I slowly opened my eyes to the blaring lights of a white room. I groaned as I shifted. Sitting up, I felt my body yell in pain as I ignored it.

"Morning, Blue," I heard a soft voice and almost yelled in happiness when I saw my mom put a finger to her lips and point to the foot of my bed. I nearly yelped when I saw Annabeth sleeping.

"She wanted to be here when you woke up. Skipped school and everything. Annabeth called the ambulance and me when she found you. She said she didn't know what happened except you called her after getting shot. You had surgery and got the bullet taken out of your stomach. Your shoulder had a clean shot through it, though. They stitched you up, and you've been asleep for two days." Mom informed me quietly.

I nodded. I felt my sore shoulder as I looked at Annabeth. She was still wearing my hoodie.

"Um, mom? Did they take my clothes?"

"Of course dear, they had holes and were bloodsoaked, don't worry, we can go shopping for new ones next week when I'm off" I nodded to her again and sighed contently. My two favorite people were here, and that's all I needed.

"Blue, why don't you go back to sleep? I'll tell the doctor you woke up briefly and get Annabeth some food. Focus on healing, we wouldn't want you to miss your competition next week" then she winked at me, and I nodded. Feeling drowsiness wash over me, I snuggled down into the bed, careful not to disturb Annabeth, and fell asleep.

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A few times, I woke up to see the doctors and nurses rewrapping my bandages or checking my IV. But it was only long enough to blink a few times before going back to sleep. Now though, I was actually waking up. My eyes felt heavy, but I blinked them open, sitting upright. I yawned a bit and looked around. Then seeing Annabeth in the corner with her book, my heart warmed. She was still here.

"Um, hey Annabeth," her head snapped up, and she threw her book onto the table beside her. She rushed up and hugged me, leaning over the side of the bed. She squeezed as I wrapped my arms around her; it was nice to be in her presence again.

"You stupid idiot! What did you do that made you get shot?" she said quietly, her voice dangerously calm. I gulped.

"Gabe?"

"Uh, it's sort of his fault."

"What do you mean?" she pulled away, and I instantly missed her touch. She sat down in a nearby chair and held my hand. My cheeks warmed, and looked away, my brain becoming mush.

"Um, the guy that shot me was an old friend of his" I knew I couldn't tell Annabeth. They were still out there and probably still watching me. I couldn't endanger her like that. That's why I distanced myself in the first place.

Annabeth looked at me funnily, and I had the sneaking suspicion she knew that I was lying.

"Ok, anyway, this has gone on too long. Seriously Perce, please, tell the police," I paled. No, no, no, I couldn't do that. Gabe would come back. Mom would be in danger. Annabeth might even be on his list now.

I shook my head and disentangled my fingers from hers, wincing as I scooted away.

"Percy! Please! See it from my side, ok? You're in a fucking hospital bed! I get a call from you not twenty minutes from you leaving the party barely coherent as you tell me casually you got shot? Do you even know how terrified I was? I was worried and stressing out, Percy!" she took a deep breath, and my breath got caught in my throat when I looked back at her to see tears in her eyes.

"As soon as I got off the phone with you, I called 911. I didn't care what you said last time. And when I got there a few minutes later to see you passed out in your own blood? I-" she stopped and bit her lip.

I was struggling. I knew this was my fault. I shouldn't have involved Annabeth in this. This was my problem, and I was too selfish to keep it to myself. I looked away, ashamed. I shouldn't have scared her so bad. She shouldn't have to deal with my shit. I steeled myself. I needed to be strong. Gabe was right; I am weak and pathetic. I shook my head.

I looked back at Annabeth and rebuilt my walls. This was something I needed to do alone. I couldn't let anyone in; it'll just hurt them. I smiled softly at her and rejected the warm feeling filling me from being near her. I kicked my stupid stomach into gear; I couldn't let these feelings control me. I needed to put on a brave face, one no one can get through. I took a deep breath.

"Oh shit. Percy, don't do that. I know that look." Annabeth started, then she stood up quickly and tackled me into a hug. I struggled to stay upright as she tightened her arms. I felt her warm embrace and tried to keep my walls up. I couldn't let them fall; I needed them to stay up.

