"Where's Prim"

The question still lingering on my tongue long after its spilled out. My heart pounds in my ears as I await the answer. The doctor refuses to make eye contact as he slowly runs his hand through his hair with a heavy sigh.

"Katniss..." he breathes out.

"I dont think thats the best place to sta-"

"Well I do! Tell me where my Prim is!" I cut him off in a broken down voice.

"I'm sorry Katniss, but we have to keep your head calm, which means telling you the lighter things first, and as you heal, the more you will know".

Tears fill my eyes. How could he just not tell me?

"Heartless basterd" I spit. How can he just do this to me? Where is my family.

"Please Katniss, understand that this is to keep your health up. Its not like we have a choice." he says.

"I care more about my family then my health" I state, my eyes glaring into the depths of his.

"Still so stubborn" I suddenly hear the boy, Peeta, say, a smile slightly playing on the corner of his dry lips.

"Im no-" I sigh. "Alright fine. Just hurry up". I snap.

The doctor smiles and begins. He tells me a bunch of boring things that would be typical of me to do, so I tune him out a tad.

"You are taking this information well, Katniss, so now I will get into the heavier things" He says with a gulp.

I look up at him. Finally. Answers.

"On March 15th, 5 years ago, there was a terrible accident. The mining industry blew up. They could never put their finger right on the cause. Katniss, on that day, your father was working there. He was one of the many people to... to loose their life in the explosion".

The room begins to spin around as my vision goes blurry. No. No.

"You're lying... You have to be.." I say weakly as my hands begin to tremble.

"You're lying!!!" I scream, only now noticing the wave of tears rushing down my cheeks.

"I wish I was..." I hear him whisper before silently standing and leaving the room.

I let out a scream of pain as my entire body begins to tremble. The world seems to go silent as I lay in a wave of pain.

Hours pass and the news only sinks in deeper and deeper into my heart. Hes gone. He can't be gone. But he is.

The blonde haired boy doesn't leave the uncomfortable looking chair, not once. He stays beside me.

"W-where's my mother" I finally manage to choke out. The boy should know, right? I apparently knew him somehow.

"Katniss.." he sighs "I dont think im the most qualified person to tell you".

"Do I look like I care?" I ask, turning so my red swollen eyes stare into his crisp blue ones.

With a sigh he says; "After the death of your father, she went.. well, crazy. She completely lost her mind. She quit her job, blocked out the world, and left you and.. Prim.. to fend for yourselves. You took the role as the mother. You provided for them. Not soon later, your mother decided there was too much pain in your old town, so you packed up and moved here. God only knows where she is now".

What? No. My mother was such a loving person... She would never...

"T-thank you". I studder out.

I dont know how to get rid if this pain. However, apparently I have delt with it before, and I'm still here. It must get better with time. If only I had just that. Time.

My father's dead. My mother's insane. Where's my Prim. My little duck has to be alright. Theres no way I lost her too.

Tears steam consistently down my red cheeks. I stare at my hands. There so calloused its hard to imagine them any different.

I let out a small sob before throwing my face into my white pillow, instantly covering it in tears.

"Katniss..." I hear the boy whisper. I suddenly feel a large strong hand, softly being placed on my back and start rubbing circles. Normally, I would shrug off anything of the sorts, but for once I will allow myself to let my walls down, and feel badly for myself. But I can't. I have to be strong for Prim.

I sit up on the hospital bed, the sudden swift movement causing a pounding headache to strongly return.

"Where's the bathroom" I whisper, feeling very weak, like a small child.

"Theres one just around the corner, to your left" the boy kindly responded.

I slowly swing my feet and land them on the cold tile beneath me. Giving him a nod of thanks, I slowly stand, only to fall back on to the bed.

"Here.." The boy says and links his arm with mine.

"I dont need help". I state coldly. I don't want to feel weaker then I already do.

Shrugging him off, I stand again, this time making it to the door before the feeling of light headed and dizziness overtakes my head. Clutching on the wall for support I stand there, waiting for it to pass. Sure enough it does, and without hesitation I stride into the bathroom, silently clicking the door shut behind me. When I turn to the mirror I gasp. This is not the girl who usually looks back at me in the mirror. This is a mature version of me, like I have jumped into the future. I feel the part I look however. I dont feel like the younger me. As if I have felt like this for years. Which apparently I have. 4 years to be exact. I watch the silent tears pool at my eyes, then spill over and fall down my cheeks like rain, then with a splash, land in the sink and find a path, which always ends in the little drain hole.

Is that just like my life? Maybe anyone's life. It starts out fine, but its never perfect. There's always that dark part of everyone's life. I guess mine is right now.

I slowly stand up taller, straightening my sore back. How did I end up here? The broken down girl with a bandage around her head staring back at me doesn't respond. I wipe away my tears and burst through the bathroom door.

"I need to see my sister" I demand.

"Katniss the doctors said you ha-" "I dont give a damn what those doctors said. How can you keep her from me? Im locked up here, with people I dont know, telling me my family's dead" I say, choking up at the end.

The boy runs his hand through the ruffles of curls upon his head.

"Alright. Have a seat".

Whoa it was that easy. I expected some sort of fight. No complaints.

I do as I'm told and slowly inch myself on to the uncomfortable hospital bed.

"Oh god where do I start.." I hear him mumble to himself.

"Just... start with when I moved here" I manage to stumble out.

With a nod the boy begins talking, rather slowly. "When you first moved here with your mother and Prim, I instantly noticed you.." he talks about how I didn't fit in, all that jazz that was pretty much like my old school.

"-then I finally got the nerve to ask you out. Surprisingly, to me at least, you.. you said yes. Katniss, we have been dating for 9 months now.." he says slowly, fresh tears forming in his electric blue eyes.

