Shen Qingqiu had been sitting at his desk when, without any prior notice, Shang Qinghua rushed into his bamboo home. Ignoring Binghe's attempts to ask him for his reasons for being in Shen Qingqiu's home without previously letting him know he was going to be arriving, he slammed a pile of papers on top of the confused cultivator's work. "Shang-shidi?" He asked, mostly exasperated, but a little curious at his appearance.

"Alignment charts."

That's when Shen Qingqiu actually looked at the pages in front of him. On the uppermost page, all he saw was messily written English words. "What?" He asked, squinting as he read it. It was the 'looks like a cinnamon roll' 'looks like they could kill you' 'is a cinnamon roll' 'would kill you' "Oh dear gods."

He looked through all of the pages with some disappointment at the fact that Shang Qinghua had somehow remembered after however many years he'd been in this world. Upon seeing one specific alignment chart, he put it on the top of the pile and tightened his grip on the brush that had nearly fallen out of his hand in the lapse of concentration that had occurred in his confusion. Glaring at the other transmigrator, he wrote his name in the top left space. "Bro, why?"

"You, Shang Qinghua, are a dumb dumbass and nothing can change that." Shang Qinghua gasped over-exaggeratedly in reaction and Shen Qingqiu rolled his eyes and glared at him in a way that he hoped expressed how strong his urge to hit him was. After he'd had his over-exaggerated moment, Shang Qinghua stole the brush straight from his hand and wrote his name down in return. "Shen Qingqiu is a dumb smartass." He spoke decisively and just grinned when the other transmigrator looked at him with irritation in his eyes.

"Gods, I should be offended, but it's true, and that's the worst thing about it." Shang Qinghua snickered at the way he sounded defeated, but Shen Qingqiu wasn't done, "How did you even remember these things? You've been around for god knows how long." The defeat quickly changed to bewilderment. The An Ding peak lord stewed over that question for a moment before answering.

"A good millennial never forgets their memes." Exasperation filled Shen Qingqiu's expression and he whacked Shang Qinghua's forehead with his fan. "I'm not kidding! Ever since the first time I met that stanky ass palace master I wanted to 'ok boomer' him. It'd been like 20 years here by the time I'd first met him. He always disgusted me, like... I, y'know... I was fully aware just how disgusting he was, but he's still a sad excuse for a human being and I'm so glad he's dead."

"I'll drink to that." The Qing Jing peak lord affirmed, before suddenly giggling in amusement as if the idea of that actually happening had only just registered. "You nearly ok boomered that ugly ass pedophile... I salute you." Shang Qinghua laughed at his senior martial brother's amusement. They were both rendered speechless after a confused "Shizun?" came from the doorway. Hesitantly, the two turned to face Luo Binghe, realising that they had just been talking about things they could not talk explicitly about when others were around.

"Ah, Binghe, don't worry about these old masters. We're talking nonsense." His husband looked at him with concern in his gaze and Shen Qingqiu smiled fondly and cupped Binghe's cheek, "We'll be fine. I know that your Shang-shishu arriving now was unexpected, but he is not unwelcome. Actually... does Binghe mind getting some wine and some snacks? Your shishu and I are going to do some paperwork together."

Binghe looked a little suspicious at the sudden request, looking at the 'paperwork' like it had personally offended him, but retreated. Shang Qinghua's eyes lit up and he leaned forward to cling to Shen Qingqiu's arm excitedly. Before he could do that, the calligraphy brush changed hands and Shen Qingqiu wrote down his husband's name. "Smart dumbass. I love him but it's true." He murmured, ignoring the peak lord linking his right arm with his left like they were a pair of giggly teenaged best friends. Shang Qinghua took the brush again and Shen Qingqiu's instant response was, "How will you write, clinging to me like that? You're right handed."

"Actually, I'm ambidextrous." He then proceeded to write Mobei-Jun's name in the smart smartass space in the worst writing Shen Qingqiu had ever seen. He was surprised he could read it at all, but then remembered that some of his formerly illiterate disciples had writing as horrible at one point and realised that's why he could read it. His heart really went out to the teachers who had to understand shitty handwriting from even more children back in his original life. "Ambidextrous my ass." He scoffed and Shang Qinghua gasped like his soul had just been damaged by such a scathing insult.

"Shizun, will you and Shang-shishu be okay?" Binghe, the absolute darling that he is, asked, a concerned expression on his face as he put down a tray with various sweets and a few jars of his favourite wine. He didn't drink often but he always had some on hand if he wanted it. "Of course we will be fine, Binghe needn't worry. Perhaps Binghe can use this time for him to complete paperwork for the Demon Realm that he has been neglecting." After he was called out in such a way, Binghe's shoulders hunched as he tried to hide his face, as if he was embarrassed that his husband figured out that he'd been neglecting what he should be focusing on as the reigning demon emperor. "I will return later, Shizun. This Binghe hopes you will enjoy the snacks." Taking Zheng Yang from is its place next to Xiu Ya, he kissed Shen Qingqiu and then bowed respectfully before he left the bamboo house.

Once both transmigrators were certain that he was far out of their range, Shen Qingqiu groaned in annoyance, "He can't just... kiss me then bow to me! I'm his husband, not his master. That's dumb and I don't like it." He huffed and Shang Qinghua snickered before looking through his alignment charts again and bringing one to the top of the pile. "Shen Qingqiu's motto, please assume I'm straight." He spoke, writing down the other's name in the space, still with his left hand, and still very messy, before the person in topic could even react. He watched as Shen Qingqiu's eyes narrowed, the left one twitching slightly, before he took the jar of wine, pouring it into the cups Binghe had brought out with everything else and downing both cups without so much as a flinch before refilling them and placing one in front of Shang Qinghua.

