You had been staring at the girls' pictures and re-reading their files even though they were already memorized for about an hour.

"What are you thinking about?" Reid asked from next to you. Of course, they put the two that could read 20,000 words per minute in the same room to read files.

"Nothing." You simply answer.

"It's impossible for someone to think about nothing because in the human brain-"

"Stop, think, do I know the answer?" You held up a finger to him.

"Yes."

"Do you need to explain it?"

"Probably not."

"Then don't." You smile to yourself, Reid still hadn't gotten used to the fact there was someone as smart as him on the team. He didn't have to explain everything.

"L/N." Hotchs voice came out of nowhere. "You and Derek are gonna go talk to some families." You nodded not wanting to argue. You meet with Derek at the car and figured that since you knew the area you were gonna drive. You were halfway out of the station and Derek started laughing.

"What?" You asked and glanced at him.

"It's like watching Reid drive," Derek said with a big smile.

"Ok, that offensive." You said and punch him.

"Your very abusive." He said and rubbed his arm. "This is the second time you hit me in 2 days."

"Don't act as it hurt." You weren't apologetic. You both laugh it off as you pull up to the first family's house.

"You ready to talk to some distraught families?"

"As ready as I can be." You both walk up to the house. You rang the doorbell and waited for someone to answer the door. A middle-aged man opened the door.

"Mr. Thomas?" You asked.

"Yes." He furrowed his eyebrows

"I'm SSA y/n l/n and this is my partner SSA Derek Morgan, we're with the FBI." You both showed your badges.

"Oh yes, I remember seeing you're around, but that was a long time ago." He smiled lightly, You gave him a gentle smile back.

"We're here investigating 3 suicides, do you mind if we ask you a few questions about your daughter."

"Of course not, come in." He stepped aside as you and Derek walked in and took a seat on the couch.

"Is your wife here?" Derek asked.

"Yes, but I'd rather not wake her. She finally sleeping after a couple of days." You nod.

"Had you noticed anything odd about your daughter before she died? Acting out or getting in trouble? Or maybe she was just really quiet?"

"A little bit of both. One day we got a call from the campus security saying that Alyssa had gotten into a fight, which was odd because she never got into fights she didn't have enemies. When we went to go pick her up she didn't say a word, didn't even try to explain herself. For the rest of the week, she was closed off. Then we found her on the floor of the bathroom." You reached out to grab his hand.

"I'm so sorry for your loss."

"I just wish I could've done something to help her." He got choked up.

"Dad." A little voice came from around the corner.

"Hey, baby girl." He reached out to grab her hand.

"Hey, sweetheart what's your name?" You gave a warm smile.

"Jenna." She said shyly.

"Hi Jenna, I'm y/n and this is my friend Derek." You point at Derek, she waved at you guys. She didn't look older than 13.

"Are you here about my sister?"

"Yeah, we are. Do you remember your sister acting weird at all?" She just shrugged her shoulders you could tell that she was uncomfortable around Derek and her dad. You asked her father if you could talk to her privately. You both walked over to her very colorful room. It reminded you of Penelope's office, there were so many stuffed animals.

"I love your room." You said and sat to her on the bed and picked up a stuffed elephant.

"Thank you." She smiled big.

"Did your sister ever tell you about what was going on at school?"

"She never told me anything but I remember her talking with her friends on the phone." She looked at her hands.

"Do you remember what she talked about?"

"She said something about being stressed, and something about a guy, I can't remember his name."

"That's ok." You gave her a reassuring smile. "Did she stress over school a lot?"

"Well, she was a 16-year-old college sophomore."

"Right." You felt kinda stupid for asking. You guys say there for a minute trying to comfort her as much as you could.

"This is my card." You pulled one out of your pocket. "If you remember anything don't hesitate to call me." She stared at the card as if it was gonna disappear from her hand. You meet with Derek back in the living room.

"She said Alyssa was stressed about school, which is reasonable because she was young."

"She never said anything to us." Mr. Thomas.

"She probably didn't want you guys to worry."

"No that doesn't make sense, she never struggled even when she was a freshman. She even took some easier class to not have so much on her." Your mind started racing.

"I gave Jenna my card in case she remembers anything." He gave a kind smile and escorted you and Derek back outside. You started to pick at your nails when you guys walked to the car and it didn't go unnoticed by Derek.

"What's wrong?" He asked as you both stepped into the car.

"Call Penelope."

"What are you thinking?" He pulled out his phone.

"She never acted out, all the sudden she was stressed and getting into fights, it doesn't make sense."

"y/n they're teenager stuff happens."

"Not to these girls." He looked confused. "Derek I was one of them, no matter what was going on at home or in their lives they won't let it affect the school. They won't let a guy or a falling out with a friend affect them. So something big had to happen for them to rash out."

"Hi pumpkins, what can I do you for?" Penelope answered the phone.

