"I am not joking I am serious" her lips tremble but she takes them between her teeth to not cry, while telling me she is going to cry any moment. "If I die I want you to take care of yourself...there is only one month left and I don't know what will happen after I go through this surgery" she sniffs and I control the urge of rolling my eyes at her soft state but hug her to give her some warmth.

"You should move on and be happy in life, you should not-you-you" a painful sob leaves her lips and she cries out loudly while wrapping her arms around my neck yet those painful sobs only sound dramatic too me.

"I love you!! I don't want to die!!" Pregnancy mood swings have entered the chat and is hitting me harder than her.

"Sweetheart were did you hear this rubbish? Didn't the doctor said your healthy? Why are you killing me with this nightmare filled sentence?" I rub her swollen belly as I rest with my back against the bed headboard.

"Who knows the doctor was lying? Quora does not lie...I have read in quora that many women's die when giving birth—what if...what if I am one of them?" She shakes her head at this traumatic sentence and hugs me tighter as If she is going to leave me. But her constant assumption and choices of her words is only making me angry, I can't even imagine my life without her and here she is already discussing on what I should if she leaves me.

"Where the fuck—" a gasp leaves her lips and she was very quick to give me a stern glare "Don't curse infront of my baby" she holds her belly but her glare does not die, and that glare looks a little scary and I don't want to become a predator in a pregnant women's eyes, whose mood swings can make her a widow without any doubt so I open my mouth too speak with appropriate words.

" okay—but where the hell did you find these cheep websites from? Give me your phone?" I bend forward to take her phone which is filling her mind with all sort of stupid things.

I open her phone deleting all the websites which is saved in safari where in almost websites she has searched if she will die when giving birth and if it is painful and the answers are not something a pregnant women who will be going through it soon should see and the way at the last they write after giving horrible explanation that it will be fine and they will do great only tempts me in reporting everyone and throwing the phone away.

After making sure that websites is blocked and the app itself is hidden, I pull her closer giving her all warmth she needs at this time "you will be doing fine, you are my strong girl. I hate seeing you cry, please don't break my heart like this" I wipe away her tears which is staining her chubby red cheeks.

She sniffs and snuggles closer, after a long pause she speaks "Can you spray some of your perfume a little on my wrist, it smells good" a chuckle vibrate through my chest when she grins and snuggles face in the crook of my neck to sniff my perfume.

Finding this adorable I nod to whatever she says because I know, her mood changes faster than a Chameleon—-again these pregnancy mood swings are hitting me badly than her, I can't handle her cuteness it's way too much.

The way she hesitates but nevertheless asks to buy her some food she is craving for but in the last adds only if I am free and if I will be able too, and the way she grabs my hand and places it on her tummy silently telling to massage her big tummy because it heals her mind and also it makes her sleep quickly.

So far she never woke me up in the middle of the night, but me being a light sleeper I wake up with a small stir or sniffs and silent cries which happens quiet frequent nowadays. She cries because for very simple reason and I stop myself from laughing and getting a smack when I hear her dumb reasons.

One was when we had a movie night and after the movie we slept but she woke up in the middle of the night and cried for hours because it was a happy ending and not all life ends happily and she forced me to fake call the director and say him two words on how he should not make such frictional story.

Not only woman's suffer during pregnancy, the guy also has equal treatment given.

Life is going greater than expected never thought I will get someone like kinza in life but more than that never thought she will bring so much happiness in my life. She is that light that I never thought exists in my life.

Work and work was what I thought life is all about, but she showed me how to enjoy in arguing on dumbest thing like if white chocolate has chocolate because chocolate is brown then how does it become chocolate? And these dumb heated discussion is something she always do when ever she feel like cause it is also necessary in life. Not every thing should have a meaning sometimes being dumb with your loved one is also necessary.

She gave me all happiness that exist and I will Try my best to give her the happiness she deserves.

"When are you going to visit your parents?" It's been a month she saw them, I am sure she is missing them "I don't know..." she trails off, obviously hiding the fear she has created within herself that she will get hurt if she goes there or maybe someone will hurt her if she goes there.

