Suzanne Collins owns all characters! Not me!

Chapter 15

I shut the bedroom door, and it slams to a close. "Oops," I mutter.

"You know you meant to do that." Peeta states. False accusation! "I did not I swear!"

"Whatever you say Katniss." Can I punch my husband? No, I won't punch him, I love him too much. Instead, I walk over to the bed and throw a pillow at him.

"It's on Mellark." He states.

I smile. He runs over to pick up a pillow. I grab one and run in the opposite direction. In the moment, I throw another pillow at him. I don't have anything else to throw or defend. You would think after winning the Games I'd be amazing at strategy. I'm really not though. There is a pillow on the bed, but Peeta has the other three now. Plus he is guarding the bed. I do not like him now, not at all.

"Peeta," I beg.

"Nope." He swings, and it almost hits my head, but I duck. Peeta grabs my waist before I can grab any pillows.

"Not so fast." Just let me go I need to win.

"You are a pain." I spit out at him.

"But you know you love me." He says smirking. I try to wiggle free. He grabs my waist tighter.

"Doesn't mean you aren't a pain," I state. He walks us over to the bed and sits me down.

"I won." Then he kisses me on the lips.

"I'm going to take a quick shower," I announce after we are through.

"Alright." Grabbing some stuff from the dresser. I turn my suit off and set it on the counter. How do I get this stomach thing off? Ugh. I throw undergarments on.

"Peeta?" I walk outside.

"Hmm." He asks looking up at me.

"Can you please get this thing from me?" I ask. He chuckles.

"Sure." He stands there for a minute trying the figure out how to get it off, I guess?

"I don't see the zipper or velcro," Peeta announces. It didn't just disappear! Could it have? It is a Capitol product.

"What?" I ask.

"I don't know I don't see it. Katniss it feels like your skin."

"What?!" I touch my tiny stomach. It feels like my skin. How does this thing feel my skin?!

"Katniss I can't tell it's fake." Peeta sounds perplexed like he is trying to solve a riddle. Though I remember in class, he loved reading the mystery novels.

"Whatever I'm just going to go take a shower." Maybe Cinna made it where no one will realize it even if they see my stomach. It is a good coverup. I have to give him credit. As soon as I walk out Effie is demanding we join them for dinner.

Dauris. He's an avox. He is here. As my avox. He meets my eye then puts the dinner on the table. I can't believe it. Snow put him here just for my benefit I bet. We carry through the meal without me being required to say much. At the end Dauris brings out a small cake that say 'congrats' on it.

"What is this?" I ask curiously. "I'm not sure.." Effie says frowning. I look around the table everyone looks confused.

"There is a note." Cinna notices. He picks up something white from under the cake and hands it to me. 'To Katniss Mellark

From: President Snow' the front reads.

I hold it in between Peeta and I. I'm dreading opening it, but I finally do.

'Congrats on the wedding' it reads. I carefully put it back on the table like its glass. This can't be good. He's warning us.

"What does it say Katniss?" Effie asks studying me carefully. To lie or to not lie? I'm a pathetic liar.

"President Snow congratulated me on my marriage." I say smiling. I meet Haymitch's drunk eyes and they look alarmed. Oh please tell me it is not a warning! Almost anything besides a warning! I really do not want Peeta to die in the arena.

"Well he must be thrilled for his favorite victors, if I do say so myself." Effie says cheerfully. She's back to normal Effie again. I think I liked the not so cheerful Effie better. I don't say another word through the dinner. Our stylists and Effie talk, thankfully.

"I'm going to go," I announce.

"Katniss," Effie calls. What? I turn around.

"The opening ceremonies will be on soon, so if you insist on leaving the table go into the television room." I want to go to sleep. I nod my head and walk into the television room.

I'll just lay on the couch for a quick nap. I go to sleep quickly for once. Someone is on my bed. I open my eyes quickly. I reach for arrows in my quiver, but of course, there is no quiver.

"Calm down.." Peeta comments.

"It's just you."

"Just me? I hoped you'd be more excited to see me." He replies. Not happy to see him? I sit up and scoot towards him.

"Of course I'm happy to see you. I thought you were someone coming to kill me, so I was relieved to find out it was you."

Why is he insecure? He is Peeta, how can he be insecure? You would never guess it if you didn't know him well, but he is insecure especially about me loving him, which is absurd.

"I love you," I whisper in his ear.

"I love you too." He whispers back.

"Can we sit down too?" Cinna says causing us to jump.

"Of course," Peeta responds. The TV turns on, and the show begins.

It is bad enough they dress us all up in costumes and parade us through the streets in chariots on a regular year. Kids in costumes are silly, but aging victors, it turns out, are pitiful. A few who are on the younger side, like Johanna and Finnick, or whose bodies haven't fallen into despair, like Seeder and Brutus, can still manage to maintain a little dignity. But the majority, who are in the clutches of drink or morphine or illness, look grotesque in their costumes.

