"Throughout my life, I've been given many mixed opinions, and most of them have been about love." Taking a deep breath I glance up for a split second before focusing on the petals that line the table. "I have been told love is the greatest thing you can experience in your life. How it can truly make you wonder about you, about your experiences before it and how it can be one of a unique feeling." Glancing to my left I see her hand, the rings on her finger so bright. I can feel her smile, how it is glowing like his will be. "Yet I have also been told it is tough, how sometimes you'll endure so much heartbreak to just have this concept within your grasp."

Pausing for breath, I try to fight the nerves which I can feel within me, sparking one another until I stop looking at the flower arrangements before me and look to him. He has faith in me, I can tell in his smile and his eye contact never faltering. My eyes lock with his as I continue my speech.

"I've been through both like many of us have but, that doesn't stop us. It certainly didn't stop my sister," With my free hand, she takes a hold of mine squeezing it tightly. "whom I am proud to stand next to today, as she sits down having found love with her husband." I can see him wrap his arm around her, his arm slipping underneath her vail. "The two of them have grasped at love and tied it down between them and are lucky to have an inseparable bond."

Everyone in front of me smiles, all eyes on me but I can only look at his. "You can see it in their eyes as they sparkle like the diamond Zoe has on her finger. Don't lie, you've all noticed and trust me, it's difficult not to." They all let out a soft chuckle before I continue, gaining confidence as I go. "Zoe and Alfie have a love many of us dream about, everyone knows it. Not just those in this room but the millions of fans who can be considered apart of this family, the Sugg- Deyes whom I am lucky to be a part of." Clearing my throat I reach down for my glass of champagne. "So, if you would like to raise a glass to the new Mr and Mrs Alfie Deyes, for a long and happy marriage filled with the love they deserve." I hold up my glass and everyone follows, I hear applause as I take my seat back next to Zoe who wiped away a stray tear before hugging me tightly.

"You are remarkable, do you know that?" She chuckled into my ear and I refused to let go.

Struggling to get my bracelet out of her veil Alfie assists, chuckling at the sight. "Well, it wouldn't be the first time." I shrugged it off as I could see him amongst everyone else on that table, still clapping and his contact with refuses to falter.

Following the speeches, Alfie stands, helping Zoe get out of her chair. I help to adjust Zoe's dress ensuring she doesn't trip as she removes her heels. The two of them, hand in hand walk around to the centre of the room as a slow song plays, filling the room with a hushed awe.

Everyone is watching them, how they're hands are tightly wrapped around each other just to be more intimate, personal even. Various photos were taken of the two of them as the song came to a close and they shared a kiss, applause erupted from family and friends as they remained tangled together whilst couples made their way to the floor to join in as the music became more upbeat.

I could clearly see Zoe's expression. One full of wonder and happiness as she dances with her husband, someone she truly loves. Alfie reflected the same look, how happy he was that she had said yes last year, how they were lucky enough to come to Greece to share their special day in a place they loved.

After reflecting on the love the two shared I stood up, feeling a tear roll down my cheek without me fully realising. I placed Zoe's heels on her chair and walk outside, past the dance floor and through the sheer drapes.

Along the patio I allow the evening sea breeze to filter through my hair, picking the perfect curls up. Reaching down I slip my heels off as I walk further ahead towards the rocky wall that separates the venue from the beach. Looking down I place them on the wall so I can jump down with ease.

As I jump my mind flashes back to how I first met Jack, the distant years where everything has become a blur of heartbreak, heartache and overcoming the things that held me back for far too long. My feet crumble beneath the sand, my toes burying into the warmth under my chiffon lilac ombre dress. I lift the bottom of it up so I can walk without the paranoia of ripping it, knowing Zoe put way too much time into finding dresses we would all love to have one break as I wandered off.

Getting closer to the shower I can feel the sand becoming damper as the waves ripple towards me, my dress blowing like my hair in the stronger breeze. I close my eyes, listening to the crashing of waves as the sunset warm my face. Evenings are the best part of the day. As in the evening, you know that tomorrow is a new day and new opportunities await.

I reach up and take one of the flowers out from my hair and place it into the sand and bent down to scribble my name into the damp sand knowing it will soon disappear, be swept away into the unknown. Right now I don't want to return to civilisation, this feeling of pure bliss on a beach is all I want. I want to stay in the warmth of being here in the now, not being in the zoo or worrying about everyone on YouTube. Just to have a few more minutes of bliss is all I want.

My dreamy thoughts are interrupted when I hear footsteps crunch in the sand behind me. Turning my head I see him as he removes his jacket, throwing it onto the sand behind him where his shoes and socks lay. He begins to roll his trousers up before standing next to me, holding a bottle and two glasses up to me with a smile. "What are you doing?" I ask as he remains quiet, focusing on the crashing of the waves, only stopping to put down the glasses and bottle.

"We are going in." He said with a smile, indicating to the water. I shook my head vigorously.

"Do you know how much this dress costs?" I asked him completely astounded at his proposition.

"Of course I don't and neither do you." I roll my eyes in response, crossing my arms. "But I still want to go in there, with you." He gave me that all-knowing look, the one he gave me when he wanted to go to a theme park, or when I took him to the zoo to meet Maddie. A look that said with all certainty that he was reliable, and I could put all of my trust in him.

