my heart drop. Jordan groans beside me as well, he had obviously seen the same thing; Aiden and Lindsay walking out of an empty classroom with messy hair, swollen lips, and buttons that were still undone. Both Aiden and Lindsay fumble with their buttons as they exit the room.

Aiden's eyes look to mine and for a split second he looks guilty but his familiar smirk quickly replaces the guilt.

My heart literally breaks as I realize what had just happened, Aiden and Lindsay had just skipped the last period so they could fuck. Without thinking, I turn quickly and begin walking towards Ryan for the date, he did use me, I knew it.

I was just another fling for him but he was so much more to me, maybe what he said all those months ago was right, maybe he only did want to get in my pants. Maybe he thought he would get what he wanted at the cliffs that night but when I saw him and Katherine, he decided it wasn't worth it.

I get to Ryan quickly, as soon as he sees me he lights up and walks towards me, I try very hard to return his excitement but I'm sure it doesn't work.

"Are you alright Em?" Ryan questions, obviously sensing that I was in fact not okay.

"Um, I-" I try but before anything comes out a frantic voice interrupts me which is probably a good thing because I had no idea what I was about to say. My instant reaction is that it's Aiden or one of the boys but I'm shocked when I see Lindsay instead. Aiden didn't even care enough to follow me.

"I'm sorry you saw that Em, I thought you and Aiden weren't a thing anymore, and well...yeah, I never meant to hurt you," she rambles.

"We're not, it's seriously alright Lindsay," I attempt to convince.

"No it's not, I heard about your date with Ryan this afternoon at practise and thought that you were seriously over it, I'm so sorry Em, not only that you saw but also that I hurt you, I never meant to." Lindsay continues.

I wanted to be mad at Lindsay, I wanted to say she was a slut and a terrible person but I couldn't because none of that was true. I knew that she had her fair share of guys but I also knew her well enough to know that she was actually a genuinely good person. Even if she wasn't who she was, this wouldn't be her fault anyway, I know by her tone that she actually thought Aiden was available and she was right. He had obviously given her that impression, even if things between him and I were different, it would still be him at fault as she was just an innocent bystander, it was Aiden who was the one that shouldn't have been sleeping around.

"It's seriously okay Lindsay, we're just friends, there's nothing romantic between us," I begin, I feel eyes burn my back so I turn my head to look at Aiden who was staring at me with an unknown emotion etched on his face, the guys right beside him. I keep eye contact with him but finish talking to Lindsay; "nothing at all."

With that, I once again walk over to the car I knew was Ryan's and sit in the passenger seat, after a few seconds he regains himself and follows me, climbing into the driver's seat, and then we're off.

"Are you okay Em?" Ryan questions, he was such a genuine guy.

"Yeah," I reply, staring out the window and trying very hard to hold back my tears.

"Then can you please tell me what just happened? I'm lost," Ryan attempts to joke.

I smile at him, the tears subsiding as I allow myself to breathe properly again; "she and Aiden just hooked up and I saw them leave, Lindsay just wanted to apologize because she thought I was upset."

"Are you upset?" Ryan questions, looking at me from the side.

"No," is my immediate instinct. Lie. "I don't know why everyone thinks that he and I are a thing," I continue. Another lie.

"I'm glad, I'm really excited about this date, I think we'll really get along," Ryan smiles, genuinely happy. I push all of my thoughts out of my mind, I knew this would happen, the betrayal isn't as serious as it was when it was Katherine he was screwing because I knew it would happen this time, I actually expected it. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt though.

"I think so too," I smile. I knew what I was saying could very possibly be a lie but I also knew it was what he wanted to hear. By the size of Ryans' smile, I was right about him wanting to hear that.

"So where to?" I ask.

"Just the diner for now," Ryan smiles, "is that okay?"

Relief floods my body, I was just glad that he hadn't planned something very intimate and romantic.

"That's perfect!" I reply.

