《Dreamscape (ReaderxMidoriyaxBakugouxTodoroki)》31. You're Not A Monster
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(I just love them working together! Credit goes to the artist for the pic!)
When Y/n opened her eyes, they were still so close to each to other. Foreheads touching, uneven breaths coming from him and her. Vermillion eyes stared into her e/c ones, flickering back and forth from her eyes to her lips.
It was tempting for Katsuki to kiss her then and there. The frustration from the morning and now, kicking in. However, he was a patient man in certain situations, preferring not to rush into things. Especially into something like this. He would wait patiently for the right time. It would come. This connection between them was so much more than just a simple hook up he was accustomed to.
His dormant heart felt alive for the first time in a very long time.
After what happened the last time, he was in a relationship he's been avoiding them like a plague. Only satisfying his carnal needs with simple one-night stands. Because even then, he wouldn't let his desires deter him from becoming the number one hero.
However, now with Y/n standing merely inches away from him he wondered what a relationship would be like with her. She always put others before herself, that was a no brainer. She was a selfless person. Sometimes too much, just like Izuku.
That was not the case with his ex-girlfriend though.
Always the one to reach out first, Katsuki was more the giver than the receiver, and for a while he was okay with that. However, with the way things ended between them, the relationship was not something he liked to reminisce.
And he almost lost a friend that day too. He saw him like a brother. Though he would never admit it to him. Torn between wanting to kill him and cry, he was glad they were able to move past the wedge his ex-girlfriend tried to make between them. And it took most of their second year to move past it too. They silently promised to never let someone come between them ever again.
Katsuki still had trust issues with girls who got close to him. His friends always tried to find rebounds for him, but he refused. He spent so many nights, locked up in his room after the night his heart was broken. The daily routine, of school, work studies, gym and then dorms – ingrained into him and becoming the new normal. His friends attempting and failing to get him out of the crazy routine, until finally Eijirou snapped at him.
Looking at Y/n, Katsuki saw the uncertainty reflect in her flickering scarlet and e/c eyes. Almost like a raging storm, torn between wanting to give in or fight off whatever this meant between them. He could feel her confusion and frustration run wild within him.
Letting the rational part of herself win Y/n lightly pushed herself from his grasp slightly fanning her flushed face.
"Sooo... um... you got any tips?" She was nervous, her voice wavering with uncertainty.
With heart aching and lower regions tingling, Y/n sighed out her frustration, both begging her to do something about it. However, still refusing to do anything right now, she decided to focus on her quirk issue instead.
She wanted to talk with her sister first, Rosalinda always gave the best advice.
After calming his fast-beating heart. With eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed almost in pain. Katsuki's words were barely above a whisper, "You need to control your quirk. I made most of the decisions, except when I gave you some control. Now it makes sense how Shigaraki was able to force you to relive your memories. I'm still not sure how he's connected to you. Though it makes sense to assume he was in charge the whole time."
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At the mention of the mysterious man. Y/n felt cold chills prickle her skin. Remembering a reason why she couldn't just jump into whatever this was between her and Katsuki.
Well, with any of them, really.
"We'll start with you taking control over these sessions. I'll let you into my mind, just don't poke around into anything else other than landscapes you make. I was told by Aizawa sensei, people with telepathic quirks can do that."
Katsuki warned her seriously, he didn't want her to see things he would rather keep to himself.
"From what I saw, yours does the same thing. Except when I was pushed in, all I saw was white until I started to think of things myself, then you appeared. Almost like a dream unfolding itself. I'm guessing you haven't used it much; you're letting the other person be in charge for you. We need to train you to oversee everything. If not, your own quirk can be used against you."
Nodding her head solemnly, Y/n now understood why Izuku and Shouto had more control of her quirk than she did from her morning experiment.
"What about the other parts of my quirk?"
Katsuki rubbing his temples kept his eyes closed. A headache starting to form, just like that time she went into his mind in the club – when they first met. "You, said the purple smoke is to hypnotize and the pink is to drug right? How do you make them come out?"
