July 10, 2021

Do you know when you get that weird feeling you get when you feel like something sketchy is going on? Yeah, I had that all day today.

I laid in bed scrolling through Instagram for a little while when I saw I had a new follow request.

Wendy_P111 has requested to follow you.

"Wendy Peffercorn?" I asked myself.

I clicked on her profile picture and opened her page. There were pictures of her and her lifeguard friends at the pool and some of her walking her dog. I just wondered how she found my account. I've never spoken a word to her before. Sure I've smiled at her when I went to the pool with the guys a couple of times, but I didn't think that meant we were a following each other on social media stage.

"Fuck it," I said as I clicked the follow button.

I accepted her follow request as well. Maybe she was just trying to be friendly because she knows squints.

I didn't have much on my Instagram page. Just pictures of my softball team and some of Benny and me that we took at the fair last night. I didn't post much. I only had three pictures on my page.

I tried to just convince myself that she was just trying to be nice, but I couldn't stop thinking about it at all.

I got out of bed and took a shower since I had to work at the bakery today. I didn't feel like blow-drying it, so I put it in a messy bun and did my mascara. I shuffled through all my clothes to try and find what to wear and decided on a red top with flowers and grey jean shorts.

I decided to skip breakfast because I was already an hour late.

I got on my bike and rode as fast as I could to the bakery. When I got there, I locked it to the bike rack and ran up the steps and through the doors. All the chairs were still stacked on the tables, and the lights were off. There weren't any smells that made my mouth water like there normally was when I got there.

"Gran?" I yelled.

I reached into my back pocket and pulled out my phone so I could have it ready just in case anything bad was about to happen.

When I didn't get a response, I walked slowly behind the counter and towards the kitchen door.

"Gran you there?" I yelled again just in case she didn't hear me the first time.

I cautiously pushed the metal door open and poked my head into the kitchen. No one was there. I closed the door then walked over to one of the chairs on the table and set it down for me to sit in.

If no one was there then why were the doors unlocked?

I unlocked my phone and scrolled through all my contacts until my thumb stopped on Gran's number. I clicked on her name and called her.

What scared me most is that I heard her phone ringing from in the kitchen. My heart dropped to the bottom of my stomach.

"Gran?" I yelled as loud as I could even though I knew I probably wasn't going to get a response.

This time, I sprinted into the kitchen, knocking the chair I was sitting in on the floor. When I looked in there I still didn't see anyone, until I looked on the floor behind the metal table in the center of the kitchen.

My eyes filled with tears as I saw her laying on the floor with a spilled bag of flour next to her.

"Oh my god." I ran up to her and dropped to my knees.

My hand reached back into my pocket for my phone, but I got a hand full of nothing. I left it on the table. I used my arms and pushed myself back onto my feet then ran out the kitchen and over to my phone. I opened the number pad and typed in 911 as best as I could because my eyes were blurry from all the tears.

"911 what's your emergency?" The cop answered.

"It's my grandma," I said as best as I could since I was bawling my eyes out, "I just found her on the floor."

"Okay sweetie I need you to tell me where you are." They said calmly.

"I'm at Grans Bakery... it's in Salt Lake City," I said as fast as I could, "right next to Vincent's drug store."

"Okay, we're on our way. Stay calm." She said.

Stay calm? How am I supposed to stay calm when Gran was laying on the floor unconscious?

I ran back into the kitchen, unable to breathe. When I saw her again, I dropped my phone on the floor and burst into tears.

I sat on the floor next to her and held her hand for about ten minutes while I waited for the ambulance to get here. As soon as I heard the kitchen door burst open I stood up using the little bit of strength I had left.

Three big men rushed over to Gran and me. One of them bent down to check her pulse.

"She's still breathing, but I'm not sure how much longer she can take." He said seriously.

Another man ran into the kitchen with an air mask and a stretcher.

