The next day, Collin called and said that he read my poem and thought it was beautiful.

"Whatever Collin," was my only response. Luckily, Kenney clicked in on the other line before he had a chance to say anything else. "Hello?"

"'Sup Tashi?"

"Ain't nut'n. 'Sup witchyou?"

He groaned loudly. "You must be talking to that fool Collin."

I couldn't hold back my disbelieving laugh. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Not a thing. You just talk all gangster-like around him." I laughed even louder. "You ain't no gangsta," Kenney teased quietly.

"So...what?"

"What do you mean what?"

"I mean, what do you want, Bud?"

"Oh! So now I gotta have a reason to call you?"

"No, it's not that. It's just..." my voice trailed off as I heard the click of my other line disconnecting.

"Sounds like you just got hung up on."

I nodded into the phone. "Sounds like."

"So what happened last night?"

I stiffened. "What do you mean?"

"I mean wit' ol' boy. He looked pretty pissed."

"Nah, he was cool," I lied. "That's what I get for making two plans for the same night."

"What do you mean 'that's what you get'? What happened?"

I laughed, trying to play it off. "Uh! Why you so paranoid? Mind your own business. And speaking of..."

"Aw, here you go," he sighed loudly. "What?"

"You already know what. Don't try to blast me out on stage like that anymore. That's the second time," I emphasized, letting him know that there wouldn't be a third.

I could tell Kenney was grinning. "You know you liked it. I mean...that joint was all for you. You better have liked it."

I tried not to grin. "Whatever. I'm serious. What was all that crap about Collin roughin' me up, Kenney? You don't even know what the hell you're talking about."

"Oh, I don't, huh?"

"No. You don't."

He was suddenly serious. "I'll remember that."

"Yeah. So...what did Deidra have to say about your little stunt?"

"Not a thing. She's not into all that artsy stuff like we are, and neither are her people. And even if there was a chance that she heard about it, for all she knows I was talkin' 'bout her."

"Such the player."

"I was born into the game, baby. Don't hold it against me."

"Right...so..."

"So nuthin'. Just wanted to see what's up. Make sure I didn't have to hem that lame up for ac'n a fool."

"You're such a badass, Kenney."

"And you cuss too much, Tashi."

"Yeah," I sighed, thinking about Collin. "That's what they say. So tell me," I was suddenly curious, "You don't seem like the scrappin' type, Bud."

"I know. I'm not."

"So why do you always think you can take anybody that crosses you?"

"First of all," he replied cockily, "who would be stupid enough to cross me? Second of all, I don't think that I could take that foo Collin. I know I could."

I decided to just let that one ride. Then I remembered what I had been meaning to ask him for months. "Kenney?"

"Yeah?"

"Why didn't you go home last summer?"

He was quiet for a real long time, as if contemplating which direction would steer me all the way clear of the real answer. "Well...my aunt and mother thought it might be easier for me to stay out of trouble here, where I don't run with but a select few."

"What...kind of trouble?"

"What's up wit' all the questions, sis? What're you tryna get at?"

It wasn't like Kenney not to answer a question directly, so I hesitated before telling him what was really on my mind.

"Oh...nothing really. Collin was just talkin' junk about me not really knowing you as well as I think I do, that's all."

"Uh-huh." He was thoughtful. "So how well do you think you know me?"

"How well do we really know anyone?" I replied offhandedly, then threw in, "I told him he was just paranoid," for good measure.

"I see."

"Well..." now that I had successfully brought our conversation to a screeching halt, "guess I'd better go."

"Ok." He caught me right before I hung up. "Hey, Tashi?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm not runnin' from anything...or hiding, if that's what you're thinking."

"I know that." I smiled. "See ya."

"Aight."

The next few days I didn't really feel like being bothered with anyone. I could tell that Kenney was getting annoyed with the fact that I never felt like talking when he called, but he always kept his mouth shut about it. And he just kept right on calling, too. Collin, on the other hand was the most persistent of anyone I'd ever met. I mean, he kept calling. Then one night he actually showed up at my door without warning. I wondered how he had gotten past the graduate assistant, who was usually at the front desk to sign guests in at night, but I figured that she just recognized him from being up here with me all the time. She let Kenney through like that, too. I'd have to talk to her about that the next time I saw her.

