Junior year didn't get any better. Not only did Collin intentionally plan something for us to do every time Kenney and I were supposed to go out and, more often than not, even when Shayna and I had plans, his little temper tantrums and "quit ignoring me" speeches had started coming more and more frequently. By the middle of junior year, Shayna hated Collin, and I was afraid that she would eventually tell Drama, who in turn would tell Kenney, how she felt. I asked her not to, and after a while told her to mind her own business, so you know how that goes. It was only a matter of time before she started hating me, too. Even Kenney only occasionally called me by the middle of Junior year, and even then it was more like a "just calling to check on you" sort of thing. Last I heard, Kenney and his girl had started getting pretty tight, anyway so I figured he didn't really have a whole lot of time to spend on me, regardless.

I never did make it out to Aunt Jasmine's meeting, either. Kenney told me that she had Drama give a talk in my place. Apparently, he had everyone's undivided attention, talking about the New World Order and how we were on our way to being a cashless society...all the stuff that used to strike fear in the hearts of us darker American citizens before it ended up being true and, unfortunately, to most no big deal. Drama was always talking about something, and every single time he had people ready to go out and overthrow the government by the time he was finished.

"You should have seen it," Kenney told me afterwards. "You would have thought he was Fredrick Douglass making a Fourth of July speech."

I didn't really see Kenney too much after that.

Looking back, Collin knew exactly what he was doing. He had successfully alienated me from all of my friends in less than a year. And he was so smooth about it, I didn't even realize they were gone. The only thing that I paid attention to was what Collin wanted, and what he needed. I had even picked up the habit of rushing home immediately after class, just so I wouldn't have to hear Collin's mouth about whether or not I was avoiding him. He was such a baby! He would get mad at the dumbest things, and then go off in a huff like a spoiled rotten brat. The crazy thing was, when he left, I would run after him. I never wanted him to leave me after an argument. There was just something about the idea of him walking away from me angry that I couldn't take.

Second semester, junior year, Shayna and I made amends and moved off campus together. She was always trying to get me to go to church with her. I didn't really have a problem with it, but Collin hated "church folk" and swore they were all hypocrites. I could kind of see where he was coming from, though. His father had made them go to church every Sunday and look how he treated his family.

I was a lot happier living with Shayna than I was living by myself. At least then I didn't feel as alienated as before. Drama would come over all the time, too, which made me feel even better. He and Shayna, I could tell, were completely and totally head over heels in love with each other. It was sickening, but cute. They were always hanging on to each other's every word. Drama was the only one who I had ever seen Shayna pay that much attention to. It was so cute. I loved seeing them together. They acted like they were already married, yet swore up and down that they weren't even dating. I knew better, though. They might not have realized the truth yet, but I did.

After a while, I got tired of Collin and broke up with him. Shayna told me it was about time. Drama never acknowledged other people's personal matters unless you asked him to, so of course he had no comment. Kenney just rolled his eyes when I told him, like he thought I was lying, but he kept his mouth shut. He did start coming over a lot more after that, though, and even went to church with Shayna and Drama on several occasions. For some reason, he never brought his girlfriend along, but I know that he wanted her to go with them. I don't know why I didn't go. I guess after listening to years of Collin preach about the evils of church, I had actually started to believe it.

The thing was, it did seem to be transforming Drama into a whole new person. I mean, he didn't drink anymore, didn't smoke. Don't get me wrong, he was still Drama, always trying to drop knowledge about the upliftment of somebody, always down for a good fight if he needed to get in it, but now he was more likely to try to stop a fight rather than start one. He stopped cussing so much, too, which I attributed more to his being around Shayna than church. I think we all started watching our mouths a little more around her after she started getting all religified on us. Well, after she reclaimed her religious upbringing, I should say, since her father was an Army chaplain.

Kenney, on the other hand, hadn't changed since the day I met him. He had always been like one of those holograms. If you looked at him straight on, he appeared to be this no drinking, no smoking, rarely cussing guy, extra serious all the time, always going over to his aunt's house and taking her to church. Super faithful to his girlfriend. Well...maybe that part had changed. He went from trying to hump everything with a round butt, hips and boobs to only wanting her.

I could appreciate that, though. Before we broke up, I could only hope that Collin was the same way.

The thing about Kenney, though, was that if you looked at him long enough from a different angle, you could tell that there was someone else just beneath the surface of all that tranquility. Someone moody and volatile that I couldn't ever quite figure out. Either side could flash out at you at any given moment, but that dark side was the side of him that I had always wanted to get to know. Truth be told, that was probably the side that fueled my inexplicable attraction to him. I was, after all, that chick.

And I knew it.

Kenney didn't really seem to be trying to hide anything, he just appeared to be keeping his dark side in serious check. He was the complete opposite of most other guys our age. Most guys usually walked around flaunting their roughneck side...or faking it - whichever shoe fit - and hiding their inner nerd. But Kenney never really flaunted or hid either side. That was just him. He never volunteered any information about anything. And the more I got to know Kenney, the harder it was for me to tell which side had the greatest pull on him.

