《My Crazy Hot Interstellar Affair》16. Alien Seducion

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"Not again," Andie groaned.

For the second... third time? Andie threw up in front of the hottest alien/creature/guy ever in the known universe and beyond. "I'm so sorry." The acrid odor of regurgitated red wine did not have any sort of aphrodisiacal qualities; Andie was fairly certain.

"What are you doing here, Andromeda?" said Oliver, clenching his jaw, and sadly ... his towel. The vomit disappeared from the sheet along with the scent. Thank god. Magic hankies and now magic sheets. His eyes sparked electric blue. Was he angry? At her? Maybe he had already heard of Talia's treachery. After all, it wasn't as if Andie wanted to be here. Okay, maybe she did since this is where her stupid traitorous brain took her. The relocation was Bad Andie's fault. Andie recalled her shift in concentration right before she Wormholed. The trollop was gaining too much power.

"You can thank me later," purred bad Andie. "Will you look at that towel? I'd say Mr. Hot Alien Man is happy to see us.

"Stop it. You got your way. I'm here, naked in his sheets. Now let me concentrate so he doesn't think I'm a lunatic who talks to herself inside her head."

"You're lucky I even bother talking to you. Of all the brains I had to hang out in, it had to be yours—most boring person alive."

"That's pretty laughable, given the circumstances. Now leave. He's wrinkling his forehead, trying to decide if I'm crazy."

"Make sure you do that thing when you touch his ..."

"QUIET!"

To spite Bad Andie, Andie tugged the duvet up to her neck. "Where have you been all night? I've been trying to call. Talia tried to attack me again."

"She what? Are you okay? I was searching for her," he said. "May I ask how you got into my house?"

"I did a test Wormholing run from my bathtub and planned to go to my bed. I accidentally ended up here. Hey, is that a tree behind you?" Glowing glass balls the size of grapefruits, hung from the branches of a fifteen-foot evergreen that seemed to grow out of the floor. There was something almost alive moving inside each ball-shaped ornament, but Andie couldn't make out exactly what it was. Oliver didn't seem like the Christmas tree in August kind of guy. Surreptitiously, she scanned the bedroom for a collection of house cats.

"Are you insane?"

"I'm not the one with the Christmas tree in my bedroom. Tonight has been crazy thanks to your fiancé, who tricked me into going to the beach alone, tried to blow up Sterling's airplane, and then kidnap me. On top of that, it turns out my mother's dog can predict the future, and is that tree actually growing out of the carpet?" The dark room made it hard to tell.

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"She is not my fiancé. You could have been killed. It takes an Amu years to perfect Wormholing. It is a miracle you survived. Did you say, Talia tried to kidnap you and blow up Sterling's plane?"

"Yeah. Nice girl. Or devil's spawn or whatever she is."

"I must go immediately and deal with her."

Andie's heart sank. Sure, she wanted Talia to be strung up by her fingernails and flogged (fully dressed), but did he have to do it right now? And what exactly did he mean by "deal with?"

"Sorry I bothered you."

"What do you mean?"

"Look. Coming here was an accident. I meant to go to my bed, and I ended up in yours."

"Accidentally?"

"As I said."

"You should not be here—especially naked. I can see you want me, Andromeda. But it is not possible for us to be together."

Andie turned red. What the hell? Was it because he wanted to be with Talia? "Don't tell me what's possible. Everything about you is impossible, yet here we are." She peeled off the shower cap and let her chestnut hair cascade over the pillow. Meanwhile, the sheet dropped, revealing one breast. His eyes sparkled with blue light. "What's up with your eyes?"

Oliver closed them, but blue sparks escaped from beneath his luxurious dark eyelashes. "It's called Neuronic energy—a trait of the Amu royal family. It's harmless. Most of the time, anyway. If it bothers you, I will keep my eyes closed until you are dressed. There are shirts in the top dresser drawer. Don one, and I will Wormhole you home."

"For your information, no one says 'don' anymore unless referring to someone named Don. I'll just Wormhole myself. I have plenty of time left on my two-hour Wormholing window. I read the instructions carefully and know the effects last for two hours. That way you can get back to Talia faster. But, so you know, she's going to be unconscious for about ten more hours." The Zuts had the Cannon set on high stun."

His sparkly eyes opened as wide as flying saucers. "The Zuts went outside?"

"They did. And loved it, Oliver. It was beautiful. They are amazing ..."

"I do not want to find Talia for any other reason than to make sure justice is served. And I cannot allow you to Wormhole again. You will die sooner or later. You have no idea the risk you have taken."

