Dan sat me down in front of him in the living room, a cup of tea in hand. I focused on the steam that rose from it as he examined my face, the blank expression I wore and was unable to part with. He let out a small sigh, one he tried to mask with his hand as he rubbed his face in frustration but more probable to be tiredness. My mind remained blank, unable to process how I truly got here. Of all the places I could've gone I came here, but why?

"What happened Ali?" He sounded full of empathy, unsure how else to react whilst I held my warm mug in my grip, trying not to meet his gaze.

Staying quiet was easy for me, I had gotten used to my own company and silence. Although to me silence was second nature Dan remained fidgety. He kept standing up causing the floorboards to creak with angst much like the sort that was building up in this small space. His words hung in the air as I tried to distract my mind from the dull ache that crossed my face, I glance between varying objects displayed that remain bright and consistent unlike everything I've seen until now.

"Zoe, Marcus. Disowned. Fight." I mumbled the same few words unaware of how nonsensical they'd be for Dan who leaned in to hear me. My eyes began to water and my vision blurred on the mug of tea, the mug seemed distorted until I blinked. A searing pain crossed my cheek as the salty water explored the mark she left, a reminder of the wrong I'd done to them all.

His hands on my drink as they began to shake, whimpers sounded from me as I struggled to hold it all in. For too long I'd been quiet, hours I'd suppressed my emotions but the second I'm here I've allowed my walls to break down. I could vaguely feel his hands holding mine lightly, blood dried around my palms where I dug my nails in; why do I do this? Wincing he turns my palms up, exposing them. A light sigh came from him as he stood up whilst I kept my head low. "Come on Ali." He spoke with sincerity which made me want to scream, I didn't want pity. I just wanted someone.

I was hesitantly led into a bathroom where I sat on the toilet seat lid whilst he carefully cleaned my hands. The faint pain making me bit my lower lip and avoid his caring glances. "Can I try and clean your cut?" More hesitance and risk entered his tone. I broke my gaze with my muddy shoes and to his brown eyes, how they shone in this low light with care and I found myself enticed, unaware of my nod.

Moving closer to me his face was inches in front of mine. I was able to see the specks in his eyes, the overgrown eyebrow hairs hidden beneath his brunette fringe. As he cleaned my face I raised my hand and moved his fringe out of his eye, smiling as I did. A light shade of pink crossed his cheek making me smile ever so slightly. "Good to know you've got a smile in there somewhere." He muttered, only just loud enough for me to hear even in this close proximity.

Once the cuts were cleaned and the remains of dried blood had been erased leaving the bare mark I walked away into the open space where I was less confined. I found myself lying against the floor, staring at the high ceiling with its blank slate allowing my mind to wander and replay the last few hours over and over again. "We should've put you in the nut house when we found out! Those pills do nothing you hear me?" Even now I can hear her words piercing into my memory all over again. The pure rage that came over her unlike anything I'd ever witnessed. Lifting my hands up I covered my eyes and shut my eyes tightly until I could see squiggles in the darkness.

"Make it stop. Make it stop." I could barely hear myself even though it felt like my hands were no longer over my ears. My own speech drowned out by their harsh words along with others I didn't recognise. More pain crossed my cheeks as I felt tears trickle across them and towards my ears, the sensation unusual and unwelcoming.

A pair of hands forcefully lifted me upright and I fell into his chest. I was sobbing now, the ugly groans and hiccups, not the Princess cries you see or convince yourself with. In reality we all cry in an ugly way, it's just a fact about us. We aren't meant to look pretty when we are vulnerable, it has no meaning. Why would we wish to look pretty at our lowest moments?

My whole body ached. The thumping of my heart felt heavier with each beat. Every voice was screaming over the top of the other one, wanting to pipe in with something awful to inform me of. "Ali? I will not let you go." His voice sounded over all of them. It was as if I was snapped out of it, that the whirlwind was diminishing.

Opening my eyes I blinked rapidly as I focused back on him. His soft face and warm eyes that melt the heaviness inside of me, numb the aches that spread, quieten the voices for a moment allowing peace to flood my system. "Is this just another trick?" Tilting my head I don't dare lose my lock on his eyes.

I can see something cross them, the glimmer fade. "What are you on about Ali?" Pure confused etches his tone as his voice rises. By now I know people, I know anyone can act. Give them an audience and they'll give you the best they got. Just so happens to be for Dan his audience is of one, me.

"You know perfectly well, Dan. Are you just tricking me like they all have? That anyone I think I can trust will just betray me and use me?" My own voice starts to crack as I power through, saying what is needed to be said.

"Ali never." His hands are now on my shoulders, holding them tight. "I'd never hurt you. Please know that. I won't ever manipulate you, hurt you, make you upset like that I mean sure you'll cry at TV and the animals at work but hey that happens." He sighs, his rambles making me chuckle silently. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm not just a piece in this game that is happening. You can trust me whole heartedly, Phil too. He'd say the same if he were here."

"Where's Phil?" I'd spaced out entirely, not even aware of the vacant laughter and warm hugs.

"I killed him." He shrugged and I couldn't help but laugh full heartedly, it was like I was drunk. "Nah he's visiting family." Nodding along the apartment felt bigger, the space not as confining as it initially felt. "So? Want to talk now?"