"Hey, have you had a chance to look through the girls' phones?" You bit your nail.

"I was just about to, is there something you want me to look out for?"

"Can you run certain words through a search engine to see if the girls had texted to anyone?"

"Yeah gimme one second." You heard fast typing coming from the other line. Derek hasn't wiped that confused look off his face yet. "Ok, what am I looking for."

"Ok look up Stressed, T.A., Forced, After-hours, Bitch, and Cut." You could feel Penelope's concern through the phone.

"Wow, there's one message that uses almost all of them. Alyssa sent a message to someone named Alex. She said, "My English T.A. could see I was stressed so he asked if wanted to stay after class for extra help." She abruptly stopped.

"What is it, Penelope?"

"She said the T.A. practically forced himself on her." You could hear her voice break.

"I knew it." You said more to yourself. "Can you look up the same words in the other girls' phones?" There wasn't an answer just very aggressive typing.

"Oh my god." She was on the verge of tears.

"What is it, babe?" Derek asked.

"Christina said she couldn't deal with the stress and the stuff that was going on after hours she thought about cutting again." Your jaw tightens.

"Ashley?" You asked about the other girl.

"She said the thought of getting raped by the T.A. again made her want to kill herself."

"Can you look up campus security reports to see who Alyssa Thomas got into a fight with right before she died?" You didn't want to comment on what she had previously said until you were sure you know who it was.

"Page O'Malley she was another T.A. at the school."

"Let me guess, she was assaulted too but by the time she said something the statute of limitations was up."

"Bingo." You knew you were right.

"Derek call Hotch." You said and started the car.

"Why?"

"Can you just call him, I would but I'm driving?" The shakiness in your voice was unheard of. Derek said a quick goodbye to Penelope then dialed Hotch's number.

"y/n what's going on?"

"I don't know but I might just lose my job."

"Ok well let's not do what we're about to do," Derek said.

"Hello?" Hotch's voice came through.

"Hotch I think I know who the unsub is."

~~~~~

You stood on the other side of a one way mirror looking at your ex-boyfriend. You had ran into his class room and saw him with another girl that looked just like the others. He was the only one that consistently showed up in all the girls lives.

"Are you sure about this?" Hotch asked from standing behind you.

"I should've known when we first saw him." Your arms were crossed.

"There's no way we could've known that."

"I should've. I know this sick asshole. I loved him. I should've known."

"You can't put this on yourself." Hotch stood next to you. "If we did that every case no one could do this job." You still blamed yourself even though you knew he was right. The team had a agreed that it would be you to conduct the interview. You were the thing he really wanted and dangling it in front of his face would drive him nuts. You walked in with Derek right in your tail. You sit down across from him while Derek stands by the door.

"I see you brought your bodyguard." He said. Derek intimidated him. Derek was the definition of the perfect guy. Muscles, sweet, good in bed (I think). It wasn't something he was.

"Do you know why we brought you here?"

"You think I had something to do with the suicides." He shrugged.

"Yeah." You pull out the pictures of all 3 girls. "Your the only person that pops up multiple times in their lives." He looked at the pictures.

"What did you do to them Ben?" He was taken back by the use of his first name.

"I didn't hurt them." You analyzed his body as he talked. He held his breath. He head twitched. He's not looking at you.

"Why can't you look at me?" His eyes were slowly brought to yours. "Do I remind you of what you did go those girls?"

"I didn't kill them." He wasn't lying about that he didn't kill them by he brought them to that point.

"I didn't ask if you did. I asked why you can't look at me. Does looking at me remind you of the horrible things you did to them." His eyes narrowed. "Just a little pat in the shoulder, maybe your hand would fall, ran down their arm. When they rejected you, you threatened to fail them. You knew they couldn't live with themselves if they failed. So once they agreed, you would caress their cheek. Grab their waist. Pull them in so close, you could smell their shampoo." He slammed his hand in the table as if say that was enough, you didn't flinch at his movement. He stood up and Derek took a step closer.

"Sit. Down." You said as stern as your voice would go. "You don't get to slam your hand on a table and say you done." He sat down again and Derek backed up.

"You have no proof that I did this." You laugh to yourself.

"If you look through the girls phone they are constantly being up how their English T.A. made them want to kill themselves. Oh guess what. Your the only English T.A. they had. I have multiple surveillance videos showing you and the girl going into the classroom together, then you just leaving them behind."

"They didn't have to come with me." He scoffed.

"Your DNA was found under Alyssa Thomas's nail and I'd imagine if you pulled up your selves we would find some big scratch marks." You were getting annoyed at how cocky he was. Why had you dated him for 2 years.

"Is that it?" His attitude hadn't changed.

"I'll ask you one more time. What did you do to those girls?" Your voice was rising.

"Nothing." He stared at the mirror.

"So you gonna say that you didn't get a little touch in while you guy where together."

"I mean I would but-"

"So you did touch them."

"No- Yes- but not-" He hung his head trying to get his words straight.

"It's a yes or no question." You kept cutting him off and he was getting pissed.

"I did."

"Did you get off on the fact that they were completely under your control? You could mess up their lives in a second."

"I was not controlling-." Bullshit.

"Well you were. You wanna know how I know because you knew that school was important to them. You took that way and there was nothing left."

"I didn't take-."

"You didn't take anything from them? I can guarantee that you took their dignity, self-respect, trust and everything that comes with-." Your voice was getting higher.

"They gave it to me!" He yelled.

"What'd they give you?!" you asked.

"They said I could!"

"Because they were terrified about what was gonna happen to them!"

"That enough." Hotch was at the door. His face didn't look happy. You got up from your seat and walked into the other side of the room.

"How do you know about what he did to the girls?" Hotch asked.

"Because that's what he did to me." You said and watched as the faces of everyone in the room fall. You walked out into the rest of the police station. You made your way to the bathroom, you weren't going to allow yourself to breakdown in front of everyone. You rest your hand on the sink. Taking deep breaths trying to calm yourself. You wipe the tears that dare to fall down.

"y/n?" JJ voice was quiet.

"JJ please go away."

"Just let me in I won't say anything." You trust her word and unlocked the door. She walked in and stood there. She was examining you body language unsure of how to proceed.

"He never raped me. He just made me lose all self-respect and trust in anyone."

"How long did it go on?"

"2 years. The whole time we were together." You chocked on the last words. "I am provably a genius. I have a higher IQ then Spencer Reid for fucks sake. I could get myself out." She didn't say anything. She just walked up and wrapped her arms around you. You get flash backs from the night prior. You busted out crying in her arms again.

"I'm sorry, that's just the last thing I want people to know." She nodded. She gave you a minute to wipe of the muscular that was now smeared under your eyes. You walked out of the bathroom and felt eyes on you. The team hadn't moved from when you left. You ignored all the eyes that asked if you were ok and walked up to Hotch.

"I understand if you want my badge and gun." You stated.

"We'll talk later." He wasn't gonna fire you. Right?

