《Expensive Mistakes》Careful Makin' Wishes in the Dark #1

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(A/N Thank you to @xXx_Ace_xXx for giving me the idea for this chapter!)

Tobi's Journal:

It was dark. My room was barely visible.

I knew, in my mind, what I had to do, but I didn't understand why.

Don't ask questions. Do as you're told, a voice in the back of my mind scolded.

With that, I accepted my mission. Slowly I got out of bed, careful not to wake my brother, Theodore, sleeping soundly just a few feet away. The door creaked slightly as I pushed it open. I held my breath as I listened for sounds of stirring. It was silent. I continued blindly in the dark.

Though I couldn't see, my body moved on its own, taking me to the kitchen.

A light was on in Father's study. I paused in the hall before sneaking past quietly. No one could know what I was doing.

This is wrong, I told myself. You shouldn't be doing this, I told myself.

It is necessary, The Voice said.

Why? I wondered.

No more questions. Do as you're told, The Voice said.

I obeyed.

I understood this Voice was not me. I understood it was greater than me.

Is this a mission from God? I wondered. Father cannot punish me if I am on a mission from God.

The Voice did not reply.

I climbed onto the kitchen counter so that I could reach what I had come for.

Moonlight shone through the window in shafts. It illuminated the object I needed. The large knife gleamed in the dim light. I picked it up and ran the serrated edge along the pad of my thumb. Blood welled up instantly in the cut. I wiped it off on my shirt.

I climbed down from the counter, knife in hand. Gripping it firmly, I walked silently to Mattias's room. I stood over his bed, looking down at his sleeping form-- a dark blob in the shadowy night. I placed one hand on his shoulder, startling him awake.

"Tobi?"

"Come with me, Mattias," I whispered.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

I offered him my hand and he took it reluctantly. I led him through the dark halls of the house. He gripped my hand tightly. I could feel his pulse. It was fast-- much faster than usual. He was scared. So was I. And still, he followed me blindly.

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Stupid, I thought.

I glanced back at him. He rubbed his eyes blearily.

"Tobi, where are you taking me to?" he asked.

I didn't respond for quite some time.

Truthfully, I didn't know. The Voice knew. My body knew. I did not. I followed my feet where they took me.

Stupid, I thought again.

"You'll see," I said eventually because I didn't know what else to say. "You'll see."

We both will.

"Why do you keep saying that, Tobi?" Mattias asked. "Why won't you tell me?" Worry was becoming evident in his voice.

"Do you trust me?" I said.

Mattias hesitated. "Yes."

Stupid.

We didn't say anymore until we got to the front doors of the church.

"We can't leave, Tobi. We'll get in trouble."

"No we won't," I said calmly, pushing a large door open.

Mattias squeezed my hand tighter and moved closer to me. I could feel him trembling.

We stumbled through the woods in the dark, kicking aside twigs and stones with our bare feet. We walked farther and farther into the woods. The deeper we got, the closer together the trees grew until we could no longer see anything. We were led by my instinct alone.

"Tobi, I don't want to do this anymore. I want to go back home-- go back to bed."

I heard Mattias sniffle.

"We're nearly there," I insisted, trying to sound enthusiastic. Mattias didn't say anything.

We stood in silence, listening to the night creatures lurking in the forest.

"What if the monsters get us?" Mattias asked, sounding close to tears.

"They won't," I lied. "I'll protect you."

"O-okay..."

With that, we continued deeper into the woods than we'd ever been.

The woods went on forever. With every yard, the things lurking in the shadows got more dangerous. I was sure we weren't on Earth anymore. This. This was Hell. I sped up the pace.

Finally, when I felt I could walk no more or I would collapse, my feet stopped.

We were here.

Where here was, I couldn't quite tell. A clearing. The trees towered over us-- tall as skyscrapers. They had grown as we walked-- or we'd shrunk. It didn't matter.

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We'd arrived (somewhere in Limbo, I supposed) and the task needed to be completed.

"What do you fear, Mattias? Do you fear death?" I asked.

Mattias seemed taken aback. "I... I've never thought about it," he said.

"Yes you have," I told him. "Do you?"

"A bit," he admitted.

It was unspoken, what needed to be done, but my brother seemed to understand finally.

"Does it... Will it hurt?" he asked.

I looked at my knife, reflecting the moonlight off of it. "Yes," I said simply.

"But maybe-- maybe it's best. Best to be with Heaven, I mean. I won't fall asleep there. I can stay awake forever and not have to worry about my narcolepsy," reasoned Mattias.

"Heaven won't find you," I said. "Not here. You'll wish you could fall asleep and escape it all."

Mattias remained quiet, stunned into silence. I listened to him as he sat down. I heard him begin to cry. I remained with my back turned to him, staring out into the darkness as I let him spend his tears.

Finally, he had shed all his tears and could no longer cry. I turned and faced him as he stood.

"Why?" he asked quietly.

"Because I was told to," I replied. Somewhere along the way I had realized that this was not a mission from God.

He seemed to accept this and squeezed his eyes shut, bracing himself for pain he couldn't imagine. I breathed in, studying my knife a bit more before driving it deep into my brother's stomach. His cry rang throughout the clearing, echoed by the wind's moans, but got no farther as it was eaten up by the darkness.

Good, The Voice praised as Mattias slumped to the floor in front of me, blood pooling around him and being drunk up by the soil.

I did not feel proud. I did not feel good. I did not feel anything. I tried to feel guilt, grief, remorse, pity, anything at all, but I forgot what it was like to feel.

With nothing but my hands, I dug a hole-- a grave. I dug until it was large enough to fit Mattias's small, frail corpse-- dug until my fingernails were cracked and my hands were bleeding. I did not feel pain. Which one was pain? I deposited Mattias into his grave and covered it up. Then I turned and left. I walked back through the forest-- walked until I saw the church again. I entered quietly and went straight to Father's study. The light was still on.

Good.

I shuffled to the doorway. I was covered in dirt, sweat, and blood. I was dimly aware that I was exhausted. Very, very dimly. My knife dripped Mattias's blood on the floor.

"Father," I said.

My father turned, surprised. His eyes widened when he saw me there, dirty, covered in blood, clutching a knife so tightly my knuckles had gone white. He rushed to me, fury burning in his eyes. I dropped the knife and collapsed.

Rest for now, The Voice said as the world faded to black.

A/N Hiya guys! Bet you didn't expect to see me back so soon, huh? I'm really proud of this chapter, actually. I'm not a very spooky person, but I did my best. Chapter title from Fall Out Boy's "My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark (Light 'Em Up)". I'm excited to inform you all that I've actually done something useful with my life and plotted the book out (or, well, I've started to). We're looking at around 30 chapters! I know, I'm as impressed as you are. Though I have most of the basics down, I am looking for ideas still. If any of you have any cute fluff/date situations, please comment them or message me because I'd love to hear them (seriously. Help a girl out)! Thank you so much for reading. Your comments absolutely make my day and they're half of the reason I haven't given up yet (the other half being fear that my girlfriend will kill me if I don't complete this).

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