All I did was nod as he bent down and picked me up, our faces were close together as I wrapped my arms around him squealing as he splashed into the water, exclaiming about the sensation in his feet. He jumped around still holding me tightly and I decided he couldn't do this alone.

"You can let go," I mumbled into his ear I could see him flinch and feel something go through him.

"I don't want to ever let go." We locked eyes as I released my arms, he slowly let go of my legs as I dropped down and held my dress, letting the refreshing water cover my ankles.

We continued to laugh about like old times, playing and then slowly made our way out and back to the beach. He picked up his jacket and laid it on the dry sand, indicating for me to sit down with him. As we sat down it was a peaceful silence; with music playing in faintly in the background as we faced the sunset. Various shades of orange filled the sky with hints of pink breaking through the clouds, knowing soon it would be replaced by a mixture of purples and blues, with swirls of silver-spotted around us.

"Ali." He spoke up and I lost my focus with the sky and turned to face him, he looked flustered the same look he had when we went on that 'date' back in the worst of times. "Can we talk about something?" He asked with a shaky voice, I nodded, not wanting to interrupt him in this whatever the matter may be. "You know, it's weird to think that five years ago I never knew of your existence." He stated as he poured out two glasses of champagne, passing one to me which I gratefully excepted.

"Is that so?" I chuckled and I could see a change in him, he tensed slightly before lowering the glass from his lips.

"Now it's as if I can't go a day without thinking about you, or wanting to see you or spend time with you, or to see a silly photo of you. For your laugh to fill the room and to hear you talk, it makes me feel lighter than air itself-" He paused as I blankly stared at him raising my eyebrow.

"Hate to burst your bubble but air isn't light." He stopped me by placing one of his fingers against my lips, as a barrier to stop me from interrupting anymore.

"For once Ali, just shut up and allow yourself to listen." He spoke sincerely and I did as he asked, he removed his finger and continued his point. "Hearing you talk makes me glad that I know you, even when you mutter complete nonsense so intensely to yourself or state silly facts or think aloud it makes me feel something. Something so new and strange that there is no true description to provide you with, I get... tingly." I fought back a chuckle as he said tingly, but remained silent so he could finish since I was so deep into his speech, focusing on his pronunciation and facial expressions. "And your eyes, I could just stare at them all day long, I know exactly what colour they are without looking, go on test me." He held his hands over his eyes and I chuckled, seeing him act like the big child he has inside of him.

"Okay, what colour are my eyes?" I asked politely, finally taking a deserved sip of my drink, feeling the sharp warmth flow down my throat.

"They contrast, you have this dark ivy in the outer iris, with this lighter shade with specks of brown towards the centre; so in-depth and peculiar, just like you. I wouldn't tire of looking at them all day, not once. If someone asked me what I would do differently in these past four years, some may expect me to say about me travelling more or doing more for my fans but no instead I would've met you sooner. A lot sooner so I could've learnt more about you, learnt so much more than I already do and taken you to so many amazing places Ali. I would've loved to see you travel, to experience your ups and downs first hand, be the one to help you to hold you." He stopped, taking a long sip at his drink, leaving me speechless.

Never before have I heard him talk so in depth or in such a passionate way, especially not about a person, not even YouTube or his fans, not even pizza. "What are you trying to say Caspar?" I asked still in complete awe about all he said, all of it being about me.

He moved closer, pulling me in to minimize the space between us, the sound of the waves became stronger as the sky began to change colour, the swirls of orange were being replaced by purples and I could see the stars peaking through. "I'm saying that you Alison Grace Mitchell Sugg are someone I would change the past five years for, and I think, actually I'm certain that I l-" I cut him off by kissing him, as soon as our lips connected it was instant. The feeling of sparks inside of me erupting, going full speed within me almost celebrating that this finally happened, that these suppressed feelings no longer have to be contained or entrapped, that I have finally had the chance to reveal how I truly feel through one simple intimate action. As we both pulled away I felt my cheeks heating up and both of us became very nervous around each other, I stood up first, brushing off any sand and taking one last sip of my drink.

"We should head back inside, wouldn't want to miss anything else." I said as he jumped up, flapping his jacket off before putting it back on, I glanced back to the waves, the tide coming in and where I had once written my name would now have washed away.

As we approached the doors I came to a halt, picking up my heels and slipping them back on and smoothing my dress down, Caspar glanced over to me. "What?" I asked as I readjusted my hair from behind me and ensured my locket was in the right place, thinking how proud my family would've been of me today if they were alive to witness all that I have achieved.

He stood there, looking at me entirely for who I am, before lowering his head and scratching the back of his neck. "Nothing you just look, well you look beautiful." He let out a nervous chuckle and I moved closer to him, placing my hand into his, locking eyes and smiling as he opened the door for the both of us to enter.

