《My Crazy Hot Interstellar Affair》46. Area Woman Stunned by Family Secret

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After a jarring reentrance out of hyperspace and into regular space, Andie squirmed in her seat. She had way too much on her mind, what with trying to figure out how to break up with Oliver, running through scenarios on the best way to bankrupt an alien organization while minimizing the chances of getting caught and keeping Rachel from invading her brain. On top of all this, Andie's skin had started shimmering pale blue.

Andie tugged the sleeves of her magical spacesuit over her hands and practiced breathing normally. When that didn't work, she hyperventilated and pretended to breathe normally, which didn't make her look any less suspicious.

Following her trajectory, Star Force One flew close to the Amu mothership. Oliver made the strangest expression as Star dipped beneath the monstrous vehicle. His stiff posture, pursed lips, and clenched hands matched Andie's. As if he too was also about to have a discussion he would rather avoid.

Plunging toward earth, they sidestepped several derelict spy satellites, the International Space Station, and a swarm of space trash, which filled the thermosphere like a mob at a Star Wars movie premiere. They landed under cover of dark, in the dead of night, on the Fairbanks Lawn of the Hollywood Forever Cemetery.

Andie wrinkled her nose. She never liked cemeteries. When she was a child, she held her breath when they drove past one, not wanting to inhale any wandering ghosts. It made sense at the time. "Oliver, why are we landing here?"

"It's close to your apartment, and the deceased are poor storytellers. Or so I have heard."

Rachel laughed. "I think you mean, 'dead men tell no tales.' But that isn't quite true. You just have to speak their language."

Andie remained silent. There was no use pointing out that landing in a cemetery didn't mean UFO enthusiasts or the military or the hosts of Alien Hunters or people out walking their dogs wouldn't notice a spaceship streaking into Hollywood. Star had to get away quickly before one or all of these entities came to investigate.

Neither did Andie want to argue with her mother about the crazy idea that ghosts exist; though a month ago Andie didn't believe in aliens either. And Rachel had those new powers. Maybe she could talk to spirits in other dimensions. Which was actually a creepy idea and the plot of more than one Hollywood movie. Perhaps Rachel's new clients would be ghosts asking Rachel to rectify wrongs. Expose murderers, locate missing wills, tell loved ones they are okay, or communicating where the extra key to the Prius is hidden. It would make sense that Rachel would do something like this. Although collecting a fee from the dead might be problematic.

"That's your biggest concern about your mother talking to dead people? How she will handle her accounts receivable?" Bad Andie quipped.

"Hilarious."

"Besides, ghosts are sexy."

"Huh?"

"Oh yes. Check out these titles when you aren't busy saving the world—The Spirit is Willing, Phantom Touch, Multiple Phantasms, Fifty Shades."

Everything went quiet as Star's engines cut out. After the ship settled, the door opened, and the gangplank lowered to the lawn. The air rushing in smelled like car exhaust and cut grass. Birdsong rose from the trees. A far-off siren screamed into the night.

Andie was home, where everything was familiar. And while it relieved her to have made it back, she had a pang of sadness about the loss of adventure. Traveling to the stars had been epic. And had included Oliver. But it was over and time for Andie to reenter real life. Like coming back to work after two weeks in Hawaii sipping Piña coladas, where your biggest worry was an even-application of sunscreen. Except she'd had plenty of worries while traveling through space. So why did she feel this way?

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Perhaps because the problems she faced now were worse than being attacked by jellyfish drones or shot at by Blackhawks. Or being threatened by an insane assistant or two. Because real-world problems couldn't be solved with Neuronic energy or with a blaster. They could never be solved at all. They festered beneath the surface.

She might as well get part one over with. Break the news to Oliver that they had to stop seeing one another. Reminding herself that this was for his own good, she cleared her throat and whispered, "Oliver, I need to talk to you."

Rachel removed her harness. "I'll meet you outside. Give you kids a private moment. There's someone here I'd like to visit."

"Are you sure you'll be alright?" Andie said, not liking the idea of her blind mom walking around a cemetery alone yakking with celebrity ghosts.

"Of course. Thank you, Star," Rachel said, patting a pink wall. Star played "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." "You are so wise, Star. Monitor these two. Don't let them do anything stupid." The music switched to "How to be Dumb," by Elvis Costello. "So right." Rachel said, sweeping down the plank, never missing a step.

Oliver and Andie unstrapped from their harnesses as well, but before Andie could utter a word, his arms were around her and his lips were on hers. Her head spun like a neutron star enveloped in a cinnamon haze. His tongue moved against hers, sending shivers to her now not-so-long-neglected nether-regions.

She couldn't remember her name, let alone what it was she was going to say to him. He pulled her head back with her hair and planted a succession of kisses along her neck. She felt each one so deeply, surely he'd left behind a string of tangible marks on her skin.

