Oliver cleared his throat.

Which Andie ignored. Sort of. Flying dogs and the inverse nature of the universe notwithstanding, a sense of dread gnarled its way up her spine and lodged itself like a knot in the back of her neck. It was time to leave and do bad things. Very bad things.

"Hi, Oliver. You look well." Sterling shone her glowy perfection on Oliver, giving him the once over.

Andie pushed down a powerful desire to conk Sterling over the head with her desk—one of the few surviving objects in the office. Andie rubbed her sore neck, trying to calm herself. She'd thought the moon's influence had subsided, or she'd gotten used to it. Or maybe even bested it. It was still there, but as more of a constant, low-level ache than an overwhelming desire to kick her best friend's ass for boyfriend gawking. Ex-boyfriend gawking. "No thanks to your drones," Andie grumped.

Sterling pressed her lips together. "I'm glad there was no permanent damage."

Andie pushed down a powerful desire to conk Sterling over the head with her desk—one of the few surviving objects in the office. Andie rubbed her sore neck, trying to calm herself. She'd thought the moon's influence had subsided, or she'd gotten used to it. Or maybe even bested it. It was still there, but as more of a constant, low-level ache than an overwhelming desire to kick her best friend's ass for boyfriend gawking. Ex-boyfriend gawking. "I'm glad my drones didn't do any permanent damage."

Oliver looked down at the street where the dead drones were scattered, piled up amongst the abandoned cars—a metallic graveyard. "I wish I could say the same for them, Miss Champagne."

"Me too. But we'll rebuild. They had faulty programming anyway. And I'm sick of jellyfish." Sterling smiled at Star. "I think we'll go for bat rays this time. Star's tail looks like it could be wicked."

"Oh, it can be," Oliver laughed. Star rewarded him with a canary glare.

"Hello, Mrs. Bank," Oliver said.

Andie should have introduced him to Rachel. This would be the first time she'd been able to see him. Andie hoped her mom wouldn't blurt out any "revelations" about future parenthood or the weird steak knife collection Andie had amassed as a child. Hey, they were so shiny! And serrated!

"Hello, Oliver. You are very handsome. I can see why Andie—" Andie elbowed her mom gently in the side.

"Mama, we should go," Andie said.

Sterling's jaw dropped. "You can't possibly be thinking of taking Mama with you," Sterling said.

Andie folded her arms across her chest. "Ster ..." Unfortunately, trying to look stern when you're a half a foot shorter than the person you're trying to intimidate doesn't work well.

"No. You cannot risk her life," Sterling sputtered. Andie could tell that although Sterling had given up on Andie staying, she had been mollified by the thought that Rachel would be there for her.

"She won't be risking her life. The contract she signed is invalid. The Gandulfians insist on the celebrities signing of their own free will. Right, Oliver?"

Pilot stood on his hind legs and glared at Oliver, who glanced back, then gave a quick nod in answer to Andie's question. The wind picked up, whipping through Oliver's straight brown hair. Andie longed to smooth it. Tug it between her fingers and bring his mouth ... What was she doing?

This had to stop. It had to be the moon messing with her libido.

Andie gritted her teeth and barred all thoughts of Oliver and his luscious lips and his cinnamon deliciousness.

"Uh, huh," Bad Andie said. Andie could feel the eye roll. It really sucked to have an alter ego to call you on your shit.

"As I was saying," Andie said. "Talia coerced mama. And Mama was blind. She couldn't even read the contract. And the Gandulfians are really strict ..."

Sterling narrowed her eyes. "How do you know about the Gandulfians?"

Andie gave Oliver a pained look, hoping she wasn't about to get him in trouble. He nodded, barely visible. "Oliver told me."

"Well," Sterling expelled a breath. "I see. But I can't allow it. Too risky. Think about it Andie, Mama can see here."

Rachel cleared her throat. Both Andie and Sterling looked at her, standing there as serene as a Buddha statue. "I love you both more than the heavens themselves," Rachel said. "But you two are completely nuts if you think I am going to let you decide whether I stay or go. It's my life. And I belong on earth. I have much to accomplish there. It is my home. I respect your decision to stay or go. And I'll miss you, Sterling, like I would miss air or water or Tofurky at Thanksgiving. But I must insist you respect my choice as well."

Andie and Sterling's eyes widened. Rachel had never been so adamant before. Andie didn't even know her mother could speak 'adamant.' "But, Mama," Sterling said, hands out, pleading.

"Sterling Abigail Champagne. You may be the overlord of this enterprise, but you are not the boss of me." Relief rolled over Andie. "I promise we will meet again."

"How can you know that?" Sterling said, with a shaky voice.

"Pilot told me."

Sterling put her hands on her hips. "And how does Pilot, a dog if I may point out, know such a thing?" As Andie was winning this fight, she didn't bother to point out how many times over the years Sterling had insisted Pilot really was a psychic wonderdog.

"Because he's not a dog," Rachel said simply.

Sterling pursed her lips, gazing at Pilot, who stood taller. He tugged at the fringed edge of his red scarf. Barked, once. "Let me see ... golden fur, long snout, extended canines, farts in bed ... dog."