I couldn't move. I just stood there in shock watching them lift her up onto the stretcher and put the mask on her. I was shaking to the point where I felt like I was about to pass out.

A short lady came into the kitchen and ran up to me. I couldn't hear anything she was saying. It all sounded like gibberish.

Finally, she turned me towards her with her hands on my shoulders. I looked at her, but I still couldn't hear or say anything. My eyes were wide, and my breathing was unsteady. All I could hear was ringing in my ears. Then, everything went black.

It's crazy how things can go from being so amazing one day, to what feels like the end of the world the next. Just yesterday I was at the highest point of my life, now I was passed out in a hospital bed.

My eyes slowly opened to see a tile ceiling like the ones at school. I rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn't dreaming. I was cold and dizzy, but I sat up anyway.

I looked around the room confusedly then everything came rushing back. All I could think about was Gran.

I looked to the chair next to me, and the same lady that was trying to talk to me at the bakery was sitting in it reading a magazine.

"Where's Gran?" I asked tiredly.

"You're awake." She smiled and sat the magazine down next to her. "She's in the room next to us."

I pushed the covers off me and swung my feet off the side of the bed.

The lady stood up quickly and took a step towards me.

"Where are you going?" She said concerned.

"To see my grandma," I said firmly.

"No, you're not." She crossed her arms.

"Uh, yeah I am." I spat.

"You've been out for three hours. You're not going anywhere." She said.

"And you've been in here the whole time?" I asked.

"Yeah. I had to be here when you woke up so I could ask you who to call. You're phone broke and we're not allowed to touch any of your grandma's stuff without a family member's permission."

"My dad," I said rubbing my forehead, "I'll call him if you let me leave the room."

"Stubborn, I like it." She laughed. "If you're gonna leave the bed you have to be pushed in a wheelchair so you don't pass out again."

"I'm not gonna pass out again." I rolled my eyes.

"If you say so." She shrugged her shoulders then started walking out the door.

I quickly got up and followed her to the front desk where an old wall phone was hanging.

I walked over to the phone and typed in my dad's number. The phone rang four times then he picked up.

"This is Danny More how can I help you?" He said formally.

"Dad," I said trying to not break down in the middle of the hospital.

"Ella? Who's phone are you using?" He asked in a concerned voice.

"The hospital, I found Gran on the floor in the kitchen..." I paused to take a breath to keep myself together but it didn't work. I burst into tears. "my phone broke and I passed out because I was scared and now we're in the hospital." I blurted.

For a moment he didn't respond. I could still hear his breathing but not his voice.

"Okay, stay calm." He paused, "I'm on my way." Then he hung up.

Why was everyone telling me to stay calm? There was nothing calm about what was happening right now.

I hung the phone back on the wall as my hands shook like crazy. I put my hand over my mouth to try and hide that I was crying and leaned my forehead against the wall.

The lady came up behind me and put one arm around me and her other hand on my shoulder.

"It's okay," she said softly.

I couldn't get any words out again, but this time it was because I was crying too much.

"Come on, let's get you some water." She led me towards the room we came from and helped me sit back on the bed.

As she left the room to get water, she shut the door behind her and I let it all out. All I wanted to do was go back to yesterday before this happened. I wanted to be back in Bennys arms dancing to cheesy love songs, not having a mental breakdown in a hospital. Thankfully there weren't any windows in the room I was in, so no one would see me crying.

I sat criss-cross in the bed with my head in the palms of my hands. I wasn't crying anymore, I was more numb now.

After a couple of minutes, she came back with a plastic cup filled with ice and water. She sat it on the table next to the bed then sat down next to me.

"What's your name?" She asked softly.

I lifted my head up a little to look at her.

"Ella," I said, my voice shaking from crying.

"Ella, I'm Joe." She was looking at me with sympathetic eyes. "You're Grandma is gonna be okay. I overheard them talking when I was getting you water."

"Then why can't I see her?" I asked full of anger.

