"What happened to Agent Briggs?" Fury asked after everyone had disembarked from the jet and into the Helicarrier proper. One of the agents was dragging the mummified agent, who was apparently named Briggs. The agents all looked away, unwilling to answer Fury's question on what happened.

"He insulted my lady," Loki replied, his arm wrapped possessively around you. You leaned up to kiss his cheek reassuringly. You were alive and well; as happy as you could be when you'd prefer to be at home, but you'd take what you could get.

Fury's eyebrow rose. "How is he still alive?" he asked suspiciously. It wasn't like Loki to let someone insult you without a very high payment for it.

Loki smirked and kissed your hair. "Because my lady punished him sufficiently on her own," his voice was full of pride, which you saw just seemed to make Fury even more concerned.

"And every single member of the Avengers 'accidentally'," the agent speaking made the air quotes "kicked and stepped on him on the way out. Except Lady Sigyn of course," he added, nodding to you.

You shrugged at Fury's look. "I already did enough defending my honor,"

"Again. How is he still alive?" Fury asked with a glance at Loki.

"My darling would not let me kill him," Loki finally grumbled with a hint of a whine in his tone. That wasn't true, but you saw what he was doing and didn't call him on the lie. SHIELD had the awful tendency of believing that Loki was a heartless monster who was uncontrollable and just wanted to take over the world. They were wrong of course. Granted, he was vicious when angered and had a possessive streak, but he was also a good man. SHIELD wasn't likely to change their opinion of him anytime soon, but you? You were a tiny adorable healer who could be reasoned with. You were also one of the few people Loki actually liked and one of the fewer people (or the only one on Midgard besides his brother, and that was rare) that he listened to. He was setting you up as even more important, telling them flat out that you could control him. He was making sure you were safe by showing SHIELD how important you were. Sneaky Trickster.

You weren't about to ruin his work either, so you leaned up and kissed his cheek again. "There's no need to kill him, love. He didn't do anything more than say something crude,"

"He openly threatened your honor," Loki protested, taking a step toward the bound man.

"And I punished him for it. I'm not some weak little mortal you need to protect," you reminded him firmly. He looked like he was going to argue and you saw the glint in his eye. This was part of the game, so you stepped out from his possessive grip and turned to face him, pointing a finger at his face. "Behave," you told him firmly.

He sighed heavily and took your hand to bow over it and kiss your knuckles. "Very well...this time," he said as he began to rise from his bow. You kissed him lightly before he could rise all the way, then turned your attention back to Fury.

Fury seemed to accept the show, or at least didn't feel like commenting on it, which was a good thing. "Agent Romanoff, show Loki and Sigyn around and to their room. The rest of you should know your way around. Assessments begin in an hour," Fury ordered. You had a feeling he was tired of your antics already. Boy, was he in for a surprise. This was nothing. Tony and Bruce were already heading to the lab, completely ignoring Fury as they discusses some science project that they needed SHIELD's tech for. Cap went with Fury to the bridge for a debrief. Clint was just...gone. You suspected the air vents.

Nat gave you a tour of the airship, including the bridge, the lab which currently held the science bros, the containment cell where you'd find Loki if he got caught causing trouble, the rec room, and the Avengers common room in the middle of all of their bedrooms. She finally showed you your room. "We told Fury you'd prefer bunking together," Nat explained at the fact that she was leading you to only one room. That was smart, especially with Loki's powers bound. You weren't planning on leaving him on his own. "Get changed and meet us on the bridge," Nat told you and turned to head to her own room to get ready.

"Why can't we wear our own gear?" you whined as you opened the door to your room. The room was simple, smaller than the bedrooms at the tower, really nothing more than a bed and dresser. "We're going to have to share a bathroom with Thor," you whined. You held up the SHIELD uniform that was on the bed.

"That is a terrible idea," Loki agreed. "And I would much prefer my own clothes to...this," he grumbled

"Oh hush, you look hot no matter what you wear," you teased. "I'm going to look like Nat's ragamuffin little sister," you whined before you sighed and began putting on the stupid uniform, black pants, black tank top, black jacket, black gauntlets, a stupid thigh gun holster with a gun you'd never use, and of course black combat boots. You summoned a dagger sheath for your back which was way more practical. You turned to Loki as he zipped up the jacket on his nearly identical outfit, while you braided your hair out of the way. "Handsome as ever," you told him. He preened under the praise. "Silly peacock," you teased and helped him tie his hair out of the way, leaving the lovelock loose as usual. You had no idea what these assessments would entail or why.

"You look lovely, darling. Nothing at all like Lady Natasha," Loki reassured you.

You looked over his outfit more closely and rolled your eyes. "They could have at least armed you," you grumbled and summoned a dagger in a sheath for him.

He smirked. "Just because they do not offer me a weapon, does not mean I am without," he replied. He always had blades hidden, today was not an exception.

You pressed the dagger you had summoned into his hands. "Accept your lady's token," you told him firmly. He smiled and strapped the dagger sheath on.

"As my lady wishes," he replied with an elegant bow.

You laughed. "Come along, silly Trickster. Let's get this over with," you took his hand to walk with him up to the bridge.