Of course just when I started getting used to having Kenney around again, Collin came slithering back into my life like an unseen fog. I don't know where he came from, but the next thing I knew, he was back. It started out with his whole little "I miss you" act, which I didn't buy for a minute...this time. Then came the phone calls, then the flowers, and then he just started showing up places that he knew I was going to be.

One afternoon, Kenney, Shayna and I went to go see Drama perform a kind of spoken word/ one man show that he was trying to put together for a BET audition tape. For some reason, he figured he could sell them on this idea of having a whole thirty minute segment dedicated to nothing but spoken word. Of course, that was back when - thanks to Love Jones - poetry was just making a comeback with black folks, so none of us really believed that it would ever happen. Well, Shayna did. She was always down for Drama, no matter what his scheme of the week was. Who knew a few years later Russell Simons would not only carry out the very idea that Drama was proposing, but also have a hit Broadway show about it? At the time, though, the idea seemed as farfetched as his whole "microchips in the vaccinations" theory.

Again, who knew?

Drama was amazing that night. I knew, as sure as I sat out in the audience, just as enthralled as the next person that he was going to be powerful and influential...in whatever he ended up doing. He was so talented, he could do just about everything. But his true love had always been hip-hop. He used to tell us that he was going to be a "hip hop historian" when he graduated. Kenney and I used to laugh our ass off and ask where the hell they did that at, but Shayna never laughed. She always believed in everything he set out to do.

Thinking about Shayna, I looked over at her and saw that she was fully engaged in what he was saying. She was biting on the corner of her lip, something she only did when listening to Drama speak, and was watching him with squinted, smoky eyes. I looked back at Drama and smiled. They were perfect for each other, and they both knew it.

Of course, right about that time, Collin walked through the door and ruined my whole life. He didn't come over to me or anything, but that chick was with him. The one from registration. I think Kenney and I saw him at the same time. Then Kenney looked over at me to see what I was going to do. I just shrugged at him like I didn't care and turned my attention back toward the stage.

Kenney leaned over to me and whispered, "Want a drink?"

I nodded. He knew I did. I had been drinking a lot more than usual since Collin and I broke up, but not enough for anyone to be worried about...at that time. Suddenly, a thought came to me. Why had he offered me a drink? He hated when anyone drank, and especially hated when I did. He never said it out loud, but I could tell. I put my hand on Kenney's arm before he had a chance to stand up.

"Don't go over there."

"Over where?" He blinked innocently at me. I just looked back at him until he gave me one of his "be easy" smiles. "I ain't thinkin' 'bout that fool." Then he got up and sauntered over to the bar.

Even though Kenney didn't even steal a glance Collin's way, Collin was watching Kenney with so much hatred that it sent a shot of ice through my veins. Again I thought about Collin's threat toward Kenney if he ever tried to step to him. I fought the urge to run over and block Kenney from Collin's line of sight. When Kenney came back, he handed me the drink and went back to watching Drama, like he hadn't even felt Collin's eyes boring into the back of his head. But I knew he had. He was always 100 percent aware of his surroundings.

100 percent. Always.

I also realized that Kenney had gone over there with one purpose in mind – to piss Collin off – when I took a sip of my drink and realized that he had brought me back a 7-Up on ice.

Predictably, Collin came over a few days later to ask me out. I begrudgingly agreed, and the next thing I knew, we were back together. It was so weird how easy it was for me to go back to him. I don't even really remember how it turned out that way, but over the course of the next few weeks, I realized that I was back in the same old relationship with the same old fool.

Well, it was the same, but different. He was a lot nicer this time around, and not as controlling as he had been before. A lot of that may have had to do with the fact that I was never alone at home now, living with Shayna, and that as many threats as Collin made toward Kenney, he never seemed to want to start any problems with Drama. I didn't blame him. Drama seemed like if you pushed him too far, he might just beat Collin in a race for Mayor of Crazytown. The only difference - that luckily I realized and Collin didn't - was that Drama was in no shape, form or fashion trying to become another victim of "the system." Collin, on the other hand, didn't give a shit. He never had. He didn't even recognize what the system was.

Kenney never mentioned anything to me about Collin coming back around, but Drama, who always minded his own business unless he deemed it absolutely necessary to step in, pulled me to the side one day and asked me if I was happy.

"Am I happy?" I looked at him like he was crazy.

"Yeah, you know. Wit' your boy and all."

I laughed. "Nosy!"

"Just concerned," he said with an easy smile. I knew he was faking it.

"Naw, I'm cool."

He looked at me again for a really long time. "Look ma. Don't get ol' dude jacked up." Then he paused at the door before walking out. "And tell that fool, anybody got a problem wit' Kenney, they got a problem wit' Rob, too."

And that's all he said.

"Wait..." I stood up and followed him out of the room. "What's that supposed to mean?"

