I posted faster to make up for Ch. 22 : Hopefully you guys like this one better :)

This is dedicated, once again, to Heather! (who is sitting right next to me on my bed! ow ow!) Go check out Royal Pain in the Ass on her stories (you'll see a bit of Lana, Ian, Christine, Chad, and Fiore in there!)

On with the story!

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Chapter 23

I was discharged two days later when they were sure I had stabilized. I hadn’t reacted well to the triazolam, so they wanted to make sure I had recovered. Not only that, but they were concerned for my psychological well being. I hadn’t been speaking, so they were worried. I gazed out the window as we drove back to the palace from the hospital. Ian had tried to get me to talk, but I didn’t answer. I didn’t want to talk about anything. I couldn’t even stand him touching me right now. I felt unclean and there was a part of me that was afraid he felt the same way.

Sure I had recovered well enough from the drugs, but I was nowhere near okay yet. I knew this, but I wouldn’t admit it out loud. We were set to leave for the country estate this afternoon so that we would reach there by nightfall.

Ian walked with me upstairs to my room. He sat on my bed as I pulled out my suitcase and opened my wardrobe, looking through what I wanted to take with me. I couldn’t think straight though. There was too much on my mind for me to want to concentrate on “what to wear”. Ian seemed to notice my body language and he put his hands on my shoulder.

“Go sit down. I’ve got this.” He said, softly. I nodded and took his place while he started folding clothes into my suitcase. There was a light knock on my door and Ian said for whoever it was to come in. I hadn’t been speaking, so he assumed I wouldn’t answer. He was right.

“Hey,” Christine said, coming in and shutting the door behind her. “Need help?” She asked, looking at the scene in front of her. Ian nodded and she started helping him pack my clothes. It was relaxing, having them around. They didn’t force me to talk or ask me about it. Ian knew that I wasn’t pushing him away because I was upset with him, but because I couldn’t handle it yet. I wondered how long his understanding would last…

Christine was my savior. If not for her, I don’t know what would have happened. It still surprised me how much the two of them had changed in just a few short months. I watched as they worked together, speaking casually about what they wanted to do on the trip. They didn’t ignore me. I was just comfortable listening to the conversation rather than being involved.

I took a shower before we decided to head out. As I stood in the hot water, I felt oddly relaxed by it. The sound of the water hitting the tub and the feel of the heat relaxing my muscles was calming. I felt myself sink to the ground and just let the water run over me. That’s when I let the tears go. I hadn’t let myself cry yet, and it felt good to just release it all. I didn’t even know what specifically I was crying for, but I just liked the feeling. The water washed my tears off my face, and I let myself cry harder. I didn’t realize I had been in there for long, but before I knew it, almost an hour had passed by, and the water was turning cold. There was a knock on the door and I heard Ian calling to me. “Lana?” He sounded worried. I supposed they were afraid I would try something drastic, but I wasn’t like that. “LANA!” he shouted, this time pushing open the door. “What are you…Lana.” He breathed, looking down at me. I didn’t even bother to look up.

I heard as he turned off the water and grabbed a towel. I felt him wrap it around me and pick me up, cradling me against him. He carried me out to my bed and sat me down, drying me off carefully and helping me into the clothes I had lain out before my shower. “I’ll go tell them to come get your bags.” He said, before heading to the door.

“Ian.” I said when he started to leave. He turned and I felt my bottom lip quiver. I ran over to him and into his outstretched arms. He held me against him tight. “I’m so sorry. I love you so much.” I sobbed and he shook his head.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, darling. I love you too.” He kissed the top of my head and tilted my head up to look at him. “I’ll be right back, and then we can be on our way, okay?”

“When did you become so sweet?” I asked him seriously. He was so gentle, and understanding. I was still having a hard time understanding how he could be so…perfect.

“I’m not really. It’s all an act.” Ian joked before giving me a soft kiss on my lips. “Be right back.” He added before closing the door behind him.

The drive to the country estate was long, so I fell asleep lying against Ian. I woke up to him lightly shaking me. Christine and Chad were both talking quietly amongst themselves and the sun was almost below the horizon. “We’re just about here, Lana.” Ian whispered to me and I looked out the window, and managed a small smile.

“It’s so beautiful…” I said, pressing my nose against the glass making Ian chuckle.

The house was magnificent, built from gray stone, towering at three stories. A green moss had grown over the face of the house, giving it character. There were trees everywhere and a forest backdrop, enclosing them with privacy. I walked out of the car when we pulled up to the front and looked up at it, still wondering how I had gotten so lucky for all the things I did have. Was what happened to me almost like retribution for having too much good in my life? For taking advantage of everything I had?

I pushed those hurtful thoughts to the back of my mind. I didn’t need to dwell in the dreariness any longer than I already had. I took one of my bags as the others were brought up for me. I followed Christine into the house, my hand held by Ian. The interior was even more exquisite than the exterior. Beautifully embroidered draperies and ornately designed furniture decorated the home and I let out a long breath. “This is amazing.” I whispered, afraid to break the silence of the house. Christine smiled at me and we all jumped when we heard a noise that sounded like breaking glass.

