picture: august moodboard

Things picked up rapidly after their spontaneous make out session behind the mall. James had invited her to his home and August moaned against his neck with delight. The car ride to his home was filled with static and anticipation, despite them keeping their hands on each other at all times. A sudden rush of fear had also passed through her. Fear of the future and what it beheld.

The last of the evening rays were diminished now, covering the sky with the soft black that reminded August of a dark deep cave. She could hear the swaying of the trees from a distance, the wind making a whistle like sound. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves and tasted the salt of the humid air. She had been to James' house once though she doubted he even remembered. It was at the end of freshman year at a party open to all. His friends had rather forced him to play the host because he had the largest house among them. August only attended because it was his house and she wouldn't miss the oppurtinity in a million years. She only saw him once that night drinking out of a plastic cup, but she lacked the courage to talk to him.

Now, she stood on his porch once again but under completely contrasting circumstances. Circumstances that miraculously played out in her favour. Her skin felt like it was touching flames, and her anguished eyes roamed around the front garden, the grey picket fence and the wooden door. She could feel the beating of her heart in her ears as her fingers grazed the rust on the door's hinges in a hypnotized manner. According to her, James was taking an extensive amount of time to park her car but it had only been a minute till she felt his breath on her neck.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," he kissed under her ear as he fumbled with the keys to open the door.

August didn't have the luxurious time to take in her surroundings like she did the last time she was in his home. James immediately pinned her to a wall and crashed his lips on hers. Their limbs tangled with their bodies and August was surprised how they made their way up the stairs in such a compromising position.

His room was dark and it was hard to make out the details but she didn't care. James had taken over all of her senses. She felt him everywhere, his hands explored her body and her skin burst into flames with tantalising waves of desire. His hair was honey soft and her fingers couldn't stop grazing them. Somewhere a small light flicked on and she saw James' hand on the lamp switch. For a fleeting moment, their eyes met and she could see the cravings reciprocated in his. A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips and she kissed it.

"Is this really okay with you?" August thought her voice sounded different, a little rough. Maybe even hopeful.

"More than okay," James whispered back.

In one swift motion, he got rid of his sweatshirt and captured August's lips again. Her hands tugged at his hair one last time before they travelled down his chest. All her wildest dreams came true in that moment. Her fingers ran in slow memorizing patterns over his torso, his stomach and his chest until they reached across his perfectly chiseled back. James' fingers tugged at the bottom of her top and she wondered for a brief moment where she discarded her denim jacket. In the next few seconds, her top met the wooden floor and his hands were touching her bare skin, igniting her further. They stumbled across the dimly lit room towards his bed and she was hit with the strong scent of him, her insides curling themselves to make way for every piece of him she can inhale. It was glorious and magnificent and every other word she couldn't think of then.

Between kisses and heavy breaths, they undid their jeans and the rest of their garments together and tossed them away. She felt herself unbearably fragile under his touch, like she was made of wax. But James held her bare body carefully and protectively, like he knew. She was terrified for what was to come but she felt safe and ready all the same. There was one thing though that she wanted him to know.

"James," she tugged on his hair and pulled him back to meet her eyes. His greens were clouded with something else but she couldn't place it. "I haven't ever before ...you know."

"You're a virgin?" He seemed surprised, but to her credit didn't run away fifty miles like she thought he would. "That's okay."

"Are you sure?" She whispered one final time.

"Positive. Don't worry, I'll be gentle." He kissed her temple as he said that.

August shifted closer and closer to him, tangling her hands within his hair, feeling his around her back and on her chest. She pressed herself against him until she was lost within his body, engulfing all of his motions. Their rocked back and forth till they couldn't anymore, their limbs shining with sweat and breathes heavy. Afterward, they lay together on his bed, his chest pressed against her back, and fingers running in small circles around her navel. She felt him shiver and she turned around to place a hand on his cheek.

"What are you thinking?" She admired the green of his eyes, noticing how they were closer to golden around the edges. His distracted gaze focused on her and she couldn't help but smile with content.

"Nothing," he returned a small smile of his own.

~•~

The scent hit her before anything else. His scent. Then she felt the heaviness of his arm draped across her side and soft snores through her dark hair. August scooted closer to James and brushed a lock of hair away from his forehead. She couldn't help but think he looked gorgeous while sleeping. And he had trusted her enough to sleep with her. Not sex, but sleep. In the most innocent way. She knew most guys would send girls home but he had insisted she stayed. They had ordered pizza last night and ate while playing on his play station and laughing about nothing in particular.

It was different with him. She knew it was partly because she had been in love with him for almost three years. And she found herself always laughing and glowing with content. She was happy. But what beamed her heart was that he was happy too. He must be. He looked so much better than the time he was frustrated about breaking up with Betty. He was probably over their break up considering he hadn't mentioned it since. And it was her who had helped him divert his thoughts away from her. Though August had no envious feeling towards Betty whatsoever, but she couldn't have been more delighted at the idea of having James for herself.

And now she did. She had him in the most intimate way possible and she had slept with him the whole night. It was early morning now and the sunlight seeped in through the cream coloured curtains. Her eyes followed the trail of the morning light to James' bare back and she traced a finger over his smooth skin. It dipped down in the crease that bisected his back and she felt him shiver under her touch. A visual suddenly took over her mind and she found herself wanting to write her name on his chiseled back. Like the way she does after she completes a painting, to mark it as her own. To let everyone know that it belongs to her. That he belongs to her.

But before she could do anything further, she heard James groan under her. "Your finger is killing me."

His morning voice did unspeakable wonders to her body. She slipped underneath him and whispered boldly, "Wake up and it will be more than my finger."

~•~

Over the next couple weeks, August was blissfully cheerful. She met up with James frequently – mostly at his house or behind the mall and they went for lunches, milkshake or coffee dates. At nights, they went for long drives that turned into heated make out sessions in the car. His bed had started to smell like her, and she loved it. Wrapped up around his arms with their limbs twisted within bed sheets, their hands never off of the other. Occasionally, they sipped cheap wine from the local store and listened to indie records. He had let her skate around the neighbourhood and laughed shamelessly at her effort to stay balanced. She had kissed him hard and melted his laugh away.

She had brought him to her home once and showed him most of her artwork. She was bathed in anxiousness as he gazed around her workspace. Showing her work to someone was close to baring her soul naked. It was too personal, her escapism. Not many people have come in her room before, save for a handful of close friends. She never thought of all people, James would breathe the air in her room one day. He had complimented her obvious talent and dipped a finger in a yellow paint bottle, smudging it on August's cheek. That led to a small paint-fight right in the middle of her room, her laughs echoing throughout the house. But she managed to stop him before anything could be damaged. Then they had sex for the first time in her room.

When she wasn't with him, August worked on her new painting that was long overdue. She had been musing for inspiration before, but now she had no trouble working her thoughts. They always crawled back to him. She counted the hours in utmost anticipation until she could meet him. Checking her phone, cancelling her plans in case he'd call, and spending as much time with him as she can for the summer had become her routine. And before she knew it, the month of her summer love slipped away. She didn't know how this would work during school. If he would acknowledge her among his friends, or take her out on double dates. But she willed to keep it working that long and lived for the hope of it all. She wanted him. Lord knows, she wanted him more than anything in the world.

And for her, that was enough.

~•~