I felt so bad about not being there for Kenney when his family came to town. I knew there was something there, something that he never liked to talk about, that had slowly formed a wedge between him and the mother and sisters he adored. What I had gotten from Aunt Jasmine's side comments was that the wedge was probably created by something small that Kenney had blown way out of proportion. However, I had never been one to ask too many questions, and I gathered that Kenney had never been one to volunteer too much information. It all worked out for the best, though, because Kenney told me later that week that the meeting was awkward and it was probably better that I hadn't been there to see it. Still, I know I should have been there, at the very least to give my Bud some moral support.

Collin was such an ass. He was always so jealous. I could never figure out what his problem was. I had never given him any reason not to trust me, which was more than I could say for him, but for some reason he started flipping every time he even suspected that I was getting closer to anyone else than I already was to him. I told Kenney this one day as we were walking towards Kinko's to get one of his photos blown up to poster size, but he just shrugged and looked away. I immediately picked up on the fact that he was in one of his moods and decided to change the subject.

"So..." I walked into the store as he held the door open. "How's wifey?" I flashed a teasing grin his way, but he didn't return it.

Instead, he headed over to the counter, told the clerk what he wanted, and after paying his money and looking at his ticket to see when he would need to pick the poster up, motioned for me to follow him back out the door. I did so silently and kept my mouth shut until we ended up at Buckroe Beach, which was a small beach down the street from Hampton University. The story goes that Buckroe used to be the "Colored Beach" before desegregation.

As we got out of the car and headed toward the water, I reached out and grabbed Kenney's hand. He kind of jumped and looked over at me, having become accustomed to me trying my very hardest not to appear that I was standing too close to him...you know, just in case word got back to Collin...but he didn't pull away. Instead, Kenney held onto my hand tightly and we walked in silence until he was ready to talk.

"You women are killing me slowly."

I looked over at him in surprise. His voice was so low that I could barely hear it above the roar of the tide, which was rising and falling forcefully against the pull of the ascending full moon. It was nearing the time change and the sun had begun to go down super early in the day.

"What?" I stopped and looked up at him. His face bore the same pleasant expression that it always had, but his eyes seemed like tortured mirrors reflecting the pain of so many years that I had never been a part of. "Kenney?" I stepped closer to him. "What happened?"

He shook his head and began walking again. "Oh...nothing new, really. Moms trippin' as usual...and my sisters are..." he looked over at me sheepishly, "growing up so fast. You know, without me."

I smiled over at him. I couldn't help it. He sounded like a father. Then I squeezed his hand and hugged him. "I wish I knew how you felt Kenney," I replied honestly, "but I really don't. I'm an only child." Then I added, "Sounds like it sucks, though," and frowned sympathetically. He smiled easily in return.

"Yeah, it really does. It's like...they're a family without me." Suddenly I understood exactly how he felt. He moved on to the next topic, though, before I could tell him so. "Deidra and I broke up."

"Really?" I was surprised he hadn't told me sooner. "When?"

"A while ago."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I walked over to a large mound of sand and sat down, pulling him with me.

He sat next to me and let go of my hand. Digging his fingers into the cool grains and letting a few blow slowly out into the wind, he avoided my eyes. "You were...caught up."

It was my turn to look away. "I'm sorry, Kenney. Guess I'm a pretty sucky friend, huh?"

He finally looked over at me and nodded in agreement. "Yup."

"Want me to beat her up?" I smiled, but in a way I was very serious. Deidra was cool and all, but that heffa wasn't my friend. Besides, I would have done anything for Kenney. Anything. I wondered if he knew that.

"Naw," he answered nonchalantly and started piecing together a raggedy sand castle.

I followed his lead and tried to help at least make the castle stop leaning to the right. After a while, we both reached for the same pile of sand and his hand brushed against mine. Even though my fingers didn't budge an inch, he quickly picked up a stick and started drawing designs into the roof of our lopsided castle.

"Kenney..." his gaze was so intense when he looked my way that my thoughts escaped me before they could even be formed into words.

"What?" he asked when I continued to stare at him in silence.

"Nothing. I..." I looked away. "I just love you, that's all."

He smiled faintly and started scraping at the castle again. "I love you, too." When I still didn't look away from him, he looked back over at me and for a split second, we both got lost in the gaze. He came back into focus first and quickly looked away.

Then sighing deeply, he shook his head and stood up. "We better go."

"Yeah..." I stood up, too, and followed him back to the car. When we were almost back to my place, I made one last attempt to lighten his load. "Hey, you know you and Deidra...you'll work it out."

"Maybe." To my surprise, he sounded like he didn't really care one way or the other whether he ever saw her again. Kenney always scared me when he sank into moods like this, and I fought the urge to reach over and grab him.

Unfortunately, I didn't seem to have as strong of a hold over my mouth as I had over my body. "Kenney," I blurted out suddenly. "Please don't be so sad. I hate when you get like this!"

He looked startled. "What? I'm not sad." Then he flashed what would have appeared to be a genuine smile if I hadn't already known him so well. "You're the one that needs to quit stressin'. Everything always gotta be so extreme with you, Tashi." He gave me a mischievous grin. "What a drama queen."

