She fell alseep on my shoulder, in front of everyone and now everyone knows she's mine.

Now all we had to do was make it official and we were going to do that at 2:00 today, just enough time for me to get everything ready. I was so excited for her to become my girlfriend. I liked her way too fucking much.

I wouldn't do anything to screw this up, she was literally the best part of me, she was my hope.

Obviously, I had told Toby about the kiss but no one else as I wanted people to find out when we were finally a couple. The fact that I was looking forward to being in a monogamous relationship astounded me but for her, I wanted nothing less. Just the thought of her touching another man forced jealousy to invade my every sense, and to be honest I couldn't think of any other girl like that now that Em was about to be mine. Of all the girls in the world, the most beautiful one was nearly my girlfriend.

I had just under an hour to prepare everything, what was I going to say? Would I ask her straight away to be mine or would I tell her how much she means to me? Toby had just left, I may have forced him to leave on the grounds that I had to prepare myself to finally make Em my girlfriend.

Well obviously he didn't know that's why I made him leave, he probably thought I was just being a dick. Fair enough, I guess.

The doorbell rings, breaking me out of my thoughts, fucking Toby. I sigh, walking to the front door so I could tell him to fuck off.

"Fucking hell Toby," I roll my eyes, not looking up to see him. I don't hear anything in return and immediately look up to face the intruder.

I get eye contact with her and freeze. It was Katherine, my Katherine.

"Hey A," she smiles and my heart beats quickly when I regain myself.

"Kit Kat?" I ask, shocked to see the girl I used to love standing on my doorstep, "what are you doing here?!" I question.

"You don't want me here?" She asks and the sad look on her face makes my heart ache.

"Of course I do!! I'm just surprised to see you, why didn't you text?" I ask, still shocked.

"I wanted to surprise you," she smiles and her beautiful blue eyes sparkle. She was still the Kit Kat that I knew, she had the same blonde hair that for some reason reminded me of honey. She was still just as beautiful as she had always been. My childhood best friend was actually here.

When I realize that she was actually here, I can't help but pull her into a tight hug. She laughs and the sound is melodic, hugging me back tightly.

"Can I come in?" Kit Kat smiles sweetly and my heart melts just a little.

"Please do," I smile at her, seeing her brought back so many memories of our childhood and I couldn't help the smile that sets itself on my face. I can't believe she was actually here.

We go to my room and sit on my bed. I forget about everything when I look into her familiar eyes that were somehow, so comforting.

"I really missed you A," she smiles softly at me.

"I missed you as well Kat, more than you know," I reply, the same smile on my face.

🎵🎶🎵

Before I can register anything, she leans forward, connecting her lips with mine. Her lips are so familiar and I can't help but kiss her back passionately. Was I forgetting something? Why am I thinking of anything else when my childhood loves lips were attached to mine?!

The kiss deepens quickly and suddenly I'm taking off my shirt.

Wait a minute.

My star tattoo was peaking through the waistband of my jeans.

The star.

My hope.

Emily.

I try to pull away from her but my body refuses to do as it's told. There was just something about the familiarity of Katherine's body against mine that was disallowing me from pulling away. I get taken back to being 13 and having sex for the first time with the girl I was in love with. The most beautiful girl in school was my girlfriend and at 13, she was everything to me, my body can't help but react. Maybe we could do this one more time, for 13 year old me that was in love with this beautiful girl.

Collins.

The date.

Her finding it hard to trust me.

Her maybe becoming my girlfriend.

I can't ruin that, I may have loved Katherine once but not anymore, this wasn't fair on anyone.

"Wait, there's someone else," I manage, this makes her stop instantly. I look at her and my heart breaks a little for her.

"What?" She asks, vulnerability lacing her soft question.

"There's a girl, she moved here just over 8 months ago," I admit softly.

Katherine looks broken. She slowly puts her shirt back on, covering her bra.

"And, you - you're serious about her?" Katherine asks, her tone, if possible, even more vulnerable.

"I'm so sorry Kit Kat, I really like her. I haven't felt this way since - well since you." I admit softly, hating the fact that I was hurting my childhood best friend and first love.

Katherine looks down at the ground and I can see her trying to hold back her tears. My heart breaks even further and I can't help but pull her into a hug.

"I'm sorry Aiden, I don't mean to interfere with anything. If you're happy, then I'm happy for you." Katherine says quietly, her soft voice breaking and vulnerable.

I don't say anything, I continue hugging her but my eyes are attracted to the clock.

1:50.

