《Wot you sayin'?》Punching Above Your Weight

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One of the good things about being a guy is that we can, I say we, but guys like me, can wear something simple, like a suit, comb our hair and just go to a red carpet event. Of course, there are some who take meticulous care of their appearance. I can name at least one person like that.

Girls, again, generalisation, have to do so much more than guys. There's makeup, the right accessories to go with the dress, what kind of dress they're going to wear, the shoes, the hair. I thought since Dianne was making an effort to look even more gorgeous than she already is, I'd better make an effort to complement her.

That was especially so because I wanted to use one of these pictures as our announcement picture. I'd noticed that some outfits I've worn she's really liked. Wearing a suit and these glasses go down really well with her. But if I do say so myself, it was a good idea for me to use this time to tell the boys about us.

Oli: Whoa! Are you actually saying what I think you're saying?

I chuckled.

Depends on what you're thinking, mate

Caspar: He's answered, boys 😲

Josh: Welcome to our lives, Joe.

Oli: Can we just address the real matter at hand? Are you going out with Dianne?

I decided to be pedantic.

We're going to the Pride of Britain awards with the rest of the Strictly crew, but we're not going out yet.

Oli: That's not what I meant and you know it.

Mikey: Spit it out Joe. You leaving us hanging

Joe: You're* not you

Mikey: What the hell you on about?

Never mind. Yes, Dianne and I are together now. We've recorded the foxtrot reaction video and we're mocking the press, pretending we're not seeing each other. I just wanted to clear things up with you guys.

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Oli typing... Caspar typing... Jack typing...

Jack: You're punching, aren't you?

I am, aren't I?

I scrolled through the list of emojis. Oh well. This will do.

😊

Josh: Oooooh. Someone's in lurrrrve

I laughed. Little did they know...

Jack: He didn't even deny it!

Mikey: That picture can't be real. Someone as gorgeous as Dianne can't fancy someone like you. That's got to be photoshopped.

That was harsh

Connor: Yeah, that was uncalled for.

Mikey: I'm sorry 😔 I didn't mean it harsh. I'm just shocked though.

Connor: You're digging yourself a deeper hole

Yeah.

Quit while you're ahead.

Jack: Besides, that photo looks too authentic.

Josh: Not to side with Mikey, but Joe can do anything. He's got skills

Jack: Finally Josh is talking some sense.

Shut up, Josh. No one wants your opinion

Mikey: Yeah, Ginge

Oli: No one wants your opinion either, Mikey

It's only playful banter

Caspar: So when did you get together?

I thought about it and just decided to type:

A few days ago. One of the days we were training for our foxtrot

Caspar: Something tells me that was just after your first kiss.

He's got to know me too well. Well, he used to be my roommate. That's no wonder then.

Caspar: Am I right or am I right?

What are we? Teenage girls or something?

I laughed at that.

Oli: Go on. Don't bother hiding it

Connor: Yeah, spill

Jack: Yeah. Go on

Mikey: Tell us

Caspar: You heard us

All right! All right

Josh typing... Oli typing... Caspar typing...

I'll tell you

After our waltz

Then a few days later we had a good chat about it and realised we both wanted to go out with each other

Oli: I KNEW IT! Mikey, you owe me

Caspar: What did I tell you, Josh?

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Josh: Yeah. You were spot on. I thought it would be the week before. You were giving each other giant 😍 It was pretty obvious

Connor: Mikey thought you were purely platonic

Mikey: Hey, stop using fancy words. Only Joe is clever enough to understand that word

Oli: I do

Jack: I do

Mikey: Oi! Jack you only know because your Connors bro

I shook my head. I need to do a spelling bee with Mikey and Dianne. I wonder who would win.

Caspar: I know what it means

Josh: Me too

It didn't surprise me at all that they'd started placing bets on us

I'm going to go now. I've gotta be somewhere

So much for that. I got a phone call from Mikey. He apologised again and Dianne helped my case when she shouted as she came down in some of my clothes, "Joseph, I'm done with the shower. Where's the hairdryer?"

"See, I told you she wasn't photoshopped."

Sometime during our phone call someone hung up (probably Mikey) and Dianne and I carried on our conversation.

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