My eyelashes flutter open and a yawn escapes my throat as I awaken. Sleepy, I roll over, nearly jumping out of my skin when my face is met with a blonde haired boys.

Sitting up in the hospital bed I can see that he had fallen asleep in the chair beside me, resting his head on the corner of my bed. I awkwardly sit up in bed, not sure what to do about him sleeping on my bed like this.

Im not sure if it was my stomach grumbling or my movement on the bed that woke him up so suddenly. I stare at him as he slowly sits up, stretching out his obviously sore back.

"Why did you stay here all night?" I suddenly blurt out, the curiosity getting the best of me.

Still half asleep I can see him trying to process the question.

"Katniss I could never leave you here alone" he says, his morning voice still groggy.

The words float out of his mouth so naturally it scares me.

Instead of conjuring up something to say back, I just turn away, the pale yellow wall suddenly less awkward then the boy behind me.

Without warning, the door swoops open and in walks the doctor.

"Good news Katniss, you can go home today".

I blankly blink at the man.

"Am I supposed to be happy? Thats hardly good news. This uncomfortable hospital bed is more familiar then wherever I live right now". I say, avoiding eye contact.

I can tell the doctor is trying to find words.

"Well, uh, your memory will return eventually Katniss. We decided that going home will hopefully help trigger some of your memories" he says with a forced and cheeky smile.

My silence is a good enough response for him and the doctor strides out of the room.

"Where do I live?"

The words come out more naturally then expected.

"Uh, the Seam" the boy, Peeta, says with a hint of a smile.

"Doesn't ring a bell" I shrug.

After a bit of waiting around, Peeta trying to make small talk, me shutting it down every time, the doctor walks in with some papers.

"Okay Katniss, just sign on those lines, and you're free to go"

He says it so casually it hurts. As if when I walk out of this building everything will go back to normal.

Instead of saying something of the sorts back, I grab the papers and quickly scribble down Katniss Everdeen.

He gives a nod of thanks and places a stack of what looks like clothes on the end of my bed.

"A girl by the name of Annie dropped these off for you to wear home, said you can keep them".

"Thanks" I state coldly. I slowly stand up, grabbing the clothes before making my way to the bathroom.

While in there, I find a toothbrush and hairbrush. I give a thankful sign before changing and getting ready.

Looking up at myself in the mirror after changing almost makes me laugh. This is so not something I would ever wear. White tight jeans a pink tank top, a grayish scarf, sparkly high heels and enough jewelry for an Entire fashion show hangs and huggs my body. I ditch the uncomfortable shoes, the flashy jewelry, and cover the pink shirt with a dark jacket.

I slip my feet into the hospital slippers and swing the bathroom door open. A toothy smile sneaks onto Peetas face as I walk out.

"You ready?" The blonde asks.

"No" I reply simply before walking towards the door.

He goes to follow me, and I swiftly turn and stop him in his tracks.

"Um, if you dont mind, theres something I really have to do before we leave".

He looks confused but nods and gives a hand motion, "Lead the way".

"No, I mean, I have to do it, alone. I wont be long". Peetas face drops but nods and takes a seat on a nearby chair.

A nervous breath escapes from my lungs as I begin walking towards the stairs. I climb them until I reach the 3rd floor. I scan each door until I reach room 169. My hands begin to tremble.

I slowly reach forward and slowly knock on the door. Without too much of a wait, a man appears through the door, confused as to why a random girl is here.

"Can I helo you?" He asks.

"Yes. Um, a couple days ago.. a surgery was preformed in the room". I blink back the tears and shove down the sorrow.

"The surgery was not a success. Pri-promise Everdeen... she lost her life.." The tears silently spill over. Embarrassed, I quickly wipe them away.

"I wish to see her. I want to see my sister. I want to say... to say goodbye".

The mans face softens.

"I see... she was moved into room 271, floor 4. Im sorry for your loss" he says with a sad smile.

I give a nod of thanks before walking as fast as I can to room 271.

My bottom lip begins to quiver as I near the room.

265..268...270...

271.

I take a long look at the large door. The door that holds my duck.

With a shaky breath and a beating heart I tap on the door. An eternity passes by before someone opens up. A short, kind faced women with a perky ponytail smiles at me.

"And how can I help you sweetie?" She asks.

"I... I want to see my sister. The man who tried to save her said.. said she would be here. Prim. Um, her name is Prim."

The ladies eyes fill with sympathy.

"Are you sur-" "yes. Im sure" I cut her off.

She nods "right this way dear".

I follow her through the depressing little room.

Theres four tables. Each one lays a a body. One has the sheet pulled back, displaying a hollow looking body. A wind of shivers crawl up my spine.

We keep walking to the end table. Before the sheet is lifted off, before I lay my eyes upon her blonde braids, before I read the small name card, I know it's her. I small choke escapes my throat.

The lady-Janice displayed on her shirt-pulls back the fragile sheet.

A sound I can't explain erupts from me.

In front of me lays a sight I vowed I would never see.

There on the table lies the body of the little girl I once knew. Her once rosey cheeks and now pale and almost grey. Her eyes are hollow, stripped of all life. It looks as if a vacuum came along and sucked up all her love and life. I tear my eyes away from the sight, my heart unable to grasp what my eyes saw. A dizziness washes over me and all the saddens, all the pain, suddenly shows more then ever before.

It all seems so pointless.

I know I fell to the ground, but that pain is heavily compared to what my heart is suffering.

The world goes black, but just as quickly as it went, it comes back. The short lady is standing over me, calling and asking if Im alright.

My eyes adjust the the light and my ears bring in sound once again.

I bring my hand to my eyes to rub them, and that's when I feel the tears. The soak my face and cloud my eyes.

"Im alright" I manage to choke out.

Its such an odd lie. Im much less then alright. But I guess thats all I will ever try to be in this lonely world. Alright.

I climb to my feet, rejecting the hand Janice offers. "Thank you but im going to go now".

I go to turn on my feet, but something stops me. I force myself to turn and take one last look at Prim.

Taking a step forward a lean down and Press a kiss to her hollow, cold forehead.

"I love you little duck".

And with that I walk out the door, relying on my memory to guide my back downstairs, for my vision is clouded over.

I walk away from everything I ever knew. Everything I ever loved.

I can faintly see a blonde haired boy, talking to the lady at the front desk.

I slowly walk towards them, and when Peeta turns to see me, his bright smile completely falls.

"Katniss! What happened??" He cries and rushes towards me.

"I had to see her" I whisper.

He tries to pull me into a hug, but I awkwardly reject it.

"Im ready to go" I state simply, shrugging my bag over my shoulder.

"Katniss.... why didn't you tell me? I would have come?"

"I wanted to do it alone. Besides, even if I once knew you, I dont anymore. I dont want a stranger coming to visit my dead sister with me".

I can see the hurt in his eyes, but its not like I could sugar cote it.

"Alright.... lets get you home then" he eventually stumbles out.

We walk to his car, the silence between us so loud my ears hurt.

The two of us then pile into the old car.

It only takes a second for it to start up, and we take off down the winding road to my house. Not my home though. Not anymore at least. Home is where theres love.

A bitter seed was planted in me that day. One that is shoved down somewhere deep, causing the slightest hint of pain to shine through the cage that is constantly trying to conceal it away.