— Next day —

I go out of the building after taking way more time to wake up than usual, and I put my hood on. I answer y/n's text after not talking for two days because of this weekend but smile at the sight of her morning message that makes me feel in a better mood, and I join my best friends.

"Finally. What took you so long, bro?" Hojun hits my arm, and I whine. "No talking today, please..." I bend my head back and slide my hands in the front pocket of my black hoodie, dying in the cold.

"Oh, okay," he moves away but steps behind me, and he passes his arms under mine to embrace my waist. "Back hug to make your morning better," the cheesy boy he is tightens his clasp around my body, and I chuckle but do not push him away. I just want to keep my hands in the warmth and not risk cooling my body down even more.

"What if y/n comes across you both?" Kimoon's thoughts only focus on what type of image we reflect like that. "It's fine. She knows," the one behind me answers for us, but I frown. "What do you mean 'she knows'? Did you tell her something?"

"Yeah, I just like to joke with her, and she told me she doesn't even mind when I do this, so she's not jealous," the pride echoes through his mouth, and I turn my head to glare at him. "How often do you talk to her without me knowing?"

"Just sometimes on Instagram," he tells me the truth, but for some reason, I do not feel as jealous as I would if it was another guy. I know he is straight, maybe bi, I am not even sure, but I know he would not try anything with her. He is way too thirsty for me to even be interested in her.

"Stop looking at me like that, you know what I want," he presses my body even more against his, and I uncontrollably grin but set my eyes on my phone.

[ some coffee:') and you? >

[ we have the same amazing life, I see. I feel like you're copying me👀 >

[ I never say that... >

[ anyway:) how was your weekend? Did you enjoy your time with your family? >

[ I'm happy you ate well then😙 >

[ 🥰 >

I bite my lips to conceal the broad smile she just put on my face, and I lock my phone to shove my hands back in my pocket, but I look around us to check if y/n has left her room or not.

I do not know if it is just me or not, but I barely see her during each break lately, and I hate it but, at the same time, it worries me because it is odd of her to stay in her room as much as she can. Unless this is because of the terrible weather and that she would rather stay in the warmth until the last minute.

I miss the eye contact between us though.

"Guys, look at this," Kimoon turns his phone towards us to show the screen. "I bought these yesterday, I can't wait to receive them."

"They're so sick!" Hojun, the boy who could spend all his money on shoes, uses two fingers to zoom on the picture. "I want them. How much did you pay?"

"One-hundred and fifty bucks, but I saved a lot for them because I've been waiting for so long to be able to buy this one pair," he takes his belonging back near him to scroll. I wish I could understand and share this enthusiasm about shoes.

I love food way more.

•••

I sit down on my chair and get joined by Hojun, who is on my left, and y/n, who is on my right.

I know it has been three days only, but I missed her scent and voice. As well as her body, and her face, her lips in particular.

I sigh to let my tiredness out and get her attention, but she turns her head towards me to check up on me like I hoped her to do.

She stares without saying anything but opens her laptop, and I smile but glance away, not even knowing why I am so weak today.

"What's wrong?" she asks me, in a low and soothing voice. "Nothing..." I lie to avoid the truth I do not want to expose to her, and I steal her pen to play with it.

"I can't write if you take that away from me," she does not insist on trying to know more. "You can take mine, yours is prettier," I give her my black one to keep her light brown with teddy bears on it. "I know. I wanted to buy a few of these in different colors with other cute designs but couldn't order more," she tells me with some obvious disappointment, and I smile at how cute she is.

"Give him a kiss to get it back," Hojun sticks his nose in our conversation, leaning forth and inching closer to me to have the side of his body against mine. For once, he says something smart that might do something good.

I let out a quiet laugh and check y/n's facial expression, but she smiles. "Kiss him instead. I know you want to do it."

My lips part at the sound this reply did in my head, and no time to even react, Hojun is already there to speak. "Really? You'd let me kiss him?"

