Talia lay a crumpled heap on the gravel. Normally, Andie would consider an unconscious Talia, frozen with a look of shock on her face to be a great improvement over the usual sneering version, but right now Andie wished she would wake up and tell her where to find the remote signal to turn off the bomb.

"Andie, I do not think shaking her over and over will locate the device," said Ernest.

"But we're running out of time," Andie said, as she crawled over the gravel in search of anything that might be a bomb turning-off device.

"This is unfortunate news, Andie," said Ernest solemnly. "There is nothing we can do."

Pilot growled. "What is it boy?" said Andie.

Pilot gave her his "look."

"Sorry," said Andie. "What is it, oh Psychic Wonderdog?"

Ignoring Andie's sarcasm, Pilot held his tail erect, his head high over his shoulders, strutted to the collapsed pile of Talia, and gave the Amu assistant's face a thorough tongue bath. He drooled for good measure. His saliva flowed down her face into her ears and hair. Talia remained motionless. She had to be out cold. No conscious being could sleep through such slobber.

Pilot sniffed Talia's body. He growled at her stiletto boot and threw a beckoning glare at Andie. In her mind, she could almost hear him say, "Check out what's inside her boot. I think it might be the answer to saving our precious Sterling." What the hell? Had Andie heard a psychic message from the dog? Please let that not be the case. It was enough for one week that she had to accept the existence of aliens.

But then again. If he was right, it might save Sterling.

Andie tugged off Talia's boot and held it upside down. A pink iPhone fell out and landed with a thunk on the gravel. The screen illuminated a countdown clock. Less than ten minutes remained. Holy crap. Pilot found the signaling device. "Good, good, good, puppy," Andie cried, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Andie fumbled with the buttons, trying to unlock the screen.

"Unauthorized entry," said Siri. "Countdown continuing."

"Siri, shut down the destruct sequence," Andie screeched, her hand trembling.

"I'm sorry Dave, I can't do that," said Siri.

"I'm not Dave; I'm Andie. And you must shut down immediately."

"I'll need the proper entry code, Andie."

Think, think. What would Talia use as a code? Andie knew little about her other than that she was vain, ruthless, and insane. Insane people have their own logic, which is not comprehensible to the sane.

Eight minutes, thirty-two seconds, and counting.

"What is that device, Andie?" asked Rosalie.

"It's a Smart Phone. Have you never seen one?"

"It is not an Amu device," said Ernest.

"I know that," said Andie. Her palms sweated, and her head throbbed. She had to remain calm and think. Think. Talia was no rocket scientist, even if she was part of an advanced alien race. If she had intelligence, she wouldn't have put together such a convoluted plan to get Andie's cooperation.

"Wait. It's not Amu."

"No, Andie," agreed Rosalie. "We have no need for such basic devices. No disrespect intended, Andie. Also, we never have pink technology."

A pink iPhone.

What if ...

It was worth a try. Andie punched her password into the phone. The countdown continued, but she had successfully entered the main screen. She found an app icon of an airplane on fire hitting the ground titled Air Traffic Controller. Andie clicked. Four minutes, fifty-one seconds remaining. There were no navigation tools within the app. She pressed everywhere on the screen. In utter frustration and panic, Andie commanded Siri, "shut down sequence."

"I'm sorry Andie, I can't do that."

"Why the hell not? I had the right password."

"True. But shutdown can only occur with one second on the clock."

"Are you kidding me?"

"I am serious."

"Why?"

"It is always that way in movies."

"But this isn't a goddamned movie."

"Finding movie theater locations ..."

"Shut up."

"Ten, nine, eight, seven, six ..."

"I said shut up."

"Three, two, one. Destruct sequence disengaged."

"Thank god."

"I don't see a god in your address book. Should I search for businesses by that name?" said Siri.

"Just call Sterling."

"Mobile or Home?"

"Mobile," Andie shrieked.

"Sterling. Are you okay? I've been so worried."

"Other than the fact that I hate you right now, I'm fine."

"I love you, Sterling. I am so sorry I didn't support you." Andie sobbed.

"I was just giving you a hard time. Be easy. I'm not mad for real."

"No, it's not that," Andie snuffled. Cash handed her a magic hankie. She blew her nose."

"I've got to go, honey. I'll call you later."

"Bye," Andie said, but the line had already disconnected.

"You did it, Andie," said Ernest. "You saved your friend."

"It was something you said that made me think of the solution."

"What did I say?"