"Allow? I don't need your permission."

"Andromeda, you must promise you will never again attempt to Wormhole."

Wow. He seemed utterly serious. At least he cared.

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He'll never sleep with us if you fight him.

Shut up, Bad Andie. I will not lie.

But no way was she going to stop Wormholing. She managed a contrite expression.

Oliver shook his head, then turned away and walked toward a dresser. This gave her the opportunity to admire the flexing of his trapezius and deltoids and the hard curve of his luscious alien backside. She bit her lip. More than anything, she wanted an unobstructed view of its magnificence. "Can we flip on a light? I'm not a superman alien with super-vision like you."

Not to mention Andie wanted a peek at Oliver's unmentionables. She wished she had superhuman powers and could telekinetically vaporize the dratted towel.

Oliver pulled another of his magic tricks, and without moving, the room glowed blue. The ceiling transformed into a realistic approximation of the night sky complete with twinkling stars, planets, a crescent moon, swirls of galaxies, and a glowing band of light—the Milky Way. It reminded Andie of a 3-D planetarium show at the Griffith Observatory. Oh look, there was a shooting star and a caption described the heavenly flash of light as part of the Perseid meteor shower. Damn.

In the time Andie spent gawking at the fake night sky, Oliver had slipped on a pair of trousers. Even though she couldn't see all of his heavenly body, what she could see in the light was even sexier—the way his pants slung low on his hips, and his happy trail pointed arrow-like toward, well, happiness.

He caught her visually devouring his body and rewarded her with a shy smile. Her heart skipped a beat or two.

"This is wrong," he said, closing his sparking eyes. "Please get a shirt out of the drawer." He turned around to give her privacy.

Andie exhaled, rolling her eyes, and climbed out of bed, head throbbing. At least the nausea had dissipated. Her toes scrunched into a spongy pile of what appeared to be orange shag carpet. If Andie had had to guess what kind of carpet an alien would have in his home, this would've been last on the list. He waved his hand, and the top dresser drawer popped open by itself. Andie jumped. "Could you let me know when something is going to spring out at me?"

"Sorry, Andromeda."

Andie exhaled and shuffled through his shirts. Each one appeared to be for some admirable cause. There was even one for Ban Plastic Surgery Now! She settled on the most worn shirt—No Planet B. Hilarious.

"Are you clothed?"

"Sort of," Andie lied.

Oliver faced her, and she threw herself at him, pressing her still wet and naked body into his, aiming her mouth at his voluptuous lips. Fireworks exploded. The blue light crackled in the air. She pushed him to the bed, fumbling at his pants. "Andie. I cannot."

"Can't or won't?"

"It's not like I do not want to," he said, breathing hard.

"Believe me, I can tell you want to. No disguising your interest."

"But ..."

Andie pushed him off. What was she doing? It had to be the wine. "I don't know what I was thinking. I'll go." Andie stumbled off the bed, grabbed the threadbare t-shirt and put it on. It smelled like him—like a cinnamon breakfast pastry. Yum. "Thank you, Mr. Lieder. This won't happen again. By the way, have you reviewed the investment analysis I sent you?"

He scrubbed his head, messing up his hair in way too sexy a fashion. "I am sorry I have not gotten back to you on that. It is brilliant. By all means. I will see that you have full written authority to transfer the assets as you alone see fit, to whichever investments you deem appropriate.

She should've argued with him about that being too much power for one person, but instead, she held out her hand for a professional-style handshake. Professional-style in that most truly professional handshakes do not take place between the sparsely clothed. As soon as their hands clasped, the blue light surged from his body and surrounded both of them with an aura of crackling blue.

As if by some outside force, their bodies crushed together. Their mouths could not find each other fast enough. With both hands, he pulled her face to his and kissed her so profoundly; it would be okay to die right at that moment because the kiss was more exhilarating than climbing Mt. Everest or parachuting out of an airplane or swimming with dolphins in Hawaii.

Nothing remained to see or accomplish after being kissed by him. His lips were soft, but the kiss was not. She looked into his eyes, scared out of her mind. The kiss in his office, the one she thought must be the best kiss shared by any two people anywhere in the universe, paled by comparison.

"Oh, my god," breathed Andie, her brain as frothy as whipped egg whites.

"I am not ..."

"I know, a god ..." Oliver said, as he proceeded to prove his skills in the bedroom would put the Greek gods to shame.

(If you want to read the detailed sex scene, it's now a bonus chapter. Have fun! If you prefer fade-to-black, continue on to chapter 18!)

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