《Body Language.》CH. 12
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hi icy gang. y'all were wilding last chapter. 😂
A couple days had passed, Lei had been indulged in many activities to keep her mind off of the situation with Raj. For those past couple of days, confused isn't even the word to describe what Lei had been feeling. Someone that she hang out with on a daily basis, had her mind gone.
Thinking back to what Isidro said, had her wondering if Raj really was only hanging with her because she remind him of Xahir. It made her feel some type of way, given the fact that he swore it was a promise he made to her brother.
It caused her to start avoiding him for the past couple of days. He had been calling and texting her, but she never responded back. She knew he would show up to the house, so she avoided being home just so she wouldn't have to face him. She knew she was overreacting, but deep down she felt as if they needed time apart.
Her feelings for him were growing too strong, and the last thing she needed was one sided expectations. Her friends had been encouraging her to talk to him.
However, if she decided to talk to him, she knew that she would end having to confront her feelings for him in the process, and she wasn't sure if she was quite ready to do that yet.
It was currently Wednesday and Lei was studying for her midterms that were approaching. Later on she would be attending a grand opening party hosted by Arielle, Siraj's older sister. She recently bought a new restaurant and wanted to celebrate her accomplishment.
Lei simply wanted to show her support by going, even if it meant running into Raj while she was there. She didn't want to miss the event, especially when Arielle had supported and shown love at her most special moments.
Lei yawned as she closed her textbook, stacking it on top of the others she had sitting on her desk. She rubbed her eyes as she rolled her chair back just a little and got up, wanting to grab a light snack from the kitchen.
She walked out of her room, and headed down the stairs. When she got to the bottom, she peeked into the living room, seeing that her friends were also engrossed in their studies, the TV playing on low volume as a background noise.
Not wanting to disturb them, she walked into the kitchen, over to the pantry door. Flicking the light on, she walked into the ten squared feet space, her eyes roaming over the different goodies to choose from.
"Soleil, is that you in the kitchen?!" she heard Keia shout from the living room, slightly startling her.
"Yea!" she shouted back.
"Can you bring me some string cheese, please?" Keia requested. Lei settled for bag of cheez•it, and walked out, shutting the door behind her. She turned the light off and went over to the fridge, she reached inside and reached into the opened bag of string cheese and pulled one out.
She walked out of the kitchen and into the living room, passing the string cheese over to Keia, who thanked her. Lei sat down on the couch, opening her snack as she began to stare out of the window.
She found herself doing that lately, finding it quite humorous that, Ms. Jean was rubbing off on her. She popped a few cheez-it in her mouth, watching as some of the neighborhood kids walked in a small group, heading towards their houses for the day after getting off of the school bus.
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The kids glanced behind them, a few cooing and running in the opposite direction they'd just come from. Lei raised an eyebrow and leaned back, to see what had caught their attention.
She immediately got up and jogged towards the front door, stepping outside. She closed the door behind her and walked down her driveway, seeing Isidro coming down the street with Rocko.
The kids knelt down in front of him, all petting the friendly dog that they've grown to know and love. Lei smiled, approaching the small group.
"Hey guys," she greeted them, some stood to their feet, reaching in to give her a hug.
"Can I have some?" One of the boys pointed at her bag of cheez-it, she held it out for him to grab as she nodded her head.
"You guys share it," she told them.
"Thanks Lei!" They waved to her as they departed from her and Isidro, splitting the snack.
"Bye, get home safe!" she said before turning around to face Isidro. "Hi Dro, hi Rocko!" she reached down to rub the top of his head.
"What's up, pretty girl?" Isidro spoke, giving her a side hug. "How's your day so far?"
"It's going alright, been studying since I got home." she said as they both started to slowly stroll down the street.
"Looking for a distraction now, hm?" Isidro teased her with a grin. She shrugged, folding her hands behind her back. "Got any plans for tonight?"