"You pointed out that it was not an Amu device and that they were never pink. I realized it was my Smart Phone. Talia must have Wormholed into my apartment. God, I wish I could Wormhole. Talia stole my phone, downloaded the evil app, and tricked me into coming here. The question is, why would she use human technology when Amu is so advanced?"

"I think maybe she thought if she used your phone she could blame what happened on you, Andie," said Rosalie.

I guess that makes some kind of sense," said Andie. "You're pretty smart."

"For a mutant."

"For anyone. And stop calling yourself that. I can't stand it."

"Sorry, Andie."

"How did you know where to find me?"

"We live at the office," said Rosalie. "We spy for entertainment."

Andie could not figure out the connection between these two statements and how they answered her question.

"I see you are puzzled, Andie," said Ernest. "We monitor the penthouse on many nights."

"Yes, when Rachel Ray is on," said Frank with a grimace.

"We took the Cannon out of your desk before they moved the new one into your office," said Cash. "We want you to have it." He held out the camera/weapon.

"Uh ... thanks. But I don't know how to use it, anyway."

"Remember the manual, Andie," said Ernest. "You will find it quite informative. But please be careful." The Zuts began shuffling their feet and clicking to one another. Their skin glistened and turned the color of overripe avocados. "Are you guys okay?"

"We have had enough of the outside now, Andie. Goodbye."

"Bye." The Zuts scuttled into the ocean with Talia. "We are excellent swimmers," Rosalie assured Andie.

"Too bad they can't Wormhole. I would give anything to be able to do it. Stop looking at me like that, Pilot, or you'll be eating slenderizing meatless dog food for the rest of your life."

***

Back at the apartment, Andie cut up some turkey from a sandwich she had delivered by a local sub shop and put it in Pilot's bowl.

He inhaled it and looked up at her with his big brown doggie eyes.

She cut up the rest of the turkey and added it to the dog dish. "That's all of it, boy. So don't ask for more."

"I need some wine," said Andie, rooting around in the dusty wine cabinet. "Does Rachel have anything other than Two Buck Chuck?" No such luck. She opened the bottle, sniffed, grabbed a tiki mug, and padded down the hall to the bathroom, planning on reading the manual and drinking the entire bottle of wine while in the tub. Her feet ached from running in kitten heels.

She had to step over Pilot, who had positioned himself in the hallway right outside of the bathroom.

Andie slipped into the lavender-scented bath, her muscles groaning with relief. The candlelight flickered in the steamy air against the old pink and black tiled wall.

Despite everything that happened, being naked made Andie think about Oliver. Where had he been tonight? Why hadn't he answered her calls?

Bad Andie supplied visual images of Oliver, naked in the bathtub, slowly working her over with a soapy loofah. She felt the gentle strokes of the rough sponge over her nipples, which hardened in response. She imagined his mouth attached to hers, kissing her frantically. Bruising her lips. Andie slipped her hand between her legs, visualizing they were Oliver's knowledgeable fingers stroking her to ecstasy. Possessing her. Mmmmm.

"Stop with the romance novel terminology," said Andie, squeezing out the loofah and setting it on the rim of the tub.

"I'm pretty sure you were enjoying it," said Bad Andie. "Stop thinking about Talia. You're seriously messing with my ch'i."

"Ch'i? Where do you even get this stuff?"

"Bye. Going to read this gargoyle romance that's been on my list for ages."

"Gargoyle romance?" Andie said, but Bad Andie had already slipped away.

Back to obsessing about Talia's words: I will possess him. He will be my slave. He will exist moment to moment, waiting for me to take him to my bed. If I withhold sex from him for more than a day, he will sink into a depression so profound, he will wish he were dead.

Could this be true? Would Andie not be able to please Oliver the same way Talia could? A wave of jealousy poured over Andie. Almost as a dream, Andie pictured Oliver and Talia nude on some weird stage. Andie squirmed naked in a scratchy velvet theater seat, her arms bound to the chair with rough hemp rope. As she struggled, the ropes only tightened. Oliver stood while Talia kneeled at his feet, clutching his well-endowed man equipment and bringing it to her mouth.

Andie pushed the image away and replaced it with anger. Talia would not make Oliver her slave. Not as long as Andie drew breath. And no way was Talia going to hurt Sterling. What was going on there? Talia had mentioned that Cyra wanted Sterling badly. The only way to fight Talia was to become more like her. More powerful. More Amu.

Andie slapped open the manual.

She turned the page. It was written like a recipe book. Of course, the Zuts would write a translation in this format. The first section covered the ingredients:

1 shower cap

1 Amu Teleportation Tablet or 25.4 ounces of red wine

Overview: Wormholing is one of the most important and difficult undertakings of the Amu. It provides the ultimate transportation and protection, transporting individuals great distances with little expended time or energy.