"The purple smoke I blow it from my mouth, not sure why. Also, it changes the pitch of my voice. Humming makes it bigger..."
Katsuki nodded for her to continue. Noting how the smoke part of her quirk was a mix of Present Mic and Midnight's quirk.
"The pink smoke comes from my sweat, hence why Shouto wanted me to be drenched in it, by the time it was your turn. When I use the part of my quirk to drug, the sweat starts to turn into pink smoke. The more I have, the wider of a range it can spread to."
Humming already knowing how her quirk worked, Katsuki nodded. "I see, you also mentioned the smoke can cancel out people's quirks. Like Aizawa sensei's quirk does?"
"Mhm, if someone is inside the smoke or inhales it, it erases the quirk. Not physical strength though." Y/n grimaced at the thought of the time she was forced to use her quirk on a guard at the club. The guard almost beat her to death, according to Garaki it was done for 'studying purposes.'
"How do you know all of this, if you weren't allowed to use your quirk?" Katsuki's vermillion eyes narrowed in worry.
He wasn't questioning her because he doubted her. Not anymore, Y/n had no malice or ill intent. With how he was connected to her emotions he would be able to tell. So far, there hasn't been anything. And it's not like Y/n knew how to control her emotions through her quirk. Hence why they felt everything she did.
Y/n wasn't a liar that was obvious.
Fidgeting under his questioning stare, Y/n pulled on her fingers nervously. There was still a lot of things, they didn't know about. Sure, the heroes got her and everyone else out, and they knew the main issues of what was happening at the club. Still, they didn't know about the after-hours shows.
What she was forced to do.
What happened to get the people who came out, to act the way they did afterwards, killing themselves in the process. There was only so many she could save. Unfortunately, there was also a lot, she knew died in the process.
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It traumatized her to no end, during those times she detached herself from her emotions, from reality. Though it was hard to do so. The only thing that kept her sane, were her siblings and friends.
Katsuki could see the shame in her eyes. Sighing heavily, he bit the inside of his cheek. "Tch... listen shitty girl, you don't have to tell me now. I understand you did things to survive, to keep those you care for alive. We don't blame you for any of it."
He told her as gently as he could, though there was a bite to his tone. He wasn't angry at her, however, angry at the life she's had.
"Preferably sooner than later, I still need to know to assess how advanced your quirk is. It's like working out a muscle, the more you use it, tears, and heals, the more it will grow. I understand you're not comfortable talking about it. However, this is a step you're going to have to take."
"It's just..." Her eyes shined scarlet, starting to panic for how he might feel about her once he learned the truth. "There are things that I don't like to think about...but I get it, I'll tell you soon I promise."
Y/n looked up from her fingers to his eyes, her now e/c eyes shining with determination to finally move on from that place in her life.
He was glad she wanted to do this for herself. There was only so much they could push her to move on. She needed to take the first step.
Katsuki smiled; a genuine one she hasn't seen before from him. He was always scowling or had an angry resting face, and this right here was something worth remembering. Katsuki looked at her quizzically as her eyes lit up more.
"What?"
Y/n biting her bottom lip tried to contain her grin, "I really like your smile... You should do it more often. It looks good on you."
Katsuki's eyes widen slightly. His signature scowl trying and failing to overtake his softened features. "Don't give me that look darlin. You're making this harder than it already is." He whispered, however, shaking his head to stay focused. His vermillion eyes flaring with something she didn't recognize. "Come on, I want you to use your purple and pink smoke on me."
Y/n eyes almost bulged out. Coming up with scenarios of her quirk harming him, she shook her head rapidly at his request. "Are you insane?! The purple smoke is fine, but no the pink one. You will be drugged with the pink one. I won't do that to you-"
"Will it harm me?" He let a small smile graze his lips again, his heart skipping a beat. It was obvious that she cared for him too, and he liked how flustered she was acting.