"Mhm, I'm going to a friend's grand opening. What about you? You work tonight?" Lei glanced up at him, noticing that his focus was on something else.
She followed his gaze and seen the familiar white BMW pulling up into her driveway. Her heart dropped into her stomach, as she mentally cursed herself for stepping outside.
"Unfortunately, I hope you have fun though. I'ma assume you gotta go now," Isidro slightly chuckled, watching as she stared at the car.
Lei profoundly sighed, nodding her head. She reached in to give him a hug, before walking away back to her house. She quickly walked up the driveway, passing by Raj's car. However, she was startled by the horn being honked at her, making her jump a little.
She turned around, standing there for a brief moment until she finally gave in and got into the car.
As she did, Raj was on the phone with who she assumed to be Blue, judging by the familiar voice. Raj was shooting her a displeased look, as he held the phone in his hand.
He hadn't been able to get ahold of her for the past few days and it was truly bothering him. The last time they hang out, they seemed to be on good terms, so he was highly confused as to why the energy was different with her.
"Aye bruh, lemme call you back." Raj said, quickly hanging up without giving Blue the chance to respond. He sat the phone down in the cupholder, intensely staring at her. "What's yo' issue, Soleil?"
Her body was fully facing him, her hands tucked in her lap. She slightly opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Her heart feeling like it was about to burst out of her chest, from how fast it was pounding.
He let go of a sigh, scratching at the side of his head. "I'm not mad at you, Soleil. I just don't understand how we go from being on great terms just a few days ago, to you suddenly ghosting me. Did I say or do anything to make you uncomfortable or something?" he questioned her.
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"N-no," she stammered, closing her eyes as she shook her head. "It's n-not that,"
"So what is it then?" he held his hand out in a confused gestured, furrowing his eyebrows. He watched as she shifted uncomfortably in the chair, now turning her body away from him to sit straight, as she stared down at her now clammy hands.
"I-I just been busy, Siraj." she lowly spoke.
Raj hissed, blowing out a breath of frustration. "Yea, I'm tired of hearing you say that, Soleil. Just be honest wit' me, I'm grown, I can handle the truth." he replied.
Lei swallowed hard, as she opened the door. "I'm sorry Siraj, I-I just — I can't right now." she got out of the car, shutting the door behind, before heading back inside.
Siraj watched her with a puzzled expression as she disappeared around the corner, his mouth slightly agape.
He hoped to had left with answers, but instead he was more confused than before. His mind ran with different possibilities as to why she was acting the way she was with him.
Even after he left her house a few days ago, they texted each other throughout the night — but eventually, she stopped replying the next morning. At first he chalked it up to her being caught up with class, but after she hadn't texted him back when he asked if she needed him to pick her up, he was confused.
He wanted to get out of the car, and get to the root of the issue between them. But there was another side of him, that wanted to give her space, not wanting to be too overbearing and forcing her talk when it was evident that she was uncomfortable.
Whatever the issue was, he hoped to have it resolved before the weekend approached. He somewhat became accustomed to seeing/hearing from her every single day, and not being on speaking terms with her at all, felt weird to him.
"Why do women have to be so complicated?" he groaned, running his hands down his face.
Nighttime fell and it was now the grand opening of Arielle's restaurant. It was slightly crowded, due to a lot of her friends, family and even clients coming out to support her business.
Raj stood with his family, holding his camera in his hand to capture photos throughout the night. Ximena had popped out as well, bringing along Semaj who was playing with his cousins at one of the tables close by.
His sisters posed in front of the backdrop, Raj angling his camera before snapping a few photos of them. He felt a hand gently placed on his back, causing him to stand up straight and glance over his shoulder.
To his surprise, it was Lei's parents, who also wanted to come out and show support — especially since Lei's mom, Vanessa and Tasha were extremely close.
"Oh, hey y'all." Raj greeted Vanessa with an embrace, doing the same with Lei's dad, Xavier. "I didn't know y'all were coming."
