"I'll admit that I'm afraid."

-Plastic Taste, Joji

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I wince as the nurse prods at my jaw with a wet towel to clear the dried blood from staining my skin. Alec is waiting beside the bed which I'm perched on the end of, arms folded across his broad chest. His eyes are distant, like he's somewhere far away from here.

My bed is a few down from Jasper's, but he was asleep when I arrived and I don't want to wake him to tell him what happened. And he'll worry when he sees the purple bruise spread across my jaw like spilled paint.

Naomi is further down the infirmary, being tended to more closely by many more nurses. I don't want to see her just yet. It'll hurt too much.

The nurse drops the towel onto the nightstand and hands me an ice-pack, all the while shaking her head disapprovingly, before hurrying away to tend to what I assume is Naomi's bed.

Once we're out of earshot of anyone else, Alec sits beside me and stares at his feet. When he doesn't speak, I mumble quietly, "Are you afraid of me?"

Alec looks up and meets my cautious gaze, replying confidently, "No." Pause. "I'm afraid that I can't protect you from these voices."

I put my hand onto his cheek, a lump building in my throat when I say, "Alec, you can't protect me from them. It's all in my head. Literally."

He stands up rather defiantly, and mumbles, "I can try."

A new nurse approaches us and smiles gently, before asking, "Olivia and Alec?"

We nod.

"Your friend, Jasper, is being discharged. Would you mind helping him to his dorm?" she asks kindly.

"Sure," I say, dropping my ice-pack onto the bed behind me. It wasn't helping much anyway.

We head over to Jasper's bed to see he's sitting on the edge with his leg propped up, tying the shoelace of his sneaker. He's not in hospital gowns anymore- he's wearing dark grey jeans and a black shirt.

When he sees me approaching, he smiles. But as I get closer, he frowns, probably noticing the bruise on my jaw. He stands and rushes over to me, cupping my face in his hands as he frantically scans his eyes across my jaw. "I thought I told you not to get hurt."

"It was kind of difficult when I had an entire bull charging at me," I reply dryly, worming my way out of his hands.

He turns his anger to Alec and snaps, "You were supposed to be looking after her. One job: protect Olivia. How did you let this happen?"

Alec has an unreadable expression on his face, like he either doesn't want anyone to know how he feels about this, or doesn't actually know how to feel about it. Either way, his face doesn't give anything away. "No interferences allowed in fights. It's the rules."

"So some stupid rules mean more to you than her?" Jasper snaps.

"It's okay, Jasper," I say, trying to nudge him away from his advance on Alec. He doesn't budge.

"Of course they don't."

"When you love someone, you'd break all the rules if it means they're okay," Jasper says loudly, catching the attention of many people around. My eyes widen as I realise what he just said, but he barely notices.

"You obviously don't understand what it means to stick to a code then, pretty boy. All you've done is sit in this room because of a little kick to the ribs," snaps Alec, narrowing his eyes.

"You broke my ribs, asshole. But since I've recovered, Olivia no longer needs you to follow her around like a little dog," Jasper grunts, putting his hand onto my arm protectively.

"Liv needs me. You won't be able to protect her," Alec mumbles, putting his hand onto my other arm so I'm like a tug-of-war rope.

"Sorry, do I need to throw a stick to get you to leave?" Jasper says harshly.

"Enough!" I yell. They both stare at me, startled by my interruption. "Did either of you stop to consider that maybe I can actually protect myself?"

Neither of them say anything. I shake off their hands and swap looks with both of them. "No. You hadn't. I can protect myself. I've gotten this far. And I can do it for as long as I need to."

"But I just don't want to see you hurt. I care about you too much for that," Jasper says calmly. "I care more than he does."

"You wish," grunts Alec.

"Enough," I snap, harsher this time. "I've had enough of this. You both like me, am I right?"

Speechlessly, they nod.

"Well, believe it or not, I like you both. It's selfish, but I can't change that."

They're both so shocked that no words come out of their hanging jaws. I don't wait to see what they have to say about it. "Alec, go take care of Naomi. I'll be back tomorrow. Jasper, I'm taking you to your room. Is that okay?"

They're about to reply when I say, "Wait, I made that seem like an option." I turn to Jasper. "Let's go."

I put his arm around my shoulder in case he needs help walking, and then begin to help him hobble out of the infirmary, leaving Alec staring, bewildered, behind us. I don't turn around. It would hurt to see his reaction. But I don't want to lie to them anymore.

"I figured," Jasper says quietly as we turn right out of the infirmary corridor and into the boy's wing.

"Huh?"

"I figured you liked Alec too."

"Are you mad?"

He hesitates. "That's the thing. I'm not mad. I'm not even sad about it."

I chuckle humourlessly. "And why is that?"

"Because I can show you just how much I care about you, and then you'll pick me," he says confidently.

"Lots of confidence there."

"I have faith."

I smile and nod, making it to his room and helping him through the door. His room is dark, and so I flick the light on, illuminating the modest space.

Helping him to his bed, I say quietly, "You said something in the infirmary, and I can't stop thinking about it. I'm not sure you meant to say it."

"What was it?" I ease him onto the bed, where he pulls off his jeans and chucks them onto the desk chair. He keeps his underwear and his t-shirt on, and slips under the covers.

I sit on the edge beside him, and softly run my fingers through his hair as he stares up at me with those captivating blue eyes. "You said you loved me."

He looks down, mouth twisting into an embarrassed smile. "Confessing my love for you to Alec wasn't exactly how I was planning to say it," he admits.

I laugh lightly.

"It wasn't an accident though. I do love you. And I get that you can love two people at the same time, so I get why you like Alec as well."

I smile down at my lap.

"I'll wait for you to make your choice. And I'll wait as long as you need me to," he says, exhaustion filling his voice.

I nod. "We can talk tomorrow. For now, go to sleep, Jasper."

This boy. He can hook me in with just his words and a flash of that smile.

Choosing is going to be a lot harder than I'd thought.