"Should I invite them?" Nibbling on her lower lip she thinks for a second before nodding.

"Hmm...then this Saturday we can have a family dinner?" When she hums I pull her closer feeling sleepy in this cozy position. "Sleep sleep...I will take care of you" she pats my head and chuckles on her sentence, since I am feeling sleepy I do not even think of going against it but snuggle closer to take a nap.

"Don't tell me, Are you serious??" Kinza tries to keep her voice low but whisper yells waking me up, I blink my eyes open to see kinza in the middle of the bed while Ryaan is sitting infront of her.

He nods his head in repeat to something to which kinza squeals "take me I want to see!" She with her big bump scoots to the edge to get down but Ryaan stops her.

"No No No! He will kill if he knew I said you, it's a surprise you will know in few days" he grins proudly and now I understand what he was talking about. I so want to smack his head. But whom am I blaming? I am the dumbest for trusting Ryan and involving him in preparing the baby shower which we are planning to held soon before the little arrives cause there is only few days for her due date.

"I will die with curiosity, take me there please" she makes the best puppy face and Ryaan hesitates a little looking like he is on the edge of giving up.

"Where do you want to go?" I rub my eyes as if I just woke up, kinza snaps her head in full speed looking at me with wide eyes. "I um..why did you wake up, go back to sleep, go go" Is she serious? I roll my eyes when she scoots closer and massages my scalp. "Go back to sleep" she pats my head making me feel like a kid but I hold her wrist to stop her.

"Thankyou but I feel awake now" I sit up and she literally groans on my face telling me I am irritating her and destroying her plans.

"What were you saying her?" I raise my eyebrow buttoning up my shirt "that you are handsome" he gives me his best fake grins out of nervousness knowing that his head is going to snapped away from his neck in couple of minutes.

"Oh, so you want to go somewhere to see how handsome I am?" He gives me a firm head shake "That was...the first thing I said the second thing I was telling her is something secret which we cannot share with you—you don't have to know everything" he has the audacity to glare at me for looking like he is uttering the truth.

"Yeah" the brat beside me joins him "hmm...now go out before before I kick you" he looks at me with wide when he understands from my glare that I heard everything and stands up to run away before I touch his face.

"There was no need of scaring that poor kid" she slaps my arm and glares at me "okay I am hungry I want to eat something" she shakes my hand up and down and I look at my wrist to see I have slept for 20 minutes and we had dinner just half an hour ago.

"We just now had dinner kinza, I can count the minutes" she squints her eyes and angry look takes over her face telling me that it was a wrong move "Are you telling me I eat a lot? Are you telling me I am fat?" I gulp when her intense glare does not die "I—No-"

"Yeah yeah tell whatever you want its not you who is carrying another human whole day since past 8 months right? You have a mouth who will stop you from saying anything! Let me remind you it's because of you I am fat so don't you dare tell me I am fat" Oh my—I shake my head to whatever she says with panic written all over my face when I see her crying.

"Hey I didn't mean that I am sorry my love, you tell me what do you want to eat? I will order that now" she glares at me but roughly wipe her tears and sniffs loudly "chicken burger and chicken wrap and I don't want mustard sauce in that it gives a nausea feeling" she says between her quiet sob and I nod quickly taking me phone out to order what she is asking for.

"From McDonald" she looks away when I raise my eyebrows, crying but still does not forget to point out everything—wow.

With a chuckle I do as said and after placing the order I scoot closer to wipe her tears which she is not trying to wipe away just to show me she was crying. Her tactics which I have learnt in these few months of pregnancy.

"You look beautiful" I smile when she glares at me "oh I don't look fat now?" Her serious face only makes me laugh but I don't want to dig my own grave so I shake my head "even if you are, you will be the hottest healthy women in town" even though she is not fat but big because of her big baby bump she looks ten times more beautiful to me. Her cheeks catches a tint red at my sentence and she reacts like a shy teen by throwing her arms around me. Mood swings guys...

.......