It was also weird that Collin would come all the way back to Hampton just to get on my nerves for the last few minutes of visitation before all the guys had to get up out of the dorm. Coincidentally, he and Kenney both ended up finding apartments in Newport News our sophomore year, so I never saw either of them on campus nearly as often as I used to.

"What do you want?" I asked as soon as I opened the door and saw Collin standing there.

"I just wanted to talk..." he looked behind him. "You know, they're gonna put me out soon..."

"Not soon enough," I grumbled and didn't budge from blocking the doorway.

"Look," he tried to take my hand. I pulled it away. "Can we go somewhere and talk?"

"No." I started to close the door in his face.

He looked down and sort of backed up and, for some reason, the fact that he didn't get mad or try to argue his case made me feel like maybe he had something real to say to me this time.

"What do you want?"

His expression didn't change. "Will you take a walk with me?" Again he held out his hand. I didn't take it, but I did get my jacket and keys and followed him back down the stairs.

I stopped when he kept walking after we got outside. "Where are we going?"

He took my hand then and said easily, "To the waterfront." This time I didn't pull away from him. When we got to a bench right next to the water, he motioned for me to sit down and then squatted down in front of me. He gazed at me so intently for such a long time, that I almost started to wonder if he was trying to pull a Mommy Fortuna and read my mind. As beautiful as I had always thought his eyes to be, they had also always been equally as unnerving when he looked at me for too long. It was strange the way I was drawn to them and intimidated by them at the same time.

I looked away first. When I did, he got up and sat down on the bench next to me. Again he took my hand, then took in a deep breath. "You know, this place reminds me of...that day at the creek..."

I snatched my hand away and looked at him incredulously. "Are you freakin' kidding me, Collin? You brought me all the way out here to talk about having sex with you? You're always trying to throw that in my face! What the hell's wrong with you that you would bring that shit up now?" Then I jumped up.

He jumped up, too, but didn't look nearly as mad as he should have. Instead he kind of smiled and coaxed me back down. "I...I wasn't talking about the time that I...that you wouldn't...didn't want to..." He ran a hand tiredly over his face in an attempt to wipe away a memory that had obviously struck a nerve in both of us. "I was talking about a different time, when we were kids." He looked away. "You might not even remember, but I meant the time that I broke my arm." 

He looked at me and I couldn't help but smile at the memory of his little crybaby self. "Yeah, I remember."

He read my grin and chuckled. "Don't even say it. I know, I bitched up on that one."

"You were just a kid." I shrugged. "Looked like it hurt."

"Hurt like hell." He nodded. "I was so scared, too." I looked over at him in surprise. I'd never heard Collin admit to be being afraid of anything...or even hurt by anything for that matter. "But you stayed with me. Everyone else left, but you stayed." He ran his hand softly across my cheek. "Do you remember?" I nodded, and felt myself slowly opening back up to him. Charmed once again. That dang Mommy Fortuna move worked every time. "Do you remember what you said?" I just looked at him, again captivated by the sincerity in his eyes. "You said that," this time he looked away first, "you said that you'd never leave me." Then he looked back at me. "Do you still mean that?"

I looked away, blinking back tears and feeling like a straight sucker. How was it that he had managed to make me feel so bad when he was the one all up in my grill the other night, like he wanted to body slam me?

He took my other hand and kind of made me look back in his direction. "I'm so sorry I yelled at you, baby. I'm so sorry." He put his arm around me and I didn't pull away. And when he kissed my cheek, I tried not to melted into him, but you know I did, and almost put my head on his shoulder. "Those things I said to you...you know I would never do that to you, right?" I nodded. I knew. He looked down at me and put his fingers against my cheek, then softly ran his thumb across my bottom lip. He knew I loved that. I turned my face into his hand and wanted him to kiss me.

As hard as I was trying to fight it, I knew that my head would always lose this eternal battle with my heart when it came to Collin. I was bound to him from day one and there was nothing I could do about it.

"I didn't mean it," he repeated. "I'm so sorry."

We listened to the small waves crashing all around us as he patiently waited for my response, and when I could bite my tongue no longer, I looked over at him and gave in.

"It's ok."