[Summary: The Damage Of Slenderman Obsession]

Hello there, I would say it's nice to meet you but these circumstances aren't nice. I can't say my name, where I am, who I am. What I am doing now is risky for me and my future. But why? I can tell you why. People don't like me doing what I'm doing right now. When it comes to him, the Tall One as I call him... people say I'm crazy when I try to help. I've been living like this for 7 years, non-stop fear of him. My life has been turned upside down. It started as a fun thing you know, what's not fun about scary stuff. But I saw him in a dream and woke up terrified. That day I saw him on the way home from a party. That was when it begun. At first it was creepypasta in general, but when I saw him it was just "slenderman" as they call him. I looked him up, stayed up long nights until dawn learning about him. As you know this was a stupid idea. In the old days when people used to actually take him seriously it was called "the obsession" a psychological symptom of the radiation sickness from his sigma radiation. It got worse and worse. I went to the local woods looking for him. I began getting ringing in my ears, nose bleeds. That was when I realised this wasn't a fun story for depraved people like myself. No this was something scarier. He was real. I don't know what he is... not even now but I know he's very real and it's possible through his fame we projected his existence, a thought apparition, a tulpa as those in the east say. My obsession was so bad I would never get sleep, scared in the night I would be snatched. I read on proxies, his slaves in a sense but I figured if you can't beat them, join them. I was so frightened, people at school were cruel and mocking making me depressed and suicidal. All the while he got closer and closer to me. Life was hell. All that went through my head, all I did on the internet was things related to slenderman. So I thought if I pledged and allegiance to slenderman, promised to serve him, do whatever he would leave me alone and my life could become normal again. This was just the beginning. I wore a mask based on the Marble Hornets Masky mask, drew the operator symbol everywhere, my room, myself and went to the local woods calling out for him. I saw him a few times but you never really get a chance to run to him cause he always flashes when you don't see him like a weeping angel from doctor who in a way. I know that sounds pissy but it's the best way I can explain it. Always in the corner of your eye or when you blink he just vanishes. I figured he had his eyes on me but didn't take me for much. At school I stalked people as "practise", tried to be like slenderman, following people and only moving when they weren't looking and disappearing from their view occasionally. I don't know if it was a coincidence I was perfect at it and really creeped people out. Of course this led to more bullying. One night I got so close to him and he didn't disappear. I got right up to him and I can't explain the feeling, it's like a depraved excitement, almost a happiness I knew I was now enslaved and under the operation of him. It was like happiness and hope and horror at the same time, not a thrill, almost a calm and happy sensation. Of course things got worse after this. I started stalking people in the park getting them to go to the woods, I did what I could at school to get others to believe him so they could get stalked even getting one to become interested in being a proxy. I could hear his commands in my head, a paralysing deep voice that sounded friendly in a way I guess. I had never had a history of mental illness and although saw therapists was never classed as delusional or insane. Of course it got to my parents eventually who got me tested many times and I was declared sane each time, just sad cause of extreme bullying. I figured being a proxy didn't help and tried to forget slenderman, that's when people started deliberately talking about slenderman in front of me for fun always looking for a distressed reaction. I saw him more and more, I guess he was angry... When I tried to kill myself cause of the bullying, I tried to start a new life and calm down, forget about him and it worked somewhat. I still saw him but it was only from a distance. I got a new school and it kicked off again through an odd obsession with the Rake fuelled by the same need for a thrill. I tried to stick to the Rake but it wasn't long until slenderman came up again and once again I was plunged into hell. I started to dissociate and had what some of you may call a "proxy side". It was the same thing again in a way. I put pages around the large school grounds and tried to creep people out but mainly did the research thing again and gained yet another obsession. I remember one time my vision went blurry altogether and I felt so weak and I fell to the toilet floor. Next day I saw him in those toilets. I saw him behind a face, and everywhere once again. It just carried on and carried on and it never stopped. That was when people started to get really worried. I met people online in a website like this. The website has been closed down now. People understood my situation even my best friend at school getting involved and we all grouped together and formed a big friendship group we called "elementi" that They trusted me to lead cause apparently I was the most "knowledgeable" and "experienced" about the stuff. Well yeah it had been 2 and a half years by then of non stop