Going along the motorway at a steady speed I focus on my music that plays through the radio, any and every song that comes on I sing along to. With the windows slightly down it drowns out my own voice and blows my hair in all directions, including directly into my mouth making other drivers smile as they pass me by. I must look mad, but at least I know I am keeping true to myself then.

As I see the sign for Brighton up ahead my phone starts to ring, glancing over to my phone I press answer, "Hello?" I shout, shutting my windows to be able to hear clearly without any muffled responses.

"Hey Ali," Glaring at my phone I wish it could burn through, leave a mark, but unfortunately I do not have that capability. "Zoe told me to just call her to see how long you'll be." What a saint he is then.

Rolling my eyes I check ahead, "I'll be roughly half an hour. See you then." With that I hang up, not giving him a chance to even respond knowing it would be some insincere comment. Focusing on the roads and the correct turn offs I can't help but revisit the lasting memory he has imprinted in my mind, the things he's done and can't undo.

*

Pulling in I park my car after the elaborate gates shut behind me. Before I have the opportunity to get out Zoe is already here, standing at my door with a dimpled smile so full of life whilst I feel exhausted and only able to lift half my mouth to smile. "Ali, Ali, Ali!" She squeals as I climb out, immediately embraced into a tight hug whilst Alfie stands in the doorway, arms crossed watching with caution.

Quickly I am ushered inside, Nala jumping at my shins whilst I take a seat in the lounge whilst Alfie makes some tea. "I can't wait to go the beach," I sigh, reminiscing on the last time I was here. "and have our signature movie nights." Holding onto Zoe's hands I can feel less of a grip in response, her smile falters as Alfie enters the room.

"Did you tell Ali, Alf?" She asks him and he stands still with the mugs in his hands.

Glancing over to me I raise an eyebrow in response and take my hands from Zoes. "She was driving, I couldn't drop a bomb on her like that." His excuse, sad, but ultimately true. For once accurate too.

"What's going on? Are you pregnant?" I ask only to have Zoe groan and shake her head.

"A whole bunch of our friends are coming to stay for the next few days." She sighs and I sit still, trying to hold back my fury. "I know you've come all this way and we were going to have some quality time, but-"

Before I give her a chance to finish I cut her off, finishing on her behalf. "It's not like we had planned this months ago when I was having some stuff going on." I shoot Alfie a look whilst Zoe keeps her eyes on her feet. "I'll just go stay in a hotel for tonight, we can try and sort something again soon I guess." Standing up I place the mug down as calmly as I can.

"What if you just tell them? Then you can stay here?" Zoe suggested, trying to remain in bright spirits.

Yet as I turn and face her I can see how hard she is trying, how badly she wants me to do this. "It's not that easy Zo, I'll still be an outcast with all of them. I'm not involved in what you do. I've never forced you to hang out with my friends in Exmoor. Honestly, it's better if I just go." Brushing past Alfie I head towards the front door whilst Zoe calls for me.

Pausing I face her, holding back the emotions in my face as I clench my jaw tightly. "Please, don't leave like this. Stay a bit longer, we can catch up." She holds onto my hand, pulling me closer to the living room and further away from the front door.

Sighing I nod, making her spirits rise. "Just one cup of tea, okay?" I state and Alfie walks back into the kitchen. "So," I sit back down where I was before, placing my bag by my feet. "what do you want to know first?"

"Boyfriend status?" Leaning back into the sofa I allow myself to sink into it, already she knows the response.

Playing with my hair I smile to myself, "Prince Charming is waiting for Rapunzel's hair to grow long enough before she can meet him, obviously." I joke, trying to ease the tension that rises as Alfie walks in. That, and it is more fun to give some creative remark than 'I just haven't met the right guy yet.'

Suddenly the doorbell goes, I shoot a look to Zoe who glances to Alfie who merely stands still. I stand up and I quickly go into survival mode and walk through to the back of the house, knowing I can go round the back and make it to my car. Giving Zoe a tight hug I tell her I'll give her a call, Alfie smiles and I try to smile back, only to have it appear more of a grimace than a friendly smile.

As I shut the back door I can hear laughter erupt inside whilst I stand still out here. Part of me feels like a lost child looking in at happily families eating a hot roast dinner whilst I freeze in the cold outside. Nearing my car I pat my pockets for my things, only to swear to myself as I realise the worst case scenario as occurred.

I've left my bag inside.

With the little bit of dignity I wear I walk up to the front door, hearing the laughs and various voices having died down I ring the doorbell, praying she answers. "Hello?" Lifting my head up I pause, unable to process a sentence from my brain to my mouth.

Before me was a tall stranger with enticing emerald eyes, the longer I remained quiet the more uncomfortable he seemed as he pushed back his light brown hair. "Hi, my name is Ali. I'm collecting on behalf of charity." Once the words had left my mouth I immediately regretting choosing this as my story to go with, knowing it won't work in my favour.

Leaning against the doorframe he smiled to me, the awkward yet friendly type. "O...oh okay, what charity."

Oh, I didn't think of that. "Oh you know, that charity for kids." I say unconvincingly. We both return to a momentary silence, but thankfully he turns around and calls for Zoe.

As she comes into view her eyes go wide, I quickly shake my head, but as always it's too late. "Ali! What a surprise!" She said, I shot her a look and she stopped talking.

He looked between us, "You know each other?" He asked.

"O..oh me and Zoe, we go way back, I just came for my bag that's all." Zoe formed and o shape and ran to get my bag and brought it back. I said a quick thank you before running to my car and driving off, seeing him still stood in the doorway, observing me.