"I'm glad," Ryan grins. I smile at him as he pulls into the parking lot of a diner I had never seen before.

"I was going to take you to Valerie's but I thought that it might be awkward considering you're close with the owner and her family and I didn't want to risk seeing anyone we know," Ryan explains as he reverses his car into the parking spot.

His explanation makes a lot of sense and I actually find myself glad that he had thought that far ahead, it may have been awkward if Aiden and the guys showed up and Dale was my waiter.

"No this is absolutely perfect, thank you so much Ryan," I grin.

🎶🎵🎶

This had been the longest afternoon of my life, a few days ago I thought that there was a chance that today I would turn up to school with Em as my girlfriend but instead she's on a date with Ryan. Fucking Ryan.

She's already moved on? I know I fucked up with Katherine but it seems like she's already moved on, so I tried as well. She told me that day at her door that I was nothing but a player and that I would never change, and she was right. Being a fuck boy is who I am, Tiffany was right as well, a girl like that would never fall for someone like me. It was a fling, a tiny fling that she seemed to already be over.

Fucking Lily earlier helped me relax a little but knowing that Em was on a date had me on an edge that I didn't know if I had ever experienced before.

"For fuck sake man, if she wasn't back 10 seconds ago then she's not back now!!" Toby sighs.

"Fuck off Toby," I reply, looking out the window again.

"Bro, he's fucking obsessed," Blake whispers to Carter loud enough for the people in fucking China to hear. I turn to glare at him, he puts his hands up in surrender.

"Aiden, maybe we should go down to the basement, that way you will stop looking out the window every 10 seconds," Carter suggests.

"There's no window down there," I reply, "I won't be able to see her get back."

"You're the one who made out with Katherine and fucked everything up!! It's your own fault Aiden!!" Toby scolds. Carter and Blake look surprised but i'm glad when they choose not to say anything.

"You don't think I know that!?" I reply. Toby just shakes his head.

It had been a few hours since I watched Em and Ryan drive off at 3:00, it was now just past 6:00 and I was desperate for them to return, the longer she spent out with Ryan the more chance that she actually liked him and I hated the thought of that. I know that Ryan probably deserved her more than me but she was my girl, and I was so in love with her.

Did she love me back? Did she ever love me or was it truly just a fling?

I couldn't describe how much I wanted her to be mine, I can't let go of her, no matter how much I wanted to, and trust me, I really wanted to. I'm sick of feeling like this, feeling vulnerable and in love. I never thought I'd actually fall in love and when I got an amazing girl, I fucked it up and now I can't let go, I wanted to be with her, to fall asleep beside her like we had done so many times before, I wanted her.

"Alright I'm out, you coming Carter?" Blake groans finally.

Carter looks at me skeptically and I roll my eyes at him; "just go, I won't do anything stupid."

Carter nods at me and he and Blake walk towards the door, I hear it close and then silence.

"So what are you going to do then?" Toby questions.

I grin at him as an idea pops in my head, I hear Blake's car take off and I stand up, Toby looks at me expectantly; "don't you think it's a nice day to sit on the porch?"

"For real man? Are you a fucking stalker or what?" Toby groans.

"I just don't know what else to do Toby," I admit after a moment. Toby stares at me, searching my eyes for any trace of betrayal but obviously finds none because he sighs and stands up; "you really love her, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do," I reply back so quietly that I'm actually surprised that Toby hears.

Toby smiles at me and then walks out, I grab a 6 pack from the fridge and follow him. I sit on the side closest to Em's house whilst Toby sits on the other side of the table, I pass him a beer and we start drinking, both of us staring down the road.

Just under 20 minutes pass and still no sign of Em, it was now exactly 6:27 and I was starting to worry, I was already halfway through my second beer whilst Toby had just finished his first.

"Should I text her?" I ask Toby, looking at my phone, if she was in trouble then she would tell me right? We were still friends and she could still rely on me...right?