As it's over, I stand up and thank Cinna and Portia for their amazing work and head off to bed. Effie calls a reminder to meet early for breakfast to work out our training strategy, but her voice sounds hollow again. Poor Effie. She finally had a decent year in the games with Peeta and me, and now it's all broken down into a mess even she can't put a positive spin on. In Capitol terms, I'm guessing this counts as a true tragedy.

I walk down the hall and into my room without looking back. I don't like going to sleep without Peeta, but honestly, I am exhausted. I don't know what has been going on with me lately, but I can't stay up late at all. I have nightmares, though Peeta says I don't scream as much. That I scream at first then I'm just frozen, like he is during nightmares.

I fall asleep thinking of nightmares, which is not a good thing at all.

We are wandering around in the meadow. A little boy who looks strangely familiar with blonde hair and blue eyes, Peeta, and I. For some reason I'm wearing a dress. Is it Reaping day? We all sit on a picnic blanket eating squirrels and bread. The little boy keeps making jokes and laughing at anything. He's so adorable. All of a sudden out nowhere peacekeepers run out of my woods and they shoot. They give the little boy a direct one to the heart and Peeta one to the head. Then Snow comes out stinking of roses wearing a white suit.

I wake up screaming with Peeta trying to calm me down. I'm crying before I even have time to register it. I figured out who the little boy is too, my child. My mind keeps replaying them getting shot. I don't even manage to calm down until about fifteen minutes later.

"Katniss do you want to talk about it?" Peeta asks gently. I nod my head.

"We were in the meadow with our son and Snow had peacekeepers shoot you both. You were both dead Peeta.." I trail off.

"Katniss that won't happen," Peeta claims, playing with my hair.

"Why? Because with your plan you'll never see our child anyway?" I say angrily. Peeta is just stares at me sadly. How could I have said that to him? Why did I say that?! You could persuade him his plan is pointless.. The emotionless part of my head tells me. It doesn't matter I shouldn't have ever said that to him.

"Peeta. I shouldn't have said that I'm so sorry." I say quietly.

"You know, I don't want not to see our kid. I don't want you to be without me. But guess what Katniss?"

"What?" I say meekly.

"I love you, a lot okay? So guess what you aren't going to die. Our kid isn't going to die. But I'll have to die. And I'm okay with that." The way he says it make it sound like the perfect plan. But it's not because it involves my favorite name and least favorite word in the same sentence: Peeta dying. So it is automatically my least favorite plan.

"I'm not okay with that," I say firmly. He sighs.

"Katniss I'm pretty sure I can't persuade you. But look at your stomach when you feel the baby kick. It is our child, a little piece of me that can remind you of me when I'm gone. Maybe that'll persuade you." When I'm gone.. I feel like throwing up.

"No. I've told you about my mom when Dad died haven't I? I'd be like her. I wouldn't be able to do anything. I'd just sit around wishing I was dead.. And if your worried about our child, you won't let it live with its mother like that." Mother? Oh my.. Why is my life like this?

"Katniss I'm just going to go if we are going to lay here arguing the rest of the night," Peeta says starting to get up.

"No!" I scream like a child begging for candy at the candy store. But I'm not a child.

"I'll stop. I won't mention it again. I promise. But I just thought you should know my intentions haven't changed."

"Okay. I haven't changed my intentions either." He says laying back down. I have to change his mind. Since when has my life come to this? Trying to die for my husband. I used to hear people say their life's are screwed up at school, but I bet I'm the queen of a screwed up life. I close my eyes and go to sleep yet again.

I wake up to the shower running which I can only assume to be Peeta. Our augment from midnight flashes crosses my mind, but I shove it to the back of my head. While he's distracted, I need to write some letters. I find a pen and some paper on the nightstand and get to work. I decide to write to Peeta first which is kind of stupid since he's here, but he'll be destroyed more than anyone.

Dear Peeta,

If you get this letter, you'll be pissed at me by now. I know you'll be. I'm so sorry I did this to you. I didn't want to leave you, I promise, on your life. (It's worth way more than mine now.) Don't think that it's your fault I died. It's not I'll be lucky if I can get away from you. I love you Peeta Mellark, with every inch of my being, I don't want to live without you. It's awful that I died like this, but it's for the best. I'm so sorry I killed our baby in the process, but you and I both know I wouldn't have been a good mom.

The last year with you has been amazing. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I left you and I'm so sorry about that, but you need to move on. Fall in love, get married and have kids. It's always been what you wanted. You can still have it too. I want a favor though, tell your kids about me. Tell them how the Capitol cheered for us. Tell them how I hope they shine. And when they're old enough, that I died because of the Games. Oh and I need another one, take care of my family. I'm counting on you for that. I'll always love you.

Love,

Katniss Mellark

This many reads? Oh my flipping God! There's not even that many kids at my middle school! Probably not the high school either! Thanks for reading!Seriously thank you!

~K.D. Howell