《A New Beginning - Warren Worthington III (REWRITING)》Chap.13 - Heart to Heart
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The rest of the day went by without you even realizing. You were over the moon. Warren and you spent your lunch break alone in the classroom, kissing and embracing each other. When classes started again, you left him reluctantly. You spent the entire afternoon waiting excitedly to see him again. Ororo, who was with you in English, had not asked you anything about your behavior and you wondered if she had guessed what was going on. On the other hand, Jean knew. It had not been hard for her to see it as you were thinking about it so much. You felt a little embarrassed at first but she made you understand she was sharing your joy. She knew what it was to be madly in love with someone and have this love shared.
When classes finally ended, you almost ran out of the classroom, leaving Ororo behind. You were supposed to meet Warren on the roof and you did not want to lose any time. Reaching the stairs that led there, you stopped dead in your tracks: Ororo was waiting for you.
"How did you-?" You mutter, shocked.
"That's a secret! But that's a secret I'm willing to share if you tell me what's wrong with you today?" She offered you, crossing her arms on her chest.
"I swear I'll tell you everything tonight!"
"How about right now instead? Or are you meeting someone?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.
You opened your mouth to talk but nothing came out. Closing it, you thought about it. From the smug look on her face, she probably already guessed what was going on with you. You were going to admit it when you felt two strong arms wrapping themselves around your waist from behind. Pulling you toward his chest, Warren pressed a tender kiss on your cheek before whispering in your ear:
"I missed you."
Those three simple words sent shiver down your spine and you blushed from head to foot. A gigantic grin spread on your face as you snuggled against him. Warren pressed another kiss on your cheek, happy to see you again. You were about to turn around to kiss him when Ororo shouted:
"I KNEW IT!!"
It made you jump in surprise. Looking back at her, you saw her smirking.
"That's why you've been behaving like a nutcase."
"I wasn't." You argued feebly.
"Sure! There was nothing weird in you humming and grinning all day for no reason."
You felt Warren smile behind you and warned him: "Don't you dare!"
"I haven't said anything." He answered quickly but by the tone of his voice you could tell he was smirking.
"Let's keep it that way." You answered, snuggling against him.
"God, you're too adorable, I'm going to puke." Ororo said, pretending to throw up. "So, not that I don't like being the third wheel but I think it's better if I leave now before Warren realizes he's madly in love with me." She smirked at you one last time and walked into the corridor toward your bedroom.
You smiled at her last remark; she really was the only one who could come up with such things.
You were ecstatic as you turned around to face Warren. He was smirking.
"So, you've been humming?"
"Shut up." You said embarrassedly, a faint smile on your lips.
You nudged him lightly as you moved backward. Warren brought you back to his chest just as fast, holding you tight.
"Make me." He answered playfully, his eyes gleaming with passion.
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You did not have to get ask it twice as you pressed your lips on his, wrapping your arms around his neck.
You kissed in the corridor for a few minutes before moving upstairs toward the roof to have some tranquility. You kissed some more and as you were doing so he put you on his lap. You were not really comfortable at first, straddling him, but you quickly realized it was the best position for him as his wings did not allowed him a lot of movement and went with it. His hands resting on your back in a tender embrace, he seemed to be the happiest man in the world. When his lips stopped moving against yours, he leaned on the wall behind him, his eyes closed.
Breathless, you studied his face. He was looking so relaxed it warmed your heart. Unconsciously, as you moved your gaze over his features, your fingers went sliding on the tattoos that framed his face. He relaxed even more under your soft caresses. The tattoos were simple but something in it seemed ancient, as if a deep meaning was hidden underneath. You started to wonder why he had chosen those as your fingers moved from his forehead to his cheek. It was a good choice though: it made him look solemn and older than it was. He was handsome too. But you kept wondering about what had pushed him to do those on such an obvious part of his body as your fingers reached his jaw.
A smile appeared on your lips when you realized what you were doing. You had wanted to touch his tattoos for a long time but you had never thought you would have the opportunity to do so one day. When you moved your gaze toward his blue eyes, you noticed him looking at you dumbstruck.
"Did I do something wrong?"
"Do you like them?" He asked you, talking about his tattoos.
"Of course I do, don't you?"
He shrugged, avoiding your gaze.
"Why did you make them then?" You asked him, not understanding.
"I didn't."
