(Long Chapter!)

Songs:

Paralyzed – NF

Broken – Anson Seabra

You're Somebody Else – Flora Cash (Acoustic)

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"Ma, tengo miedo." A small Y/N cried to her mom when she was tucking her into bed. Her small cheeks sunken into a pout. She was holding onto a lily for dear life. One she was gifted earlier that day when her parents came back from work. She always did like sleeping with them.

"Porque tienes miedo Y/N?" her mother asked sweetly, running her hands down Y/Ns puffed out cheeks.

"La mama de Rosie no ha regresado... tu no me vas a dejar verdad?"

"Claro que no mi niña preciosa. Voy a estar contigo por un buen rato. Y cuando llegue el tiempo de yo irme, siempre estaré aquí." Her mother pointed to her heart, and then tickled her tummy, making her laugh and get out of the sadden mood she was in.

Oh, how the times have changed.

How much did she wish she could back to the times when she was still in her hometown and the world didn't feel like it was ending?

Y/N's heart felt like it was ripping in two. The aching whole in her heart engulfing her solely, making a ripple effect of agonizing pain wave from her to those around her. Her quirk, after seeing one of her loved ones die, becoming unhinged. She always questioned how her quirk had been related to Hizashi, and now she got her answer. She knew that using her vocal cords by humming she could make her smoke intensify. And just like Hizashi could use his voice in wavelengths to hit his target. Y/N's empath aspect of her quirk was waving off her too. Like invisible sound waves, though instead of sound waves, they were waves of her emotions.

Of her heart ache.

And at the moment, she didn't care how it affected those people around her. For the life of her, she could not control her suffering. How could she? After witnessing Nemuri die in her arms, how would she ever recover?

Right now, she couldn't. She only had one thought.

Nemuri was dead.

The caring older woman who took her with open arms. Who was ecstatic of meeting her.

Was gone.

The person she was supposed to have a mother/daughter day after the festival.

Y/N begged the universe to just take her back. Take her back to a couple of hours ago before all this unfolded. Take her back to where she could have more time. Where she could still receive Nemuri's crazy texts and photos she would take of random 'hot men' when she was working at night. Asking Y/N if they looked good enough for her. Nemuri was a little sex driven and crazy at times yes, but she had grown a special place in Y/N's heart. In those crazy texts there were always glimpses of how much she truly cared for the h/c haired young woman. Giving her advice when she felt stuck. Y/N was still young, and though, yes – she was very wise at times, she always sought out a parent's advice. She did get it a lot from Aizawa, mainly, fatherly advice. However, Nemuri had been the one to fill in the void of Y/N's late mother.

The worst part of all of this, was how connected she felt with Nemuri.

Yeah, she may not have been her biological mother. But in a way she was. Her DNA was mixed with hers in all those experiments when she was younger, done by Garaki – which is why she had the quirk she did now. Y/N never got the chance to train with her mom in Mexico, with her telepath quirk. And she felt extremely lucky that even though her first mother was taken from her.

She was gifted with Nemuri.

However, her luck wouldn't last long, and she should have known. All she wanted was to go back and be with her. Spend more time with her.

Her throat felt tight. As though a stubborn hard knot was stuck. Unable to swallow down the pain. Her chest felt constricted like she couldn't breathe.

Why was it so hard to breathe?

Y/N and Nemuri were both given a second chance at having a mother/daughter relationship. Clearly Nemuri wanted children, but she never had the time to have one, or find the right person to have one with. Now her dream would never come true...

Y/N lost her mother in Mexico. And now...

How unfortunate, that this too had to be taken from them.

Crying out, unfiltered, she unleashed the damn she'd been holding back all these years. All those times, she felt the paranoia sensation of wanting to claim her heart when she thought of her mother. The lively bright smile, the shiny h/c hair. The crinkle in her eyes when she would laugh. Even if she was young and couldn't remember a lot. There were some things she would never forget. She may not remember what her mother and father looked like anymore – with all the years of not seeing them, but she would never forget the feeling she got when she was embraced by them. And when Aizawa, Nemuri, Hizashi, Mitsuki and Masaru gave their embraces freely, she felt like her mom and father were there again.

