Eventually, she opens the door, but immediately after seeing each other, my heart hastens the rhythm of it, and I discern the worry readable all over her face.

"Jungkook..." her quivering voice aches me, but I cannot even take her in my arms. I do not even know who needs comfort right now. "Are you mad at me? I swear, and I promise that I thought you knew. Kimoon is your best friend, so I thought he told you about me at least once. Otherwise, I would have let you know and not keep it to myself. I would never have done that, Jungkook."

I do not say anything but enter her room since we could get caught, and she closes the door.

There are many things that I want to say, but I do not know where, or how to start.

She does not speak anymore as if she wanted me to let out a word, but I cannot even make eye contact with her, the sound of her sobs that she is attempting to quieten as much as possible is causing me so much pain.

"Y/n..." I bite my lips and peek at her glossy eyes. "Tell me the truth only...please."

"I am," she holds her hands together, near her chest, seeming deeply affected by this, more than I even imagined her to be. "I'm telling all the truth, Jungkook. I didn't know that he hid it, I never talked about him because I don't like to talk about an ex when I'm with a boy that I like or that we're in a relationship, and I also thought you wanted to avoid this by not mentioning it."

"When did you both break up?" I ask what I know will hurt me the most. "And for how long did you both date?"

"I broke up with him more than one year ago, it was in June twenty-twenty after dating for almost two years," she answers with worse than I expected, getting me to realize that it was just not a short relationship.

I look down and nibble on my inner cheek, the beating of my heart going so strongly under my ribs that I can feel the physical pain it provokes to my chest. I almost forgot this feeling, this one that makes you want to cry your eyes out and wake up to realize that was just a nightmare.

"If you're scared about my feelings...I can promise you that I do not feel anything for him anymore. I broke up with him for a reason, and I moved on, I'll never love him again no matter what he tells me or does, the only one I love sincerely is you, Jungkook, so I don't want you to fear anything because of that past," she explains, reading through my eyes. The fact that she knows about my fears and does her best to reassure me means a lot, but I do not know.

"Why did you break up...?" I question her about something personal. I just cannot help it. I need to know. I need to find some reassurance where I can get it. I need it so much. "I...I broke up with him because he did something wrong. He was drunk, and...he..." her body language exudes some hidden uneasiness. "He made a mistake. So, I forgave him because I didn't want to stay with this anger towards him, but after that nude he sent me, after getting to know that he didn't tell you anything about us, I can't...I hate him."

"Did he hurt you?" I demand more details, feeling slightly concerned about this answer, and the vagueness of it. She tightens her hold on her hands and glances down at my right. She obviously seems to not want to talk about it, but if he indeed hurt her, physically, or mentally by doing something bad, she must let me know.

"It was...a mistake," she shakes her head but lifts one hand up to her face to wipe her tears away. She is defending him, giving him an excuse. This is not good. "It was his birthday, he got drunk, and he was just...very forceful on that night. I told him I didn't want to because he was very drunk, but he kept on asking for it, insisting, and going further without being conscious. It was...scary because I never saw him act that way, and it felt like I didn't know him as well as I thought, and I was so disappointed in him...it never happened before that. Then...since he wouldn't listen and that he was using his strength to get what he wanted, I slapped him...I was crying because of the shock, the panic...and he stopped but got mad like never he did in the past, and he started to bring up my relationship with my best friend, accusing me of cheating on him, telling me I was lying to him and all this type of stuff when he knew I'd never do that to him...but he was so harsh in his way of talking to me..." she snivels but cannot continue, my head feeling empty from all those words I can barely process. "I never felt that way in my life, he never did that before, he was always so caring and loving, but he terrified me on that night, and I couldn't face him again afterwards..."

I am speechless. I do not even have the words to describe the emotions this caused me. I would never have expected once, in my whole life, to hear such horrible things about a person that I trusted and considered as a good and reliable one. He was the perfect boyfriend to me, the type of man every girl would want. This is disgusting.

"I'm so sorry, y/n..." I apologize, feeling guilty for making her go through those emotions again. "Don't be," she refuses to let me say so. "I moved on. I grew up, I learned to not let any bad experience ruin my point of view on what I consider as one of the most beautiful things in a couple, or on men, so don't be worried about this. I don't want to think about it anymore."

Not liking the way I am behaving when she is crying her heart out in front of me, I step forward and wrap my arms around her body to take her in an embrace and hold her tight. She returns it in a heart-warming manner and buries her face in my chest. "I love you so much, Jungkook...I don't want this to drift us apart...I don't care about him anymore. I'll never love him again either...and I never intended to hide it from you."

I close my eyes and rest my head on hers, her heart racing hard against my torso. "I love you too."

I feel so much wrath towards him that the only thing I want to do right now is beat the shit out of him. I cannot believe I hung out, trusted, and gave my trust to such a monster. I will never let him approach y/n or Hojun again.

"I was scared..." she mumbles under her sobs, so I rub her back to make sure she understands everything is okay. "I thought you'd be mad or believe that I lied to you, or something like that..."

"I'm not mad at you," I press a kiss on her ear. "I trust you. From now on, I just want us to tell everything that could cause a misunderstanding to each other. If it makes us feel worried or uncomfortable, okay?"

"I will, I promise," her hands rub my back, and she offers me the greatest, the most soothing feelings ever. I do believe her, and I want to trust her because after the type of conversation we had, I know she would not try to do the opposite of what she promises to me.

Every little thing that she does has an impact on me, whether this is good or bad, this is like a bond, and I do not want to get rid of it. I want to feel what she feels, share our feelings and thoughts together, be there for one another. This is the most precious connection someone can have with another one.