“You’re such an idiot, Hewitt!” a girl’s voice spouted.

“I didn’t know it would fall, stupid.” Hewitt retorted back.

We all walked slowly into the kitchen to see two people arguing, and both looked very much alike. Dirty blonde hair, nicely tanned skin, and jade green eyes. They both looked up at us in shock and then a wide smile formed on the girl’s face.

“IAN!” She ran full speed in our direction and leaped onto him. There wasn’t much time to react, so I found myself standing there in shock.

“Anise…” Ian mumbled, returning the hug and then prying her arms from around him.

“We thought you weren’t going to be until a little later.” Hewitt said, walking toward us.

“It’s crazy. I can’t remember the last time we’ve seen each other.” Chad commented, scratching his head nervously. Anise let out a small giggle.

“Far too long.” She pinched Chad’s arm and Hewitt smacked the back of her head.

“Stop flirting. And who do we have here?” He asked, approaching me and Ian cleared his throat.

“This is Lana,” Ian started.

“Our advisor.” Christine interjected and I gave her a confused look. She gave me a look that said not to say anything, so I kept my mouth shut. It wasn’t like I was keen on talking anyway. After everything, I felt that these two were going to get on my nerves. I just wanted to be alone, and have a quiet time away from the city. Something told me these two didn’t like “quiet”. “Lana, this is Anise and Hewitt. They live not too far on an estate of their own. We were all very good friends growing up. If you haven’t noticed, they’re twins. We would see them whenever we visited here, or if they decided to head into the city. It’s been forever though.” Christine explained to me in a quick whisper.

“What are you doing here?” Chad asked them. Anise came over and took both his and Ian’s arms, leading them into the next room, which turned out to be the dining room. I cocked my eyebrow at Christine to show my annoyance and she gave me a reassuring smile before taking my arm herself and following after.

Dinner was set on the table, except for a few missing glasses. Hewitt came in behind us with more, and I suppose that explained the shattering noise from earlier. Anise took the seat between Chad and Ian. This left me to sit across from Ian, beside Christine. “We wanted to surprise you.” Anise said, a giggle in her voice. Hewitt rolled his eyes.

“We were excited to finally see you again after so long.” He continued.

“How did you even know we were coming?” Christine asked, as servants seemed to appear from nowhere to start serving us food.

“Your mother called our mother. She said you guys were going on a little vacation and that we would probably see you!” The conversation carried on lightly, them all sharing memories and trying to catch up. Fifteen minutes passed, I looked down at my plate and felt my stomach squirm. I hadn’t touched a thing. I wasn’t sure if it was the thought of eating, or Anise’s strange peppiness. Maybe it was everyone so happy and carefree around me. Whatever the reason, I suddenly felt ill, and my face felt hot.

“Lana, are you okay?” Christine asked me. “You look pale.” She put a hand to my forehead and I shoed it away. Both Ian and Chad were giving me worried looks and I shook my head.

“Probably just tired. I’m not very hungry. Excuse me, please.” I stood from the table and I heard other chairs squeak back too. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll just go find my room.” I assured them and headed out of the dining room into the hall. I felt the tears threaten to start again. Why couldn’t I just be happy and join in on the conversation? What was wrong with me? And who did that Anise think she was, just taking Ian like that?

I shook my head. I was over thinking things again. I found the stairs and one of the servants coming down the stairs. He was young and stopped in his tracks at seeing me. “Miss, are you feeling all right?”

“Um, not really. I just want to go to my room.” I said, avoiding his eyes. I didn’t want to worry him, but I could feel the tears ready to spill over and I just needed to be alone. I couldn’t be in their happy reunion circle right now. This was my vacation away, and I wanted to be alone right now.

“Of course, Miss Reed. I’m Gregory, and if you need anything you just let me know.” He answered, gesturing for me to follow him upstairs. His voice was soft as he told me about the house and where everything was that I needed. My room was on the third floor, and when we got there he followed me in to show me where all my towels would be and whatnot. I nodded accordingly with everything but I think he could tell I wasn’t all there. “If it’s not too bold to say so, you look a bit pale and your eyes are glossed over. Do you need anything? Are you ill?” His voice was soft and he seemed genuinely worried. I shook my head and managed a small smile.

“I’ll manage fine with a little rest. I’ve just been through a lot. I just need rest.” I repeated, turning my gaze to the ground. He stood there a moment longer and gave a small nod.

“Very well, miss. Just ring if you need anything. Good night.” He left before he could hear my small reply.

“Good night…” I whispered back. I walked over to the window and looked out at the forest in the distance. My room was in the back, facing the woods. During sunset, it had looked beautiful. Now, in the dark, it looked menacing and dangerous. A flash of Logan’s evil smirk past before my eyes and I let out a groan before running to the bathroom and vomiting.