"Took you two long enough," Fury barked when you arrived. You looked around.

"We beat Stark and Banner," you replied, taking seats at the table.

"At least we aren't playing Galaga," Tony replied as he and Bruce finally entered the room, also wearing stupid SHIELD uniforms. "Hurry this up, Fury. We're all in peak physical condition. I have other things to do today,"

"That's what this is about?" you demanded. "We're Aesir, we can't get human illnesses, so can we just go home?"

"All of you are designed just to give me a headache. How do you not kill each other or blow up the tower every other day?" Fury groaned. "Everyone has to go through physical assessments every year. It's mandatory. The sooner you children behave, the faster it's over and the faster you can get back to your lives and off of my ship,"

Cap looked over at you. "You've gotten sick before," he finally said.

You nodded. "We found out that Freya, my mother, used magic to make me appear human until my identity was discovered. She must've known I'd meet up with Thor and Loki at some point. So I got sick like a human. I haven't been sick since,"

You found out that no only were the assessments physical medical exams, but strength and stamina tests, demonstrations of powers, the entire SHIELD new agent entrance exam. It was brutal and awful and you wanted to kill Fury for it. There was no reason for this, he knew what you all could do. Loki had his powers unbound for the assessments, though he rolled his eyes and complained it was a waste of time during the whole thing. You agreed with him wholeheartedly.

"C'mon, Sig, just spar the agent," the test administrator begged when you were being particularly difficult. You looked over the guy.

"I really don't feel like killing anyone today," you replied sourly.

"It's just hand to hand combat," she protested.

"You aren't making Thor and Loki spar humans," you replied grumpily. "I'm Asgardian too,"

"Darling, just beat up the poor agent. It will be entertaining," Loki told you. You sighed and handed him your dagger.

"Fine. Keep an eye on this?" you had a habit of reaching for daggers automatically.

"Of course," he replied with a smirk and began flipping and twirling your dagger, showing off. You were laughing as you stepped onto the mats.

"I'm not going to go easy on you, sweetheart," the guy told you. You growled and stripped off your jacket, gauntlets and boots.

"Loki~ he's being mean to me~" you whined, looking like you took your eyes off of the guy, but keeping him in your peripheral vision.

"I suggest that you hit him, darling. That should teach him a lesson," Loki replied jovially. As expected, your banter made the agent charge you. You nimbly sidestepped him and tripped him in one movement. A moment later you had him pinned to the ground, his arm bent backwards so hard that you were a centimeter from breaking bone. The agent slapped the mat and you reluctantly let him up.

The administrator sighed. "Can you please do it properly?" she whined.

You sighed. "Fine," you settled into your fighting stance in preparation. You felt bad for the poor guy, but that didn't stop you from quickly dispatching him with a mix of combat skills from Loki and Frigga, and dirty tricks from Nat. He was crying in a ball of the floor in less than a minute. You stepped off the mats and the terrified administrator finally let you go.

Your assessment came back that you were terrifying and it was a good thing you were a healer, worthy of wielding Mjolnir, and somehow keeping control of a particular trickster god.

Somehow some dumb agents decided to play poker against Loki, Nat, and Tony that night. You sat next to Loki and he taught you how to play, whispering in Asgardian. Those poor dumb agents lost all of their paychecks for like the next month before Fury called a stop to the game calling you all dumb children.

He called the rest of the dumb agents on the ship much worse names when Thor, Cap, Tony, Nat, and Loki were challenged to a drinking contest. The agents needed medical attention while Tony was only drunk and the rest were just happily tipsy at best. Fury came back roaring about how much trouble you all were and to stop messing with his agents. You told him in your most innocent voice that the agents had started the trouble and what does he expect when they invited the team to share a drink? Fury let the issue go, but only after all of the agents had been kicked from your common room.

"C'mon, silly tipsy thing, off to bed with you before your silver tongue turns to lead," you told Loki, not forgetting the last time he'd been drunk.

"But Sig~" he whined. He was getting too tipsy. You hauled him to his feet.

"Walk, trickster, or I'm carrying you," you threatened.

"Can't," he informed you with a drunken laugh. Shit. He'd gotten more tipsy than you thought. Thor held up the flask of excelsior and you calmly flipped him off while he laughed at your burden of a drunk Loki. You sighed and bent grabbing one of Loki's arms and legs and hauled him up onto your back in a fireman's carry as you stood. He yelped in surprise.

"Can too," you told him, holding him firmly across your shoulders. You waved to the others and carried your Loki to bed.

*

The agents realized after you'd left the helicarrier that all of the coffee on the helicarrier disappeared, all of the coffee makers were mysteriously broken, all of the screensavers and desktop backgrounds were now stuck to an image of Stark in a speedo, the entire bridge was filled with snakes to annoy Fury, and everyone's uniforms had been dyed bright pink. Loki was blamed, but no one had seen him do any of those things and you were an innocent healer, you would never do such a thing no matter how annoyed you were at Fury for those stupid two days of assessments. Plus Loki's powers had been bound except for maybe an hour when he was being tested. So they really couldn't blame either of you.

They should have just blamed you both and been done with it. That was the safer thing to do...also the more accurate.