"Please, please, don't shut me out. Percy, I don't care how hard it gets, just don't push me away," she mumbled into my shoulder, and I felt her tears as she cried. My breath hitched; I didn't mean for this.

Shit, pull yourself together! Choose one! Do you want to keep her close or push her away?

I tried to choose, I really did. But I was torn. It was either keep Annabeth close, keep myself happy, and put her in danger or push her away, go back to being alone and hated, have her hate me but keep her safe.

I took a deep breath. I needed to keep Annabeth safe; I didn't care what it did to me. I let her cry into my shoulder as I held her softly. I kept my face blank; I couldn't show how this killed me. Annabeth slowly stopped and pulled away. She wiped her eyes and looked away, embarrassed. Then she got off the bed and sat down.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have worried you, but you don't need to anymore," I said softly. Annabeth's head snapped up, and she looked torn between punching me and crying. Abruptly she stood up and said as she seethed under her breath, "Fine, be like that," and stormed out of the room, taking her book.

I forced a blank expression on my face and laid back down, turning to the side so my back was facing the door.

I felt like shit. I shut my eyes tightly, enough to see spots, and told myself not to cry. I bit my lip, drawing blood. I pulled the blanket across my shoulder and pulled my legs to my chest. Ignoring the searing pain as my stomach cried out. I wrapped my arms around my legs and laid there, my eyes straining as I held the tears in.

Suddenly the door opened, and I flinched, releasing the death grip on my legs.

"Hey Blue, what happened? I saw Annabeth run out and-" Mom.

I put on a blank facade and sat up, looking at my mom tiredly.

"What did you say?" she asked softly. There was no anger in her voice, and it scared me. What if she was disappointed? Of course, she was disappointed you, dimwit! You just made your closest friend run out of the hospital because you told her off! Why wouldn't she be disappointed?

I looked away from her. I kept my walls up. I had to. There was no mistaking the danger both of them were in. Also, I don't think I could talk without breaking down.

I heard the bed creak and dip down. My mom patted my hand, and she touched my chin and made me face towards her.

"Oh, Perce, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, Mom, I'm fine. My wounds just hurt."

She looked skeptical but nodded. I almost sighed in relief.

"Well, the police are here. They wanted to ask you about the shooter," I forgot to breathe. I couldn't talk to them. If I lied, I'm positive they would know, but this might be my chance to get away.

Yeah, but then there would've been no point in shutting Annabeth out, which is the exact reason why I'm not going to say anything. Those guys, they had me, I couldn't do anything. Even if I told the police, there was no reason why the collectors couldn't come after Mom and Annabeth while they were searching.

No, I would have to take the safer route, tell them the truth but not about what happened. Gabe is definitely lower on my danger list right now.

I cleared my throat. "Ok, mom, you can get them" she looked at me sadly and stood, giving me a kiss on the forehead before heading out.

Two officers switched places with her after a few minutes, and they sat down to my right. Two guys, one tall, muscly with brown short-cropped hair and the other a little shorter, lean, and had messy blonde hair.

"Hey, Percy, right? I'm officer Ryan, and this is officer Charlie. I'm just going to ask you some questions, ok?" The guy with blonde hair started talking sunnily like I wasn't in a hospital bed and were old pals seeing each other on the street. I nodded.

"Cool! Ok then, so Percy, did you see the shooter?"

Oh man, this was hard already, I gulped. "No," Ryan started writing on his notepad.

"Alright, did you know anyone who would come after you?"

"No," he started writing again; it was making me nervous.

"Have you encountered suspicious activity before that might have caused this?"

"No"

"Is someone abusing you?" I was shocked. How did we go from suspicious activity to abuse?

"While we were waiting for you to wake up, the nurses informed us of the knife wounds in your back, wrist, and chest. Also, it seemed like your ribs hadn't healed completely and were still a bit fractured," Officer Ryan elaborated, and I breathed uneasily. Keep to the lesser of the two evils. Come on, Percy!

"Um," it's just a few words. Spit them out already! "Uh, yea, yea, I was being abused," more writing.

"Who? A family member?" he looked at me with pity, and I looked away. I couldn't stand pity. I sure as hell didn't deserve it.