Andie moaned. Luckily, Rachel had made her way across the lawn to a rectangular fountain next to the Fairbanks monument and was deep in conversation with what appeared to be no one.

"Yes, Andromeda?" he said, a smirk on his face. He knew the effect he had on her. Although his eyes were sparking blue, so obviously the feeling was mutual.

Andie slow-blinked like a drunk fish. "I forgot what I was going to say."

"Good," Oliver said. "Because it sounded ominous." He took her hands in hers, closed his beautiful blue eyes, and kissed each finger.

Andie sighed again.

Bad Andie chortled.

"What?"

"Just you. Acting like a lovesick teenager."

"Not my fault. Look at him."

It was Bad Andie's turn to sigh. "Believe me. I am."

"Andie? Are you talking to yourself again?" He took his time reverentially kissing each of her wrists over the pulse points. Other points, located all over her body, pulsed in unison.

"No, I mean, well. Yeah. But where were we?"

"Right here," he said, opening his eyes. He looked at Andie's hands. "What the ...?" He flipped them over, examining every finger.

Andie pulled away, crossed her arms, and attempted to hide her hands under her armpits. "What?"

"Andie, your hands are glowing blue. And your face. I thought it was the strange lighting Star imposed upon us." The ship shuddered. The blue and pink lights flashed on and off like a strobe. "But it is not the lighting at all. You are luminous. This is besides the Neuronic energy you can harness. I have some theories about what might cause it. It seems impossible, but ..."

Andie yelped in alarm. No way was she discussing this with him. If he knew she might be pregnant with his child, he would never leave her.

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"Are you unwell?"

The concern in his eyes almost undid her. "No, I'm totally ... uh ... great." She bit her lip, biding for time as she tried to think up a lie. "This, um, this glowy thing kind of thing happens with human women when they, uh, I mean when it's their 'time of the month.'"

"That is about the worst lie ever told," Bad Andie accused.

"What, you have something better?"

"Yes! Tell him it's space exposure or something. You're the sci-fi nut. Use jargon."

Oliver pressed his temples. Frowned. Uh, oh! He must have discovered she was lying.

"Told you," Bad Andie said.

Oliver's dark eyebrows drew together. "Oh." His face turned red. "Time of month. I had done no research on this before. Very sorry."

Andie grinned. "That's all right. We can't expect you aliens to know everything about human reproduction." Now Andie's face flamed. She hadn't thought this joke out well beforehand.

"Nice try though," Bad Andie said. "And your lie seemed to work. Like most men, once he found out it was about female issues, he decided not to pursue it."

"If you're sure you are okay?"

"I am fine."

Outside, Rachel was walking in tight circles out on the lawn. If Andie didn't get out there soon, Rachel would tamp the grass into crop circles. The groundskeepers wouldn't appreciate that. Time to get this over with.

Andie opened her mouth to speak, but Oliver reached out and smoothed her hair and her mouth closed. Tingles skittered up her neck. Stupid tingles. "Your wellness fills me with much joy. Because there is something I must do. It will not take me long. After I return, we can be together. I have many ideas about how I would like to spend time with you. Alone." Oliver's eyes crackled blue.

Dragonflies, butterflies, and other cute flies that she couldn't name at the moment because her brain was only operating at 50% of normal flitted inside her stomach. "Ideas?" Andie croaked. He was making this breaking up thing way too hard.

"Oh, yes. When I get back from the mothership ..."

"You're going to the mothership?"

"I must. Pilot is making a report, and I must discuss this with my father."

Andie should've realized where his loyalties lay. This was very disappointing. "You're going to tell him?"

Oliver's forehead crinkled. "Of course. But that is not the only reason." He shook his head. "I must talk to my father about my mother. She is damaged and needs help."

He still didn't know about Cyra! In all the chaos, she'd forgotten to tell him. Great. As if she didn't already have enough bad news. But she had to do it now, because she may never have another chance.

"Oliver, there is something you need to know about your mother."

"What?"

"At the Colony. On the beach. When your mother shot you. Your father said that she was not the original Cyra. She was a replicant. The reason she is deranged is because of the replicant process. Oliver, she didn't know her husband was replicating her to fit his warped desires. I meant to tell you. I am so sorry."

He swallowed hard. "You mean she was not my actual mother?"

Andie's heart was breaking for Oliver. "She wasn't."

"All these years, I believed my mother had rejected me. Disapproved of me. And he never thought to tell me the truth. I must go now. This will not wait. Star will arrange an Uber to take you and your mother home."

"Star has an Uber account? Isn't she a little large to fit in a car? No offense, Star. I mean you are a very svelte spaceship. Probably from doing so many laps around earth."

Star purred. Or maybe that was just the engines starting up.