~~~~~

After having a very intense 4 hour interview with Derek Morgan, Ben finally confessed. The second he confessed you left the station because you didn't know what you were going to do. The sun was just starting to set when you made it back to your moms house. The first thing you grabbed when you walked in was a bottle of whine and glass. You sat and the table and poured a glass. It was moments like this when you hated this job. You had about 1/4 of the bottle left when the team knocked on the door. You stood up and you hadn't realized how buzzed you were. You opened the door and watched as they all flooded in, no one looked at you directly but you could feel the worry. You let them all get settled and you walked about to the kitchen.

"Did you open this?" Derek asked and held up the bottle. You nodded took it from him. You watched as he walked to the seat.

"I'm not drunk." You said and didn't look at him.

"Ok." You gave you one last look and walked back into the living room. You stared at the glass that was still kind of full.

"I won't drink the rest of that if I were you." Hotch walked in.

"Good thing your not me." You picked up the glass.

"Being drunk on he job is a federal offense." He gave another reason.

"Well I might not have a job so it's a win win."

"I'm not firing you." Hotch said still standing by the door way.

"Yay me." You closed the bottle and went to go put it back.

"But I do want you to take some time off." You put your hands on the counter and shifted your weight.

"I don't need time off."

"That wasn't a request." Hotch stepped closer so he didn't have to yell.

"Hotch I'm fine."

"And I have no doubt about that, I just want you to get this job out of your mind for a while."

"What do you suggest I do? Do you want me to stay here? I'll lose my mind." You turn to look at him. He turned to make sure that no one was listening.

"3 credits." Was all he said.

"What?" The confusion mixed with the whine was making you annoyed.

"You were 3 credits away from getting your doctorate." He sated and stepping even closer.

"How do you know that?"

"I went back to the campus to give back the student files and I was informed that you had 3 credits left."

"Fuckin Maranda." You whisper mostly to yourself. "Yes, I had 3 credits left. Then I got the job with you with guys and I couldn't do both so I dropped it."

"I want you to go back." Hotch said.

"Why do you care so much?"

"Because you are smarter then Reid but no one will ever know that."

"You guys know that, that's all that matters." You were mad that he was trying to control your life.

"But if you finish and everyone knows."

"Fine." You caved in. He was the last person you wanted to argue with. He nodded his head and turned to leave.

"Can I ask." You started and he turned back around. "Why do you car so much?"

"Because you are the smartest person I know but no will ever know that." He invaded your personal bubble. You stepped back but was met with the counter top. You breath hitched when kept moving closer. You put your hand on his chest. His thumb brushed your check. You didn't know what to say but you knew you didn't want it to stop. You suddenly felt very sober when his face was only an inch any from you.

"How much did you drink?" He whispered.