"Uh, it was my step-dad," I choked out, able to get the words out. Ryan wrote furiously in his notepad, and I wondered what I was doing that required so many notes.

"Thanks, kiddo. I'll see what I can do. Got any way to contact him?" Ryan smiled at me brightly as he stood with his partner.

"Um, yea, but my mom has a more secure connection" his gaze darkened a bit.

"Did your mom-"

"No!" I yelled, then I calmed down with deep breaths. They don't know. They don't know anything, calm down.

I closed my eyes tightly, reopening them. I said softly, "No, my mom didn't. She didn't even know."

Ryan nodded apologetically at me and then followed Charlie out of the room. I heard the door click and knew I couldn't stay in these suffocating walls anymore. I knew that once the police told my mom about Gabe that she would come in here, probably crying and apologetic.

I didn't want to see her upset.

My stomach was deciding to compact itself into a small ball of guilt as I was reminded of Annabeth. I shut my eyes. Throwing off the blankets, I took my IV out, biting down a cry of pain, and slipped on my converse that was by the door. Not caring that I was wearing a hospital shirt and pants, I opened the window. I thanked my lucky stars that I was on the first floor and hopped out.

I ran, feeling the intense pain in my shoulder and stomach. I huffed and felt my lungs scream at me. I judged the few blocks I ran as a reasonable distance and slowed to a speed walk.

I needed to get away. Everything was hitting me like a ton of bricks. My guilt and gut-wrenching sadness for pushing Annabeth and destroying whatever we were. My pain and guilt for my mom for all these years of not telling her about Gabe and seeing her sad because of me. I felt anger and hatred towards myself as I thought back on all the things I've done to the people I care about.

All I've done is make Annabeth and Mom sad. That's it. There was no happiness there. Honestly, they would probably feel a whole lot better if I just disappeared. I made my way to the park and sat down on a bench. I put my head in my hands.

Then I realized something.

That's it.

If I'm gone, Annabeth can forget about me. She'll be free from my problems. Mom won't have to work so hard and do what she wants as a career without worry. How was I so stupid? The answer was right there this whole time. I've only been pushing through Gabe's punishments because I wanted to live for those two.

But now that I've hurt them and turned away. There's nothing else for me to live for. There's nothing. I broke down and killed whatever I had tying me to this world. Nothing is left for me here. I stood up, might as well go out showing people what I am.

I broke into a run, not caring as my stomach and arm screamed at me. I reveled in the pain; it was going to be over soon anyway. I ran down a few blocks turning onto my own. Adrenaline rushed through my veins as I almost felt giddy.

I ran to the back of my house and slipped in using my window I had left open since the night of the party. I grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil and wrote a quick note. It didn't matter what I said anyway. They would probably forget I existed a few days after my death anyway.

I whipped open my door and walked calmly into the kitchen. I laid my note on the counter and looked around the kitchen. Nostalgia filled me as I realized this was the last thing I would see. I couldn't think of a better place.

Memories of blue cookies and making dinner with mom filled my head as I walked over to the knife block. I remembered Annabeth, who was only in here briefly, but she was here. I sighed contently. There wasn't anything I could think of to stay behind for. I grabbed a small knife off the block and sat down, my back against the cupboards.

I pulled my long sleeve hospital shirt up to reveal my right wrist. The words were a brighter white and looked almost 3D on my tanned skin. I took the knife. Just like the word says you are, finish it.

I let out a soft breath and smiled softly. Then anticipation took over, and I pressed the blade into my arm—long vertical cuts ranging from the word to almost my elbow. The white-hot pain I felt sent me images of when Gabe did the same thing. But this time, I felt sweet relief as I carved my arm. The feeling relieved me of some of the pain I felt and the weight on my chest. Warm blood flowed, and I shakily switched hands. I then cut messier vertical lines on my left arm.

I was aware of something slamming, but I didn't register what it was. Dark spots filled my vision as I saw a shape running towards the kitchen from the hallway. I sat there, my eyes growing heavy with exhaustion. I felt at peace. Now no one had to worry. I wasn't going to be a burden anymore. No one would get hurt because of me. I smiled softly as I slipped into unconsciousness.