《Redcrackle Oneshots》Incorrect Quotes🤪
Advertisement
At first I was just gonna do redcrackle but then I thought of some funny ones that I did not want to pass up lmao..
Sooo....Enjoy!
____________
𝙴𝚍𝚒𝚝: 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚜 𝚒 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 :𝙳
____________
--------------------------------------------------------------
Ivy: it's dark in here
Zack: don't worry sis I got this
Zack: *stomps his feet*
Zack: *sketchers light up*
--------------------------------------------------------------
Zari: in the light of our victory, you can hug me for four to five seconds
Chase: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?
Zari: What? No-
Chase: TOO LATE
#ZarineauxRights
--------------------------------------------------------------
Zack: knocking is just punching someone's house until they talk to you.
Carmen, crying: please just go to bed
--------------------------------------------------------------
Gray & Carmen: *Staring into each other's eyes...*
Tigress: *opens a soda can*
Carmen: We're having a moment
Tigress: And I'm having a soda
--------------------------------------------------------------
Chief: I love this good cop-bad cop thing you have going on.
Julia: Um its not really a thing, its more like I'm nice and inspector Devineaux is not.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Gray: I made tea
Sheena: I dont want tea
Gray: i didnt make tea for yOU. This is my tea.
Sheena: Then why are you telling me?
Gray: its a coversation starter
Sheena: its a horrible conversation starter.
Gray: Oh, yeah? Well, we're conversing. Checkmate, mate.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Player, opening a caprisun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away
--------------------------------------------------------------
Zack: There's no "I" in team but there is one in pizza
Ivy: So you're not going to share?
Zack: I'm not going to share.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Carmen: *swoops in to save Gray from being cornered by VILE and/or ACME and zips away on her zipline*
Gray:
Gray: How's it hanging?
--------------------------------------------------------------
Sheena: I prevented a murder today
Gray: Really? how?
Sheena: self control
--------------------------------------------------------------
Julia: God, give me patience.
Chase: I think you mean 'give me strength'.
Julia: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.
Advertisement
--------------------------------------------------------------
Carmen: Gray, you've lost a lot of blood and you're going to need a transfusion. What's your type?
Gray: oh, uh...smart, beautiful, constantly wears the color red, is being hunted by numerous organizations-
Carmen: Wha-no, your blood type!
Gray: ohhh-
Gray:
Gray: uh, red?
--------------------------------------------------------------
Zack: Why can't dinosaurs clap?
Ivy: because their arms are too shor-
Player: Because they're all dead.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Carmen: Just try to look at things from my perspective!!
Gray: *squats down to her eye level*
Carmen:
Carmen: You are a dead man
--------------------------------------------------------------
Maelstrom: Truth or dare?
Cleo: Dare
Maelstrom: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room
Cleo: Hey, Coach Brunt?
Brunt, blushing: Yeah?
Cleo: Could you move? I'm trying to get to Saira
--------------------------------------------------------------
Gray: Quick, take my hand!
Carmen: Ok, now what?
Gray: Well you see, I hadn't thought that far ahead i just wanted to hold your hand
Carmen:
Carmen: ok
--------------------------------------------------------------
Sheena: I only feel one emotion and that is anger
Gray: Last night you drunk texted us a 1000 heart emojis
Sheena: Out of anger.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Carmen: I like the strong silent type, you know?
Gray: *quietly tries to lift a table*
--------------------------------------------------------------
Zack: I've changed all my passwords to incorrect
Player:....why
Zack: because if I ever forget it, my devices will remind me "your password is incorrect"
Player: That is the most genius piece of idiocy I've ever heard.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Chase: I can explain.
Julia: Can you?
Chase: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Gray: So, are we flirting now?
Carmen: I LITERALLY JUST PUNCHED YOU
Gray: That doesn't answer my question
--------------------------------------------------------------
Zack: I turned out perfectly fine!
Ivy: Bro, this morning you thought a ghost made you toast.
Zack: I DIDNT PUT THE BREAD IN!! YOU DIDNT PUT THE BREAD IN!!
Advertisement
--------------------------------------------------------------
Carmen: *sigh* I just want someone to take me out-
Gray: like in a date type of way or like an assassination type of way?
Carmen: Surprise me :D
--------------------------------------------------------------
Sheena: I have a fun Christmas idea....what if when we hang a mistletoe instead of kissing we fight whoevers underneath it?