The music began to fill my ears replacing the soft sounds of the waves crashing and I felt Caspar squeeze my hand in a reassuring manner, we both walked together to his table where he was based on with some of the others, including Oli and Louise who were now up and dancing along with many of the YouTube crew. Eventually, after having one or two more drinks we both agreed to dance, so Caspar led the way to the floor and we began to dance like idiots, he bent down and removed my heels for me so I could dance with more ease and stupidity. In between songs, I saw Zoe wave and eventually, she came over to the two of us, still looking flawless as she did this morning. "Come on I'm going to throw the bouquet!" She squealed still full of excitement and energy, trying to pull me away much to my disapproval. Caspar motioned for me to go, laughing as I flipped him off for making me do this.

Zoe stood in front of everyone as the space was cleared, she turned away and I stood by the side of everyone not caring too much, I'm at my sisters wedding and I don't want to make it all cliche or act like it had been rigged. Before I knew it I heard screams and saw something hurtling towards me at full speed followed by a sharp sensation flow through my head and me gripping onto something. As I adjusted my eyes I saw the bouquet in my hands, and looks of shock on everyone's faces including my own as I came to my senses. All eyes darted around waiting for me to respond, "Oh right, well here you go." I laughed it off passing it to one of the little girls dressed in a yellow dress with a big bow on the back of her dress, she giggled and hugged me and the room filled with claps as I got up and walked away back to Caspar.

"You are just full of surprises tonight aren't you." He laughed as I pulled a sad face, before joining him in laughing. A slow song began to play as couples made their way to the floor for the last few songs before the bride and groom depart for the evening. "Come on, you've got to." He whined as we walked back to the dance floor.

I felt strangely embarrassed to dance like this, "But I don't know how, I can only do stupid dance moves I never took it seriously." I mumbled and he brought his hands to mine, putting my arms around his neck and I connected my hands together, already closing the distance between us and he placed his arms around my waist.

It was as if we fitted together like two jigsaw pieces, moulded together after many attempts to fitting other pieces together or forcing other pieces just to make a clear picture. We began to sway and I looked around seeing various couples replicating us standing here so peacefully. "Are you alright Ali?" Caspar asked taking me out of my thoughts.

"For once, I can say I am." I went to continue but the song ended and we were all motioned to go outside to see the fireworks display on the beach, Zoe and Alfie walked out first as Alfie helped Zoe down to the beach holding her heels and dress as she went, being a gentleman followed by various people and I could hear children excitedly cheering. We both walked out and stood in the sand, Caspar wrapped his arm around me as the display started.

From here I could see peoples faces light up from the fireworks, looks of awe and excitement, but especially in Zoe's face, it was perfect. Everything had worked out as she had always wanted, that this was the finishing touch and she couldn't seem more like a princess who had received her happily ever after. I rested my head against Caspar's chest, allowing him to hold me tightly as I sighed unintentionally. "Ali, are you sure you're alright?" He asked again, slightly concerned this time.

"Like I said before, I can say with honesty that I am. Everything feels normal, peaceful." I pause as I lightly run my fingers over the detailing on my locket, and Caspar smiles sweetly. "I'm not living in a state of paranoia or fear of myself or of these thoughts anymore. I feel I can lead a normal life and there's someone I really need to thank for that." I stopped with a smile slowly but surely forming on my face.

Caspar released me so I could face him, a smug expression on his face. "And who might this handsome someone be?" He laughed and I rolled my eyes.

"Oli of course!" I said enthusiastically as I nudged Caspar, with a wide smile that was contagious as his frown disappeared and resembled a smile like mine instead. We moved closer again and he continued to hug me, I looked back up at the fireworks and then over to my sister once more who was looking right back at me with tears in her eyes, I saw her mouth a love you and I reciprocated the action as she wrapped herself around Alfie tightly. "I have the most wonderful person to thank," I started again locking my eyes with him as I wrapped my arms around his neck, turning away from the fireworks entirely, him being the only magnificent view I want to take in. "and that is you Caspar Lee, I am certain too that I lo-" He cut me off with another kiss, as the sound of the fireworks continued to sound and the children's cheers became more obvious, but one subtle sound I continued to focus on was the crashing of the waves. It was that moment then that I felt everything falling into place.

I'm Ali.

You may know of my siblings, Joe and Zoe Sugg, well now Zoe Sugg- Deyes.

Yes, you read correctly, no need to double check I'm not lying, you know me now as well as my siblings, I am the third Sugg sibling. The one who was hidden away from this limelight through choice, some of you may have seen the video we published together as a family, revealing the truth behind the camera and what happens outside of YouTube.

I'm just me Ali, a girl who didn't want to follow in her siblings footsteps, instead I chose to help in other ways; I helped edit, film and prepare things for my siblings when I was around with them, when I wasn't which was most of the time I work in Exmoor zoo, I get to work with my best friend Jim who is now engaged to my best friend Jess, something I never thought I would be saying out loud or ever considered before all of this happened.

I'm different from both of my siblings, in terms of physical attributes and genetically. I was adopted, my name is Ali Grace Mitchell Sugg, and I learnt that I had a brother all this time, Peter whom is very dear to me and I got to be the maid of honour at his and his husband, Masons wedding last Christmas, we meet up every once in a while to discuss anything, like siblings do, it felt as if a whole new door had been opened for me that I thought would remain locked forever.