I watched in shock as the news showed video of Ryan and Claudia outside of some restaurant in Hollywood. The reporter was claiming that this was taken just over half an hour ago, where some unexpected news was given by Claudia Grey and Ryan Connors.

Claudia was wearing a large smile on her face, showing off her large diamond ring, while Ryan stood behind her, smiling and holding her free hand.

What was going on?

When he left my place this morning it seemed that he was going to tell Claudia that it was a mistake and sort it all out. He told me that he was going to tell her about us and organise their split, but the television was showing something completely contradictory to that. My phone buzzed in my hand and I accepted the call, my eyes not leaving the screen.

‘Are you watching this? What is he doing?’ Aria’s voice came from the phone.

‘Yep, sure am, and I have no idea what he is doing?’

‘I am not saying that he is, but do you think he lied to us?’ she spoke slowly, like she was worried of the affect her words would cause.

‘No. No way.' Ryan wouldn’t lie like that, and he explained it last night, right?

‘As much as you trust Ryan, he isn’t giving us much of a reason to trust him right now,’ She tried to reason with me.

‘He is- Wait, he’s saying something.’

On the large flat screen in front of me Ryan stepped forward as a reporter asked him a question.

‘After over a year of dating, why did you chose now to propose?’

Ryan gave a grin and shared a look with the woman next to him. ‘Well, we are in love, and it seemed like the right time. We also found out the other day that..’

Claudia gave him and nod and he put a hand on her stomach as the woman spoke, ‘We are having a baby.’

WHAT! They are- what? That’s impossible!

‘What did the bitch just say?!’ Aria was freaking out on the other line.

‘This must be a mistake right?’ I asked her, hoping that she didn’t hear what I just heard. Ryan would never cheat on me with Claudia right? But I guess she was his ‘real girlfriend’. Tears stung my eyes as I thought about it. Was he lying to me this whole time? Were he and Claudia actually sleeping together?

The things he said last night, were they just to save his own ass?

The crowd on the television applauded and then it went back to the studio. This had to be some sort of sick joke.

‘I don’t know honey, look I am going to come over there, I’ll be at your apartment in twenty minutes and we can figure all this out, ok?’

‘Uh, yeah,’ I told her, my mind still reeling.

She hung up and I turned off the television, throwing the remote at the wall. I heard a crack when it hit, but I didn’t care.

What did all of this mean for Ryan and I? I was not his mistress, I wasn’t going to hide in the shadows while he raised a family with some woman.

Why couldn’t we just come out like we said?

I put my head into my hands and willed the thoughts to go away. I thought that I knew Ryan, I really did, but maybe I was mistaken, maybe we weren’t as close as I thought. Maybe he didn’t want to come out at all, and it was just a trick?

‘I had hoped I would make it here before you saw the news’ Ryan’s voice came from the doorway.

I pulled my head from my hands, ‘You have a lot to explain Ryan.’

‘Come sit down and we can talk, let’s go to the table.’

‘No, you can tell me right here and now, is the baby yours?’ I had to ask, I had to know.

He looked shocked and took a step back, ‘What?’

‘I said, is the baby yours? Have you been sleeping with Claudia?’ I asked, standing up.

‘No,’ he said, his voice hard, ‘The baby is Zach’s. I would never sleep with Claudia, you know that.’

‘Honestly, I don’t know what to believe any more, because all that seems to be coming from your mouth are lies and awful truths.’

‘I would never cheat on you.’

‘Yeah, but you would marry someone else, apparently. Why are you telling the press that the baby is yours?’ I asked him, and hoped to god that he had a good explanation.

‘Because Claudia wants me to raise the baby with her.’

‘And you told her no, right?’ I put my last hope into that question.

He paused and my heart stopped, ‘I told her I would do it,’ he said, his voice small and guilty.

‘YOU DID WHAT?’

‘Don’t be mad-’

‘DON’T BE MAD!? Ryan, you are going to marry someone and raise another man’s child, and you want me to do what? Just say, that’s fine Ryan, have a good life? I’ll be here when you get bored? Is that what you want from me?’

He looked down at his feet and I couldn’t take any more of this.

I pushed past him and walked to the kitchen, he followed me, standing on the opposite side of the bench.