The memories, or rather lack there-of, were making me sick to my stomach. Just thinking of what the bastard had done to me, made me physically ill. I vomited until there was nothing left and I rinsed my mouth, splashing the cold water on my face. I left the bathroom and turned off the lights lying down on my bed and closing my eyes.

Was I being too dramatic? Was I letting this get to me more than I should? But really, what was the right or wrong way to behave after something like that? It’s not like there’s a list for me to follow. I didn’t feel that it was wrong to want to be alone. To be honest, the most confusing thing was I knew I should be disturbed by what had happened to me. However, because I had no memory of it, it all felt like a bad dream, or a mean joke. I didn’t know if I was being too dramatic, or too okay. I felt tired, not just physically, but mentally.

There was a knock on the door, and I woke up not realizing I had drifted off. My door creaked open and I heard Ian’s voice. “Lana?” He whispered, and walked in shutting the door behind him.

“Hmm?” I mumbled, turning over. He gave me a soft half-smile.

“Are you feeling okay? I was worried.” A small part of my mind hissed ‘then why didn’t you follow me off the table?’ but I pushed that voice away. It was wrong of me to want to pull him away from childhood friends of his. Besides, he was here now.

“I guess.” I said, sitting up. He sat next to me and I cuddled into his arms, letting out a sigh. “So, did your friends leave already? I feel so rude for just leaving like that.”

“Don’t feel bad about anything, Lana. To be honest, it was a little rude of them to just show up like that. I mean, you weren’t prepared to be bombarded by strangers and I’m sorry.” He pushed my hair back and kissed my forehead. I pulled him back to lie down on the bed with me.

“They just wanted to surprise you. You didn’t know, so there’s nothing to be sorry for. I just couldn’t sit down there and pretend to be pleasant and sociable.” I explained, burying my face into his chest inhaling the scent of his cologne.

“We understand. Christine and Chad wanted to come up to but I told them to let me handle it.” Ian said with a wink. I knew he was just teasing. We fell into a comfortable silence as he played with my hair and I tried to match my breathing to his. “Do you want to watch a movie to fall asleep to?” He asked. I thought about it for a moment and nodded. He stood to go and turn on the television hidden in what I thought was a wardrobe.

“There was a telly in there?!” I exclaimed and Ian laughed.

“Yes, it’s a ninja telly.” He joked and turned it on, before putting on a movie.

As we watched it, something was plaguing my mind. Though I was glad for its distracting effect, keeping my mind off Logan. “Ian,”

“Yeah?”

“Was there something between you and Anise last time you were here?” Ian didn’t answer right away. “Ian?”

“It’s complicated. We never actually dated, but we did spend a lot of time together. We also kissed, but nothing ever got serious. This was back when we were teenagers. You shouldn’t worry about Anise, all right?”

“I don’t know, she seems like she still likes you.”

“You got that from less than thirty minutes with her.”

“You usually only need ten. Those kinds of hints are usually easy to pick up on.” I gave a shrug and cuddled closer. “But I don’t plan on letting anyone steal you, okay?”

“Ditto.” He kissed my cheek and I blinked before reaching up and kissing his lips softly. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him against me. He pulled back in shock at my sudden rush of passion and I groaned.

“Kiss me, Ian.” I demanded. He obliged without another word and suddenly I was under him, wrapped around him. I was surprised myself that I wanted this so badly. I thought that I was afraid of being touched, but I suppose the lack of memory helped in that.

Ian’s lips were so soft, and I felt his hands push under my shirt and gently stroke my skin. I kissed him hungrily, trying to pull him closer even though we were pressed against one another. I tugged at his shirt and he threw it off, tossing it to the floor. We were breathing heavily now and I moaned as he started on my neck. Everything else was wiped from my mind. I could only think of the fact that this guy was mine, and he wanted me. My shirt was the next to go and Ian kissed down my stomach making me moan. The second he reached my bellybutton though, a trigger was flipped in my mind and I jumped back. He pulled away instantly and watched me, patiently waiting for me to say something. “I’m not ready, yet.” I said quietly.

“It’s okay. We’ll wait.” He kissed my forehead softly and I pulled him down to kiss me again.

“I didn’t want to stop what we were doing though. I just…I don’t want to go that far yet. Not this soon…I still…feel…” I struggled for the right word, “unclean, for you.” I mumbled, embarrassed.

“Do not feel that way. You are perfect. You are everything that is beautiful about this world.” He moved my face to look into his eyes. “I love you. I want you. I will wait however long you want or need to wait Lana. The only important thing is that I know you still want me too.”

“I love you too.” I breathed before kissing him again. I knew it would take a long time before I could even think about getting past what had happened. It was possible I would never get over it. All that mattered was that Ian was by my side, and I had no intention to change that.

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