The next day Collin came over to apologize. The sound of his keys jingling in the lock reminded me that I needed to take them back...and change the locks. There was no way I was letting Looney Toons continue to have open access to my place. I mean, I know dude was paying my bills and all, but that's not because I couldn't pay them myself. He just liked doing things for me, and I liked letting him.

Well, I did.

I pulled the covers back over my head and put that piece of crap ring, which was starting to look more and more like an overpriced handcuff to me, right on top of the pillow next to me so that he could have quick access to it and then get the hell out. Thinking back now, I should have kept it and pawned it for my troubles.

When he walked into the bedroom, I smelled the roses before I saw them. The smell was so overwhelming, I'm surprised the baby didn't make a mad dash for the bathroom.

Collin put the roses down on the dresser and slinked his way over to the bed like a dog that had just been kicked. I didn't even have to look over at him to know that's what he was doing, because that's what he always did when he thought I was about to leave his sorry ass.

"I'm so sorry baby." He tried to get me to turn over, but I wouldn't. Then he put this little cheap, fugly stuffed dog on the bed where I could see it and bent down to kiss the back of my neck, which is the only part of me that he could get to. He ran his fingers softly over my left hand, which was clutching the covers up over my face. I knew I had to be looking butt-ugly like that stuffed dog by then, since I had a whole night to sleep on my already jacked up mug. My mouth and the left side of my face were still swelling when I had finally given up on trying to ice them down the night before. "Where's your ring?" he asked softly, kissing my neck again.

"I'm leaving you, Collin." I snapped from under the satin sheet. "We're not kids anymore. I'm too old for this shit."

I felt him stiffen. "What?" He grabbed me roughly by the arm and yanked me around. At the sight of my face, which closely resembled any opponent after a heavyweight match, he shrank back in horror. "Oh, God..."

"Oh," I sat up so he could get a better look, "so now you think there's a God, huh?" I shook my head disgustedly. "Asshole."

"Natasha, look..."

"No. You look." I got right in front of him so he wouldn't have any choice but to look at what he had done to me. "That's right. Get a good look at me, Collin because you messed my face up like this. You got me pregnant and made me fat, you're the one who ruined my whole life, and up until right this second, you didn't even give half a rat's ass about any of that. The only reason you probably care about me now is because you're afraid that if I call the police they'll lock you up for a really long time." I wiped away an angry tear. Collin wiped away the other one. "Don't touch me."

He held up his hands in surrender. "Ok, ok," he whispered. "I'm sorry. I won't touch you."

"I can't believe you hit me, Collin."

"I know." He looked down at his own hands like he couldn't even believe it himself.

"And you tried to rape me while I was pregnant with your child."

Oddly enough, he looked just as revolted as I felt when he flashed his guiltily eyes my way. "I didn't know you were pregnant."

I couldn't believe my ears. "What? You...Collin..." I shook my head. The worst part about it was that he didn't even realize what he had just said.

"I would never have hurt you like that, Tash." He grabbed my hand but was having trouble looking at me directly.

"Look me in my butt-ugly face and say that again, Collin. Tell me how you would never hurt me."

"You're not ugly," he whispered, giving me steady eye contact for the first time that day. "I...I never thought you were ugly. I just say that sometimes." He let my hand go. "I think you're beautiful. You know that."

"Whatever, Collin. I don't really care what you think. And, like I said, I don't have to put up with this crap anymore."

"You're right, you don't." He looked away and actually shed a tear. Can you believe that? Like I was going to just cave after this! He would have had to do a hell of a lot more than that to win me back. He blinked quickly, embarrassed, then knelt down in front of me and rested his hand on my thigh. "I never should have put my hands on you like that. I'm so sorry, baby. Please don't leave me. Please," he kissed my hand, which was lying limply in my lap. Then he kissed my thigh in the place where his own hand had been resting. "I'm so sorry. Please...don't leave me. Please." He sank further down on his knees. "I didn't know that I hit you that hard. I'll never do that again. I promise."

I wouldn't look at him. I didn't want him to know that I was starting to believe this load of crap, just like I always had.