Alive, with her.

Not gone.

How cruel for the world to give her more people to love, only to yank them away. And in a moment, she did not expect it for it to happen either. She had been blinded by Tenko still being alive and in front of her.

Her and Nemuri had plans together.

Now, their time would forever be frozen. As though looking at an unfinished painting. It would never grow and bloom to what it was meant to be.

And it was all because of him...

All for One and his followers.

He not only hurt her, her whole life. Taking her away from her own town, while destroying it and leaving no one alive in the process. Forcing her to go into the horrible experiments that changed her. Because even if he did not hold the blade, he was the voice Garaki followed and prayed to like a God.

Taking Tenko for his own gains and completely changing him.

And it didn't stop there.

No, AFO had also touched Izuku's life. Trying to take a part of him, that belonged to him now. He forced Tenko to become a villain, who kidnapped Katsuki in his first year at U.A, and he was still traumatized by it. He was even the reason why Touya was still going after Shoto and his family. The reason why All-Might could no longer be a hero – sacrificing himself and who he used to be, to save the people of Japan, and many more he saved along the way of his career.

Yes, Tenko had a part in all of this.

Still, AFO had been the mastermind behind all this chaos.

The numbing part of her quirk, the one she had been ignoring all these years finally took over her sanity and her heart. Welcoming her in a warm embrace that she so desperately wanted to escape to. It was all too much to handle in one blow. Her brain was fighting against her emotions to keep her sane. To keep her here, but the pain had become too much.

Walking like a robot with no emotions or remorse – she grabbed villains, from left to right, and broke them down like nothing. Telling those students still in their grasp to run away with no emotion in her voice whatsoever. Using her quirk or just her fists. She didn't care. She didn't care that along with whoever she broke and hurt; she was also hurting herself. And losing herself in all of this mess. She wanted the emotion of losing someone, gone for good.

How many more?

How many more people did she have to lose? Why was it that just when things got good for her, it was like a joke to the universe, and it got worse...

Reminding her, that there is only pain in this world.

She hated to play the victim. But why? Was there a reason to all the pain she had to go through?

Can someone just... take it all away.

"P-please s-stop..." She ignored the plea of the villain in her grasp.

Her face devoid of all emotion as she heard a sickening crack come from the arm she bent backwards. They cried out in agony, and Y/N tilted her head as if staring at the most uninteresting thing in the world. Staring at a bug that was only in her way.

This person was weak and didn't know real pain.

Real pain always came from within. Piercing the heart first, until it bled out. Real pain came from the soul. Bones could heal, yes, they would be weak.

Still, the heart and the soul...

It was like a porcelain cup. If dropped, it would never be the same again. And she felt those cracks in her heart spread like wildfire. Is this what her father had to deal with as a full empath? Did he always have to work against his own quirk and feelings when his heart would break?

The most painful thought was... she would never know either.

She didn't know if someone helped him train with his quirk, but she sure as hell did not have anyone that could help her.

The person that could help her with her telepath was gone. The person that could help her with her empath was gone. And now the one person that could help her with her smoke was gone now too.

She couldn't lose anymore.

No more...

Grunting with annoyance, she pushed past her limiting sensors. Past the headache and light sensitivity. Past the watercolor vision, past the burning in her eyes. She acknowledged her eyes were bleeding because they sure did not feel like tears. Still, she didn't care. She wanted to deal with the physical pain rather than the pain of losing someone else again.

Getting another villain who was scrambling away from her grasp on the ground. She picked them up as though they weighed nothing and blew her purple smoke to their face, trapping their mind. Being at her full mercy.

Her mind went to darker places, and she couldn't control herself when only one thought popped into her mind. If this person didn't exist, if all these villains didn't exist. If AFO didn't exist.