I look at the window and see her blinds closed, I was glad. I didn't want her to see anything and get the wrong idea, I really fucking liked her.

"Kit Kat?" I say gently, releasing her slightly.

"Yeah?" She responds softly.

"I have to go," I whisper.

"To meet up with that girl?" Kat asks softly.

I stay silent and this answers her question. She nods, tears once again filling her eyes. I let go of her to put on my shirt and get my jacket.

"A?" She questions softly, looking up at me through her wet eyelashes.

"Yeah?" I reply, in the same soft tone.

"Whoever this girl is, she's lucky to have you and would be stupid to not feel the same way," Kat smiles sadly and I smile back at her gently.

Em wasn't lucky to have me, I nearly just screwed up every chance I had with her

"I'm going to go to dads, we'll catch up soon," Kat says after a minute.

I look at her in surprise, "you're welcome to stay here until I get back, mom will be home soon."

"I haven't seen dad yet, I should really go but we'll catch up soon," Kat smiles softly, the tears still evident in her glassy blue eyes, the same look in them that broke my heart 4 years ago when she told me she was leaving for Australia.

I nod at her, agreeing. She smiles at me one last time before she walks out of my room and downstairs. I was glad she had decided to leave because that way I could focus solely on Em, the girl who would soon be my girlfriend.

Excitement bubbles through me as I remember what was about to happen. I check myself in the mirror and almost jog downstairs so Em and I could finally leave.

I wait by my car, it was going to rain soon and I didn't want Em to get wet.

When 2:00 finally hits, I look around. No Em yet, she was probably just finishing something up. I continue to wait.

2:05, she's still not here, do I text her or is that too desperate? I'll wait a little longer.

2:10, where is she? I'll just text her.

2:15, why hasn't she responded yet? I'll wait a little longer.

2:20, where is she?! Maybe she's alseep? I mean she was obviously tired enough to fall asleep on the bus so she must be exhausted. I'll just ring her quickly, that'll wake her up and we can go whenever she's ready.

I click on her contact and it rings a few times. Why the fuck isn't she answering? Is she okay? Just when I'm about to hang up to walk over there I hear movement from the other end.

"Collins?" I question.

A couple of seconds later a deep voice replies; "fuck off Aiden. She doesn't want to talk to you right now."

The line goes flat. What the fuck? Why did Dale just answer her phone?

I walk back inside, trying to figure out what happened. It was now 2:30 and a light rain had begun to fall.

I sit on the couch inside, what the fuck?

Did she change her mind about me? Why the sudden change?

I sit down on the couch trying to figure out what the fuck happened, it was 3:30 by the time I had gotten a text from mom saying that he had taken the twins to my grandparents for the weekend and I was welcome to go and meet them but I ignore it and storm into my room. The blind was still shut and anger and jealousy courses through me.

Maybe she figured out that Dale was better than me. But why would she do that?

I sit on my bed and stare at the blinds, trying my absolute hardest to retain my jealousy and figure out what happened.

It's now 5:00 and the rain was all but pouring, I thought that by now that she would officially be mine.

On the trip everything was fine? So what happened?

We get home and everything changes?

But the only thing that happened was Katherine.

Wait a minute.

Did she?

She couldn't have, her blinds were closed.

Unless?

Please please no.

She can't have seen. For fuck sake, please!!

FUCK!!

The realization hits me that she must have seen us, there is literally no explanation unless she saw.

Without thinking, I grab my stuff and sprint outside before ringing her doorbell. I had to make this right.

Somehow, Dale moves us from the doorway to my bed. I lay on his chest as he plays with my hair, no one dares to speak as we drown in our thoughts.

I hated myself, I was an idiot. Just another girl that fell in love with Aiden. I guess this all was a big scheme to get in my pants and to be honest, I was just glad that things ended before he got the chance.

I didn't need him, I had Dale and Charlie and Luke and Amy and my family and even James. I could live without Aiden, I had to.

I had never had my heart broken like this before. Obviously, when Maddi died, more than my heart broke. I thought Aiden may have been slowly putting my pieces back together but it was obvious now that he wasn't. Now all the parts he put back together had once again broken, plus another part, the part that only your first real love could break.

I had loved Justin at one point, but compared to Aiden, it felt like nothing. Loving Aiden consumed me, I guess that whats I get for sharing my biggest desire with him.

I remember telling him, we were lying together on my bed, it was the first time he had stayed the night and Luke had gotten drunk and professed his love for me. Aiden had asked me why I didn't love Luke, breaking the silence between us.

"Em, why don't you love Luke? He's perfect." Aiden breaks the silence, I glance at him but return my stare to the ceiling.

