《Wot you sayin'?》Spill the Beans
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"Hello, boyfriend," I said softly, looking at his lips.
"Hello, m'love." He shifted himself on the sofa to face me better.
"That was so naughty of us to lie to everyone like that," I said giggling. "Great idea though."
"I don't care. At least we've got the press off our back." I softly trailed my hands along his neck then rested them on his face and placed a soft, lingering kiss on his lips. That turned into another one, and another one and... I lost count.
"I love you," he whispered again. The first time he said it was when we were training for our foxtrot and I was not expecting it at all. I only just managed to keep my mouth shut, rather than copy that jaw drop emoji and I actually got quite emotional. He'd already started meaning so much to me and to find out he felt the same way just... yeah.
Even though it was a good idea to get the press off our backs, I really wanted to let everyone know. Especially those closest to us.
"Earth to Dianne..." I come back to Earth. I blinked at him and smiled. "What you thinking about? Don't want anything dangerous to happen!" He laughed in his usual way, and I laughed in response. "Anyway, wassup?"
"It's just... I know you wanted the press to get off our backs, but... do you think we should tell our friends and family?"
"I was thinking that too. Do you want to?"
"Yeah. I mean, they're going to know straight away when we put up our next reaction video."
"And our body language gives us away too." We laughed and made out awhile longer. "Who first?"
"How about the parents? Not my parents. They're probably still asleep. Gray ham?"
"Shall we see if he's awake?" I nodded and he texted his dad. A few seconds later Joe's phone rang. He put it on speaker phone.
"I am now," Graham's voice was groggy. "What have you done now?" I held in my laughter.
"Nothing! Why would you accuse me of that?!" There were multiple swear words and something about a prank. Joe laughed though and said, "You've gotta admit that was a pretty good prank though." I quietly agreed, remembering the one he was talking about.
"Well? What have you called me for?"
He took a deep breath and I gave him a reassuring smile. "I'd like to introduce you to someone. Let me turn the video on."
"WAIT!" Joe waiting. Then Graham come into view. "I already know Dianne."
We gave each other a fond look and Joe said, "Dad. Meet my girlfriend." He started cackling.
"You're punching above your weight, aren't you?" He cackled some more.
"My friends might argue I'm punching above my weight, Gray Ham."
"No way," both Joe and Graham said at the same time.
"So who else have you told? Am I the last?"
"Actually," I interrupted. "You're the first."
"Whose idea was that?"
I laughed and said, "Mine actually."
"What a surprise. It wasn't my son's idea. It was his girlfriend's."
"Hey! Do I get to say anything in this conversation?" Graham and I say no at the same time.
Then we phoned Tracey but before we did Joe had the idea of pranking her. "Really? You love your mum though. Have you pranked your mum before?"
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"No, but technically, you're going to prank her." I was excited; I was a good liar.
"What should I do?" My smile gave away how excited I was.
"Well..." He told me what to do and I giggled in my own way.
I started to imagine how I'd be if I was in that situation. Got it. "Tracey? I'm so sorry I'm calling you so late." A sob escaped me.
"Dianne, sweetheart. What's wrong?"
"It's Joe. He's hot, so hot, and he's been throwing up a lot. It looks like he's passed out." I just managed to hide my laugh. Joe on the other hand had to leave the room to laugh. "I've never seen him this bad."
"Where is he now?"
"He had to leave the room. What do I do?"
"So he's really hot, throwing up, passed out. You've never seen him this bad and he had to leave the room, right?" Joe come back again and cuddled up to me.
"Yeah, Mum. I've never had it so bad. Do you think I've caught something?"
Tracey laughed. "I've seen you prank enough people to know when you're doing it again."
"Damn it! Yeah, it's a prank. Dianne was lying."
"Excuse you! I was lying?!"
"Yeah."
"It was your idea!"
"But you still—"
"Technically you lied."
"How?! It was from your own mouth. You're only denying your part in it because the prank failed."
"Children, children. I think I know what you're going to say, but go on. Spill the beans."
"Dianne and I are together." He cuddled up to me some more, as if Tracey could see us.
"Thought so. You looked like you were in the after party when me and your Nan came."
We looked at each other, thinking about the kiss we shared in Joe's dressing room, right after our waltz. It made me wanna kiss him again.
"It wasn't just yet that we started going out," Joe said. "Pretty close though."
"Awww. Was it early days?"
"Yeah," we both said. I was thinking of adding, "Literally that very day."
"Thanks, Mum, for being a star. See ya later. Love you. Bye."
"Sleep well. Don't throw up now." We both laughed. Can you imagine that actually happening? Hahaha.
"Who next?" I asked. Joe looked at the clock. 10:54.
"Shall we call it a night?" I nodded then yawned and stretched. "I don't think Zoe or Alfie will be awake now."
"Can you ring me an uber? I think my phone has died."
"I've got a better idea. Do you want to stay over?" He searched my eyes, almost looking like he was asking his mum to let a friend sleep over.
"Are you sure?" He looked hopeful and nodded excitedly. "Sure. Grab me a blanket and I'll sleep down here."
"Don't be silly. You take my bed and I'll sleep here." I could see in his eyes he wanted us to sleep together. Not in that way, though.
"If you really want to." He looked really sad. "Or together?" He looked unbelievably happy.
Then he held me at arm's length and said, "I won't take advantage. I just want to cuddle."
