Have you ever had a moment where if you didn't do one thing it would change your life completely? Like if you didn't do it you could be losing the best thing that's ever happened to you? That's what I was feeling as I ran to catch Ella before she left Salt Lake for good.

I had two things drilled in my mind as I ran;

One: Look for the big house with a red door and a blue car in front.

Two: Apologise to Ella and let her know how stupid I was to ever kiss Wendy back.

I hated myself for doing this to her, I should've pushed Wendy away, but instead, I just froze like an idiot.

I kept thinking things like, "what if Im not fast enough?" and "what if I finally get there and she still leaves anyway?" but I tried my best to push those thoughts away and focus on the positive that would happen if I was successful and made it in time; growing old together and telling our kids about this exact moment, and then maybe even telling our kids, kids.

I turned about a million corners. I knew exactly where her house was. It was right next to the hospital. I wiped rainwater off my face to be able to read each of the signs better and I occasionally had to push my way through crowds of people on the sidewalks or just maneuver my way around them. I passed all the stores lined up on the street like the bakery, Glenda's flower shop, and Vincents drug store, but they all went by like a flash.

I finally got to the large street that all the other neighborhoods stream out of and ran quickly while reading all of the street names. Robin road, Sewanee Dr, even Red Oak Dr, but no Redwood.

Redwood. I had to find Redwood. I began to panic when I couldn't find the corner sign that had her street name on it until finally, I found it on the other side of the road. I stopped as fast as I could and turned towards the other sidewalk and sprinted. I ran in front of two cars which thankfully stopped in time for me to not get hit, jumped up onto the other sidewalk, and ran while looking for a big house with a red door and a small blue car in front of it. My heart was racing and I could feel the serotonin running through my veins.

I had to get to her, but I had no idea if I was going to make it in time or not. If I finally got there and they were gone, I'd never been able to live with myself. I need to tell her everything I've been telling myself over the past two days.

I ran and ran until finally, I found the house with a red door and blue car in front of it. I was standing about two houses down and watched as Ella and her Mr. Moore helped Joe get her stuff to the car.

They were still there loading the last couple of bags into the trunk as Ella's Dad closed the front door and walked down the steps.

They each rushed to pack everything up so they could get out of the rain as I jogged up to them. Her dad was the first to see me.

He tapped Ella on the shoulder and nodded his head once in my direction. Seeing her face after all the worrying about not making it in time made a wave of relief wash over me.

I turned around to see Benny jogging towards us. He was soaking wet and looked completely out of breath. I wanted nothing to do with him right now. All I wanted to do was go home and forget all about him.

"Ella, " he said once he got right up to me.

"What part about a goodbye note do you not understand?" I snapped.

"You said you were gonna stay?" he asked out of breath. He looked sad, so It would make me feel bad if I just walked away from him.

"I'll let you two talk, " dad said awkwardly as he closed the trunk then went to join Joe in the car even though I knew he was still gonna listen to the conversation.

"I was, but things came up, " I said sourly and giving him an angry look.

"Okay, she came onto me, " he said defending himself.

"But you didn't pull away, did you?" I argued and crossed my arms.

He opened his mouth to say something more, but paused and went wide-eyed.

"Right, " I said then turned to walk over to the car door.

He ran around me and grabbed my hand before I could put it on the handle. His touch sent chills down my spine, but I ignored them. When I looked up at him our eyes met. His eyes were perfectly brown like always, and there were raindrops on his eyelashes.

My hair was soaked, and my clothes were getting heavy from how damp they were.

"Look if you're gonna give me this whole speech about how you're sorry and how you were wrong and shouldn't have kissed her back, I don't wanna hear it, "

He looked back and forth between both my eyes like he was trying to figure out what I was thinking. I looked at him with pure hate in my eyes. I didn't want to hate him, but he broke my heart more than any boy has before.

"Do you love me?" he said finally breaking the silence.

My heart was racing at the sound of those words.

"Benny-"

"Just answer the question, " he cut me off, "do you love me?"

I moved my hand away from his and walked away from the car. He followed me.

When I didn't answer, he started asking more questions that I knew I couldn't answer without breaking down into tears and falling back into his arms.