I explaine the presentation to Mr.Alam and her secretary Zaina who is seated on the right, with Ryaan and my secretary on my left listening to us attentively.

Being experienced in this field I do not show any nervousness since I am used to this. Mr.Alam smiles when he understands the project and before we could talk further my secretary's assistant walks in very hesitantly since he is new here.

"S-Sir?" He calls out for me, not knowing that I hate being disturbed when I am in the meeting. I raise my eyebrow asking him to continue and again he hesitates "Maam is calling...she wants to talk to you now—I said her you are in a meeting but she—" I take my phone from his hold and give an apologetic smile to Mr.Alam who nods understanding the situation.

"Kinza I am in a meeting—"

"I am dying! I want to see you last when I die!" She yells and my eyes go wide when I understand what she means by that "kinza calm down I am coming calm down calm down, where are you now sweetheart?" I rush to my table to grab my wallet but talk to her to calm her down knowing that she will panicking"I can't!! It's paining! It hurts!" She yells and Panick and fear strikes me when it hits me when I remember that there is no one in home other than the gardener and a worker who is inexperienced about everything.

"Sir I am sorry my wife is in labor I need to go...ryaan will continue from here" I do not wait for there response, I ignore when Zaina yells asking me to wait so she could come with me and rush out.

"Keys?" The driver handles me the keys and only I know how many signals and rules I broke to reach kinza.

"Ya Allah" a gasp leaves my lips when I see her lying on the floor near the couch looking in great pain.

When she sees me a smile forms on her lips a very beautiful smile, and for the first time my eyes tears up seeing her in such a bad condition, I run towards her cupping her cheeks and wiping her tears I speak with my trembling voice "sweetheart, my strong baby, you have to keep your eyes open okay? We will be reaching the hospital soon" without wasting any time I take her in my arms and soon Ryaan and Zaina rushes in.

"Ryaan start the car" he nods with a pale face scared of this new scene which we have never witnessed before "kinza open your eyes don't faint" Zaina rubs her hand while crying.

I rush out with the lifeless girl in my arms who must've taken lots of pain because of me. I shouldn't have left her, how can I be so careless.

I blink my tears away which are blurring my vision as Zaina opens the door, I quickly take a seat with kinza in my arms.

I pat her cheeks gently when I see her closing her eyes "hey sweetheart open you eyes...please don't close your eyes, look at me" she tiredly opens her eyes and parts her dry lips to say something but only groans.

"I—I love you" and with a smile she rests and closes her eyes, and my heart breaks seeing her dozing of but what pains more is that smile on her face, my hands are shaking from fear, I have never felt so scared before, I can't loose her—no no.

"Kinza please-" she brings her hand up to wipe my tears " you look handsome even when crying Husband"

Were her last words before she went all silent until she was sent into the operation room.

The silence in the hall is killing me, the blood I saw is giving me a trauma and I am so close to fainting, never thought this happy moment would be so traumatic.

I sit on the bench when my legs gives up, holding my head in my palms I do not stop myself from letting out the tears which are flowing down cheeks and are stinging my eyes. I bounce my leg up and down nervously, feeling scared of all the thoughts which are invading my mind.

Kinza...only Kinza. If they ask me to choose between kinza and my child, I'll choose kinza. I don't care if she will hate me for the rest of my life but I can't see her dying in front of me...that will be more painful than anything.

Hours went by and nurses left the room and entered the room in hurry, the corridor has been occupied with Kinza's family and my parents who are sitting in the corner with guilt written over their faces.

I am still in the same place, not able to move an inch, even when Kinza's father came to talk to me.

More Tears weld up my eyes when I remember all the time she used to say how scared she is of leaving me, and how she is sure something is going to happen on the time of delivery and the hours of continues surgery is scaring me more.

"Patients guardian?" When the doctors voice reaches my ears I snap out of my thoughts and like a lost puppy I wipe my tears roughly rushing towards the towards mentally praying to Allah that she must be fine. My heart rate increases when she looks at us.