Gray: no
Blacksheep: .....mistlefoe
Gray: Blacksheep, no
--------------------------------------------------------------
Sheena: Some people are like slinkies
Gray: Explain
Sheena: Not really good for much but they make you crack a smile when you push them down the stairs
Gray:
Gray: Please don't push Blacksheep down the stairs
Sheena: You can't stop me.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Maelstrom: There are seven chairs and ten kids, what do you do?
Blacksheep: Bring 3 more chairs
Crackle: Have everyone stand and T-Pose
Tigress: The best of seven of the lot can sit
Maelstrom: Good, good, what do you think, Paper Star?
Paper Star: Kill three children.
Everyone: ....
--------------------------------------------------------------
Julia: This is such a bad idea.
Chase: Then why are you coming along?
Julia: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.
*except they are the cops? Oops
--------------------------------------------------------------
Zack, to an employee after losing Ivy in the supermarket because he was distracted by the ice cream section: Have you seen my sister?
Zack: Average height, short red hair, freckles, muscly, bossy?
Zack: She's clearly gay but we haven't had the talk yet.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Crackle: You know what's worse than dying?
Crackle: *pulls off paper bag to reveal blacksheep*
Crackle: Boom.
Tigress: BLACK SHEEP
Crackle: What-no-
--------------------------------------------------------------
Cleo: so, anyway, i was- *trips over a body*
Bellum: Is that MAELSTROM???
Cleo: is he sleeping or is he dead
Bellum: Hopefully dead, I hated his guts.
Brunt: Yoo same
Maelstrom: Okay first of all, fuck you-
--------------------------------------------------------------
Gray, to Carmen over a cup of coffee: Are you a type of bread? Because I want you to be my BAEgal 😏
Carmen: ....
--------------------------------------------------------------
Zack: You know you've made it when you see your picture up everywhere you go.
Carmen: Zack, these are wanted posters-
--------------------------------------------------------------
Antonio: Want a quicky?
Jean Paul, blushing; w-what?
Antonio: You know, those little cake things
Jean Paul: You mean a QUICHE???
--------------------------------------------------------------
Coach Brunt: Bellum isn't answering their phone
Cleo: I'll call
Coach Brunt: Maelstrom and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-
Bellum: Hello?
--------------------------------------------------------------
Jean Paul: I'm not doing too well...
Sheena, nodding in understanding: I have this headache that comes & goes...
Mime Bomb: *walks into the room*
Sheena: Oh, look there it is again.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Carmen: Gray, Violence isnt the answer
Gray: you're right...
Carmen: *sighs in relief*
Gray: Violence is the question.
Carmen: What?
Gray, bolting away with his crackle rod: AND THE ANSWER IS YES
Carmen, running after him: nO-
--------------------------------------------------------------
Shadowsan: *Gets down on one knee*
Lady Dokuso: Oh my god, it's finally happening!!
Shadowsan: *Falls over*
Lady Dokuso: The poison is kicking in!!
--------------------------------------------------------------
Carmen, to team red: Alright listen up you little shits
Carmen: Not you, player. You're an angel and we're glad you're here.
/
Coach Brunt to the VILE operatives: Alright listen up you little shits
Coach Brunt: Not you, blacksheep, you're an angel and we're glad you're here.
/
Advertisement
- End996 Chapters
Rebirth of the Thief Who Roamed the World
The world’s largest VRMMO, Conviction, was almost like a second world for humanity. It had integrated itself into the real world’s economy, with both corporations and individuals seeking their fortunes through the game. In this game, Nie Yan prided himself in his Level 180 Thief. He could barely be considered among the top experts in the game. Though, that was the only thing he could take pride in. He was penniless and unable to advance in life; a situation he was forced into by the enemy of his father. If it weren’t for the little money he made by selling off items in Conviction, he would’ve barely been able to eat. In the end, he chose to settle his matters once and for all. He assassinated his father’s enemy. He lay dying shortly after being shot in the pursuit. However, that wasn’t the end of his story. Instead, he awoke moments later to find that he had reincarnated into his past-self. Armed with his experience and knowledge of future events, he sets out to live his life anew.