"Did you mean what you said in the letter?" He asked, "you said you loved me, right? You said I made this summer one of the best you've ever had. If any of that's true, then why are you leaving?"

He put a hand on my shoulder and make me turn around and face him, but I didn't look him in the eyes, I couldn't.

"We could make so many more memories together," he continued, "just please, you know I love you."

"Do you really though?" I said enraged at what he was saying.

"Yes," he yelled back, "I do!"

"Then why didn't you pull away?" I lost it, the wall I was trying to put up and act like I wasn't still sad came crumbling down.

Now he couldn't say anything.

"You can't even tell me that, but you can confront me on if I actually meant what I said in the letter?" I yelled, "so what if it was all bull shit? I thought that was what our whole relationship was based on, a whole fucking pile of bull shit!"

"It wasn't based on bull shit!"

"All the times I was there for you with your parents, everything we went through together, and you still kissed her? That sounds like a bull shit relationship to me."

"She kissed me, Ella!"

"You keep saying that, but you haven't made up an excuse in your stupid head as to why you kissed her back," I yelled as mascara ran down my face.

"Because I don't know!"

I paused to stare at him. Anger was building up inside me by the second. He didn't know? How could he not know? That was by far one of the worst excuses I've ever heard of.

"You don't know?" I said in disbelief then raised my voice even more, "You don't know!"

"Look, it all just happened so fast and I didn't think you were gonna see it-"

"So it's fine because you didn't think I was going to see it?" I growled.

"Wait, no that's not what I meant-"

"Then what did you mean Benny? You know you're giving me a lot of reasons to not forgive you."

"Because I'm not good at this whole thing, you know that!"

"Do I? Because lately, it seems like I don't even know you anymore. Where you just using me to get your first relationship out of the way? Or no, were you just going along with it because you didn't want to hurt me?"

"Are you kidding me?" He said walking up closer to me, "I meant every single thing that happened this summer! Every kiss, every hug, every I love you, all of it!" He paused and waited for a response from me but continued when he didn't get one, "look I know we're just kids but-"

"Exactly, " I finally said, "we're just kids. It was just a stupid summer fling and it obviously meant nothing to you."

"It meant everything to me!"

"Then tell me why you kissed her back?" I yelled louder than before.

I was angry. All I wanted to do was scream at him, tell him how much I hated him, or how much he hurt me.

"I already told you that I don't fucking know Ella!" He matched my anger and yelled as loud as I was, "she just kissed me and I froze. I didn't know what to do."

"That's not good enough."

"Then what is? I don't even know what's good enough for you!"

"You were good enough! You made me feel whole, I felt safe when I was with you." I said quietly.

There was a dramatic pause. The sound of the rain hitting the pavement on the ground and the car behind us. We were both crying, me definitely a lot more than him. I probably looked like a wreck with my hair frizzing from the humidity of the rainy weather and my mascara dripping down my face.

His hair was still perfect, it was messy like he had just gotten out of the shower, but it was perfect. He always looked good without even trying. His shirt was soaked so it stuck to his body, complimenting his chest and abs, and he didn't even have a raincoat on. Just jeans and a t-shirt.

"If I was, or am, good enough, then stay," he said desperately as he came closer, "please don't go. we all need you... I need you. I can prove to you that the kiss meant nothing to me, that I seriously just froze and didn't know what to do."

He took both my hands in his once he got close enough and looked deep into my eyes like he always did.

"."

For a moment he had me. When I looked into his eyes I saw peace and all the memories we had together. I saw the Benny I first met on June fourth, not the one who went around kissing girls like Wendy but as soon as her name came into my mind the whole image of them kissing came back into my mind.

"I can't Benny," I sighed and let go of his hands.

"Why? Why can't you?" He asked even though he didn't want to know the answer. "I will literally get down on my knees and beg you. I've never felt this way for any girl before, you're different. It's like I need you with me or I'll lose my mind!"

"Just go home Benny, I have to leave." I walked towards the car.

"No, you don't. You can stay, we both know you want to just please-"

"Who said I wanted to stay?" I lied and turned back around to face him. "We're done, this is over, just go."

The words even hurt me as they left my lips, but I turned back around and walked towards the car so he couldn't see.

He didn't say anything, there was no sound but me silently screaming at myself on the inside and the thunder in the background.