"Well, of course we had to come support our girl," Vanessa smiled, holding her arms out for Arielle who was beaming with joy.
"I'm so glad y'all came, thank you for coming." Arielle thanked them, stepping aside so their other sister, Emerie, was able to get her hugs in as well.
"Soleil not wit' y'all?" Raj asked them, his curiosity peaking. He wondered if she would show up just to show her face or if she was going to try to avoid him.
"Soleil is already here, she came to greet me and give me a gift when she got here." Arielle told him, before redirecting her attention onto one of her friends who approached her.
"Yea, I was gonna say, Soleil told us she was coming when we asked." Vanessa said. Raj simply hummed, returning back to taking photos.
Lei looked out at the lake, the music blasting in the background as she drowned in her thoughts. So far the night had been going great, the restaurant that Arielle had bought, was beautiful with a back patio lit up by bright lights, that looked out at the ocean. When she arrived, she greeted Arielle with the gift she bought as a congratulations.
Surprisingly though, she hadn't seen Raj, yet. She thought he would've been one of the first people she seen once she stepped foot inside, since it was his sister's opening.
Crazily enough, although she was avoiding him, she still found herself looking for him. After what happened earlier, she was ready to have a conversation with him. She didn't plan on talking to him about it there, but if it came down to is, she was prepared.
She was overwhelmed by the mixed emotions she had been feeling when she was finally in front of him. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't find the words to properly form a sentence that would tell him what was going on with her.
She was frustrated with herself, because she knew that he deserved an explanation as to why he was being treated the way he was — despite not doing anything wrong in the first place.
Her intrusive thoughts were still getting the best of her, and she knew that it was time to put them to rest.
"Hey, I'm bout to go get a drink. You want something?" Keia asked her, Lei shook her head, declining the offer. Keia started to turn around, but quickly paused once she saw that Raj was speaking to a few guys nearby. "Heads up, Raj is nearby talkin' to some people."
Lei deeply sighed and turned to see that Raj was in fact nearby, but he hadn't noticed her yet. "It's okay, you can go. I have to talk to him eventually." Lei said, Keia gave her a half smile, giving her arm a light squeeze before walking away. Lei unlocked her phone and went to reply to a few text messages, wanting to seem occupied in case he did make his way over to her.
"Nah I just been busy, taking care of business and shit." Raj shrugged, holding a cup of liquor, as he socialized with a couple of his friends.
"Word on the street, you been getting close wit' ya' boy sister," Andre, another one of Raj's friends smirked. Raj side eyed him, as the rest of the guys started 'ooh'n'.
He looked past him and saw Lei standing out on the patio, occupied on her phone. He looked away, clearing his throat. "What streets you hearing that from?" he raised an eyebrow.
He looked past Andre again, this time he could see Lei approaching them.
"Speaking of the fine ass devil," Another one of his homeboys spoke lowly, causing Raj to shoot him a look. The guys turned and saw Lei approach their group.
"Hi Blue," she smiled, as Blue gently pulled her into a hug.
"What's up, li'l bit? Everything good wit' you?" Blue kept his grasp on her, she nodded her head, looking up at him.
"Hey Siraj!" The group heard a voice exclaim over the loud music. Lei turned and saw Raegan, now being embrace by him with a huge smile.
"Damn them the only niggas y'all see?" Andre scoffed, Raegan slightly laughed and greeted them. She made eye contact with Lei, giving her a warm smile.
Lei nodded her head in her direction to acknowledge her and bit the inside of her cheek, as she pulled away from Blue. Without speaking another word, she walked away from the group, wanting to find her friends and hopefully get seated at a table. However, before she could make it any further, she felt a hand grab hers, pulling her back in the opposite direction.
She found herself back outside again, Raj sporting an annoyed expression. "Don't do that shit again, Soleil." he frowned.
"Do what?" she jerked her head back, folding her arms under her chest.
"If you wanted to talk to me, make that shit known. Don't walk away, just because someone else approached me."