Pilot growled.

"What is he then, Mama?" Andie said.

"Pilot is a Gandulfian watchdog. Sent to earth to monitor Amu activities."

Andie's eyes practically popped out of her head, like a cartoon character. Of all the explanations, this was the last one she'd expected.

Still, she knew of the truth of this statement as so many pieces fell into place—Pilot hating to be petted, refusing to play Toto, his obsession with Anderson Cooper, not to mention psychically communicating with Rachel and feeding her true information about the future.

"So he's like in a dog suit?" Sterling said.

"Not at all," Rachel said. "A Gandulfian's natural form is dog-shaped. Many of the dogs of earth are descended from Gandulfians, as a matter of fact. They're randy little creatures."

Pilot growled again.

"Don't you get started with me too," Rachel said. "You're the one who told me that. And I've seen you drooling over that cute little shih tzu next door."

Pilot, a member of the most advanced civilization in the universe, wisely stayed silent.

"Now Sterling, give your mama a kiss."

Sterling burst into tears. "I can't lose you both. Please stay."

"Shhh. You will be happy. Pilot has seen the future, and he has assured me of this."

"I love you, Mama." The two women hugged, and even with all their differences—age, height, dress, disposition—for a moment they blurred together into one being.

Rachel backed up, held Sterling's face in her hands, drinking in the sight as if it was something she would have to remember for a very long time. Then she deftly leaped across the window opening and into Oliver's waiting arms.

Andie knew now it was her turn to do something. Like, moving ahead with her life. Perhaps just move from where she stood. But metaphorical roots had shot out of her feet and held her in place. Or maybe it was more a sensation of trying to take a step as a wad of industrial-strength chewing gum tugged at the bottom of her shoes.

Or maybe it was like being on a planet with crushing gravity, like Jupiter, where (based on Newton's law of gravitation, weight = mass x surface gravity), Andie would weigh two hundred and eighty pounds.

Or maybe it was like being on a planet with crushing gravity, like Jupiter, where (based on Newton's law of gravitation, weight = mass x surface gravity), Andie would weigh 280 pounds.

"Are you trying to kill me?"

"Honestly, no. I'm trying to hit the pause button of life so I don't have to face leaving Sterling or what I'm about to do to Oliver. I am a coward."

"You, a coward? Puh–leeze."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you realize all you went through to rescue Sterling? All the dangers you faced getting here. How many times have you risked OUR life?"

"None of that counts. She is my best friend and my sister. Anyone would do it."

"And I thought your pre-pregnancy brain was bad."

"WE DON'T KNOW IF I'M PREGNANT!"

"If WE'RE pregnant. And stop shouting. I'm trying to read."

"Oh, right. How to Expect When You're Expecting, The Alter Ego Edition. As if that exists."

"No, that was too boring. Now I'm into non-fiction. Reading about accounting."

"Huh?"

"Figure if I have to live inside your skull, I might as well know what you're thinking about half the time. And come on, Generally Accepted Accounting Principles is scintillating reading."

Andie did not discuss it with Bad Andie, but what she knew for sure was this: once she moved, nothing would be the same. She might never see Sterling again. Already, she felt the loss of Sterling like an ache. Like a missing puzzle piece. Like a phantom limb. But Oliver watching her, eyes sparking, made her melt into her alien booties. She wanted nothing more than to rush into his arms and kiss him senseless.

"Then do it," Bad Andie suggested.

"I won't. He can't know. The only chance he has for a normal life is without me in it."

"I thought you were supposed to be smart."

"I thought you were supposed to be imaginary."

"Well, neither of us apparently who we thought we were."

"Andie," Oliver called from the entrance to Star. The same place he'd fallen on top of her while escaping his evil mother and her minions. His mother, who was not his mother. "It's time."

"Just a minute, Oliver."

"Sterling, I ..."

"It's okay, Andie. I know. Friends forever, right?"

"Of course. But I just do not know how my life will work without you in it."

"Same. But Pilot says we will meet again. So it's not forever. And you do have ..." Sterling lifted her chin toward Oliver. "And kinky blue zappy magic. Which is totally cool. I'm pretty sure you're going to be okay."

Andie hugged Sterling, inhaling her Herbal Essence scent, perhaps for the last time. Tears welled in her eyes. "Whose apartment will you break into when I'm gone? Who will you trick into meeting you at a cool/hot club in the middle of the night and drink deadly alcohol with? Who will kick the asses of traitorous drones for you?"

Sterling pulled back, her eyes also filled with tears. "No one. That's why you ought to stay here with me."

"I can't," Andie whispered.

"Don't forget me," Sterling said.

"How could I? Plus, I can tune into As the Earth Turns and check up on you."

Sterling sniffled. "I promise to appear on camera every week. I'll even tug my ear like Carol Burnett used to do. So you'll know everything's okay."

"Thanks."

"And it's all yours. My mansion. All my money. My shoes! Please take care of Ban Plastic Surgery Now!"

"Of course, I will," Andie said, though her throat was constricting with sorrow. "Thank you, my friend." Andie leaped toward Star's entrance. Right past Oliver's waiting embrace.