i speak very little of you

because i am afraid

of being asked for

proof of your existence

proof i do not have

i often deny you

because of my fear

of judgment and of hate

you are not a remedy

or a fix-all

for my lifes many lows

but you've shown me highs

i have never felt before

how do i show them

something even i

cannot see?

something even i

sometimes cannot feel?