"N-no, it won't but it is like a really, really, strong drug. An addicting one too... The more you're exposed to it, the more you'll want it. You'll be like that for who knows how lon-"
Katsuki got closer to her, making her face heat up at the proximity, successfully stopping her mid rant. He cupped her face with his hand before she could escape and tugged gently on her bottom lip with his thumb. Releasing its confinement from her teeth.
Tugging her chin upwards, her lips almost touched his, making her inhale sharply. Eyes wide and cheeks burning crimson, her heart felt like it was about to explode, something he also felt.
Smirking and keeping eye contact, he blew his words softly against her lips. "You worry too much..." tilting his head to the side, he studied her reaction towards him as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. "The nerd will be here any minute now. I'm sure if I become too much to handle, he'll take me to my dorm."
Y/n swallowed thickly, slightly nodding. Not wanting to move too much, because one wrong move and their lips would touch.
"I trust you. We all trust you. You need to start trusting yourself. I'm not going to pretend to know what you endured in that place. Looking at the way you're reacting. I can tell you're scared. I want you to realize you are in the safest place possible to use your quirk. I've been doing this for many years Y/n. I know what you need,let me help you. I'm not saying it to sound cocky, but it's the truth. I have experience..."
Flames igniting in her heart, her eyes moved from one to the other of his vermillion ones. Trying to decipher if he truly meant what he said. Trust was a big word. It held many unspoken promises.
"I'm not sure why Shouto was debating to leave me alone with you..." she noticed how he kept fixating on her lips as she spoke, almost in a trance.
"He knows, I'm not normally a patient person."
Katsuki and Y/n didn't realize how the distance between their lips kept thinning. Afraid to fully close the gap, however, not stopping as the distance began to close dangerously.
"However, my patience is running thin..." He didn't even know if he was talking about her quirk anymore. Completely forgetting of the mental promise, he made to himself to be more patient with this.
His eyes began to close when their lips lightly grazed.
Y/n still confused of her feelings, stopped their advances by letting the purple smoke from her quirk come out of her lips, blowing it softly into his parted lips.
Katsuki's half-lidded eyes instantly dilated.
With a heavy sigh, and aching heart Y/n took a step back.
Katsuki looked dazed, almost in a trance. This was different than the first time she used her quirk on him in the bathroom. She had used her telepathic quirk to see into his mind, using the purple smoke to hypnotize him a little to make it easier and not have him resist. The same thing she did with Izuku and Shouto when she first met them.
Now she was only activating the purple smoke from her quirk. To her it felt almost like pressing a button of which aspect she wanted to use.
Still, she hated using this part.
All the patrons she was forced to use it on while in the club, made them into puppets. Free will was a big issue for her, and she felt like a hypocrite when she took it from others. Being able to take it away from someone, specially someone she cared about, disgusted her. However, Katsuki was right. To be able to control her quirk, and not have it used against her, she needed to use it. Practice with it.
Putting her feelings aside for now, she focused on him.
Katsuki seemed relaxed in this state, the usual tension radiating from him completely gone. Tense shoulders slacking, once she let the purple smoke fully engulf his mind. She wanted to use her telepathic quirk to see what he was thinking but shook her head from the thought. She had to practice just with this aspect of her quirk.
To understand it, not be forced into it by fear or pressure.
Taking a deep breath to stable herself she stared at his vermillion eyes and hummed, intensifying the smoke around him. The smoke slowly seeping into his skin, most of it disappearing once he was fully under her control. She could still see the remnants of her smoke around him, signaling her quirk was still active.
"Katsuki?" She called to him carefully.
Her sultry voice rang in his head, changing pitch as she used her quirk. He felt like he was underwater, almost floating from the sensation. Her voice echoing everywhere around him. He attempted to fight it off. However, it was a harder task than he realized. He felt stuck, like he was in a sleep paralysis. He knew he was awake, but his body wasn't. He was no longer in control.
He could feel every movement she made around him, and his vision seemed foggy.
"Please tell me you're, okay?" He heard Y/n's voice quiver in fear for his wellbeing.
