❝ Her heart was a secret garden, but the walls were very high❞

He was shocked, I could tell. The air hitched around us and a strange silence stretched, like quiet lightning before the thunder.

And then he kissed me back.

His arms came for me from behind and he clutched me close to him, in a tight firm grip. For a moment, some would be fooled easily, thinking he didn't want to let go.

When our lips melted into that heated fire, there was no going back. They were wild against each other, as if all the pent up emotions were pouring out, crying for a release.

His hands were carefree wandering and gripping whatever they could. Moving from my sides to my hair, to my waist, then they finally settled, satisfied but not done.

My arms gripped his shirt, tugging him close, but it was not possible. Every inch of space was occupied.

He nibbled on my bottom lip and a muffled moan echoed in the room. Our tongue clashed together, caressing each other and roamed that wet path.

Each thrust was met and lips felt bruised in that war, but none of us wanted to stop.

My lungs were burning with the need to breathe, but my lips needed his touch more. He was like a drug, swirling in my senses, spiking the blood in my veins and it intoxicated me.

But when my lungs cried for air, I couldn't take it any longer and broke the kiss.

Breathless, I gasped for air but Ethan didn't move an inch and kept me close to him.

I took a few quick breaths regaining control and watched him, still hovering over my lips with a dark look. Then, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

Instead of air, he decided to breathe me in.

My heart fluttered like wings of a butterfly, still learning to fly. Then his eyes opened, meeting mine.

All the breath left my body as our gazes met. His eyes were shining brighter than any star ever could. Those green specks dripped in honey was the most magnificent sight an eye could ever wish to witness.

Our chest were still pressed up against each other, panting. Desire was the only thing controlling our senses, making us lose control.

He raised his hand to my face and traced my bottom lip with his thumb, playing with that soft squishy bud.

And with a hungry look, he cupped my cheek and once again interlocked me in a kiss.

This time he did it his way.

His fingers teased my back, moving up and down sensually. Other hand angeled my face, deepening the kiss, As if he didn't want to leave anything unappreciated.

He let out a growl, when I explored his wet and warm mouth, later sucking on his delicious bottom lip. Payback

His hold tightened around me, possessively and he denied me my fun. My body felt limp as he continued showering me with his hot kisses.

I was so lost in our desperate and needy bubble, that I didn't notice, reality was calling out for me, telling me to come back to my senses.

Suddenly, my movements froze. When I realized who I was, what I was trying to do and I quickly pulled away from him.

The sound of our ragged breath was the only symphony in the air.

I stared at him for a full moment, he looked devilish. Lips red and slightly swollen, hair a ravished mess and that fast movement of his chest.

I straightened my back and his arms were off of me, creating space between us, I moved away.

"I think you should leave." My voice came out cold and detached.

There was a pinch in his eyebrows as he registered my words.

"Why am I not surprised?" He scoffed in a harsh tone.

"What do you mean?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.

"You are doing this again." It was a blank statement.

"Again, I don't understand."

"Why are you acting this way? Can't you see? This is what you do! Whenever you feel like you are getting too attached, you just push people away," He snapped.

His words were heavier than a wall of bricks, weighing over my heart. The way he simply said it, as if it was the most obvious thing made me angry and terrified, oh so terrified.

"It's no-not like that!" I spat. But deep down a bitter feeling ditched me.

Who was I lying to? Him or myself?

"Oh yeah? Just because, you chose not to see it, doesn't mean I am blind." He matched my loudness.

"Shut up! You don't know anything, so stop pretending like you do." With every word spoken, my voice was growing impatient.

"Then, why don't you tell me? Clearly, I am missing something or who knows everything here." He was pissed and it was clear as the water.

I pressed my lips together in a thin line as I heard him provoking me.

I could never understand why anger was so easy than grief.

"C'mon tell me, help me understand. The reason behind your sleepless nights or why being distant comes so easily to you. Why, for a moment, you always turn away from the world and get lost in a memory? Why you always always seek something, something to keep your mind off of everything. The reason why lies are the only truth coming out of your mouth. Why are you quiet? Tell me Snow! Why running away seems like a better option to you than letting people show your weakness" Demandingly, his words thundered.

I couldn't stand him or his brutal questions, finally my anger snapped and so did I "IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT? STOP INTERFERING!"

I inwardly flinched at the choice of my words and tone, but didn't let it show. But, when his face completely went blank and for a second, a cold look flickered, an unsettling and regretful feeling hit me.

I quickly opened my mouth to apologize, to speak or even make a broken sound to let him know the battle going inside me, but he stopped me midway.

"You are right, it's not my business. I am sorry, I tried to pry." This time, I flinched, but at his words. Sharper than any knife they cut through my skin and went straight to my heart, wounding it.

"No, th-"

He didn't let me finish and began to move towards the door pushing past me.

"Save it, Winter."

I watched him with a guilty and terrified look as he opened the door.

I stood frozen in my spot and then suddenly, that soft click of the door getting shut cried in the room and realization dawned upon me. He left.

A part of me wanted to call out and stop him, run after him, beg him to understand what even I couldn't make sense out of, but I ignored it.

- and paid attention to that wicked part, that told me it was gonna happen at one point or another. Wasn't that the point of all this? That's what I wanted right? And that's what I do, push people away, shut them out, want them to leave me alone. Then why did it hurt so much this time?

I listened to that part and knew it was the sad truth, some things just cannot be changed. Yet, there was a shattering noise inside me as my soul wept, letting go of the only thing that felt so good in a long time.

~~~

He didn't show up. Not in classes, practices, to hang out with us, nowhere. It was maddening or maybe it was just me going mad.

Even when I finally dared to ask Finn about his absence, he simply told me that he left, because he had something important to do. Just like that, he was gone.

It had been two days and there was no sign, not a single trace of him.

There was a sense of emptiness in the air around me, and with every breath that I took, it was like a punch to my guts. It reminded me of him and the obvious hurt I caused, him and myself.

I wanted to leave everything and run away, not somewhere, but to someone.

Never in a million years, I ever thought that I would crave his presence this much. I didn't want him to do anything, he could stay mad at me for as long as he wanted, but I wanted him here.

Just knowing that he was at least somewhere around seemed more than enough.

I quickly shook my head to get rid of the thoughts my mind produced and walked towards my class surrounded by silence weeping regretful tears.

But I continued to tell myself, it was for the best.

Please don't kill me!

- For updating so late, haha. I almost felt bad writing this all, but again after hardship is ease.

Anyway upcoming chaps will bring... stuff. So keep your tissues ready, chocolate seems nice too. I would love to know your thoughts on this, so don't hold back either.

That's all and well should I apologize? Ha! no..

Lastly, I am so fucking busy, school is kicking my ass and I am back at it again, making mistakes and bad decisions. It's so hard to being me, I swear.

Enough said. Bye now, be safe. When you walk into a room, a healthy, beautiful smile is incredibly important :)

Love, Zee...