Oliver took Andie's head in his hands and kissed her soundly. Andie memorized the warmth of his lips, the feel of his hands caressing her chin, the bliss of having his chest pressed close to hers. The few molecules that existed between them charged and alive with blue energy. Her head spun. The kiss ended. "I will return soon, my beautiful galaxy," Oliver breathed. She turned to leave, but he grabbed her hand and spun her toward him. His eyes blazed. "I love you, Andie. Stay safe until my return."

"Is that an order?"

"Yes, it is. Because I know how much you love orders." He winked.

"I love you too." Andie managed a weak smile. She knew she was being a wuss, not telling Oliver it was over. But he had to face his dad right now. And wasn't this why there were notecards? Letters? Email? Notes in bottles tossed into the ocean? "Goodbye, Oliver. And Star. Thank you both for everything," Andie said, trudging down the gangplank like she was weighed down with ballast, walking the plank on a pirate ship into a watery grave.

Once she hit the ground, she ran, leaving the ship behind. She searched for her mom, who was no longer on the lawn. With each jarring step on the grass and over concrete, avoiding headstones, she wondered what she would say to Rachel.

Andie hardly knew the plan herself. But if she went through with her embezzlement scheme, and was pregnant, she would have to disappear for a while at least. The less Rachel knew, the better in case the Feds took her to a dimly lit, smoky room and questioned her about her daughter's whereabouts. Although, come to think of it, Andie felt sorry for the Feds. They would get nothing out of Rachel that she didn't want to tell. A wash of pride swept over Andie. Her mom was an airy fairy, but when she wanted, she could be as transparent as mud.

Andie caught up with her outside an ivy-covered mausoleum. A plaque on the wall read "Judy Garland Pavilion."

"Hey, Mama," Andie said, catching her breath.

"Is your young man gone?"

Andie's eyes flicked upward, but Star was an unidentifiable speck amongst the few celestial stars straining to be seen in the Hollywood skies. "My young man? I really don't even know how old he is. I never thought to ask. But yes, he's gone."

"Do you remember when you, Sterling and I watched The Wizard of Oz every year? Well, you watched, I listened."

"Of course. Pilot would never agree to be Toto. Sterling always had to be Glinda." Andie's voice caught in her throat.

"I miss them too," Rachel said.

"I know, Mama."

"Like each of the characters in the movie, you have everything you need to find happiness. You have brains, courage, and an enormous heart. Just like your father."

Just like your father. Apparently Rachel already knew what Andie was about to do. She hung her head. "You're right, Mom. I am going to be just like dad. An embezzler. A cheat. A criminal. I am about to break every oath I've ever made and bankrupt the Star Enquirer. But I can't think of any other way to shut down the Amu operation. And they must be stopped. This has to end." Tears streamed down Andie's face. "Look, we better get out of here and out to Santa Monica Boulevard. There's an Uber on its way." Andie was so ashamed, she couldn't wait to be alone.

"Andromeda, what in the world are you talking about? Your father is a saint."

"Mama, I don't know what happened to your brain after being on the Colony, but maybe all those years of living over a pot dispensary have finally caught up with you. Dad's in jail. Saints don't go to jail."

"Plenty of saints go to jail. Your dad did what he did for me. He wanted to pay for an experimental surgery to fix my eyes. The surgery had to be done quickly, or it wouldn't work. He felt responsible for me losing my sight because it was he who was driving the car when we got into the accident."

"What?" Andie said, aghast. Her entire worldview came crashing down. "Why did you never tell me this?"

"I'm sure I did."

"I think I'd remember. All these years, I blamed him. Did everything I could not to be him. The whole reason I'm an accountant, a fiduciary, is because I wanted to be the opposite of him."

"Well, that didn't turn out, did it? You are just as kind and willing to do whatever it takes to help the people you love."

"Your father's actual crime was loving your mother." That's what Pilot had said. "But it's stealing, Mama."

"I've glimpsed the future as best I can. Parts are shrouded—perhaps because of decisions yet unmade. But you've begun a course. And it is right. The Amu will move on. You will save Hollywood. And I love your idea for the Zuts! A stroke of genius. They should have their own restaurant."

"How do you know what I am planning for them? I barely know myself."

"You really don't listen well. I can read your mind, remember?"

"Please stay out of my head."

"I don't venture in there when I can help it. Way too much math. But you're a broadcaster. I can't help overhearing."

"Mom!"

"The Uber has arrived. Time to go. And do not worry so much, sweetheart."

"I ..."

"Yes, I will give Dad your love. No, I won't tell the Feds. Yes, I will be fine."

Weirdly, even with all that lay ahead, it felt like a Hummer-sized weight had been lifted from Andie's shoulders. She was just like her father. But that was okay. Sometimes we must do terrible things to save the people we love. And the only forgiveness we have to seek is our own.

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