6 years ago,

I was so excited, mom and dad were taking me to the lake house with her family, I'd get to spend a whole week with her!!

"Hey A," she calls, running over to me.

"Hey Kit Kat," I smile, she was just so pretty.

I told mom that I wanted to marry Kit Kat when I grew up but for some reason, she didn't seem like she agreed. I don't know why, we were best friends, don't all best friends get married?

"Let's go swimming!!" Kit Kat shrieks excitedly, I don't really want to go swimming because it's so cold but she wants to, and I want her to be happy.

The water is freezing but she's happy so I stay in with her. Finally she gets out, I follow her and we sit on the edge of the lake.

Toby told me I just had to tell Kit Kat how I felt, I guess now was the time. Even if she doesn't like me back, we'll still be best friends. We always would be.

"Kit Kat, I need to tell you something," I say confidently, knowing that it was okay because she'd always be there anyway.

"What A?" She asks, her big blue eyes wide. I wish I had pretty eyes that looked like the sky, mine looked like poo.

"I love you." I state.

She giggles, " I love you too."

"No Kit Kat, I mean I love you in the way that means we should get married."

"A, we're only 12. I love you like that as well and I want to marry you as well, but when we grow up." Kat continues to giggle, her beautiful eyes glimmering.

"That's what I meant silly, so you love me back?" I ask, astounded. Her pretty braided hair blows a little in the wind and I wonder how someone who looks like that could like ME.

My mom has a picture of an angel in her room, but I think Kit Kat is even more beautiful.

"Of course!!" She enthuses, her face twists a little and she looks confused, "wait, does this make us boyfriend and girlfriend?"

I think about it, I think it does. Mom told me that when 2 people loved each other they would date and then become boyfriend and girlfriend, and then get married. "Don't we have to date first?" I ask her.

"I think so," she replies, looking as confused as me.

"So we're dating then?" I ask curiously.

"Obviously," Kit Kat replies.

"Okay we've dated, now let's be boyfriend and girlfriend," I say excitedly, we date and then become boyfriend and girlfriend right?

"I have a boyfriend," Kit Kat giggles.

"I have a girlfriend!!" I say excitedly.

"What do we do now?" She asks.

"I don't know, what do boyfriend and girlfriend usually do?" I reply, feeling very confused.

"I think we should tell our parents first," Kit Kat decides, I agree with her, now mom would have to believe we would get married when we grow up.

4 years ago,

I was nearly 15!! All my friends were jealous that I was dating Kit Kat. I didn't blame them, she was the most beautiful girl at school. I loved her so much, her parents had been fighting lately so she hadn't been coming to school much but we had made plans for this afternoon, I'd catch the bus to her house so I could see her. I know I saw her yesterday, but I missed her and she wasn't at school today.

As soon as the bell rings I run outside to catch the bus, I couldn't wait to see her.

I run to her front door and nock, her father didn't like me much anymore, ever since we were 13 and we had sex, her father hated me. I didn't really blame him, I knew we were really young but I also knew that I loved her, she was my forever.

She answers the door in her pajamas, even in her pajamas she was easily the prettiest girl at school, I had heard rumors from some of my friends that there was a girl that gave Kit Kat a run for her money at the other school but I didn't believe it, her name was Emily I think. Apparently her older sister was like super hot but had stopped coming to school for some reason.

I follow Kit Kat into her room and instantly hear her parents yelling at each other, it was a common occurrence lately.

"You wanna stay at my house tonight?" I offer, she looks down and shakes her head, when she looks up there are tears falling from her cheeks, her sky blue eyes look glassy.

"What happened?" I ask straight away, I hated seeing her cry.

"A, I need to tell you something," Kit Kat cries.

My heart breaks, I hated seeing her like this, and knowing there was nothing I could do.

I look at her, patiently waiting for her to speak.

"I'm moving to Australia with my mom, they're finally splitting up." Kit Kat cries.

My heart breaks, "what do you mean? You can't leave!!!"

"I need to, my mother needs me more than my father." She says through sobs.

"When are you leaving?" I ask, tears welling in my eyes.

"This Sunday." She sobs.

"Sunday? But it's Friday today." I say, my voice cracking. Did I really only have 2 more days with her?

She doesn't reply, her cries just get louder and I know that it's an answer in itself.

"It's fine, you'll come and visit and we can skype everyday and text throughout classes. It'll be like you're still here," I reassure her, but I knew what I was saying was bullshit.

She continues to sob and I pull her into a hug, tears falling freely from my own eyes. After a while, her sobs become quieter and she's able to talk again. "A, I love you so much and I always will but I don't want you to wait for me."