"Yes, why wouldn't I?" she shrugs, not minding it when the only thing I feel is the trauma this type of situation caused to me because of my last relationship. "Because I'm sure that'd make you jealous to see me kiss him," he gives the explanation while I am remaining silent and staring at y/n to see if she is letting some hints of falsehood appear, but the only emotion she expresses is amusement and soothe. "I'm not jealous if it's you. You could French kiss right in front of me I wouldn't care."

"Oh—" he points his finger at her and laughs in my ear, but I smile, understanding what he got too. "That means you'd be jealous if—"

"No! That's not— Keep quiet..." she panics, being obvious and cute in front of me, not making eye contact with me as if she was suddenly shy. "Aw. You can say it, that's fine. We know you're both crushing on each—"

"Shut up and leave us alone," I push him away to not allow him to finish his sentence once more. "Oh, you didn't tell me that when I told her to kiss you."

"Just work," I kick his legs, grinning against my will.

•••

"Hey, wait," I hurry up to catch up with y/n's steps and give a squeeze to her waist, making her stop and look at me. "Are you eating with us for lunch?" I do not hold back from asking for her, hoping to see her more. "I don't know, why?"

"Because..." I do not let her know that I just want to be with her, but she smiles at me. "Then if it's just 'because', I'll stay in my—"

"No," I cut her off, hating how she can get what she wants from me. "This is because I wanna spend time with you. Okay? I'm just worried, like, why the hell do you stay alone in your room lately?"

"I'm a pig that eats too much and hangs out with the disgusting gays. That's what I was told, so I'd rather be alone and not—"

"Who the fuck said that to you?" I do not even let her finish, not wanting to hear more of those words. "Aera and Gayoon."

"Oh, now I'm a disgusting gay to her," I chuckle out of wrath but check around us. I am going to kill them both. These two bitches are seriously pissing me off. "At least when you're alone you can eat the way you want, so that's not that bad."

"You can do that when you're with us too, no need to be a fake bitch like they are. Bro," I bite my lips and try to find them, doing my best to keep calm. "Don't even think about saying anything to them. They're dumb, you'll waste your time."

"My hand in their fucking face won't be a waste of time," I do not agree with her, but she laughs. "Stop," she steps in front of me. "Go to your next class and don't think about it, people like her ask for attention. Don't give it to her, give it to me instead," she walks away after saying those words my brain cannot forget, and I instantly land my eyes on her as she is leaving.

No way she just said that to me.

When I did not even expect anything more from her, I watch her turn around to peek at me, but as soon as her lips softly curve up into a smile, she glances away and enters the classroom.

She is making me fall even harder.

•••

[ I'm waiting for you c: >

[ I'm gonna give you all the attention a human can give to another one >

[ it's cringe but idc >

[ 😙 >

"She's not coming?" Hojun asks me, curious about it. "I think she is," I eat another almond, freezing with him while waiting for Kimoon to leave the classroom.

[ you're coming, right? >

[ Yes you do. Let's eat together, you need food and energy :( >

[ then let's eat somewhere else, where do you want to go? In my room? In yours? Or outside >

"I'm so cold, man..." the trembling body next to mine seeks warmth by touching it, but the lack of jacket or coat on him explains why he feels like that. "You're just wearing a damn shirt. Are you kidding me?"

"I spilled chocolate milk on my jacket this morning, what do you want me to do? I'm too broke to have two jackets," he tells me with fluster and pain, but I complain. "You're a damn dumbass," I sigh, sharply but take my oversized zip-up hoodie off and throw it on him. "Put this on."

"You're gonna be cold!" he does not understand I cannot stand to see him like that. "Shut up and put it on," I answer in a rude manner to not let my weak side take over me, and he wears my warm clothing that looks even bigger on him. "Thanks," he closes it and puts the hood on, grinning and feeling better. "I'm gonna flex in front of—"

"Don't you dare," I hit his abs, but he coughs and chuckle. "She's gonna see it anyway. If she truly loves you, she'll notice it. She's gonna ask me 'why do you smell like my man?', and as obvious as it is," he lays his hand, that is hidden under the sleeve, over his chest. "I'm gonna tell her 'Because he's my daddy, and he loves me so much that he doesn't like to see me—"

"Shut up," I smile against my will, hating how true some parts of this sentence are, and he sneers but wraps his arms around me. "It's fun to do it because I can see that she's not against it like your ex was."