He could hear the desperation in her voice too. He wanted to reassure her, to ease her worry. However, his mind was completely under her control. He couldn't show any emotion even if he wanted to.
"I am." His baritone voice sounded flat, lacking his usual fire.
Y/n sighed, relieved he was able to answer her. It seemed he was in no pain, which she was grateful for. However, after the relief came panic, she didn't know what to do from here.
Normally, she was told what to have people do or have them say when she was at the club. Her panic kicked in a few notches, as her mind kept coming up blank. And there was no way in hell she was going to force him, to do the monstrous things she was used to forcing on others.
She was about to breathe her quirk back into herself when she felt a presence behind her.
"Don't. Keep going." The soft voice of Izuku came from behind her, his hands landing gently on her tense shoulders. Rubbing small circles, to ease some of her panic. "You're doing great, just have him do simple commands, nothing more. You're not a monster Y/n. He trusts you."
Y/n turned slightly to the sound of Izuku's sweet encouraging voice.
Her eyes lingered on his outfit. Izuku looked good dressed in all black. Black shirt, with short sleeves and black sweats stretched out from his toned legs. His green hair and emerald eyes popping more from the contrast of the color. The freckles she liked so much, adorning his cheeks perfectly. She mentally had to stop herself from tracing them with her hand.
His eyes gleamed, nodding at her to continue using her quirk. No resentment lingering from the morning's events, in his eyes.
"I thought you weren't going to show up..." her voice trailed off, sounding small and unsure.
Izuku felt guilty. He didn't want her to feel uncertainty from him, never that. He promised he would always be there, and he was going to live up to that promise. However, he had a moment of weakness.
What happened in the morning frightened him. He needed some distance to decipher his feelings. Wanting to know if it was the remnants of her quirk in him or truly him, who craved her. It was too soon, he knew that. However, when you connect with someone time doesn't matter.
Time is a manmade concept, and everyone moves at their own time and pace. He understood his feelings now and he wouldn't be leaving her side again. He was still scared, him and Ochako ended their relationship not that long ago. Still, he wouldn't fight it anymore. He cared for Y/n, whatever that meant for them both, he would deal with it when the time came.
"I needed to clear my mind, but I'm here now." Izuku smiled apologetically.
With his big green eyes begging for forgiveness. Furrowed eyebrows and bottom lip caught in between his teeth in worry. How could she refuse him?
Y/n lightly giggled. Her worries of him avoiding her from earlier disappearing along with the awkward tension between them.
Izuku visibly relaxed after hearing her laugh, knowing he was forgiven. Though he felt unworthy of it.
She felt relieved he was there with her. Though that relief only lasted for a moment, knowing she shouldn't be depending on either of them all the time. She wasn't a child and she needed to start taking care of herself. Hopefully she wouldn't need them once she was able to take control of her quirk herself. She hated to feel like a burden to others.
"Stop that, it's okay to depend on people. Now go on..." Izuku's soft voice reassured her.
Right away disagreeing with the way she was feeling about herself. It was almost eerie how fast he was able to discern her emotions with their connection. Still, with Izuku, she felt safe. He always made her feel safe.
"Right..." determined Y/n took a deep breath and turned towards Katsuki again, who kept his eyes on her the whole time. Waiting for his next command. "Katsuki, walk to the wall behind you and then come back to the same spot."
After the instruction left her lips, immediately he did as he was told with no resistance. Izuku noticed how robotic, Katsuki was acting. There were no snarky remarks, no rolling eyes, or signature scoffing. No emotion whatsoever reflected on his face, almost like the perfect soldier.
Izuku now understood why Y/n was so dangerous. If she would've been left at the club, what else would they've made her do?
What were they planning with her? And why did Shigaraki want her so badly?
They didn't know much.
The heroes didn't have all the details before the mission, only the important information they needed to get them out. Rushing to save Y/n and everyone else. Deciding not to question what else the villains did to her when they got involved, because saving her was top priority at the time.
Still, he could imagine those villains threatening Y/n's family. Forcing her to use her quirk on people.
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