fear and obsession, so many nights lying awake trying so hard not to go on the internet to look him up even more, even stuff I knew was fiction but I couldn't stop, I needed to know more and the more I knew the more I saw him, felt "slender-sick" and more my life went downhill. By now I hated him and refused to become a proxy, I promise I have attempted to keep until this day. A few times I have wanted to become one again (that's what I mean attempted) but that was just several phases due to feeling helpless about it. People liked me in this community, the slenderman community that is. I was referred to by quite a few people as an expert, that I knew what I was on about, suppose that's so many years of obsession. One thing I still don't know is exactly what he is. Well elementi was a well known group and we offered advice to those who suffered at the hands of slenderman and his proxies. We got threats from online proxies and recently I have found out three people at my school were self proclaimed proxies, wether they had direct contact with slenderman I don't know but they certainly became attached to me and my best friend which was really creepy: my best bet is slenderman manipulated them or controlled them; maybe they didn't even know what they were doing. Well I got separated from elementi due to an internet ban that was put in place "for my own good". I had a mental breakdown after that but have since recovered and have had no contact since from my good friends from elementi and the many messages I had with victims and runners asking me questions and advice bless them. People went missing though, they could of died for all I knew. It was always so scary this stuff. Seeing him, knowing he's after me. The website has since been deleted and since then due to the stabbing and films something I refer to as the "removal" happened where slenderman is now viewed by many as a complete joke and is now viewed as 100% fictional. Now people who believe, even proxies, suffer at the hands of the masses being called insane and delusional. Back in the day people used to take him a seriously... but now that's not the case. Of course people are still victims at his hands and proxies still exist but are silenced through pressure. Through institutions I have met many believers and looking deep on the internet you can still find people today who experience his wrath. But we are few. We have either all been taken or all been silenced. That's what he likes though, we are more helpless to his stalking. I'm sure many missing people who never get found are subject to his works, especially those who go missing without a chase. But that's it in brief. As I said I've been involved with the slenderman community since 2013, I have been stalked multiple times, I think I'm part of a plan, it's been 7 years, I should be dead. I have had messages from people who clam to be proxies, even slender sickness. I was on another website where I was considered an expert on him and was pretty much famous to them some calling me a leader, but the website was shut down and my small group Elementi, I have had no contact with for 4 and a half years, I don't know where they are and have no way of connecting with them. Just get this straight, I've been researching this for 7 years, I've had multiple people come to me for advice. He is real, I personally believe he is a Tulpa and we have made him real but even if he has been thought into existence he is still a living entity. Just please, I know now everyone thinks slenderman is a joke but for those very few people who have not been classed insane or those who have been hunted and taken by him, I am here for you and won't stop fighting and helping others in the slenderman cause. Please take me seriously, I'm someone that has been actively and prominently involved with this community before, I know everything now and I know I am in danger but he doesn't come close. That's the only question I don't know the answer to, he watches me, stalks me but has never taken me. I fear he wants me for something. I have had a busy life full of trauma and emotional chaos and funnily enough that only ever happened after I became involved in this community so I know what it's like. I have known people to go missing that have been stalked. He is real... if you look for the evidence you'll find it. I think I'm safe, I don't feel that way but after 7 years without being taken (but I have been touched and hurt by his horrible unnatural hands. I know what he's like, I don't want to say I know it all cause I don't but nowadays I'm probably one of the last ones left who know so much and have not been taken. Sure I've been silenced in my personal life but once again I want to start fighting on the runners end against him by answering your questions and giving you advice and giving you someone to talk to you. Please, those who know he is real, some of us are out here. I don't know if there is a way of defeating him but there are ways of fighting him. I still don't know why I haven't been taken yet though. I figure it's because I've worked for him before but you never know. If someone could answer this for me I would be thankful and if any Elementi members or any that remember the group message me. Stay strong, he is real and remember I am always here to talk to; thank you for listening today and good luck.

Link:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Slender/comments/i2iyk5/slenderman_is_real_ive_been_involved_for_7_years/