"Let's not talk about this," I dislike this new person he just mentioned, and who I loathe. "I'm just saying...I'm lucky you're not like Minhyuk."

"I know you since we're fourteen, do you think I'm gonna drift apart from you for a stupid girl?" I state what will remain as facts, but the smile that it brought to this face touches me a lot. I know how much this means to him. "That's why I like y/n. She just plays along and doesn't get jealous."

"Yeah, but anyway," I brush this topic off, and he pulls his arms away from me once Kimoon finally gets out of the room. "Sorry for taking so long, guys. I had a problem with the teacher's explanation," he rolls his eyes and joins us. "It's fine. I'm still waiting for y/n's answer anyway," I peek down at my phone to see if she sent me a message but see nothing other than Instagram dm's on my screen. "Why, isn't she coming?"

"I think she is, but I don't know," I shrug, but since I do not want to bother them with this, I find a solution. "Let's just get in the cafeteria. I'll leave if she wants to go out."

"Okay," he nods and heads to the cafeteria, so I follow him but notice, in less than a second, that Hojun is not coming with us. I take a look at him, wondering what he is doing but notice that he is focused on his phone. "What are you doing?" I stand on my spot.

He does not even raise his eyes up but keeps them on what seems to be something serious, so I move back towards him and check what is wrong.

I peek at his phone, knowing he does not mind it, and I read the texts he received from his father.

I cannot believe it.

My brain still not processing what I read, I set my eyes on Hojun, already feeling the pain in my chest, he does not even do or say anything. He puts his phone back in his pocket and sighs.

I knew his dad was an asshole, I have been aware of this for five years, but I always hate it when he talks to him like that. He does not deserve this.

"I love life," he fakes a smile. "Let's go eat something," he walks forth to avoid what just happened, and since I do not even have words, I do not speak or try to say anything about it, I stay with him and follow them both to the cafeteria.

I will talk about this at a better moment.

[ are you coming or not?:( I'm not forcing you, but I just want to know what you're doing >

[ Hojun and Kimoon as always, why? Do you want us to be alone? >

[ yes, but we can go somewhere else if you want >

[ I'm happy c: >

I leave my phone now that I feel better but look at Hojun, still thinking about those texts he got from the one who should be there to support and love him, but who has not done anything but the opposite since he was born.

I rest one arm on the back of his chair and pull on my zip-up hoodie that he is still wearing, but he does not react to it, he just eats. I know for sure that he is not okay and that this must have hurt him a lot, and that is what I cannot stand. If he did not care about it, it would not matter that much to me, and I would even provoke his dad even more, but the fact that I know how painful it is for him to read those texts and know what his parents think of him is the worst, especially since I know that he keeps it to himself most of the time.

Not knowing what to do, I lean towards him and brush his hair back. "Are you okay?"

"I am," he lies to me while chewing on his food, so I click my tongue and reject this answer. "Tell me the truth."

"What's wrong?" Kimoon asks to be aware of the matter. "The asshole that he has as a dad..." I do not glance away from Hojun, and he finally gives me a look but pretends to be taking this lightly. "Stop worrying. I don't care. I'm used to it," he raises his eyebrows. "I know more than anyone that you do care."

"Whatever, I don't want to talk about it," he asks me to not bother him with this, so I do not insist, which might make it worse than it already is. I press a kiss on his ear and keep my lips close to his skin, hoping to be able to make him react and smile. "Daddy loves you, focus on that only. Alright? You don't need that motherfucker who's never done anything right in his life," I whisper in his ear, hearing myself and facing the sad reality that hits me hard enough to remind me of how bad I am at comforting the ones I love and care about. "I mean he did because he gave birth to the cute guy you are, but you know what I mean..." I rub his back, and once I see a small hint of delight brighten his features, I move back to leave him alone.

I hate it when he does not annoy or tease me because that means he is not feeling alright at all, and to me, this is worse than when I am in a bad mood.

"Hey," the sweet girl I missed a lot brightens up the whole room with a simple word, and my chin raises up.