Holding her in my arms, having her body against mine, puts my mind at ease. This type of moment, this type of sensation in my body is the one that tells me and shows me how much I am in love with her.

"I'm sorry for not responding to you earlier, I just got upset because of him, and I left my room. I didn't mean to ignore you," I do not forget to mention it since this is the main reason why she got so worried, and I heave one hand up to her nape to caress it. "And I'm happy you talked about this conversation right away...It means a lot to me, and it reassures me."

"I always want to make sure to talk about everything with you, I told you, I'll always talk it out with you, and I'll never intentionally keep anything to myself," she finally breathes easily, in a slow and steady manner, and her words put a smile on my face.

I was about to go insane only a few minutes earlier, and here I am, feeling safe, good, and free of the burden this issue engendered. The only negative thought and feeling left inside of me is the one that was created after hearing about her and what Kimoon did to her, I cannot get this out of my head.

"Hojun doesn't think I'm a bad person, right? He's not mad at me?" she worries about the one she is now close to, and who seems to be very important to her as well. I run my fingers through her hair and kiss her forehead. "He's not mad at all. He wanted me to come here and talk to you because he was worried. But...something happened earlier when I got mad, I accidentally hit him in the nose when I was fighting with Kimoon since I couldn't stay in my bed and say nothing, but he came from out of nowhere behind me, so I couldn't hear him, and his nose was bleeding, so I gotta check on him."

"Really? You didn't fight, like, punch or something like that, did you?" she gazes up at me, her puffy eyes meeting mine after what felt like long seconds. I brush the sides of her face where her tears ran down a moment ago, and I shake my head. "I didn't, don't worry," I tell her the truth, knowing deep inside that if Hojun did not come, this would have ended badly.

None of us saying anything more but staring into each other's eyes, I cup her face with my hands, loving how calm she makes me, I skim her cheeks with my thumbs and lean in to join our lips.

"You should check on Hojun and make sure he's okay," she says in a whisper but makes me realize how dumb I was. "Wait...I told him to call me if he's not okay, but I forgot my phone on my bed."

We both look into each other's eyes and speak with them, making me feel even more stupid.

"I'll come back tonight, alright? I'll sleep here," I press one last kiss on her lips, and she nods to me but smiles, indirectly agreeing with this. "Don't be worried anymore, okay?" I slide my hands down to hers, and she answers like I wanted her to.

"I love you," I caress the back of her hands with my thumbs, my heart beating faster, her soft and contagious smile full of solace and happiness brings one to mine, and I head to the door.

"Wait," she holds me back, gripping my hand. I do not go any further but gaze at her. "What's wrong?"

"I want to make something clear in case you might be worried about that, but...I'm not scared to be intimate with you because of this. Okay? This is in the past, and I'm not scared to be intimate with a man because of this, I was scared of him at that moment because he was being angry at me, but it didn't make me fear intimacy with someone, so don't be scared of anything, you won't ever make me feel uncomfortable or scared if you respect what I feel and want," she mentions what I had on my head after hearing those words. "I'm glad you're talking about this, I was worried, but I'll always respect your decisions, your feelings, and what you want or don't want with me. So even though this is easier said than done, I want you to know you'll never have to be scared with me. I'm not the type of guy to get drunk when I'm with my girlfriend anyway."

She smiles at me in one of the most relieving manners, and I send one back. "I trust you," she stares into my eyes, those words are so important and meaningful to me.

"I trust you too," I stroke her hand once more, and she lets go of it. "You can leave."

I gaze into her eyes before doing so, and after a few seconds, we comfort each other with a look, and I get out.

Not only do I have to make sure Hojun is okay, but I need my phone to come back here, as well as the clothes I will wear tomorrow and my stuff for my morning routine. I do not want to sleep alone in my bed tonight, I want her close to me, I want to cuddle her, this will alleviate all the stress and pain I felt, and I want to make sure she is not worried anymore.

•••

I knock on y/n's for the second time today, holding my stuff in a bag, she opens, and we both smile at each other before I step inside.

"Is he doing okay?" she asks the first question that comes to her mind, and I put my bag down. "Yeah. He compared himself to an anime girl like a dumbass, so he's okay enough to make jokes," I chuckle and take my shoes off. "I'm relieved," she sits down on her bed, no books or work left on it, I get my jacket on her desk chair and join her, but she already gets onto my lap and hugs me. "You're cold," she speaks in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. I do not even hesitate to lie down with her on top of me, and I close my eyes to enjoy this moment.

This is the first night I am going to spend time with her, cuddle with her, and sleep with her, so I want to make it special and pamper her a lot.

We do not say anything but touch each other, softly, smelling each other's fragrance, unique scent, warming each other's body, and merely embracing every minute spent into each other's arms with no need to get more.

The goosebumps covering my skin each time she breathes out against my neck, I glide the tip of my hands down her sides, over her oversized t-shirt to feel her curves and follow them, and once I get to the bottom of it, I go back up but intentionally bring a part of her fabric up. Without even asking for it, I earn a kiss on my sensitive neck, and the corners of my lips turn up in an instant. Getting the hints that she likes this too, I move my hands back lower, my body heating up between hers and the blanket under me, I press my lips on her ear and simultaneously slide my hands inside her clothing to have my skin in contact with hers, and I give her a gentle massage while she is stroking my jawline.

I am feeling so calm, but at the same time, my heart is beating fast. This is so delicate and relaxing, I love it so much. There is nothing better than cuddling with the one you love and not needing anything but each other's presence.

She makes me feel so good.