Today wouldn't have happened. Nemuri would still be alive.

Still connected to her, Shoto, Katsuki and Izuku felt everything. Every dark thought, every villainous intent in ending the life of the person she had in her grasp. They didn't feel scared of her. If anything, it hurt to know how much suffering their lover was going through. Breaking at the seams and not be able to do anything about it. Since her quirk was still on, they felt rooted to the ground. It was like that time when she had a panic attack in the hallway. And besides Izuku was still in Tomura's grasp so it's not like he could move either.

"Why do you get to live?! Huh?" She shook them while in her hands. "What have you done that has helped people? What have you done to be worthy of taking another breath?" Y/N hissed... and getting a cynical idea that came from deep within her. With a snarl – while eyes burned scarlet and blowing her purple smoke, she called out. "Hold your breath until I say so."

The person in her tight hold had no other choice but to obey. When using her purple smoke, no one could deny Y/N's request.

No one.

Wind blew her hair strands softly out of her face. A contrast to what she was feeling inside. It was so gentle... she, however, felt like killing everyone that harmed her loved ones.

"Yes!" Tomura called out in excitement from behind her. Forcing Izuku to watch while he tried his best to navigate from the pain. "Take his life, he's not worth anything. Join me Y/N and you can get your revenge on everyone..."

"Amor please look at me..." Shoto called to her mind, it was easy to reach her with having her quirk activated. "Revenge won't do anything for you, but make things worse..." Still on the ground he pushed himself past the pain. Reaching her, his hand grasped her ankle. And Shoto couldn't help the fear and shiver that went through him when her menacing scarlet eyes seemed darker.

As if no one home...

He wasn't scared of what she could do to him. No, he knew Y/N would never hurt him. He was scared that Y/N would no longer be his Y/N. That all the pain in her life had finally broken her. His morning light was dying out and that hurt him so much more than the pain she could cause him.

She didn't deserve this...

"Let him go amor, you're not a murderer. You're are kind and gentle. Caring and patient. You're not a monster, my blue lily. Please let him go." Shoto's breath hitched when he saw an image flash in his mind. An image of when Y/N was younger, huddled, scared and alone in a foreign room to her. Softly crying for her mom and dad. Shoto couldn't stop the tears from forming in his eyes. Seeing his love, his future, so lost that her mind reverted back to when she was alone. "You're not alone Y/N..." he pleaded to her. "Not anymore... I'm right here." He spoke gently into her mind. He saw how she shook her head and bloody tears were cascading down her lovely face and tainting her cheeks.

Refusing to accept his help. To accept any help, from anyone.

She was overusing her quirk. Today had been too much. He knew Y/N wasn't ready to face off with Tomura. If she did now, with the loss, the taunting and her quirk working against her.

Shoto just knew she wasn't going to make it out.

"I-it hurts..." She whimpered. As sliver of who she was pushing past the pain to speak to him.

"I know amor... I'm here for you... please let me help you." Shoto pleaded again.

Y/N letting Shoto's soothing voice bring her back from her dark thoughts. With whatever control she had left, breathing through the panic attack that wanted to come out. She controlled her emotions, shuddering breaths leaving her lips. It was enough control, even if just a little. One Shoto helped with by bringing her back from the brink of no return.

She reined in her dark thoughts and intent. Whispering to the villain who was close to deaths door. "Breathe..."

He fell from her grasp like a sack of potatoes, while whimpering in pain and gasping for air. Having a coughing fit after being deprived of oxygen.

With shaking hands and tears. She pressed on pressure points, instantly knocking the villain out. Shoto had taught her long ago how to subdue someone in a much gentler way. Because even if today proved otherwise, Y/N never wanted to hurt anyone.

"NO!" Tomura, in a much deeper tone that belonged to AFO, yelled displeased. "Show them what you really are! Show them what I created! Let them FEAR YOU!!"