I thought about Collin's ever growing gun collection. He had so many, I was starting to believe that he might actually be dealing them out of his apartment. That would explain why he always had so much money and no job. I just never could figure out where he got the guns from.

"You just tell him what I said the next time he trips. He ain't the only one packin'."

My heart froze. "Um, listen..."

"I'm not even talking about me either, ma." When he saw the look on my face, he put a hand on my shoulder. "You're worried about Kenney?" I nodded. "Don't be. I can read people easy, you know?" I nodded. It was true, he could. "Collin ain't about shit." I was surprised because lately Drama never cursed. "Kenney would make that fool disappear real quick. And wouldn't even think twice about it, if God promised his crazy butt that it wouldn't catch up to him later." He looked reflective, like he was trying to wrap his mind around Kenney's way of thinking.

"I...don't know...what you're saying..."

"Just..." he sighed. "I know how you are. You're always trying to make peace, but end up making things worse." I looked away. "Look, if you're gonna stay with that fool, that's on you. But the more you try to defend Kenney to him, the more he thinks that Kenney's scared, which he ain't. And the more he thinks Kenney's scared, the more he's gonna try to push Kenney into doing something stupid. I don't know why he thinks he can get at Kenney and not at me. Between the two of us, I'm the one that'd rather help a Black Man up than take him out. Kenney's not like me at all. But if that's what Collin wants to believe, then..." his voice trailed off as if he realized that he'd already said too much. "Anyway...peace li'l sis." He gave me a quick hug and walked away.

Later that evening, I ran into Kenney down at the waterfront. He was shaking hands with a couple sitting on a bench and then started taking pictures of their children as they ran to play with the ducks. I sat down a few feet away and watched him. Kenney was an excellent photographer. He knew how to get real emotions into his work. He liked to not only create a nice scene for you to look at, but he wanted you to get lost in the art and feel like you were a part of its story. He wrote the same way.

Like Rob, I knew that Kenney would do something powerful one day.

When he finished, he shook hands again with who I assumed were the kids' parents, and then walked over to me.

"What's on your mind?" he asked, flopping down on the grass beside me.

"Those are going to be really great when you develop them."

"Yeah. Kids always photograph well."

"Can I have one of the pictures when you finish?"

"No doubt." He grinned at me. "When I took one of the shots, I had you in mind. I was gonna give it to you anyway."

I nodded and smiled. "Thanks." Then, as an afterthought, I added, "Collin hates kids."

Kenney looked over at me, his expression unchanging. "Always be weary of a man who hates children."

I shrugged. "They don't too much like him either."

Kenney shook his head. "Even worse. So," he looked back over at the kids, "what's up, Tashi? Were you lookin' for me?"

"Uh!" I joked. "Arrogant!"

"Naw. Just intuitive."

"Huh," I nodded again. "Yeah, actually, I was." I picked at a blade of grass. "I can't go with you on Sunday."

"Why not?"

"Because. Collin..."

"He what, Tashi?" Kenney looked over at me incredulously. "This is bull and you know it. How's he gonna keep you from going to church? What's he think I'ma do? Fuck you in the balcony?"

"Kenney..."

"Don't Kenney me. Every time it's that same shit and your dumbass just keeps fallin' for it."

Kenney stood up. I didn't try to stop him. When I looked away, he held out his hand to help me up. I pretended not to see it at first, but then he squatted down in front of me.

"Can't you see what he's trying to do Natasha? That's what they always do. They try to alienate you from the people closest to you. So you feel like you don't have anybody to turn to."

"They who?" I snapped, but I knew what he was talking about. Still, who did Kenney think he was? Project Change?

"You know who." Kenney stood back up and offered his hand to me again. I took it this time, and he helped me up. "I just don't want him to hurt you."

"He won't." I gave him a fake smile. "I promise."

He saw all the way through me. "Sorry I called you a dumbass." I could tell he really felt bad.

I shrugged and looked down at his boots. Brand new Lugz. Nice. "I've been called worse."

Kenny waited until I looked back up at him, and then locked his eyes with mine. "Not by me." He gave me a hug. "Never by me." He hugged me tighter and rubbed my back. Out of the blue I remembered our freshman year and how I wanted to rip his clothes off every single time he did that. I'm not sure why, but I kind of felt like that right then. "Take care of yourself, Tashi."

"Ok. You too," I said breezily and quickly pulled away. Maybe Collin was right. Maybe Kenney and I being too close was...a bad idea. "Tell your aunt I'm sorry I can't make it."

"Yeah." He looked back over toward the kids. "My mom and sisters are comin' up this weekend."

"Really?" I was surprised that Kenney hadn't said something sooner. "Oh Kenney, I didn't know it was important like that. I...I'll be there."

Kenney looked at me and shook his head. "Nah, that's aight."

"No really, I'll be there."

"Look, Tashi," he put his hand on my shoulder and gave me a stern look, almost like a father. "Stop making promises to me that you know he won't let you keep. I'll see you later."

And with that, he walked away.