"You can see her, they just needed more time to let her rest." She said picking up the water and handing it to me.

I took a sip of the cold water, then set it back on the table.

"I want to see her," I demanded.

"Of course," she stood up and held a hand out for me.

When I got up she put her hand on my back and led me to the room next to us. I stood there looking in the window of the door with my hand on the handle. She had tubes going into all different parts of her body. She was sleeping.

Suddenly we heard the sound of people running down the hall towards the front desk.

"Where is she?" A familiar voice blurted.

Dad. I turned to look towards the front desk.

"Dad," I yelled as I ran towards him.

He turned around and engulfed me in a hug as I burst into tears once again. He stroked my hair as he held me tight, then let me go and put both his hands on my face.

"Are you okay?" He said putting the back of his hand on my forehead, "are you sick?"

"Dad I'm fine," I said pushing his hands off my face, "I just got scared."

"It's okay, we're here now." He said as he pulled me back into a hug.

"We're?" I asked as my face was buried in his chest.

"Ella!" Bennys voice came from beside me.

I let go of my dad and automatically hugged Benny. He held me tight as I cried in his arms. I didn't let go of him, but I heard Joe introduce herself to my dad and fill him in on everything that was going on.

"How'd you find out what happened?" I asked as I barely let go to the point where our faces were inches apart.

"I was on my way to your house because you weren't answering my texts and I saw your dad run out and into the car." He used his thumb to wipe the mascara that was dripping down my face as he spoke. "I wouldn't stop bugging him until he let me come here with him. I couldn't let you go through this alone."

"It's true, he wouldn't shut up." my dad butted in.

I didn't acknowledge what my dad had said, instead, I looked into Bennys eyes. I could tell he was worried about me but he didn't need to be. I was fine, just worried about Gran.

"I love you," I said as I hugged him again.

I didn't even realize what I said, it just slipped out.

"What?" He said shocked.

My eyes went wide when I noticed what I said, so I let go of him again.

"Oh god," I said nervously, "it just slipped out, I'm sorry." I looked down, I couldn't look him in the eyes. What if he didn't love me back?

He tilted my chin up with his hand so I was looking at him again. He lowered his head down and kissed me softly on the lips.

"I love you too." He said quietly.

I smiled as I hugged him again.

My dad cleared his throat as he stood next to us with Joe.

We both let go and turned to face him with confused looks.

"Sorry to ruin your moment, " he paused, "but I think we should go see Gran."

"I don't know if I can," I said nervously.

I felt bennys soft hand take mine so I looked back at him.

"I'll go with you," he said seriously.

I nodded then turned back and started to walk towards her room.

Joe quietly knocked on the door then opened it slowly.

"Mrs. Moore?" she asked in her soft and soothing voice, "you have some visitors."

Gran didn't respond, but I saw that her eyes were open when I slipped through the door. I was the first to enter, then Benny, Dad, and Joe.

As soon as Gran's eyes met mine, I could see it all over again. Her laying there on the floor, her lips pale and flour all over her, me in shock not knowing what to do, and the sound of my phone shattering as it hit the floor. It was like it was happening inside my head a million times over and over. Like a horror movie, I didn't want to be watching. And then I started thinking about my mom. How she was laying there in her death bed just like Gran was. Tubes all over her, her eyes barely open but she could still hear and nod her head yes or no to questions.

My breathing started getting heavy, and I started backing towards the door. If Benny wasn't still holding my hand I would've bolted. All the memories of visiting my mom in the hospital until the day she passed came flooding back. I couldn't do this, not again.

Everyone's words started sliding together again until all I could hear was a high-pitched ringing in my ears. My hand slowly started slipping out of Bennys grip as I backed up more.

Then suddenly he looked back at me and grabbed both my hands. I looked up at him with a completely scared look on my face like I saw a murder happen or something. I could see his mouth moving but I couldn't hear him. He looked back at Joe and my dad, said something, then led me into the hallway.