He wanted Y/N to be outcasted by those who were protecting her, and she had to kill, for them to throw her in Tartarus. For AFO to take her for himself. However, there was one problem. Y/N had too many people that cared for her. She had to bask in the darkness that was seeping out of her slowly so AFO could swoop in and take her, like he had done with Tenko.

However, Y/N ignored him. Helping Shoto from the cradling position he was in, she whispered a small thank you. Shoto only had enough strength to squeeze her hand in reassurance. Her quirk had exhausted him.

Leaning down, she took a small knife that was strapped to the villain, who she unceremoniously dropped to the ground. With remorse she whispered an apology even though they were no longer conscious to hear it. Closing her eyes, and taking a deep breath, she concentrated and felt where Izuku was, feeling where his body ended and begin. It was easy to tell since she connected with him. Like a burning light of his essence that guided her through the dark. She could also see in her mind's eye where Katsuki was, and a flickering light of where Shoto stood next to her. It made since his light would only flicker since she hasn't connected with him yet. She figured that's why his light didn't burn as brightly as her other boyfriends.

She also wondered if this was a part of her empath and telepath quirk working together?

Taking a deep breath, she threw the knife with precision and calm demeanor towards Tomura who was holding Izuku. Of course, scaring Shoto a little when he saw what she did. However, he didn't have to worry because Y/N's shot had gone in her favor. Perfectly hitting Tomura on the hand that was holding Izuku still.

Katsuki taking the opportunity his girlfriend created. Was easily able to take his best friend from Tomura's grasp when he tumbled over in shock. Picking up Izuku once he was dropped and with heavy steps. Pushing himself and using raw strength, to get them both away from Tomura who was snarling at the four of them on the ground. It was a nuisance to Katsuki, to not be able to use his quirk, because of the smoke he had inhaled.

However, that's not what had Katsuki so worried. He was able to move more freely now, with the pain in his heart dulling out. Because his girlfriend – who had learned how to mask her emotions from them long ago, put a wall up to help them. However, this also meant she effectively shut them out. Not being able to know what she was feeling.

"Pathetic." Tomura spit out in anger, cradling his hand. "You could have finished me, but you would rather protect him over finishing me off. You don't have enough hate in you... but you will. I'll make sure of it." Y/N didn't have to guess that everything that was spuing out of her best friend was coming from AFO still.

However, she couldn't stop herself from taking a step forward in a defensive manner.

Shoto, however, put a stop to that quick. Grasping her arm tightly to keep her beside him. "No, not today Y/N."

In a monotone voice Y/N spoke, "We can't let him leave... and we need to get Kyoka back."

"As if you'll ever get her back... she could already be dead. Himiko likes to play a lot with her pets." Tomura taunted.

At hearing that another person could be dead had Y/N close her eyes to give her a moment and not completely lose it again. She was still breaking at the seams, but she would be suffering alone. She wasn't going to harm anymore. Especially not the people she cares for. However, Izuku – ever the hero, didn't let her think she was alone for even just a moment. He limped over the small distance between them, clutching onto his chest from the left over feeling of her heart ache.

Looking at his kind green eyes, even though she couldn't see them in detail, she knew it was him. Y/N closed her eyes in shame. She lost control. And him, Shoto and Katsuki were hurt because of it. How many more people had to get hurt or die because of her?

And how afoul did it feel facing off with her first love, while she was supported by her three lovers.

"Why does my quirk not affect you like it should?" She asked to Tomura who kept eyeing the way, Izuku held on to her hand. How Shoto kept his hand on her shoulder for support. All while Katsuki towered behind them in a protective manner.

"Did you forget all the experiments they did on you. How your blood, was taken to make an antidote? Though it looks like it's not as affective with the way today went."

"How could I forget those experiments... Did you enjoy watching from behind the scenes while they tortured me?" She asked him bluntly.

She hoped this would reach her Tenko and looking at the way he flinched, she knew that it did. It was a whiplash to speak with someone, who was hosting two people inside. She didn't know who she was really speaking with. Still, she hoped that Tenko would be able to hear her somehow.