Cautions: Care must be taken, especially on early attempts. It is recommended that the novice enlist the help of an accomplished Wormholer for the initial journey. The novice should hold on tightly while the accomplished Wormholer takes the pair a short distance. The physical sensations of Wormholing can be overwhelming.

Side effects include: mild nausea, headache, and partial body displacement. Care should also be taken to avoid materializing in a solid object which can be painful or even fatal. Initial solitary trips should be made only to destinations where the environment is well known and does not include hazardous objects such as furniture, computer equipment, or a linear nuclear accelerator. Never Wormhole where an earthling might see you. The novice should also be prepared for a naked arrival. See Advanced Wormholing, pg. 17 for Wormholing objects such as clothing, weaponry, and living beings. Novices must wear plastic safety caps for head protection.*

Directions: See Chip Maintenance Department for initialization of Type 3.7.2πmicrochip implant. Implant must be turned to the "on" position. Place plastic cap securely over head. The blood supply to the brain must be bathed in Tetraheliumclhlorhydrade, from a monthly dose of one Teleportation Tablet. It has been recently discovered that the ingestion of 25.4 ounces of earth red wine acts in a similar manner to the Teleportation Tablet and may be used safely when Tablets are not available.

Body should be in a relaxed state. Brain focused on destination point. Concentration must be maintained throughout the Wormhole process. Deep breathing is often helpful. Do not remove shower cap until safe arrival at destination. Remember, if red wine is used, effects last only two earth hours. After this point, another ingestion of 25.4 ounces of red wine will be required before further Wormholing.

*Starter set of six shower caps included in the back of this manual.

Okay, from the cautions, Andie could see that Wormholing by herself was practically suicide. Only a desperate or crazy person would try. Was she desperate? To save her friend? To save Oliver? Yes.

Andie flipped to the back of the manual and pulled out what appeared to be a cheap shower cap one might find in a motel bathroom. She set the manual down on the toilet seat, opened to the Wormholing page, and placed the crinkling cap on her head. She tucked her hair inside, not sure whether this was correct but figuring the mass of hair could only increase the protection. She blew out the candles to be safe. No sense burning down mom's apartment. Andie assumed her Type 3.7.2π microchip implant was fully activated because except for the short period where Talia intercepted the signal, the Amu monitored her.

Andie sipped the wine and let it bathe her tongue for a moment before she swallowed. Big mistake. It tasted like old coffee and fermented cherry jam. She decided she'd better have a destination in mind before she got too inebriated. It should be close and well known to her. Where did she want to be more than anywhere else right now? Her bed in her old bedroom across the hall. Under the covers. Cozy and fast asleep. Good. That shouldn't be too hard. She took another sip of wine and shuddered. The only way she was going to get it all down was to guzzle the stuff. She abandoned the tiki mug and guzzled straight from the bottle.

After the first few seconds, she could barely taste anymore. She hoped there wouldn't be long-term damage to her taste buds. She set the empty bottle down next to the tub. Her head swam. She must be ready. Andie pictured her bed in her mind's eye. It was tough holding on to a specific thought with all that alcohol. Focus. Focus. Yes. Soft cotton sheets clinging against her naked body. The down pillow caressing her head. Oliver wrapped around her body. Oliver stroking her breasts.

The world shifted. Her body lost all sense of gravity and orientation. A solar wind whipped past her skin, heating her to boiling. She was so hot that eventually, she imagined her skin must have turned to charcoal. As she charred, her existence narrowed and stretched into a black hole. No light. No sound.

Only the sense of moving faster than the laws of physics would allow, the emptiness of the universe sliding against her skin. This must be the Wormhole, Andie thought. If she was capable of thought, it must mean she had not been compressed into a lump of coal. Time lengthened and coiled around her. Her body returned. That had to be a good sign.

She spun as fast as a pulsar and landed face down on a feather pillow. Her sheets were even more luxurious against her wet, naked body than she remembered. Her head continued to spin, even so, she had succeeded! On her first try. She didn't even die.

How exhilarating to know she could travel anywhere on a whim. She could visit the Great Wall of China, go to Brazil and hug Sterling, hide inside a closet at the White House and find out what was really going on there. Or get into the secret room in the basement at work. The options were endless.

The bedroom door opened, and Andie heard the shower running. Wait, she didn't have an en suite bathroom. She turned over too quickly and threw up.

"What in the galaxy?" Oliver asked as he stood, all hunky and wet, shadowed in the lit doorway, wrapped in a blessedly undersized towel.