‘Max, come on, I have to do this,’ he tried to reason with me, why was he doing this?

‘You have to do this? Are you crazy Ryan! You don’t have to do anything!’

‘If I don’t, then both of our careers will be over, she told me, you would never act again!’

‘She’s a liar Ryan! She is a manipulative liar!’ I was so angry that she would do this to Ryan, to put him in a position like this.

‘She needs me and I need her.’

‘You don’t need her Ryan! Why can’t you see that she’s just using you!’

‘I know that she’s using me, but if I don’t do it….. If I don’t do it then..’ He looked down at his feet, and wiped at tears with his hand.

He looked so vulnerable, I wanted to wrap him in a hug and comfort him until he was happy, until he was laughing and saying stupid things that no-one understands but him.

‘If you do this Ryan you will be so unhappy! You will be married to someone you don’t love, you will be hurting Zach, you will be hurting this child who deserves it’s real father, someone who will love it, you told me how much Zach loves Claudia, I am sure he would want the baby’

‘You don’t understand Max, she told me that if I don’t do it, that she will make my life hell, she will say that I abused her!’ he was yelling now, his hands flying around his body as he spoke, ‘She’ll say that I abandoned my child! She said that I will never sing again, that I will be all alone’ The tears fell freely down his soft cheeks as he spoke and I wished to god that I could punch Claudia in the face for this. He truly believed what she threatened and it broke my heart.

‘Baby,’ I stepped forward and clasped his hands in my own, and waited for his eyes to meet mine, ‘If you go through with this, THAT is when you will lose everything.’

‘No,’ he shook his head, ‘It can be like before, I can pretend to love Claudia, I can help her with the baby, I can stay at the top with my singing and we can keep seeing each other.’

He really believed that, he wanted it so badly that he actually believed that he could have it all.

I can’t spend the rest of my life hiding from the press and dating someone in secret. I want kids of my own and I want a big house in the suburbs. I want all of that with Ryan, but is that what he wants?

‘Ryan, we can’t stay together if you do this,’ I told him truthfully.

His eyes widened, ‘What?’

‘If you marry Claudia, then we can’t stay together. Either you marry her and we break up or you break it off with her and we go public.’

The ultimatum stunned him and he tried to find an excuse but there was none he could give. ‘But Max, if I don’t do this then my career, your career, we will be villains to the world, everyone will hate us.’

‘Ryan, who cares about all of that stuff, if we have each other then we will be alright.’

He just cried and squeezed my hands, ‘I can’t let you give up your career for me, I can’t let you be destroyed because of me and I can’t be alone again.’

‘I don’t care about my career, all I want is you, and I can promise that you’ll never be alone, I will always be with you’ I told him, my words were dripping in truth and promise, but he didn’t smile, or agree with me, he just looked at me sadly and I could see the decision had already been made.

‘I love you Max, but I have to do this. I…I just have to.’

I dropped his hands like they were on fire and he looked at me in shock.

I then said three words which caused his face to contort in such pain that I could feel my heart dying in my chest, the blood pausing in my veins.

‘We are done.’

‘Max, please, it doesn’t have to be this way.’

‘You made your choice Ryan, get out,’ I said, blinking back tears.

‘Max ple-’

‘GET OUT RYAN!’

He turned his tear filled eyes to the floor and turned, running out of the room and I heard my front door slam shut.

I slid down the side of the kitchen bench, my head resting against it as tears fell from my eyes and down my cheeks. I made no effort to move, the only thing I could do was think. Was think about the love I had for Ryan, and how much it hurt for him to choose Claudia over me. I guess he didn’t love me as much as I thought.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_

I don’t know how long I sat there. Aria had found me at some point.

She put her hands to my face and whispered, ‘Oh god Max, what happened?’

But I couldn’t find the will to answer her.

‘Max, please, please talk to me’ she brushed my hair away from my face and tried to get me to talk but I was stuck in my mind, where memories that once filled my heart with joy now haunted me and the only thought running through my head was that the man I loved was with another. That the man I love was going to raise a child, have a family, and I wasn’t a part of it.

He was afraid of being alone, but it was me who was truly alone now.