"Natasha...we have a baby to think about now." I groaned inwardly. This was exactly why I had taken so long to tell him. Now he was going to start pulling that card on me all the time. "I...I have a baby to think about. I have you to think about, too. I should have never, never treated you like that. I just can't believe I did that," he blinked again as he lightly touched my lip, three times its normal size. "I'll change. I promise. I never meant to hurt you. I love you so much." He tried to hug me, but I pushed him away. "I promise." Begging was not a trait that I had ever appreciated or respected in a man. "I can change. You don't believe me right now, and I don't blame you, but I'll show you that I can do it. I promise. I'll show you."

The more he spoke, the sorrier I started to feel for him. It was like we were back at that freaking creek when he broke his arm all over again and I just knew if I took one look into his soul-bearing eyes, it would be all over. I mean, Collin Stewart had never begged for anything a day in his life. He always just...took what he wanted, and fuck the rest. I doubted very seriously that if it ever came down to it that we he would even beg for his life, and there he was on his knees and crying just because he thought that I was about to leave him. I never would have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own two jacked up eyes.

"I should be protecting you, not causing you extra stress. I know that. I know that. It's just so hard because...that's not what I saw growing up. You know that, Tash. You were right there with me. I never could have gotten through that without you, just like I couldn't survive without you now. I need you, baby, and I know you need me too. I know you do. I'll take care of you. I'll keep you safe from now on. I promise I'll never, ever hurt you like that again. You know I wouldn't. I never hit you before, right?" I shook my head no. "And that other thing..." he looked away again. "I would never do that to you. I was never going to. I just wanted to make you stop accusing me of something that we both know I didn't do. I know it was wrong to threaten you like that," he added hastily, "and I'm sorry." He rubbed my belly and kissed it softly. "I'm so sorry, baby. So sorry. Please forgive me."

He pulled me to him, and when I didn't pull away, he got up and sat down on the bed next to me. Sympathetically kissing my bruises and my swollen cheek, he pulled me closer to him, cautious at first, knowing full well that I still could and still should push him away. When he got to my mouth, even the softest kiss felt like he was punching me all over again.

"Ouch!" I jerked away.

"I'm sorry." He pulled me back to him and kissed me again. This kiss was even softer, but it still hurt. I think he knew it would still hurt before he even did it. He reached behind me and picked the discarded ring up off of my red satin pillow and slipped it back onto my finger. "I promise, I'll never hurt you like that again." He kissed my trembling hand. I knew I was making a mistake letting him put that ring back on my finger. I just couldn't help it. "I'll do anything to keep you. I've loved you since I was a kid. I never, ever wanted to hurt you. I just, I just..." He took a deep breath and spoke a thousand thoughts into my burning eyes. "I think...I think I have a problem. I need help, baby. Will...will you help me? I don't want to be the man that treats his wife like this. It's just that sometimes I get so angry, I can't stop myself. But I'm working on that, and some other issues I have with my...um," he was so embarrassed to tell me that I couldn't help but feel grateful that I was the one who he wanted to share it with. "Um...I got some issues with my childhood and parents and stuff that I'm trying to work out, too, so I'm going...to a shrink."

"A shrink?" Interesting. I had no reaction to that. Black folks didn't go to shrinks.

"Yeah," he held onto my hand a little tighter. "Will you come with me? I want to be a better man for you and my son."

"Son?"

"Yeah." He dropped the sad puppy-dog eyes, which were actually starting to irritate me, and smiled a little. "I know he's going to be a boy." He rubbed my stomach and kissed it again, like he was trying his hardest to show love to a baby that I figured didn't even have a heart yet. "I need to be a good role model for him..." Collin transfixed me with his eyes - a trick that he hadn't pulled on me in a while, but I have to admit, he still had it, "...not like my father."

As I sat staring at the man who I had always had every faith in, and had never had just cause to have faith in, I saw the same scared high school kid that I saw the day he first told me about is father. I saw Collin for the man that I always thought he could be - a man who would never in life grow up to be like his father - and decided that going to therapy with him was probably the best thing for me to do. I didn't think that he would be able to get through this new battle without me. He needed me, just like he always did, and I was suddenly excited that we were about to embark on the adventure of creating the perfect Collin. The perfect Collin, and we would live the rest of our perfect lives together.

Him, me...and our son.