It's been about a few weeks since Haley died and everything has been crazy. Aaron was a mess but Jack had no idea what was going on. It was a good thing that he was so young. Aaron had tried his best to keep his cool. You tried to be there for him the best you could. But you were mostly taking care of Jack as he got his work done.

Jack seemed to be doing good. He had missed his mom a lot which is understandable. Every day before putting him to bed you would light a candle so he could talk to her.

You gave the team constant updates on how they were doing. Derek had taken over the team. You hated to admit it but he was doing a good job. No one would say that as not to feed his ego.

Somehow you had been convicting Aaron to come home at a reasonable hour. Well, whenever you left instead of staying an extra 2 hours like he normally does.

It was nice having him home, even though Aaron didn't enjoy it as much.

~~~~~

Walking into the he BAU was quiet. It wasn't normal. Things normally are at a fast pace paper flying around, the smell of coffee fills the air. Well the smell of coffee is stuck to all the walls. When you make it to your desk the phone starts ringing. You look over and see it was JJ office number.

"Jay?" You asked picking up the phone.

"Can you come to my office?" She asked.

"Yeah gimme a second I just got here." Her voice was professional.

She wasn't going to talk to you about something that was happening with Will. It was work.

You take off your jacket and put it on the back of your chair. You get everything situated then walked out of the bullpen and down the hall. You pop your head into her office and she's hold a manila folder.

"What's going on?" You walked in.

"Strauss came into my office this morning and gave these to me." She held up a file. "She gave them to me because you weren't here yet. You know me, I'm nosy." You smiled cause she was nosy, not Penelope nosy but nosy enough. "It's an application to be apart of the bored." She finally got to the point. "Are you planning on leavening us?"

"No." You moved to sit in the chair across from her.

"Cause if you are, you picked the worst time to do it-" She said either ignoring what you had said or she just didn't hear you.

"JJ I'm not leaving." You said more sternly. You could see her body physically relax.

"Last year Strauss came to me with the same papers, but I thought she was joking. I realized she wasn't when she called me asking if I filled them out. I knew I wasn't going to get that's why I didn't say anything. It was just to make her look good." You explained.

"Make her look good?"

"She apparently knew some of my professors, they talked to her about me and next thing I know she's calling me wanting to know if I ever wanted to work for the FBI. Of course I wanted to work for the FBI. She said she gave my file to the chief of the BAU. I didn't hear from her for a while. Then I got a call from one Agent Aaron Hotchner wanting an interview with me. A week later I started here. Hotch was impressed by my thinking, I'm guessing he didnt look at my file close enough." You tried to make a joke but JJ wasn't having it. "She sees it as she brought me here and every move I make is on her."

"Are you going to apply again?" Was all she asked.

"I don't think I have a choice." It was an honest answer. Strauss was gonna be on your ass about it. "They probably won't accept me cause nothings changed, just my age and the time with the BAU." You shrugged taking the file from JJs desk.

"Your doctorate." JJ said.

"What about it?" You didn't see a significance to it.

"Wouldn't that have some pull?"

"Possibly but it's in mathematics, I don't see how it could play into anything." You had actually forgotten that you had a doctorate. The expression on her face was more worried.

"Look Jay, the only reason I'm going to fill out these papers is because Strauss wants me too." She accepted you answer.

You gave her a reassuring smile and walked back to your desk. You toss them on your desk. You hesitate when opening the file. It was routine questions.

You half assed checking the boxes and writing shitty answers. You weren't going to focus if the papers just sat there. So you finished and went up to the 8th floor to give it to Strauss.

You walk to Strauss office and she was standing at her desk. You knock and she turns around.

"Agent Y/L what brings you here?" She asked. You stuck your arm out to give her the file.

"I thought I would get theses to you before you start calling me."

"Good." She took the file from you and skimmed it.

"Everything looks good." She closed the file and looked at you. You hadn't moved. "Is there something else?" She asked.

"Why me?" You asked. It was an actual question you had and couldn't seem to find the answer. "There are so many other Agents that are so much more qualified for this position. So why me?"

"Have you seen your resume? You finished college with your first PhD when you were 18. You got your second and third and you were barley 22. You just got your doctorate and your 26. You've worked with the bureau for a while now. And in such little time you've been in the BAU, Agent Hotchner has spoken very highly of you, so has everyone else on your team. So if the other members see it the way I do, I believe I'll be seeing you on the board in April." You nod.

"Good to see you ma'am." You turn around and walked out.

~~~~~

The rest of the went very slowly. Paper work for 9 hours was an ideal slow day. After wiring all day the morning events had left your mind completely.

Once you sign off the last paper you collect the files and walk to Derek new off. His desk was covered with pictures of his family and a few of Penelope. You drop the files in the bin.

"Great more." He groans as a grin spreads across your face.

"You don't have to keep doing it you know." You commented and sat in the chair across from him.

"I know, I just don't wanna overwhelm Hotch. It's the last thing he needs." Derek sat back in his chair.

"Trust me, he'd do anything to not come home with me at 5 o'clock everyday."

"He'a not happy to go home?"

