[13.6.2022]

'i can't believe how hopeless you are, i'm taking you out next week'.

he drives half an hour from home to pick me up and says hi to my mother. he's never complained about the long journey, and he holds my hand right when i get in his car.

he jokes about leaving me on the side of the street whenever we argue about pineapples on pizza but i still get full control of the songs playing in his car. he screams to taylor swift's songs with me while speeding down that empty dark road headed to nowhere.

he knows about you and i know he thinks you're still a kid. i know he thinks i'm hopeless for being head over heels for you, but nothing he says is stopping me from still feeling this way.

he lets me play with his hair while he drives and takes me to the butterfly park even when he knows i'm not a big fan of bugs. 'in the name of being adventurous and having fun' he says. it actually feels nice to have someone pull me out of my comfort zone.

he feeds me burgers with truffles and makes (forces?) me to try seafood. not that i mind, i even surprised myself with how good seafood actually is. but he still doesn't forget to order dessert for me at the end of each meal because he knows i've got a sweet tooth.

he says you're wasting your golden years and you don't know what you're missing. he says i'm too 'adorably irritating' for you to be unsure of me. it's surprising how close we've gotten in a span of two months.

when i let my head rest on his shoulder, he kisses my nose. he holds my face gently but then grips my waist with full force when he kisses the spot under my right ear. i don't know how he does it but i think i can tell by his body count.

he tells me you'll regret making this decision in a couple months and you'll be coming back. his fingers runs through my hair and while he leaves traces of me wherever we are, with a heart full of guilt i hope that he's right.