"I know." I kissed him. "Come on. Let's go. Have you set an alarm?" He nodded and showed me his alarm.
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~—~
After our first day of training for the Paso doble, Joe and I decided to pack up early before we headed out for the Pride of Britain awards.
Before that we picked up a few things from my apartment and made my way back to Joe's.
"Awww, my two Joes." I looked at Joe and then Jo with suspicious eyes. "What have you been talking about?"
"Just Joe's love life." He had such a sly look on his face. I looked over at Joe who laughed.
"Oh yeah? What is Joe's love life like?" I gave my Joe a wink that didn't escape Jo's notice.
"He's got a girlfriend, you know. He was telling me that his girlfriend is absolutely hot," I blushed. "Has flaming red hair. Great figure. Amazing dancer. Got the sweetest heart. And I was going through the list of people he could be talking about. He said I know her too. I couldn't figure out who she is..." a wide grin spread across his face. "Then he said she's got the weirdest brain of anyone he's ever met and I knew exactly who it was. I said it's Di-Anne!"
"You actually said that?"
He laughed and asked, "Which part?" He swept his hair to the side. Awww, I'm making him nervous. I just walked up to him and kissed him loudly on the cheek.
"Anyway, we've got to go. I don't have that much time to get ready." Joe checked his watch and shook his head. I could practically hear him thinking, We've got hours!
"Uber should be here soon. I'll go outside."
"Come here," Johannes said, hugging me. "I'm so pleased for you. He's a good guy."
"I know. He's the best."
"Will I see you later?" He wiggled his eyebrows. I hit him on the arm.
"Hey! None of that." I glared at him. "I don't know though. I'll text you later."
~—~
When we walked through Joe's front door, I hugged him tightly.
"I thought you didn't have much time to get ready." He smirked at me.
"I won't once we're done talking to the others. Can we call my parents?"
"First sensible thing I've heard you say all day." I pouted and he kissed me on top of it. "I love you." He smiled and called my parents from his phone. Mine needed charging.
"I love you too," I looked up at him. "Jokes and all."
"Hi Ma! How are ya?" Our conversation flowed easily, Joe butting in occasionally.
"When is your reaction video going to be up, Joe?"
"I've set it to go out tomorrow. Speaking of which, at the start of the vlog we're doing a little play acting." He let me continue. I shrugged.
"Is Dad there? We've got something to tell you, just to clear things up." He come up on our screen.
"Hello Dot." Dad come onto the screen. "Are you and Joe together yet?" Joe burst out laughing, practically couldn't breathe. My jaw dropped though
"Whoa! If Dad knows, there's no hope of hiding it. Joseph, breathe." He was still laughing.
Joe breathed out, wiped away the tears from his face and said, "Yeah, we're together now."
"Are we that obvious?"
"We've both been thinking how well suited you are together. So we've joined the ranks of Joanne shippers."
"Look at Mum learning the lingo! We've got to go." I told Mum where we had to be and when.
"Hey," he said. "I've got a cute idea about how to tell the boys. Take a cute picture of us looking googly eyed, close to kissing or something and post it to our group chat. Then we can get ready." I gave him the thumbs up then left.
Occasionally I heard some laughter.
"Joseph, I'm done with the shower. Where's the hairdryer?"
"See I told you she's not photoshopped."
"Who are you on the phone to?"
"Mikey. He said I'm punching as well. Well, most of them are."
"I don't think you are. I mean, you're so smart and talented. If anything, I'm punching."
"That's not the definition of punching," he said, tucking my head under his chin. A person who's punching is going out with someone who's gorgeous and they're not."
"I think you're gorgeous too." I leaned away from him and kissed him on the lips. "Before I get carried away by your good looks, you need to get ready. Show me where your hairdryer is."
After that, we gave Zoe and Alfie (hashtag Zalfie) a video call. Obviously they were really happy for us, but she acted all offended when we said she's one of the last ones to be told. I reminded her (and myself) that we still had my brothers to tell but she assured me she was only joking.
"Hey, stop saying my boyfriend is punching."
"I am though." We both must have had a goofy smile that Alfie pretended to wretch. "See ya, Zoe. Take care, Alfie. Don't be violently sick." Once we hung up he said, "Honestly though, what have I done to deserve you?"
"I think I should be asking you that." I took him upstairs to his room where my dress was hung up and asked him to do me up.
Once done, he kissed my neck and said, "It's a pity I can't leave any marks on you, otherwise you'd be covered in them."
"Pity. You'll just have to settle for this." I kissed him.
"You know. It's way in the future, but I was thinking about our announcement picture, for the public. So if we're still together, and since that dress looks beautiful on you, I'm wondering if you'd mind posing for some pictures. Did that make any sense?" I nodded.
"That's a good idea. You look hot in a suit and those glasses, by the way. Who can take the picture for us? Is Byraaaaaan home?"
"I think so." He looked around for him.
"Oh hi Dianne. How's it going?"
"Yeah, good thanks. Getting excited now."
"It's like a proper date, you know." Since he walked in on us snogging, Byron was one of the first people to know. That is, after Captains Stacey and Neil. They were both up to something. Me and Joe know it. I hope neither of us cry though. "By the way... would you mind taking some pictures of us, please?"
After doing that, I had the idea of sending my brothers a cute photo of us like he did with the boys. I put the caption, "Call me tomorrow when you get the chance." And... send.
"Off we go. Thanks again, Byraaaaan."
Time to tell some of the Strictly lot.
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