"Whatever," she mumbled.
"What is yo' issue, ma? I'm not understanding why I'm being treated this way." Raj stressed, Lei slumping her shoulders as she started to grimace.
"I-I'm sorry, Siraj." Her eyes turning soft, as she dropped her arms to her side. Lei blew out a breath of frustration and shifted her weight, "Remember when we saw Elias at the outlets? Well, I didn't tell you everything that happened. We actually did have a conversation," she finally told him.
"About what?"
"About you,"
"What did he say?"
"He said that you only hang out wit' me because you feel obligated to. You made a promise to my brother, so I kind of feel like it's true. If my brother hadn't made you promise to look after me, then I honestly don't think you would be worried about me," Lei finally explained, picking at her nails.
Siraj gazed at her with a baffled expression, "Seriously, Soleil?" he raised his eyebrows, as she nodded her head. "That's not true — yes, part of the reason I am here is because of Xahir but that's not the sole reason. I genuinely like being around you ma, I enjoy your company. I hate that he even put that into yo' head, cause who is he to talk when he didn't bother to reach out to you either — and then on top of that, pulling the shit he did?"
"Have I ever made you feel that way, Soleil?" he tilted his head, leaning onto the balcony railing. "That I'm only around because of Xahir?"
"No, to be honest, I forgot about the promise you made to him — it's just, I hate that you told me. Because in the back of my mind, I'll always know that's what caused you to come around — and not that you genuinely wanted to be around." she replied, half shrugging.
"I understand, and I won't fault you for feeling that way. I just hope that you'll eventually understand that I didn't stick around solely because of him, I'm here because I want to be here, Soleil." Raj said, a little hurt that she was doubting their friendship, but also understanding of where she was coming from.
After all, he did avoid her at one point, because of how much she resembled him.
"Yeah..." she trailed off, feeling the awkwardness fall over them. "I'm gonna go find my friends, we'll talk later." she started backing away, pointing in the direction that Keia disappeared to.
"Oh...okay," Raj hesitated, still feeling as if there were more to talk about. However, now wasn't the right time to delve deeper into the issue, as they did both step out to show support to his sister. He hoped that they would be able to have their alone time and resolve any further issues or uncertainty that she may still have.
Lei walked away again, leaving Raj to stand there for a moment as he still was processing their conversation. He walked back inside, joining the rest of his friends again.
As the night progressed, Lei finally got seated at a table with her friends and her parents. Talking to them, helped take her mind off of the situation with Siraj, even though he had passed by her table more than once — even stopped briefly to speak with her parents.
While she socialized and enjoyed the food, she eventually ended up with Maj in her lap, his cousins also surrounding her as she played and joked around with them.
As closing drew closer, Lei and her people made sure to leave a nice tip to their waitress, also congratulating Arielle on the success, as it was a full house.
Lei bid her parents a farewell, letting them know she would send a text or call once she made it home safely. She walked out of the restaurant, Keia and Josiah walking ahead of her towards the parking lot.
Outside, Raj was joking around with Raegan and a few of their friends. He heard the rhythmic sound of Lei's heels colliding with the sidewalk as she passed by him, her attention on her phone.
"Excuse me," he called out to her, Lei paused and whipped around to face him, Keia and Josiah slowing down as they also heard him. "Y'all can go ahead, I'll walk wit' her," he assured them, they nodded their heads and continued on with their walk.
"You was gone leave without saying bye?" he crossed his hands behind his back, as she slid her phone into her purse.
"I didn't see you," she said.
"Did you even attempt to look?" he narrowed his eyes at her, she remained quiet, twisting her lips to the side as she fiddled around with her nails. He deeply sighed and stopped walking, grabbing her forearm. "I just don't understand you, Soleil."
Lei knitted her eyebrows in confusion, giving him a weird look. "What do you mean?" she tightly clutched onto the strap of her purse as she held it down in front of her.
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