I let out a small gasp.

"...Im so sorry..." I say honestly, now making my hands my focus point. Imagine loving someone, then they suddenly dont even know your name.

"Katniss, its not your fault. Please dont say sorry" he says with a weak smile.

I give a sad nod before letting him continue.

"This is where it gets hard to say. Oh Kat, I dont even know how to say it.." The boy says with a sob.

"Just spit it out. I can handle it". Im so terrible at reassuring people.

"But thats the thing. You see, as strong as you are, I dont think you can handle this one. But you have to know" he says slowly with sadness and concern splattered across his eyes.

As I mentally prepare myself-for god only knows what-he speaks.

"Just promise me one thing. Dont do anything crazy, and please.. dont do what your mother did. I need you Katniss. And I know that you dont even know me, but that will never stop me from loving you".

What on earth is he talking about? Turn into my mother?

Speechless, I give a slight nod, urging him to continue.

With a nervous sigh he begins. "Two nights ago, you were home alone. The phone rang and you expected it to be Prim. Rue was on the other line frantically begging you to come to the park. You knew something terrible was going on, so you ran over there. I saw you running so I tried to catch up. You're much faster then me, so of course you got there first. When you arrived... there was prim and Rue.. and a man with a gun" -wait who's Rue?- "No one had got hurt up to that point. You then proceeded to stand between the girls and the man. The man shot the gun at Prim, and you tried to jump in front of her, but it just missed you. After running to Prims side, he shot at her again. This time when you jumped in front of her, you did block it. You may notice the bandage on your stomach. You fell to the ground, and when you landed, your head hit a rock. Thats what caused you to loose your memory. After falling unconscious, Prim tried to go to you but.....but the man shot Prim again. This time in the heart" -no no no no..- "Katniss, Prim has been in surgery for the past 5 hours.. they said they dont think she's going to make it..".

My vision goes black as I jump off the bed. "YOU'RE LYING!!!!" I scream. No. Not my little duck. I shove him to the side and start sprinting away from him. From everything.

"Where's Primrose Everdeens surgery room!" I shout at the front desk.

Startled, the plump clerk chirps out "3rd floor, room 169, but-" I dont have time to hear what she has to say as I sprint for the elevator. No, no time. Running as fast as my legs will carry me, I begin to climb the stairs. Ascending them two steps at a time, I reach the 3rd floor.

I begin instantly dashing down the hall, my vision clouded over with tears. Not soon enough, I reach room 169.

Im not sure what my plan was going to be once I got here, but it currently exists of my repeatedly knocking on the door.

Not soon after a doctor looking man sticks his head out the door, looks at me, then comes into the hallway, closing the door behind him.

"um, Can I help you?" he asks, rather confused.

"Yes. My..my little sister is in there.. having surgery. Is-is she alright?" I stumble out through tears and lack of breathing.

"Oh, you must be Katniss Everdeen. I believe you should not be out of your hospital room, but I would be a monster to keep this from you. Katniss, the surgery ended around an hour ago. I-"

"Let me see her!!!" U happily chear, my heartbroken tears turning to thankful ones.

I go to push past him into the room to see my prim, oh god im so happy shes safe. Suddenly, the surgeon doctor person stops me.

"No Katniss, you see, it ended, well, because..." he lets out a heavy sigh. "Because... Oh goodness dear, Im so sorry for your loss. The surgery was a fail. It was too late. We couldn't save her. We tri-" The rest of what hes saying becomes a blur. No. This cant be right.

"No". I whisper. "NO!!" I suddenly scream, the horror of realization sinking deeper into me.

My vision becomes blurry with tears as a back away into the wall. My head starts pounding and I can just make out that boy, Peeta, calling out my name.

With pain trembling throughout my body, I roughly push past the doctor, and start sprinting down the hall. I crash into the boy, but that doesn't even make me flinch. Down the stairs I keep running. Running is all I can do. I burst out the front hospital doors, I can tell there's people running after me. My bare feet cut into the gravel. I dont know where I am, or where I'm going, but I hope it takes a long time to get there.

The wind pushes the wet hair away from my tear soaked face as I keep running. I dont loose my breath, nor do I feel the sharp rocks slicing my feet open with every heart piercing step. Eventually, I find myself at the corner of some woods. Perfect. Diving under the rotting wooden fence, I continue to sprint through the dark cold woods. I sprint away from reality. Maybe if I run fast enough, I can run all the way back home. To where my father has just brought his game home, where Prim would be milking her goat, and I would be helping mother with dinner. All while father sings.

His soft words ring in my ears as I run. "Im coming home, papa". I whisper to myself.

Are you, are you Coming to the tree Where they strung up a man they say murdered three. Strange things did happen here No stranger would it be If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.

Are you, are you Coming to the tree Where the dead man called out for his love to flee. Strange things did happen here No stranger would it be If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.

Are you, are you Coming to the tree Where I told you to run so we’d both be free. Strange things did happen here No stranger would it be If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.

Are you, are you Coming to the tree Wear a necklace of rope, side by side with me. Strange things did happen here No stranger would it be If we met up at midnight in the hanging tree.

After what feels to be minutes, but has been hours, I come to a halt. My feet are sliced up at bleeding, the branches have cut my face as I have ran, and my hand are covered in deep cuts.

Do I care?

No.

My entire being crumples down on to a large rock. The pain is unbearable. Everything I love, everything I live for, gone.

I let out all the pain inside me in one loud ear piercing scream. I start uncontrollably sobbing, my entire body shaking with horror. I can feel the pain throbbing against my chest. I want to tear in out of me. I have never felt this before.

And I vow to never feel it again.