"Give it another 15 minutes, she's probably just having a good time," Toby replies.

My panic only doubles; "I'm texting her." Toby goes to object as I get out my phone but a car coming around the corner silences us both, I watch intently as Ryan pulls up to her house and walks around to open her door.

What a wimp.

Em gets out and smiles at him, the smile causes my heart to sink because I was used to getting that smile, I see her scan her surroundings and then see her beautiful blue eyes as they look at me and Toby, they crease in confusion and I fall harder, I think by now I had crashed through the ground and was going negative.

"Mills!!" Toby yells excitedly, she looks at him in confusion, Ryan mimicking her expression whilst I wonder what the fuck Toby was up to and why he got her attention.

"Hey Tobes," Em replies a lot softer but so we can both hear, she still looks utterly confused and so does Ryan who was standing beside her, I so badly wanted to remove him from her and take his place.

"Come over here!!" Toby grins, still yelling excitedly.

Em looks at Toby even more confused, her eyes crinkle even further, and her mouth parts slightly.

"Toby, what the fuck are you doing?" I ask quietly so he's the only one that can hear.

"Just trust me," he replies in the same tone as Em and Ryan approach us. I stare at her, she gets my eye but drops it almost instantly and looks away, a frown on her face.

"How was your date?" Toby asks, Ryan stares at Toby and I can tell that he's completely and utterly lost, the thought makes me a little happy.

"Um, good thanks?" Ryan replies questionably.

"Where did you guys go?" I find myself asking before I can stop, Em's eyes flash to mine quickly but I also feel Ryan's stare on me.

"Um, just to the other Diner on the other side of town?" Ryan replies in the same confused and questioning tone.

"What? Val's isn't sufficient for the football captain?" I bite back, I instantly regret my words when I see Em's disappointed face.

"No, I just thought that Em would feel more comfortable there," Ryan replies quickly, trying to reject my reference to it not being good enough.

"You guys should join us, have a beer," Toby grins.

"Um," Ryan replies awkwardly.

"That's okay Tobes, I think we'll head back to mine now," Em replies in the same awkward tone.

"Sure, we'll walk with you guys," Toby grins.

"We will?" I say the same time that Em says "you will?"

"Yeah!! Gotta watch out for my BFFL over here," Toby grins, punching Ryan on the shoulder in what would look to be a joking way but I could see Ryan flinch meaning he did it a lot harder than necessary.

"Um...okay?" Em replies. Toby and I stand up, Toby stands in between Em and Ryan whilst I walk behind them, trying very hard to hold in a laugh and not to tell Toby how much I fucking appreciated him.

We get to Em's and Ryan walks her to the door, Toby and I stand just a few feet away.

"Um...so I had fun tonight," Ryan says, awkwardly looking behind Em and at us, Toby waves at him sarcastically as Em wouldn't see but I stand still, once again refraining from laughing.

"Yeah me too..." Em trails off questionably.

"We should do it again sometime," Ryan smiles, still glancing at Toby and me.

"Yeah, for sure," Em replies.

I see Ryan look briefly at her lips and I instantly know that he was thinking of kissing her, before he begins to lean in, he glances at Toby and me, I raise my eyebrow at him threateningly and he instantly backs off, thank fuck for intimidation.

"I'm going to head home, I'll talk to you later?" Ryan finally decides upon. Good boy Ryan.

"I'll text you," Em smiles at him. He grins at her charmingly, nods, goes in for the hug, glances at Toby and me, and then decides not to hug her and then walks towards his car. Toby and I walk up to stand beside her as she waves at him when he leaves.

As soon as he's out of view she turns to look at us and crosses her arms; "what the fuck was that?!"

"I was protecting my BFFL," Toby shrugs, he doesnt wait for her response and walks through the door, greeting her family confidently and then heading to her room.

She looks at me like she's going to say something but groans instead and follows Toby up to her room after greeting her family, I trail behind her like the love sick idiot that I was.