I felt his eyes on me as I closed the door beside me and buckled my seat belt.

Joe and dad were both looking at each other with concerned looks.

"You sure about this kiddo?" Dad asked while looking at me from the driver's seat.

I wiped my tears away, only making the mascara smear all over my face, and fixed myself into a comfy position.

"Yeah, " I said as I looked out the window to see Benny still standing there watching us, "it was never gonna work anyway, "

He looked back at Joe, who gave him a reassuring nod, then started the car and began to drive away. I watched as Benny slowly started to move out of the frame of the window until finally, it was nothing but a blur of houses and rain.

I silently cried in the back seat, trying to not let Joe or Dad hear me, but it hurt.

Joe handed me the blanket she was using so I could stay warm since I was soaked. At first, I turned it down, not wanting to get her blanket wet, but she insisted.

"You're too stubborn, just take the blanket, " she smiled comfortingly.

"Thanks, " I made what I could of a smile on my lips, but there were still tears dripping down the sides

So far, that's the last I ever saw Benny Rodriguez up close in person, now I just see him from the bleachers in stadiums, or on the T.V's... maybe even a billboard here and there.

Now when I look back on that summer in California, I didn't think of it at all as a bad one, it would definitely go down in my book as the one where I fell in love with a boy, but of course, we were young and dumb and it didn't last.

Nowadays, Bennys known as "The Jet" all over the world. He's taken the LA Dodgers to the world series multiple times. He traded between teams every now and then, but eventually found his way back to where his heart really was, the Dodgers.

I was even at the game where he stole home and his name went down in history. Smalls and I kept in touch over the years, mostly over my laptop until I finally got a new phone and number, so he found a way to get me and Logan tickets to all the best games every now and then.

I didn't keep in touch with Benny though. We went our separate ways on that one rainy night that I'll never forget. I even asked Smalls to never give him my number, it would probably end In me getting too attached, and it all going to shit... again. I still remember every word to that argument by heart. I mean, how could someone forget something as life-changing as that?

When I got back to Texas, I stayed with Dad and Joe until I graduated high school, then moved out and played college softball at UCLA with a full-ride scholarship. We went undefeated all five years I was there. I would've only played four years, but I hurt my shoulder during the very first game of my fourth year and decided to take the rest of that season as a red-shirt year. It sucked sitting on the bench while my teammates dominated without me, but I quickly got back into it once my shoulder was healed for the next year.

Joe and my dad ended up getting married after they dated for six years. It was a beautiful wedding, I cried. She even made me her maid of honor since she apparently didn't have a sister or any close family that she would want to have that spot, but I was still honored.

Gran passed just recently. She lived to be 84 years old. She had a good and long life, I was just upset that she passed without any of us being there. Her Caregiver said she went in her sleep, so she most likely didn't suffer, which gave me some bits of peace, but I still wish I got to say goodbye. She said in her will that she left me the Bakery, so I still have to sort that all out.

I heard from Lilly that her mom got out of rehab pretty quickly and that she's doing a lot better now. I guess her parents got remarried, if that's a thing, and they're still happy and together to this day. I always had a feeling that would happen, so I was sad I didn't get to congratulate either of them personally.

I never knew what happened to Wendy Pufferfish, and to be honest I'm glad I didn't. The only thing I heard, and it's probably not even true but it makes a lot of sense, was that she got knocked up at 18 and works at McDonald's or something... But you didn't hear that from me.

Logan and I are still best friends to this day, since he ended up playing baseball at UCLA. We did lose touch through high school, but it was a good reunion at college. Of course, he was always getting trashed at frat parties so I either had to pick him up at three in the morning, or I was the designated driver. There was only one time when he had to take me home, but that was when I first got my injury and didn't know how to deal with it.

The rest of the sandlot boys all slowly broke up after I left. I still talk to DeNunez, Smalls, and Squints, but the rest of them either went off the grid (cough cough Bertram), or are now known as the Great Hambino (cough cough, Ham).

As for me, well... i guess you'll just have to see.

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~Forever yours (aka stay part two) is out now!!

Also I want to write more books that you guys might enjoy about different fandoms so please leave suggestions as to what you guys are into! ❤️

Thank you so much for reading my first book!