You frowned. You were totally lost. It did not make any sense. When Warren saw the look of confusion on your face he sighed. It was obvious he did not want to talk about it.
"Apocalypse did."
His words left you shocked. It was not what you were expecting. You were about to ask him to explain but he did it by himself:
"I don't really know why he did it. Maybe it was some way to brand me or maybe it was part of the process to give me more power, like Ororo and her white hair. I don't know and I don't think I ever want to find out."
You did not answer. It was hard to process. You had always known Ororo and Warren like that and you had never thought about asking them about how they had gotten their distinctive feature. But in an instant, those tattoos that you found so beautiful seemed soiled. And if you felt that way, you could not even began to understand how Warren must feel like.
"I know what you're thinking. I have trouble with it too. I'm still not used to see me like that. Every time I see myself in a mirror, it's like every bad decision I made come kicking me in the face."
Cupping his cheek, you reassured him: "It's nothing we can't get past." And you meant it.
Moving closer to him, you kissed his forehead, then his cheek, peppering kisses along the sharp lines of his tattoos. Maybe Apocalypse was the one to give him those but he would not haunt him through it. You would make sure of it.
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As you pressed the last kiss on his jaw, you moved toward his lips. You kissed him softly but you could tell his mind was not in it. He still kissed you back before pulling you into a hug, in dire need of comfort. Talking about his past always seemed to put him in this situation: depressed, anxious, with the need to feel you by his side.
You stayed in this embrace for a long time; it was comfortable, tender and romantic. You could feel Warren's chest moving slowly against yours with each of his breaths. Snuggled against him, you could not help but think about a very specific question; one that had been on your mind for quite some time now. The time was perfect to ask him. Pulling yourself away from his chest, you locked eyes with him. The hesitation in your eyes startled him and he inquired, concerned:
"What's going on?"
You moved one of your hands on his chest. The feeling of his heart beating underneath it was soothing. Biting your lips, you finally pluck up courage.
"I've been asking myself this question for some time now and I feel like it's time for me to get an answer." You looked deeply into his eyes, insecure about it. What if you did not like the answer? "Why did you talk to me in the living room? When I was doing my homework with Jean and you were talking with Peter. You had been in the school for days but you had never gone to me before. But this day, you did and I don't understand why."
It seemed stupid now that you had uttered it out loud but it was a genuine interrogation of yours. What had made him come to you?
He smiled, his eyes staring into space for a second as he remembered the day.
"I guess I felt it was time for me to grow a pair. You had always seemed like a nice and funny girl and you were- are very attractive. But I felt like you were too good for me. I was a mess back then, and quite frankly I'm still are but I did not want to put my problems on you. Plus, I didn't think you were into me: we had never talked before so I kept my distance. But that day, when you stared at me, for the longest time someone had ever stare at me-" He laughed as you blushed. "-I felt something. I know you were staring into space and not really seeing me but I didn't care. I wanted to feel your eyes on me again, to get to know you better. That's why I came to you." He finished, shrugging. You could see he was slightly embarrassed.
"That's really cute." You said, quite moved by his words. Still, something felt wrong, as if he had left something out.
"If you say so." He answered, smirking. "To be honest, I also wanted to do much more than just know you."
"Like what?"
"Like what we are doing right now for a start."
He pressed a tender kiss on your lips, his arms tightening around your waist.
Blushing, you inquired: "Why did you hold back?"
"I thought you deserved to know the real me before we get closer. I'm not perfect; you could have someone less damaged. You needed to realize with whom you were falling for. So, I didn't rush things in case you would have wanted to stop everything. But I can assure you it's wasn't easy. I had wanted to hold you in my arms and kiss you so many times. Remember a few days ago, after the training, when I showed up on your doorstep?" You nodded, of course you remembered. He had behaved quite strangely that evening. "When I saw you opening the door, I had wanted to kiss you so badly, to feel your body against mine again, to be able to touch you." His voice was full of passion, making your cheeks turn red.
"What stopped you?" You whispered.
He sighed. His face became hesitant. "Like I said before, I wasn't sure I deserved you." He paused. "And, I wasn't the nicest guy to woman. I never had a lot of relationships for obvious reasons." He stated looking at his wings before looking back at you. "And the few I had... I don't think you can call these relationships. The only women interested in me were because of my mutation or because of my family's wealth, so there wasn't anything good in it and most of the time it was purely sexual." He lowered his eyes shamefully. It was not something you wanted to hear and he knew it but you were not going to blame him for his past. "I guess I wasn't sure I could treat you well." Frowning, he added: "In fact, I'm still not sure I can."
