Curiosity killed the cat.

Tobi wasn't sure what he'd been expecting, but what he'd found certainly wasn't it.

The first page of the notebook was blank, the second had three words written at the top that caused Tobi's heart to skip a beat:

"Tobias Curtis Scheien"

Surely it isn't just about me, Tobi told himself. It must include notes on other patients as well.

He flipped through the pages, looking for other names adorning the headers, but there were none.

The notes took up pages and pages. What on earth could Emilio have to say about him that required a notebook? He opened it to the first page of notes and began to read.

The first few pages were fairly objective, detailing general facts about him-- his name, height, appearance, date of birth, names of a few family members. While slightly surprised by the notes, Tobi figured it wasn't so odd that his nurse had written these things down. Perhaps he was just searching for things that would be good conversation topics (and if it seemed unlikely he would remember that Tobi's favorite candy was black licorice, well maybe he just had a very good memory).

However, as pages went on, more opinions worked their way in more frequently. Tobi found himself somewhere between flattered and a bit unnerved as he read on.

As it turned out, Emilio fancied his eyes. And his smile (and his accent, and the way he deflected with sarcasm, and the far off look he got when he thought, and his interest in darkness, and-- the list went on).

The book strayed farther from notes and it began to feel as though Tobi was reading Emilio's diary. He felt slightly guilty from this invasion of privacy, but his curiosity pushed him to continue reading.

People didn't take too kindly to Tobi. He was sarcastic, pessimistic, and antisocial. But having discovered these honest writings about himself in which the author seemed so enamoured with him-- he couldn't bring himself to stop reading.

"He isn't like other people. He's beautiful. He. Is. Perfect!"

Tobi slammed the book shut. Perhaps he'd read a bit too far.

"You've got a new notebook," the nurse with the shift after Emilio's said. Tobi hadn't noticed her come in, too absorbed by Emilio's writing.

"Yes," Tobi lied.

He would have to replace the book to its original spot between this nurse and the next.

He put the book down next to him and spaced off, not interested in the nurse's ramblings. He tuned her out and immersed himself in thought.

What had Emilio meant by all that? Clearly, he was interested in Tobi, but was he interested in the way a zoologist would be interested in a rare species that had just come into their possession, or was it a different kind of interest? Perhaps a romantic interest.

Tobi entertained the idea. It seemed absurd. People didn't have a romantic interest in him-- not after speaking to him.

Yet, to his knowledge, no one had ever thought of him as perfect before, either.

If it did happen to be a romantic interest, what would he do? Tobi hadn't had a relationship before-- not a healthy, caring one. Would he even be able to maintain one? Did he want one?

He considered Emilio for a moment. Black hair, purple eyes partially hidden behind the glare reflecting off large, circular glasses that were constantly being pushed up the bridge of a freckled nose. A smirk that never revealed what was being thought, a mind that seemed to hold just as many secrets as Tobi's. A mind that thought such wonderful things about Tobi, regardless of how rude he'd been. A mannerism that, despite his better efforts, worked its way past Tobi's defenses and coaxed him into lowering his guard, and-- What did it matter, anyways? Tobi wasn't gay.

Surely he wasn't.

No matter what Mattias thought.

Mattias, Tobi realized. I should consult him about this.

He stood from the bed, earning himself a startled look from the nurse.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"I need to speak with my brother." He started out the door, then paused, suddenly embarrassed.

"Erm. Would you happen to know what room he's in?"

Matias looked up in shock as Tobi entered the room. "I'd started to wonder if you'd forgotten about me," he joked.

"If you wanted to speak to me, why didn't you?"

"I figured you didn't want to talk. It must be important if you're here."

Tobi flushed. "Ah. Yes. Well... Do you remember, Christmas Eve, you asked if I was gay..?"

"You said you weren't," Mattias replied, uncertainly.

"Yes, but--"

"But?" Mattias interjected, looking surprised.

Tobi frowned at being interrupted.

"But, one of my nurses, Emilio--"

"Do you like him?" Mattias interrupted again.

"Yes. No! I don't know." Tobi blushed profusely before continuing, picking his words carefully. "He... said some things, and I'm unsure if he's attracted to me or not."

Mattias tipped his head curiously. "What did he say?'

"Well, that he liked certain aspects about me, my eyes, and smile, and other things."

Tobi hadn't intended to say more, but Mattias's prying gaze caused him to cave in. "And he also said I was 'perfect'," Tobi concluded.

"He said this to you?" Mattias asked, intrigued.

"Well... not directly," Tobi replied evasively.

"What do you mean?"

Tobi flushed and looked away, feeling like a child about to be scolded.

"Tobi?" Mattias pressed, "Did he say these things or not?"

"He wrote them in a notebook and I read it," Tobi admitted, suddenly feeling very ashamed.

Mattias raised his eyebrows, waiting for something more to be said-- the punchline of the joke. He sighed when he realized that Tobi was being quite serious. "You read his diary?"

"It's not a diary!"

"It sure sounded like one."

"What kind of grown man keeps a diary?"

"I don't know, Tobi. What kind of grown man does keep a diary?" Mattias asked slowly.

Tobi realized he was mocking him. "That's a journal, not a diary," he mumbled. "And anyways, it's different."

Mattias made a face.

"Shut up."

"I didn't say any--"

"Shut up! Is he attracted to me or not?"

"I'd say so," Mattias answered finally. "Why? Are you considering seeing him?"

Tobi pictured Emilio again.

"Of course not." He ignored the odd feeling in the pit of his stomach as he said this.

Mattias frowned slightly.

"I don't need--"

"Don't give me that crap," he said. "Maybe you should just try it. What makes you think you're going to hate being in a relationship so much?"

They require being vulnerable, Mattias.

Tobi searched for a snarky response to say instead, but couldn't find one. With that, he turned and walked out the door, going back to his own room.

He sat in thought for a long while. Mattias's words rang in his head. At some point it occurred to Tobi that Mattias may be right. He was the emotional one, having cared for Tobi after he was punished or on bad days. If Mattias felt that he should give Emilio a chance, then perhaps he should follow that advice.

How difficult can it be? he wondered.

A/N Hiya! I'm back! Shocking, I know. Sorry if the formatting is a little different and kinda off, I typed this up on my computer instead of my phone. The title is from "Sugar, We're Goin' Down" by Fall Out Boy. Hopefully the lyrics in the video I put at the top of the page are correct, but then again, with Fall Out Bot, you never know. Now you may be wondering about my updating twice only a few days apart. See, I started reading this fic on AO3 which updates every Monday and it kind of inspired me to try to have a more regular (or just frequent) update schedule. Also, I wanted to have this book finished before BBC's Sherlock series seven comes out. I have this whole book planned out and I'm really excited about it. Now all that stands in my way is school and actually writing!