"H-Her husband" I gulp feeling weak and I can tell I will faint anytime soon from the mental pressure.

"I am sorry for the inconvenience we should have admitted the patient a week ago but we thought it would be fine for her to come here if she feels any pain as soon as possible since her house is near" I hear nothing but the word 'I am sorry'—No this can't be happening.

"K-Kinza? Where..how is she?" I fist my trembling hand tightly not even bothering to wipe my tears away which are draining my cheeks silently.

When a smile that slowly turns into a grin appears on the doctor's face replacing the serious look I stumble a step back and rush of relief runs through my vines "You are blessed with a boy Sir" I hold Ryaan's hand not able to take the sudden news, and he helps me stand in place.

A deep breath leaves my lips and my eyes automatically shuts tight but my eyes sting with more tears when her words reaches my ears. Tears silently escaping through my closed eyes.

"Kinza is unconscious for now because of the dose we gave, but will wake up soon" she assures us with a smile but my heart jumps out my chest when the door open and the room fills with loud cries of a baby...my baby.

The doctor takes the baby from the nurse arms with a bright grin and walks towards me whose is going through a very vulnerable state.

When she comes near me everybody crowds us and a-lots of 'Awe's' fills the room but when my eyes falls on the little creature my heart flips and beats louder with happiness and a feeling which I have never felt before. An Euphoric feeling.

He is beautiful, he looks like his mamma, that doe eyes filled with tears and the pouting lips as if he is telling me he is upset just the way his mom, kinza does.

When she forwards the baby asking me to take, I blink my eyes and bite my lips unconsciously "I-I have never taken a baby in my arms before" I hesitate didn't want to hurt him by holding him in a wrong way.

"Everyone has a first time in everything...so here" I look at the small soul but shake my head scared of being rough "What if I..hurt him by—" she cuts me if with a smile "you will never hurt your baby sir" I lick my lips and quickly rub my hands in pants so it should not be dirty and give him any infection.

I hold my hands forward and she without any effort holds him by his neck and butt before placing it in my arms.

"Ya Allah" I cry when I feel him in my arms even though he is wrapped in a towel I can feel his warmth.

"He-he weighs nothing" I laugh feeling overwhelmed. He is so small, god I want to hug him tightly but I am scared I will suffocate him, this feel so good to have your own child you've created with love in your arms. Freaking hell this feels so good, I can't explain how I am feeling.

He stares at me with teary eyes and pouting lips but those lips turns up ever so slowly when he sees me grinning at him, my heart jumps out of my chest when his first soft laugh reaches my ears "Oh my-" I gasp when he smiles at me with his eyes on my lips as if he is trying imitate my actions.

Ryaan whines beside me "I know he is your child but I am his uncle give me my nephew!" He looks like he will stomp his legs on the floor like a kid."I want to hold him too!"

Ammi interrupts him "First me" she pushes him behind and when I see his mouth hung open in disbelief I laugh my heart out at his cute face which always looks annoying to me.

Ammi smiles at me with adoration and with so much hesitation I give her my baby. I don't want him to leave my arm, I want to hold him like this forever.

"Can I see kinza?" I ask the doctor who nods with a smile and asks me to follow her, I take a peek at my family members who are giggling and joking while playing with my baby and complimenting him on how beautiful he looks as if he is understanding everything.

"She will be waking up soon" she smiles while opening the door and I see some nurse washing their hands while talking to each other and after few steps I see the love of life laying on the pale bed with her eyes closed wearing a thin hospital dress, I walk towards her bed and sit on the smalls chair pulling it closer I sit beside her.

A smile forms on my lips when I remember that we have passed a stage in life and have become a parent, we have our own child who will call us Abbu Ammi, Dad Mamma the names which we used to call our parents.

I take her small hand in mines and sob leaves my lips finally breaking down into tears of happiness that I was controlling from the past few hours and minutes. This feels so good that I can't explain, I have never let my emotions out before not even when I felt abandoned in a small age, not even when I was humiliated now after locking up the emotions for years when I am finally letting out I feel good, I feel happy.