You had not realized he was so insecure about your relationship. It explained his past behavior and the weeks you had spent together as being friends. You were happy he was opening up to you like that. Moving your face closer to him, you reassured him:
"You've always been good to me. You don't have anything to worry about."
"It was different. He weren't together back then." He pointed out, meeting your eyes.
You felt your heart jump in your chest at his words. Together. It was not something you would get tired of hearing. Still, seeing his fear of letting you down in his eyes, you added:
"Our relationship hasn't changed that much, Warren. We're closer, that's all. And I'm really happy with you. More than I ever was in a long time. So trust me when I tell you you don't have anything to worry about."
Hearing your kind words, Warren smiled faintly. He was moved but something deeper in his expression grabbed your attention. When he spoke, you understood it was sadness.
"You know, you're the only person who ever cared about me so deeply in my entire life."
You shook your head, confused and concerned at the same time.
"What do you mean?"
"It's- no one has ever taken care of me like you do. Not even my parents." His gaze began to drift away from you, remembering some hidden part of his past. "My mom was never really there for me and my dad, he hated me. When he found out I was a mutant, he couldn't stand it. His own son, a freak. He tried to avoid me as much as he could, saying he was looking for a cure as an excuse for his absence." He gulped, shocking his head, not willing to say more on this matter. "After this, and the fights, I never thought I would find someone to care about me, a wretched winged freak. But then you appeared." His eyes focusing back on you, you looked at him deeply. "You were perfect, worthy to have anyone you'd liked but you choose me." He smiled sadly. "I still remember clearly the way you looked at me the first time we met. Your eyes were filled with curiosity and wonder; I tried to look for fear, to find a reason to push you away but I didn't find any. I remember thinking you were insane. Most students in this school were at least a little bit afraid of me, but you were not. Even though you had every reason to be. With my past, my metallic wings, and those tattoos, I couldn't be scarier looking. And the worst part was that you knew I had been with Apocalypse, you knew what had happened but it didn't seem to matter, you were not scared. You were the first person to look at me like I was someone worth knowing, someone worth having feeling for, and I could never thank you enough for that."
His hand cupping your cheek tenderly, he kissed your forehead. You were so moved you could not talk. Tears were building up in your eyes. Mostly because you were realizing how much he cared about you but also because of his story: how sad it was and how much you wanted to make him feel better. Thinking about his relationship with his dad made your tears began to stream down your face.
"Don't cry, angel." He whispered, drying the tears that were falling down your cheeks with his thumb. "You saved me."
His words hit you hard. It was too much to process. Hiding your face in your hands, you started to cry, your body shaking uncontrollably. You never realized your love meant so much to him. You did not even know why you were crying: because his life had only been torment? Because he loved you so much he was willing to admit all of this to you? Because you loved him so much you could not stand thinking about him in those situations? Because you had not realized how hurt he was? Because you did not want to think about what he would have done if you had not been there for him?
"Stop, please." He begged as he held you against him. You could feel the despair in his voice as he called your name, one of his hands reaching for your cheek.
Moving your hands away from your face, you looked at him through your tears. You did not have to ask him why he was looking so worried, you already knew: he was afraid he had hurt you; he did not fully understand why you were crying; he was feeling useless: not being able to console the most important person in his life. You felt a wave of sadness taking hold of your body again as you realized you were hurting him. Drying the tears on your cheeks with your hands, you tried to mutter an apology. But nothing came as the tears kept streaming down your face. It took you many more seconds to get hold of yourself. Blowing your nose with a handkerchief, you finally managed to utter a few words in a shaky voice:
"I'm sorry. I didn't know." Taking a long breath to calm you down, you continued, your teary eyes locking with his deep blue eyes: "I wish I would have found you sooner. I wish you hadn't lived all of this."
"It's okay." He whispered, smiling faintly as he saw you were feeling better. "To quote one of your many cheesy lines, we wouldn't be here otherwise." He gave you a warm smile, trying to reassure you, his thumb caressing your cheek tenderly and drying the remnant of your tears.
You could only nod, sniffing. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pulled him into a bone crushing hug. You loved him and you will do anything to make him feel happy for as long as you could.
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