"I don't know, I guess everything is so reliable with him. He knows me so well but I'm too close to him, I've been through too much with him and if I'm ever going to fall in love then it's going to be with someone I can escape with." I reply breathlessly, I had never admitted that to anyone before.

"What do you mean? I mean I think I understand, but I'm not sure," Aiden looks at me curiously, something about the way he looked at me not only gave me butterflies but gave me the impression that he really did want to hear what I had to say. The thought made me internally smile.

"There's a quote from my favorite TV show character in The Vampire Diaries, its about a love triangle between a beautiful and kind girl and two brothers. In the beginning, she falls in love with the 'perfect' man and the 'good' brother, but in the end, she falls in love with the 'reckless' and 'bad' brother. Literally, the whole universe does everything in its power to keep the 2 of them together, fate even demands the girl and the 'perfect' brother end up together but she falls for the 'dangerous', and 'unreliable' brother anyway, the one that makes her feel more alive, even when she feels dead inside. I guess who allows her to forget her past," I continue, Aiden looks at me in wonder; "The dangerous brother says something to the girl way before they get together, he says; 'you want a love that consumes you, you want passion, and adventure and even a little danger,' And for some reason, that quote always resonated with me. It meant so much, and it meant even more after everything that happened" I finish, smiling at the mention of the quote that had always meant so much more to me than just a stupid TV show quote.

"So that's why you don't love Luke, you want someone who can make you feel things you've never felt before, someone who's a risk but at the end is worth every minute," Aiden says in realization.

I nod, "Luke is my best friend, I know him inside out, he's not a risk for me, he's completely safe and he doesn't mean to, but he makes me relive my past because of how much he was in it, and I don't want that. I want someone who I can talk to about my past and feel good but someone who doesn't allow my past to define me. I want someone who makes me feel, with Luke I feel like everything is numb but I crave adventure, and that's everything that Luke isn't." I had finally admitted.

I guess I had gotten part of it, I fell completely in love with Aiden, so much so that it consumed me, he was dangerous and mysterious and everything that I had ever wanted. The way he kissed me was so passionate and I had never experienced that degree of what I thought then was need.

I was wrong too though, I wanted to be loved in the same way. I craved it. For a short time, Aiden did allow me to forget my past and live again but I was Emily Collins and I should have expected it to come tumbling down, it was only a matter of time.

The tears had dried up a while ago but I still felt empty inside. I really loved him.

Dale hadn't left me and I was so glad. I was still wearing my outfit that I had planned to wear at the cliffs, I hated myself for dressing up for him. He didn't deserve it.

Dale and I stay in the same position for what feels like minutes but is really hours. I listen to the rainfall, softly at the start and then heavier and heavier until it seemed to match how I was feeling. At least the weather understood.

Mom had come up looking for me earlier but quickly left when she saw the state I was in and how Dale was comforting me. She had obviously told Robert and Eli not to bother me as well because it was very quiet downstairs and usually I would be able to hear my family laughing with each other. I was glad she had left me with Dale, it was him that I needed at this moment. Obviously, Nala had also climbed on my bed and was still cuddled into my back, obviously sensing that I was upset. I adored her for that.

I distantly hear the doorbell ring but make no move to get up as there were people downstairs who would open it. Mom had probably ordered food for dinner to try and cheer me up, I loved her for that.

I hear mom and the intruder talk before Eli's voice chimes in. No sooner, I hear footsteps approaching Dale and I.

My mother knocks gently before she enters my room and looks at me sadly.

"Emmy, baby, it's for you, I think you should come," my mother smiles softly. I don't ask her who it is, not having the energy. I stand up and clean my face, Dale nods, obviously telling me that it wasn't obvious I had been crying and together, we walk downstairs to where Eli's excited voice becomes more clear and another, tense sounding one replies.

I walk to the door, not being able to see the person yet as the door had swung open in a way that blocked my view until I was right behind Eli. Dale follows.

I finally approach Eli and look up at the door. As soon as my eyes meet with the familiar brown ones, I once again want to crawl up with Dale and cry.

Don't Em. You're stronger than this. You can do it, just confront him. He was in the wrong, not you. Be confident!!

I take a deep breath ready for the inevitable talk that I had expected would have taken place in a few days, not hours.

I know Dale and Eli are watching me and even though they try to hide it, I can feel mom and Roberts ears on us as well. They had obviously figured out that Aiden was the reason I had been upset. The thought of my family there to support me brings me strength.

I can do this.

"Collins?" Aiden asks desperately.