"You will really tell me?" I asked still not believing.

"Maybe.. but I know you had a lot of questions right now about what happened today so after you ask me and I answer them." Ha! What a fucking ass liar!

"And here I believed that you will really tell me." I can't believe I really believed him." guess I really should never trust you"

Jason's eyes sadenned at my last statement but it didn't last as he quickly changed the subject trying to cover his affection by my statement.

Did I feel bad for him?

Maybe..

But then again he deserves it.

"Anyways come and sit and ask me whatever you want about today," Jason said tapping the place on the bed beside him.

I went to sit beside him crossing my legs on the bed facing him as he did the same.

"Before you ask anything I want to know something that has been bugging me." I nodded in approval, whatever it is let's get done with.

"Were you a leader or something like that in your gang? I mean you always give orders to Jane and Damon whenever there is something big and they just listen to you." Hmm..wasn't expecting that. Then again I really wasn't expecting anything from him.

"Yeah kinda.." I shrugged not willing to open up more to Him nor notify him about my life back in LA, "By the way, I don't think I need to ask anything I already figured most of it."

"I know, you have always been my smarty panties I just needed a reason to talk to you" Jason arrogantly sugged.

He had always called me my smarty panties but he doesn't have the right to call me by that again.

And he needed a reason to talk to me? What is he up to?

I ignored his remark and continued."so Lindsey is your gang leader, that explains how you knew about me being in a gang." I stated and he nodded as a confirmation that what I said is right.

"I guess Luna is from a rival gang and wanted to date you but you rejected her so she is still hurt by it and thinks that you rejected her for me and came to take her pathetic revenge."

"Yeah that pretty much concludes it.." he nodded."but I really did reject her for you."

Yeah right.

I rolled my eyes."don't fool me, Jason. I am not that desperate."

"I didn't say you are desperate. I swear I never forgot you, I didn't even date nor kissed not even flirted with anyone after you left.." Jason said holding my hands."Mia, you were my everything and still are."

"And now I should fall for that shit?" I scoffed slipping my hand out of his.

"Mia I know you still have feelings for me as much as I do and I already told you I was forced to do what I did to you.."

"Stop! Just stop it, Jason!" I whisper yelled to not wake anyone else and stood up."you don't get to assume how I still feel about you. In fact, I hate you I really do and my love for you is gone after what you did to me.."

"But Mia our last night together wa--"

"Our last night together is the most thing that broke me Jason and i hate it as i hate you." I ran a hand through my hair frustrated." The night before you turned on me that we spent it together at mines is a torture for me every single time i remember it. We confessed our love to each other and took each other's virginity, we were each other's first kiss, each other's first love, we were each other's first thing or that what i thought because the next day i was going to school with my hopes up in the sky thinking that we might be something more than friends after that night.. but what you did after that broke me, made me feel as i was worthless as i was shit that you get to get rid of when you get tired of.. you hurt me hard Jason you really did and i can't forgive you.. not until you tell me the truth. That if there's really a truth!"

"Mia i.. i still love you and that night was one of my best nights, i never forgot it and i didn't touch any other woman except you after that.." he said standing up coming closer to me."things just changed and i was forced to--"

"Then tell me Jason why were you forced to.." i took a step back running a hand through my hair."Fuck!! Just tell me and everything will be good but i just can't trust you easily again when i still can't find a reason for why you hurt me like that."

"I.. I can't Mia" he took a deep breath." I really can't."

"Get out of my room."

"Mia I--"

"Get out!"

He went to the door opening it."I loved you a lot Mia and I still do." Then he left shutting the door behind him.

After I heard the door shut and saw no one in the room; I wanted to cry or scream, but I couldn't.

I have been numb since I left.

I can't cry, I can't let out how I feel anymore.

I didn't even feel sadness all I felt was always anger and hatred.

It was hard.

It is hard.

And with Jason confusing me without giving me a fucking explanation I just get frustrated more with everything than I already am.

I wish I never came back.

I wish Boss never died.

I wish the gang never ended.

I miss being able to feel anything again other than hatred and anger.

But it's already late.

Nothing can be changed.

The past can't be reversed.

₩₩₩

Days passed and Jason couldn't utter a single word to me again after what happened between us.

He sometimes tried to talk to me but I just ignored him harder than before. Whenever he comes sitting in the same place as me I get out of this place and stay away from him.

I couldn't bear sitting with him in the same room.

And Blake always joined me. Somehow Blake and I have gotten closer and he had been telling me so many things about himself.

I, on the other hand, can't trust someone that easily so I tell him just very little things.

And he noticed that I had trust issues but didn't question it.

And that's what I most liked about him.

He still hides important things from me and I can't trust him until he tells me.

Now Blake and I were sitting at the bleachers having our lunch

"So you coming to Perla's party this weekend?" Blake asked gazing at the empty field in front of us.

"Yeah, I guess so. I mean there is no harm in having some drinks and fun right?"

"Yeah, you are right." He nodded chuckling." and I have a surprise for you."

"Really what is it?" I asked thrilled.

I haven't had any happy surprises since...

Okay, I really can't remember the last time that anyone surprised me so I was so fucking excited.

I know childish!

But that's me and my pathetic ass.

"You will find out at the party." He said smiling teasingly at me

"Oh man! i will have to wait that long?" I whined. That's really a bummer.

"That way there will be more suspense." He winked.

"You are such a tease."

"That's why you love me." He winked again.

"Yeah yeah, whatever," I mumbled.

What will the surprise be?

I really can't wait!

Maybe he will finally...?

If he did then that will truly be the best surprise ever.

Because I have been waiting for it like forever.

I hope it is.

I really do.