Unable to control the twiddling of my thumbs I focused on the hum of the train on the tracks along with the bumps it encountered as it moved nearer to our destination. My entire body felt dirty, the clothes I wore didn't feel fresh enough despite how much I scrubbed away at my skin last night after my drinks with Caspar. His words still replayed in my mind, the things he said about me I struggled to part with no matter how much I tried to shut it all out.

I have his other words stored, ready to be used against him. In just a matter of hours everything will be over, or at least fall apart for those who caused this to begin with. The scenes around me change as the train comes to a halt, the doors open and quickly like many others we rush to exit. In my grip I hold onto the laptop bag, inside containing everything I need, require even to explain it all. Without all of this my argument ceases to nothing.

Nerves get the better of me as the uber nears Zoe's house, we agreed to meet back at her house knowing our time in London was limited. That and Alfie had business in London, what business I can only assume is false. I asked Marcus to join us and thankfully, he complied. As I stood by the large gates I felt like a child going to an orphanage, the rain began to lightly fall only adding to my sobre mood.

Before I knew it the gates opened and I traced the brief walk alone, hearing the wetness tug at my shoes, leaving temporary marks of the pattern that laced my soles. As I got to the door it felt like a barrier, inside there was only light, complete joy; somewhere I knew I didn't belong. The door opened and I was immediately embraced with such care, I felt my heart sink knowing this would be temporary, soon it would be a distant memory between us.

"God Ali, you're freezing!" Zoe exclaimed as she took my damp jacket off of me and tried to take the case but I remained defensive and held it to my chest. Ignoring my action she continued to walk into the living room where Marcus was sat and as he saw me a smile formed on his face and he too hugged me tightly.

We all spoke for a bit about the usual sort of thing, but mainly about how odd it was to have Marcus, considering he has never met me. I remained quiet, I couldn't help it. The weight and pressure I had built up on myself was crumbling around me as Zoe left the room to get me a cup of tea, I couldn't hold it back much longer, I wouldn't.

"So, how is it then?" Marcus piped up and I just glanced over to him, a perplexed look etched into my face. "Being known?" He drew his words out as if I were an imbecile.

Shifting in the mountain of cushions the ability to relax was far from my mind, "It's different." I stated, but knew he wanted to know more as he rested his arms across his legs, his torso leaning forward. "I mean, it's not something I can get used to. People know me now, they know of my name, my identity. Who knows how long it'll be until I get accused of something malicious or being a fake." Taking a breath I can see how intently he is listening, I take this opportunity to lock eyes with him. "Everyone who is a fake or a liar or a cheat gets found out eventually, just a matter of time."

He nods in agreement as Zoe comes back in, unaware of our entire conversation or the real meaning behind my words. Passing me my drink Zoe sits by Marcus and they both focus on me as I sip my drink. "What's the emergency then?" Zoe spoke up and clapped her hands together.

Placing my drink down I lightly cleared my throat, this wasn't going to be easy, I wish I planned something to say. "There's something that has been going on for months, possibly a year or more." A shaky breath follows as I pause. I clench my fists and close my eyes, you can do this Ali. "People aren't always honest, and we've all known people who are manipulative in one form or another." They both nodded but remained focused on me.

"Is it trolls? Are they getting to you?" Zoe, concerned worn heavily in her eyes I shook my head.

"In some way it's trolls. Except, I know them." The two of them shared a confused look, not understanding my point entirely. "A while ago when I visited Joe me and Caspar went out. We went to a club and we saw something, something we probably shouldn't have." Images of that night flash before my very eyes, my words come to a halt and I stutter, unable to unsee Niomi santer off with Alfie in her grip. Blinking I see the two innocents left behind, still curious as to what I mean. "We saw two people, cheating."

Neither of them spoke. Marcus stood up and walked off, out of the room. Zoe remained seated, now unable to make eye contact with me. There's still so much to say. "Me and Caspar spoke about it, then things got worse." I continued to explain it all, Marcus entered the room. "They manipulated me, they bullied me into not saying anything. I was trapped." Details unraveled and I played them the voice recording and the documents devised by them all. I mentioned my brief trips, the loss of my phone, the impromptu trip home and why me, Caspar and Alfie have been off for so long.

By the time I ran out of words enough had been said, the tears and feelings I'd bottled up for so long came out of me like flood gates opening. I couldn't stop my body shaking but clenched my fists so hard that I could feel blood drawing from them. "You've known for this long, and you never said a word?" Bitterness etched into Zoe's venomous tone.

I froze, I was unable to move or speak. My entire body felt numb including my thought process about this entire thing. Zoe's reaction was going to be unpredictable, I came here aware of this. But never did I think she'd treat me like this, as scum. As I sat there Marcus tried to reason with her, although I could hear how upset he was he was trying to help for the both of them.

Yet she stopped him and stood up, walking towards me. Glancing up tears marked her face, they seemed solid, undefiable much like she can be when needed. All of the laughs, the smiles growing up that we shared had vanished, they had been blocked off as all that faced me was hatred. "Get up." She muttered, I only needed to be told once as I stood before her. "You, you are really something Ali." Forcefully she wiped a tear away, I continued to dig my nails into my palms, I could feel myself drawing blood but it didn't matter. No pain could feel worse than this right now. "Why I thought you were family I do not know. What ever possessed me to consider you my sister," She scoffed. "well, this just goes to show who you really are. Nothing."

Her words stung, they burnt my entire body as I stood there feeling like the child outside of the gates. As I opened my mouth to speak I didn't even see it, a sharp burn crossed my cheek and as I placed my bloody palm across it, more crimson appeared. Marcus launched at Zoe and held her back whilst I stood there, shocked. "You know what Ali? We should've put you in the nut house when we found out! Those pills do nothing you hear me? Nothing!" She screamed as she struggled in Marcus' grip.

I did what I do best. I ran. I ran out of her house, clutching my cheek as the rain exposed my vulnerability. The shaking in my hands couldn't be stopped. My mind was whizzing too fast, too many thoughts were colliding and I just wanted to scream it all away. Picking up my phone I got an uber, remaining silent we didn't talk, he didn't ask about my face as it continued to throb. I went to the train station, I left everything behind except my phone. My family was gone, my own sister hated me. Maybe it would be better off if I just vanished.

As night drew nearer I wandered the streets until I recognised something. Unaware of my subconscious leading me here I walked up the stairs until I stood outside of their front door. Looking at my bloody knuckles I gently knocked on the door, the pain spreading as I clenched my fist one last time.

Mutters could be heard on the other side of the door as laughter filled the air. The separation of joy and me once again inevitable. As the door opened all became quiet, too quiet. I kept my head down as I could feel his presence before me, yet there was nothing I could do or feel anymore. "Ali?" He muttered as I slowly lifted my head, my cold green eyes completely bloodshot locking with the warmth in his brown ones. His eyes wandered past mine and to my cheek, the dried blood and mess it was.

I managed to form a small painful smile on my face, "Hi." My voice was hoarse, I silently cried the entire way as I sat in the back of the train where few joined me. Inside I was screaming, clawing to get out but for now I remain quiet as he places his arm around my back and leads me upstairs.