Slowly I nodded, but moved into his chest, leaning against it as he held me in his arms. "In the morning?" Yawning as I spoke he stroked my hair, moving it out of my face. Flickering my eyes I could see his soft smile aimed at me.

"Let's get you to bed Ali." Helping me up I could barely stand, exhaustion more apparent than I had estimated. Walking me to his room I collapsed onto his bed, his scent stitched into the fabric slowly lacing around my own clothes. "Do you want to borrow a top or something?" All his usual confidence had melted away, a less cocky and a shy, caring persona was before me.

Forcing myself to sit up right I rubbed my eyes, all the makeup had crumbled away on the train anyway, no remains. "Sorry for this Dan." I mumbled as I fiddled with my nails, finding a distraction as always.

"Ali," He was now knelt before me with wide eyes. "you aren't a problem, in fact I'm glad you're here. Despite the terrible circumstances I like spending time with you." A small smile crossed his face as he locked his gaze with mine before turning around and grabbing me something. "I'll wait outside." He mumbled and quickly walked, being sure the door closed behind him.

His top was comfortable, too big but it didn't make me feel like I was lost in a solar system printed on this top. Walking towards the door with my clothes in hand I opened it to find him leaning against it and fall backwards with a thump. Now lying by my feet I couldn't help but laugh and he did too. "Well, that's just another fail to add to my ongoing list." He smiled to me as he got to his feet. "Suits you." He motioned to the top and I did a twirl for him, posing as I walked out of the room.

As I got to the living room the floor felt icy beneath my bare feet, goosebumps now wrapping themselves around my arms. "I'll just lie on here, can you wake me once you get up?" I turned to see him shaking his head, making me feel uneasy.

"No no, you can't sleep here. Take my room honestly." He ushered me without protest to his room, "I'll take Phils room for tonight. I'm not far if you need me." Closing the door for me I had to open it. The dark space being too much for me to manage. In complete darkness bad thoughts swirl and grow, become more deadly.

"Dan?" I call out and immediately he is back, standing still I wrap my arms tightly around his neck, refusing to let go. A moment later he reacted, his arms placed on my lower back as I rested my head in the crook of his neck. "Thank you." I mumbled into his neck as I slowly let go, feeling cold without his embrace as he slowly walked away, a small dimpled smile worn as he went.

Now alone in the dark my body craved sleep, but my mind craved answers. I sat in the middle of the bed until my eyes drooped, unable to control the urge to stay open. Closing them I fell backwards, landing on the cushioned clouds.

Everything was dully lit, fairy lights blurred in the background before me as I sat with my laptop perched on my lap as I gripped at my mug of tea. Someone was sat next to me but remained out of my view, my head refused to turn and remained locked on the screen. "Good evening everyone, today I want to talk about a topic that's been circulating for a while." Zoe sat with makeup streaked down her face but her angelic voice still apparent. I could see her glancing past the viewfinder constantly and pausing before she spoke, immediately I sensed it was unedited. "I never normally do live streams but there are a couple of things I want to clear up. One, Ali Sugg or whoever she is and calls herself is not our sister. That video was a prank gone wrong." She said with such a blunt nature, her eyes boring into the lens. My heart began to break as her blue eyes became ice, paralysing me.

"Secondly Alfie Deyes is the best boyfriend in the world?" Someone sounded from behind the camera causing Zoe to laugh. As if on cue he sat down next to her, hugging her tightly with that evil intent hidden in his eyes. "Sorry guys for what you've heard, Ali was just some twisted nutjob." They both laugh and imitate me screaming and pulling at my hair.

I can barely believe my eyes, what is this? Some twisted game? "Not fun is it?" The person next to me sounded yet out of sight. "See how much it hurts? When you mess with people who are clearly in love, you don't do that Ali. You will only end up hurting yourself more." I knew the voice, but no matter how much I tried to force my head my eyes remained focused on Alfie and Zoe still acting like me on my lowest of days, mumbling nonsense.

"Then why did you hurt me Caspar? You knew how I felt didn't you?" I remained blunt, kept to the point. Whatever was happening it had to be said.

A light chuckle sounded and he clapped. "How could I not? I hurt you, you retaliate and cause others more harm but it always comes back to you." He spoke with confidence as if he knew my every move. "Might as well end it now Ali, whilst you have some dignity left." The screen began to flicker, Zoe and Alfie changing.

From the two of them laughing all I could see was them fighting. Alfie had his hands around Zoe's neck one minute and the next they returned to laughing. The scene kept switching, becoming more contorted and disturbing as the seconds went by. "Make it stop! Make it stop!" I screamed as I tried to blink but it failed me, my own system had shut down.

I could hear my own heartbeat as the laughter on the screen diminished, all that was left was Alfie looking straight at me, Zoe now out of shot, maybe out for good. "You're next Ali."

Screaming I sat upright, sweat causing my hair to cling to my forehead. Whimpering loudly I glanced around for a form of light until one crept through the doorway. Quickly I ran towards it, exposing myself to more of it allowing me to feel less vulnerable. "Ali, Ali it's me!" Dan shouted as I remained panicked, unsure what to do I grabbed onto him, burying my head into his chest.

"I've got you, I've got you." He rubbed my back as the top clung to it tightly, "You'll be alright."

If only that could be true.