I let go of his hands and slid down against the wall then wrapped my arms around my knees. When I hid my head in my arms, I could hear everything again, but my breathing was still uneven. Benny crouched down in front of me to where he was sitting on the heels of his shoes.

"Can you hear me?" he asked while putting a hand on my elbow and softly rubbing this thumb on my arm.

I looked up at him and nodded.

"What happened. Your lips were like, white," he said with concerned eyes.

"All I could think about was my mom, how I had to see her like that every day until I couldn't anymore, and how I found gran just lying there." a tear ran down the side of my face, "it was like it all was happening again."

He sat down in front of me with his legs crossed then scooted over to where he was leaning against the wall next to me. He snuck his arm around my shoulders and scooted me closer to him. I leaned my head on his chest, as he held me close to him.

We stayed like that for hours until dad and Joe finally came out of the room. I could tell my dad had been crying, but he wasn't going to admit it.

"I'm gonna stay here for the night, Benny will you walk her home?" he said, his voice shakey and eyes swollen and red.

"Yes sir," Benny said softly.

Joe looked surprised for some reason.

"How about I drive them home?" she blurted, "you shouldn't walk home after passing out earlier."

I'm sure she just used me passing out as an excuse to drive us home, which I wasn't complaining about. It was pretty hot today.

"You would do that?" dad said turning and looking at her with a smile.

"Of course. It's the least I can do," she said with the same sympathetic look she's had on her face all day.

"Thank you," Dad said, then walked back into the room without even saying bye.

"Come on, let's get you two home," she said kindly.

I held Bennys hand the entire way home. He was the only happy thing I had right now.

As we pulled up to my house, Benny got out the door and held it open for me to get out. I thanked Joe for the ride, which she responded to with a smile and a nod, then made my way out of the door.

"Are you gonna be okay by yourself?" he asked as he closed the car door.

"I don't know, but I'm definitely not gonna sleep well tonight," I said walking up to the front door.

He hesitated for a moment, with the sound of Joe's car driving off in the background.

"You can stay with me." he said nervously, "I'll sleep on the couch and you can have my bed."

"Would your mom be okay with that?" I asked not wanting to invade their home or anything.

"She's probably not home, " he said quietly but still loud enough for me to hear.

"Then who's watching Lilly?" I asked with a concerned expression on my face.

"Babysitter." he had blankly.

"Okay, just let me get my stuff and we can go."

I walked inside and up the stairs, as he waited for me on the porch.

I didn't grab much, just clothes for the morning, makeup wipes, mascara, and a hairbrush. I put it all in my bag, then ran back downstairs and out the door.

We walked to his house hand in hand, then through the door which he held open for me.

I was shocked to see Wendy Peffercorn sitting on the couch watching cartoons with Lilly and the blue elephant.

"Hey, Lilly look who it is," she said smiling at us.

"Ella!" she said with a smile and ran up to give me a hug.

I squatted down to her height and held my arms open for her. She took me into a big hug and I picked her up.

"I'm here too," Benny said jealously.

Wendy got up from the couch and walked over to us as I sat Lilly down.

"Ella right? I'm Wendy." she held out her hand which I shook with a fake smile.

"Yeah, Squints has told me a lot about you." I let go of her hand.

"Right, that scronny boy who jumped me when I was trying to save his life?" she scoffed.

"I wouldn't say he's scronny," I said defending him, "he's still just a kid."

"Right," she said with a fake laugh, then turned her attention completely to Benny.

"So, I'll be back tomorrow?" she batted her perfect eyelashes at him.

"Uh, no actually I'll be home all day tomorrow, but my mom will call you the next time we need you." I could tell he was uncomfortable with her presence.

"Then I guess I'll just see you around?" she winked with a smirk.

"Yes, " I blurted, "you'll see us around." I grabbed bennys hand as if I was claiming my territory so she would back off.