"He puts on a happy face. Of course he loves spending more time with Jack. Who wouldn't?" You smiled at the thought of the little boy. "He just feels useless."

"We all feel useless right now."

"Fair point." You stood up to walk out.

"Whenever Hotch wants his job back he can have it!" He yelled to you.

"I'll make sure to tell him!" You yelled back.

Walking backing it the bullpen you see Aaron already standing at your desk.

"So I don't have to pull you out today?" You asked as you go closer.

"No." He placed his hand on hand on your lower back as you grabbed your stuff.

You wanted to kiss him so bad but you had both agreed to no PDA. When you were in his office however...that's a different story.

~~~~~

You lay in bed flipping through Tv channels

"There's nothing good on." You turn to your side to face Aaron who was coming out of the shower.

"Didn't you start a book this morning?" He asked.

"Yeah I finished it when we got to work." You said like it was nothing.

"Of course you did." He pushes you hair back and kisses your forehead.

He climb into bed with you. You take no time to put yourself between his arms. He smells like your strawberry shampoo that was in his bathroom. He was warm from the shower.

Only the sound of the tv was playing. You could stay like that forever only if the world let you.

*Ring Ring*

You groan and dig yourself deeper into his arms.

"It's Emily." He said.

"She can't wait." You muttered into his chest. You try to zone out the sound but it didn't go away.

"It doesn't look like she can wait." He said. You rolled over and grabbed your phone.

"Emily this better be good-"

"Are you at home?" She cut you off.

"Define home." You considered your house and Aaron's house yours home.

"Your house, are you at your house?" She sounded anxious.

"No I'm at Aaron's- what's wrong?"

"Something happened with me and JJ, I don't know what to do." She was freaking out.

"Emily what's going on?"

"Everything just happened so fast-"

"Emily I cant help you if you don't tell me what happened."

"We fucked Y/N, JJ came over she was tipsy and said she didn't want to go home to the boys like that and she asked to stay. Of course I said she could. And you know how she's gets when's she drinks, she's talks a lot. She was saying stuff about how her and Will have been having problems and the only reason she was still with his was because of Henry. She kept talking and I said some things the she kissed me and I didn't stop it then next thing I know she's naked on my bed." She ranted.

"Where is she?" You asked.

"Sleeping on my bed."

"Go lay with her, cause you don't know if your gonna get this again." She nodded along. "When she wakes up just talk to her, that's all you gotta do." You voice was soothing. You could hear her breathing become steady.

"Hello?" She was silent for a little to long.

"Ok." That was all she said.

"Ok, go." You hung up before she could talk her self out of it.

You rolled to your other side to face Aaron again. You could read the confused look on his face from a mile away.

"Is she ok?" He asked.

"She will be." You answer simply. Aaron Hotchner wasn't one to gossip or ever listen to gossip. But he was leaning in like her wanted to know more.

"Ok I tell you this as your girlfriend so you can't tell anyone else." He nodded along. You moved you have your back against the head board.

You took the time to explain what has been going on with Emily. He seemed genuinely shocked at what you had told him. As the boss of a profiling team you would think he would be better at reading people.

~~~~~

Your eyes shot open to the pitch black room. There would be sometimes where you would wake up in the middle of the night. Nothing would be wrong, not a bad dream, not being to hot. You would just wake up. Tonight was one of those nights.

You roll over to find your phone. The bright light hits your face. 2:48am. You groan and roll back over to Aaron. You once had called his sleep boring because he sleeps on his back with his arm either one his side or his stomach.

This wasn't anything different. He's on his back with one hand on his side and the other on his stomach. You pull the blanket to you face and snuggled closer to take him all his warmth.

Before you had the chance to wrap yourself around him he starts to squirm.

"No." He mumbled in his sleep.

"Stop." The only reason he could be talking in his sleep was because he was dreaming.

The muscles in his arm tighten. You look down and saw that his fists were clenched. He was having a nightmare. You grab his shoulders and lightly shake him.

"Hey." You whisper. He didn't move. You shake him a little harder and his eyes shot open. He start breathing heavily as he looks to you.

"Hey." You repeated when you see tears roll down his face. You pull his head to your chest. He wraps his arm tightly around you.

"It's ok." You run your fingers through his hair trying to soothe him as much as possible.

This wasn't the first nightmare he had since Haley died. The first few time he didn't wanna talk about it and you let him be, he realized it was too much for him to handle on his own and eventually told you.

"You wanna talk about it?" You asked gently. He poked his head out.

"It wasn't Haley." That was all he sad.

"What do you mean it wasn't Haley?"

"She wasn't the one who died...you were." He pauses. "When I found you, Foyet was as standing over you. When I look over I saw he put a built through your head." Hearing this was terrifying, but it was worse for him because he actually saw it.

"I just couldn't get to you fast enough." He was starting to break down and you could hear it in his voice.

"I'm here, I'm alive and I'm not going anywhere."

You repeated yourself and played with his hair until you knew he was alseep. He breathing was steady and his was limp. He looked so peaceful sleeping.

You convinced yourself he was going to wake up again when his breathing got heavier. He was out cold.