I playfully pinched his arm. "Shut up." When he walked me to the door, I asked if he was coming in.

"Nah, better not," and he left it at that. Then he looked at me for the longest time, and...I could have sworn that he almost kissed me. He played it off so well, though, I really couldn't say for sure. Then he waited until I got safely into the apartment before strolling slowly back to the car. Again I noticed how much I liked his walk. Real laid back and easy...just like everything else about him.

I stood in the doorway long after Kenney had driven off, wishing that there was something I could do to make him feel better. Finally, I closed the door and went to answer the phone that I had left ringing for at least the hundredth time. Shayna and I still hadn't figured out how to turn the voicemail back on after I had accidentally reset all of the features. If and when we ever got it back working again, she said that I was banned from checking all messages. I agreed that this was probably best.

Of course it was Collin calling. He was such an ass. I don't know what the hell his problem was. Who in their right mind would let a phone ring that many times? I silently wondered if he had just been letting it ring the whole time that I was gone. Slowly it occurred to me that maybe that was his problem. He wasn't in his right mind.

"What do you want?" I snapped without thinking. My mind was still on Kenney.

"What? Who are you talking to?" he demanded after he let a moment of heavy silence linger between us...just long enough for me to remember who, in fact, I was talking to.

"Sorry," I mumbled, and tried to think of something to say to fill the next heavy silence that followed.

"Look, I'm on my way over. Be ready." And he hung up.

As usual, I did what he said and was ready to go by the time he picked me up. It actually ended up being a good thing that I didn't argue with him this time, though, because he had a surprise candlelit dinner on the beach waiting for me. It was beautiful, and even though the candles kept blowing out and we really weren't supposed to have an open flame out there anyway, I loved every minute of it.

I loved it up until the part where he told me we were going to this real chill club that he had just found out about...

"...Jasmine's..."

I looked over at him, startled, but didn't say anything. When we packed up our stuff and got back in the car, I prayed all the way there that we weren't going to that Jasmine's.

Unfortunately, God must have been on some other business that night, because that's exactly where we ended up. After a while, Collin looked over at me and asked what my problem was.

"Oh! Oh...It's just..." I thought quickly. "I guess I'm still shook up from going through the tunnel. I, uh, hate tight spaces."

I had never really intended on telling him that, knowing that eventually he could and probably would end up using it against me. Under the circumstances, though, I decided that him possibly using my fear of tight spaces to control me somewhere down the line, was the lesser of two evils - especially considering the fact that he would definitely lose his mind on sight if I put Kenney's feelings before his own.

When we got there, the bouncer was letting people just walk on through the door, which was cool since I was actually still a few months from being legally able to get in. And I was even more in luck when we almost made it through the entire night without seeing Aunt Jasmine. Breathing a sigh of relief when we slid through the door without making an underage scene, I eased into the booth next to Collin and tried to lay as low as possible for the rest of the night. Collin tried to get me to dance several times, but I told him that I wasn't feeling well and eventually he asked me if I wanted to go. I nodded yes and had almost made it to the door when I saw Aunt Jasmine coming our way. She smiled curiously at me and I had no choice but to wave and wait for her to make it over to us.

"Who's that?" Collin asked when I tugged on his hand, indicating that we had to wait and speak to her.

"Hey honey!" Jasmine called, putting on her best southern hospitality mask and pulling me up into a long hug. But I knew what she was really saying in between the lines was, "What the heck are you tryna pull, bringin' this man that my nephew hates into my place of business?"

Luckily, she was too much of a lady for that and turned to Collin with sharp, piercing eyes, deciding to first wait and see what kind of mess we were about to try and start.

I turned to Collin and said, just barely above a whisper, "This is Collin," even though I knew she could already figure out by my awkward, unsure stance who he was. Then I looked down at my shoes and said, "Collin this is Aunt...Miss Jasmine." I hoped that Collin hadn't picked up on the "aunt" part. The last thing I needed was for him to ask me whose aunt she was.

Collin held out his hand and gave her the same charming smile that he always flashed my mom. "Pleasure to meet you, ma'am. So..." he turned to look at me, "how do you two know each other?"

I just looked from Collin to Aunt Jasmine and struggled for an answer. Thankfully, Jasmine easily read the situation in my eyes and realized that I wasn't trying to start anything at all. In fact, I had been trying to stop anything from going left all night.

Just as smooth as Kenney, she looked back over her shoulder, as if suddenly seeing a crisis that needed her immediate attention and shook Collin's hand again. "Well," she said breezily through her hologram eyes, so much like her nephew's, "it was so nice to meet you, Suge. Y'all come back to my club anytime." Then she turned to me. "I'm glad you finally made it out here, hon." Hugging me close to her, she whispered in the ear furthest from Collin, "I understand." Then she patted my back and walked away.

I loved Aunt Jasmine for that.

"Isn't she the best?" I asked Collin, giving him my most innocent smile and grabbed his hand, leading him through the door. "I just met her...at school...she was..." Suddenly, my mind went blank. She was what? She was...what?

Shit.

Luckily, when I looked over at Collin, I noticed that he wasn't even paying attention. He usually didn't unless, of course, I was talking about him. I breathed a sigh of relief, for once grateful for his me me me complex, and shut my lying mouth.