"What do you mean? Are you bre-breaking up with me?" I whisper through my own tears.

"Only for now, when my mom gets better I'll come and live back here with dad, and then we can be together again, until then we'll always be best friends." She begs crying.

"Kit Kat, I love you and I always will, please don't," I beg, my own tears becoming more frequent.

"Can't you see A, I'm doing this because I love you. I can't ask for you to wait for me, you were my first everything, and that means so much to me. I'll always love you but I need you to live your life until I can move back and we can be together." She explains to me.

My heart breaks and I stare at her, she was my best friend in the world, I loved her. Did that mean nothing anymore? I hated her parents for splitting up and forcing us to split up in the meantime.

"It's okay A, we'll still talk and until I move back, you'll still be my best friend. I'll come to visit my father as much as I can, and we can always meet up then. I love you so much A, I just want what's best for you and for now, that is if we break up. I promise you won't lose me though, you're my best friend and I love you so so much," Kit Kat begs, her cries becoming louder and more frequent.

"I love you too," I whisper, my heart feeling like someone just punched me hard in the chest. We lie down on her pink bed, hugging each other for the last time as a couple, now we'd just be best friends. I fall asleep, clinging on to the girl that was leaving me, and taking my heart with her.

3 years and 2 months ago,

"A," I hear someone yell, I turn around and see her. The girl I had thought so much about over the past 10 months. She was even more beautiful now, I didn't even know that was possible.

Before I can say anything, Kit Kat jumps into my open arms, hugging me like our lives depended on it, and honestly, it was the first time in nearly a year that I felt whole again. I had begun having meaningless sex with all these girls that reminded me of Kit Kat, it helped momentarily but there was a void in my chest that none of them could fix.

I would never tell her that though, I know she wanted me to move on, but I didn't want to hurt her.

When she told me she was coming back for 2 weeks I was so excited, my mother had agreed to pick her up and take her to her dad's. I was just so happy.

Mom dropped us both off her father's house while she took the babies shopping, I was excited to be alone with her, even if it was just as best friends.

We had been talking about everything, mom would still be over an hour and her father wouldn't be home for several hours, it was so nice being in her company, I knew I still loved her.

"You know, I heard about all your one night stands," Kit Kat says, I blush a little.

"How did you hear about that?" I ask.

"Blake," she replies. "It's nice to see you, Toby and Carter have finally let another guy fully into your circle."

I nod, I didn't know her and Blake spoke, we had just become close when she moved away, it was Toby that she knew the best, she didn't even really know Carter that well.

"I'm sorry," I say, guilt lacing my words.

Her eyes soften and she gives me a small smile that makes my heart beat faster; "Don't be, I'm the one who told you to move on, although I never thought you'd move on with a hundred different girls."

"You're not upset?" I ask, a part of me hoping she was. I needed to know if she was still as in love with me as I was with her.

"Of course I'm upset, I still love you. But I don't really have a right to be mad or anything, I was the one who told you to move on and I can't be annoyed that that's what you did," she admits, the same sad smile on her face.

"I still love you too," I say quickly, ecstatic that she still loved me.

"Really?" She asks, looking hopefully at me with her beautiful sky eyes.

"I think I always will, I know we're best friends but I think I'll always love you" I admit, she smiles and my heart flies for a minute.

"You understand why we can't be a couple anymore though don't you?" Kit Kat asks, the same sad smile on her face.

"Yeah, with you living in Australia we can't, but as soon as you move back, then we can," I reply honestly.

"Thank you for understanding," Kit Kat smiles, looking at me. I find myself leaning towards her, and almost jump for joy when I see her leaning back.

Our lips meet, I find myself eventually taking off my shirt, and notice her do the same thing.

One thing leads to another and suddenly my mother's calling, telling me she's outside.

I get off Kit Kat's bed, put on my clothes, and look at her smiling; "I'm really glad that happened Kit Kat."

"Me too, I'll see you tomorrow." She smiles back.

We had sex a couple more times during her stay, we both needed it and I was very aware of how different it felt when it wasn't meaningless. I guess that's how it started, every time she had visited since, one thing always led to another. It was still that way today. I wasn't sure if what we had was friends with benefits but I didn't think so. Usually, friends with benefits had no feeling for each other, trust me I knew. I also knew that Kit Kat still had feelings for me, she had never hidden it just like I had never hidden reciprocating the feelings, we didn't really talk about it anymore though, to be honest, I didn't even know how I felt about her anymore. I guess that's why we ended up having sex every time she visited, there were still unresolved feelings, and by unresolved I mean, I didn't know what I felt anymore. I did, however, know that a specific brunette had everything to do with my confusion.