❝She has twisted, dark and painful stories crammed between the cracks in her heart.

Stay with her and listen, she's worth it❞

For the longest moment, we just sat there nestled comfortably on the grass with a silent rind around us like a second skin, which started to weigh down on me, because of the heavy sense of impending doom.

Ethan, so comfortingly caring, had thread his fingers in mine and kissed my hands, telling me that I didn't need to do this. I didn't need to tell him anything, but I had made up my mind from the start.

And who knows, if I tell him everything, maybe then it would become all more bearable real and not just a terrific illusion of life.

"I don't know where to start..." After a long dreading pause, I admitted.

"Then don't." He replied, his long fingers drawing unknown patterns on my skin.

I let out a sigh and said "But I want to, stop trying to make me change my mind."

Now, it was his turn to sigh as he rested his body against mine, creating a warm bubble, when he spoke up "Okay, just know that you can stop any moment. Hell! You can tell me to brainwash myself and never ask you anything and I'll gladly do it."

I wanted to chuckle, but couldn't bother to. Instead, I muttered "Surely. But as I said, I don't know how or where to start."

"Well, how about you close your eyes and tell me the first thing that comes to mind?" His voice was soothing me.

I looked at him and stole some courage from that gentle smile, I closed my eyes and let silence fall drop by drop.

Her shining face flashed in my mind, but before I could grasp the beauty of it, the vicious memories stole it, leaving the gloominess behind.

Sucking in a deep breath, my eyes shot open and breathless, I whispered "Claire!"

Meeting his gaze, I began to tell him the first thing, my mind came up with "I believe, you already know that I had a sister, Claire."

"She was a cheerful, quirky and a gorgeous girl, while I was... well me. We were completely opposite, but despite our differences, we were inseparable. We used to spend a lot of time together, trying to find every excuse to be ourselves and have fun without a single worry in the world. She was my only sister and I loved her to death and I know, she did too. But.. there was one person, who was not ecstatic with the deepest bond, we shared. My mom."

Gulping down a lump in my throat, which was making it hard for me to speak, I asked Ethan "Have you ever seen tears of disappointment in someone's eyes?"

He didn't say anything and it was okay, because I didn't expect him to. So, I continued "I have, in my Mom's."

"Every time, when she was done yelling and taking out her burning wrath at me, I would always catch the glimpse of those disappointed tears in her eyes, because of me. She never liked me, you know? Never thought of me as her daughter. She loved Claire, always an amazing mother to her, but never me."

A bitter and choked chuckle left my mouth, when I continued "She never abused me, well not physically anyway and I spent my whole childhood wondering, what did I do wrong? From what moment I became so unlikable, why was I never enough for her?"

"Claire noticed it, obviously and she always tried to protect me in her own silly, but thoughtful ways. My Dad didn't know anything about my mother's ill treatment, but he still was is my biggest supporter. We used to have so much fun together, all three of us. Dad, Claire and me. He loved us and made us laugh all the time, but that was the thing. The more love and adoration I got, the more anger grew in my mom's heart directed towards me."

His grip on my hand tightened and his body tensed, but I didn't let it distract me and told him "I was not supposed to be a part of that family, my family. She always treated me as an outsider and I watched her spending time with Claire and giving her everything, I desired too."

"I still remember, when I used to sneak out of my room at night and sit outside Claire's quietly, just to hear the stories mom would tell her. Claire always wanted to stick by my side, have the same room and share our clothes and do stuff like all the other sisters, but mom was always an obstacle between us."

A whimper moved past my lips and tears welled up, when I recalled every heartbreaking incident "I never knew, why she hated me so much, why I could never mean anything to her... until now."

"Because I am nothing, but an outcome of my dad's drunken night. A mistake that later became someone's lifetime problem" Tears rolled down my cheek as I stared at him completely vulnerable.

My voice became shaky, when I spoke up "I understand now or maybe, I think I do. How could she love me? When I was just an unwanted intruder in her family? And now as I dwell on it, I question, did dad only love me and support me because he felt bad? Does he... regret me?"

In an instant, Ethan's arms were around me shielding me from the danger of my thoughts and he murmured "No, Winter. I am sure he does not and I know you mean the world to him, trust me, I do."

I held on to him tightly, feeling his heart beating faster against mine, both caught up in a race they didn't care if lost.

Then, hesitantly, I untangled myself from him and wiped my cheeks, before saying "My life always has been this unfortunate complicated mess and once again, it took a major turn after Claire's death."

"If I think my mom didn't like me, at first, then it's like after that, she completely loathed me. She hated every inch of me, my presence, my existence, she hated it all."

"I knew that the loss of her only daughter was hard on her and I tried. I tried my best to the very last to take her every hit. Constantly she called me the reason behind Claire's death, blamed me for everything, tortured me by reminding me every moment, how I could never be a part of that family. That I could never be Claire, that I couldn't take her place, but the thing is, I never wanted to..."

"I never planned to take her place, never wanted to be her, because I knew, there would not be another Claire except her and I wish, she did too."

Silence fell around us, crying bloody tears and I finally revealed a secret, I never planned to " You know, during that point in my life, I imagined death too many times to count. I wished death as if it's a good magic trick to disappear, like it would be the most easy escape. I imagined death and thought, it would feel like driving back home."

"Stop it, just stop." It was a raspy beg of desperation, ceasing me abruptly.

I peered at him and found my pain sprawled all over in his eyes, the expression he wore was disturbed and etched with concern.

Shaking my head, I gritted out the words "It's not the end, just yet."

"One day,my dad found out all about mom and he was outraged... extremely outraged. And from that moment, fighting became their only communication. There were shouts, tears, arguments, crashing and breaking of stuff and I was left alone by myself in the middle, trying to mend, what was never meant to be fixed."

All the memories knocked out the air from my lungs and my lips quivered, holding back the tears from falling again.

He stroked my hair tenderly, tucking a strand behind my ear and later, let his thumb wipe my tears, that escaped without my permission.

"You can stop, Snow. Don't say anything anymore." Husky voice rang in my ear as more tears left my eyes.

Stubborn, I again shook my head, I needed to do this. I knew that was my last chance.

"I never told you how Claire died, did I?"

Lost with answers, he furrowed his eyebrows and bored his eyes into mine, what a majestic sight it was.

- And with as much braveness as my soul had, I finally faced the grieving reality.

"She killed herself."

Also, if there's anything you'd like to ask me or want me to explain, let me know in the comments section.

Thank you so much for reading my book, voting and commenting. Thank you for being here, for showing your support, I appreciate every single one of you♡♡

Bye, take care of yourself! Smile from your heart; nothing is more beautiful than a woman who is happy to be herself :)

Love, Zee..