"Bold of you to believe I've reached my peak of dumbass." He then spoke, the brush being passed back to him so he could write Shang Qinghua's name in the accompanying space. Upon realising that it was about him and not someone else, the An Ding peak lord complained about how it definitely wasn't true. "Well, it's either that or how dare you assume I have dignity?" He didn't respond after hearing that and Shen Qingqiu shot him a smug look that screamed 'yeah that's what I thought'. "Binghe when I tried to push his original harem members towards him." He wrote his husband's name in the 'Bold of you to assume I'm straight' space without hesitation. Vigorous nodding and a failed attempt to stifle laughter accompanied the voicing of that suggestion and Shen Qingqiu couldn't help but laugh a little at the other's ridiculousness.

Passing the brush to Shang Qinghua as he made grabby hands for it allowed his shidi to declare that his husband was "How dare you assume I'm straight." He didn't explain, but Shen Qingqiu knew enough to instantly know why. Wordlessly, he added Liu Qingge's name into the space for 'how dare you assume I have dignity' and Shen Qingqiu spluttered. Placing the brush back in the ink, Shang Qinghua drank the wine in his cup to prolong the silence, at one point nearly choking at the strength of it, refilling the cup before he spoke. "I will not explain. Do not ask me to explain." He then took one of the snacks Binghe had prepared, shoved it in his mouth whole, and moaned at the taste.

"You're an embarrassment."

"You know it, my dude." While Shen Qingqiu looked at him blankly, Shang Qinghua began looking through the pages again, as he was doing so, he mumbled under his breath. "Thanks for checking in, I'm still a piece of garbage." He smiled contently and pulled a new chart out, looking at Shen Qingqiu with a bright grin and picking up the brush again. As he was reading the options, Shang Qinghua had already started writing. "My king... has not said fuck before, refuses to say it."

"Binghe and Yingying, legally cannot say fuck, I will never let them be tainted that way," when Shang Qinghua went to speak, probably to say something about Binghe likely having sworn when he was not around, he was silenced with a glare, "Ming Fan on the same as Mobei-Jun." Shen Qingqiu finished and Shang Qinghua nodded in agreement. "Qingfang-shidi is in this one, as is Qingwei-shixiong..." he mumbled, writing the two names in 'has sworn off saying fuck, but said it at some point'.

"Wait, why are you still writing? You're making it look ugly." He snatched the brush and quickly wrote both of their names in the 'regularly says fuck' row. "And Qingqi-shimei." He added her name, ignoring Shang Qinghua's whine at the brush being confiscated. "Zhangmen-shixiong and Liu-shidi..." he mumbled as he wrote their names in the row for 'has not said fuck before, but can if so desired' and laughed to himself before drinking more wine and sifting through the papers again.

A little while later, everything seemed to be moving a little slower and they were still drinking, much slower than before, but still faster than they probably should be. "Airplane-bro-" Shen Qingqiu turned to Shang Qinghua to say something, hand up, brush forgotten, but still in his hand for some reason, and the ink on the brush got on his cheek. In true Shang Qinghua fashion, the second he felt the ink and the brush against his cheek, he shrieked and fell backwards. All that Shen Qingqiu could compare that to was the shock that toddlers go into when they fall, only, instead of crying, Shang Qinghua lost it laughing. Shen Qingqiu joined him seconds later, amused by a mixture of his reaction, his fall and the ink on his cheek.

"Bro... bro... Hey... hey bro... what did you want?" They squinted at each other for a few seconds and Shen Qingqiu realised that he'd conveniently forgotten whatever it was that he'd just wanted to talk about. "Uh." He said eloquently. He downed another cup of wine and... leaned over and drew a dick on Shang Qinghua's cheek. "Bro. The feeling of the brush on my face is so good. Do it more." Shen Qingqiu was pretty sure he had no idea what had been drawn on him, but he was a good friend, so of course he was going to comply.

Liu Qingge slammed open the front door of the bamboo house, not even looking at the mess surrounding the two tipsy, certainly not drunk, no, not at all, peak lords. "Shang-shixiong, I needed you and your disciples said you were here, I hope you're not busy." His footsteps stopped and the two quickly turned their heads so he couldn't see their faces at all, "Oh good, you're not busy." Shen Qingqiu snickered, seeing what was going to happen the moment Shang Qinghua's eyes lit up. His face was currently covered in dicks drawn with expensive ink, looking much like the face of one of the popular boys after a party in his original world at the sheer quantity of inked dicks on his skin. They were both going to regret that later after sobering up.

"Actually Cassidy, I am busy." Shang Qinghua spoke in a bitchy, pitched voice as he tried to mock a female voice. Shen Qingqiu huffed through his nose as he tried to stifle his laughter, especially after Shang Qinghua gagged and rubbed his neck. Liu Qingge actually looked at them after Shang Qinghua had said that, and the mild confusion at the other language turned to complete speechlessness as he saw Shang Qinghua with his face almost completely covered in ink, weird phallic designs covering his face.

The two peak lords dissolved into laughter and left their shidi to be confused as he realised that they were both most definitely drunk, and that Shang Qinghua was occupied and could not be approached for official business at that particular time. He left the bamboo house with two of his shixiong cackling like the psycho woman who lived on the streets of the town he grew up in, trying to make sense of the weird words that Shang Qinghua had spoken and wondering how Shen Qingqiu understood it.