8 901 - In Serial27 Chapters
Palus Somni
It is the final days after the end of the world and you only have one month left before the last sanctuary erupts into chaos. There's a dead body hanging from a tree and cadaverous giants watch you sleep at night. The end is already here, you just don't know it yet. Now rated in the top 3% of all novels on Royal Road! Palus Somni (‘Marsh of Sleep’) is a worldbuilding webnovel about what happens when your God forsakes you. Inspired by gothic horror and mingled with British myth and folklore, join the Alucinari nuns as they struggle with day-to-day life after the world has ended. Every night when the sun sets the monstrous Gol, colossal beings with too many teeth, awaken and roam the marshlands. Only those with a faithful heart will be spared. Young acolyte Wille has never seen the walls fail, but when a fellow nun is murdered within their sanctum the very safety of the monastery is thrown into question. Did the Gol find a way to breach their defences, or is there a human traitor amongst them? The answer lies both far in the past and deep beneath the earth, through the maze of ancient catacombs. With a cast of over thirty different characters, watch as your friends and enemies spiral into inevitable madness at the hands of a callous and unforgiving world. Discover the secrets of Palus Somni through letters, diary entries and notes found scattered across the monastery. Uncover the mystery of the grotesque giants that stalk the night and bring your challenge to the Gods themselves. Each character has their own handmade pixel art, and every update includes a music recommendation for a dark atmospheric dungeon synth album that you can listen to while you read. Slice of life meets cosmic abomination: Palus Somni is a collection of intertwining stories, some chapters are stand-alone tales while others feed into the overarching narrative. It is an exploration into a community, and rather than focusing on any one character the story meanders through the convent, exposing the hopes and fears of its inhabitants. Story updates every full moon.
8 60 - In Serial19 Chapters
The Successor
The Immortal God Emperor is dead...yet his Successor will one day arise. The worlds had long moved on from the greatest Cultivator of all time. The things that had been achieved and the advances made in the Immortal God Emperor's absence were nothing to turn one's nose up at. And yet, something was always missing. Because Cultivators, no matter the goals they pursue, always bow to the greater power. They seek it, they covet it for themselves, and they serve it with reverence. Shan Kai Lan was born into such a world. Born to two herb farmers whose cultivation did not surpass the Foundation Realm, yet who loved their son more than anything. Kai Lan was a child blessed by the Spiritual Plain, far more gifted and more intelligent than others his age. Yet the more profound his achievements, the greater the likelihood that his happy, peaceful life would be trampled on by those who desired his potential for themselves. The question of Kai Lan's journey becomes not whether he will reach the highest peak of cultivation, but what he will be forced to do to keep his young Clan, and the happiness it provides, at peace. Note to Reader: I am not of an Asian background, but this work is heavily influenced by Eastern stories and concepts. In saying that, it is an INFLUENCE only. Keep in mind that this is a fantasy work, and any butchering of names, concepts or cultural objects/places/subjects are not meant in any way to offend. With that in mind, Happy Reading! - Jelim
8 90 - In Serial12 Chapters
An Average American in A High-school Academy Anime
An American versed in narrative tropes and more than mildly acquainted with anime wakes up in a completely different bed than the one he went to bed in. Now he has to scramble to understand where he is, what's going on, and hope to God he isn't in a relationship drama. I don't expect this to be good or well-received, but I have plenty of time this quarantine, so I'll try to get a chapter of 4000-10000 words out every one or two weeks. (haha) Please let me know how it can be improved. I'm an avid reader of fiction, but I've never really fallen down a rabbit hole so hard that I can name all tropes and settings and such by heart. I'm not sure if this will be effective satire, so I preemptively apologize. Inspired by: "My Life is Not a Manga, or maybe..." by EO Tenkey and "The Simulacrum" by Eganthale. Check them out if you want probably better stories than this one.
8 154 - In Serial50 Chapters
The Lone Survivor
"You sure he's here?""Yeah, I'm sure. Can't you smell him? And haven't you heard about the young leopard shifter who's been spotted around these parts? Talk is that he's the lone survivor, and he's going to be ours"~~~My name is Fabian Davies, and I am a rogue leopard shifter. But it wasn't always this way.I used to have a family, a leap. We all lived in a huge house in the forest together, and we were one of the strongest leaps of our kind. Now, I live alone, scared to let go of the past or venture far from the house that I used to call my home. My leap disappeared five years ago, leaving me with nothing, no trace of where they went. Not even a note.Zion and Chase. The twins who stumbled upon my home and changed my life for good. They seem to know something about my pack, but without knowing their intentions, how can I possibly trust them?I am a rogue leopard shifter, cast aside by everyone I meet. I am the lone survivor.
8 251 - In Serial15 Chapters
Primorial Demon
What if Iruma never was a human bit an angel and fell down from heaven? What if he lost all memories of being an angel? What if Sullivan finds him in the underworld and takes him in because he knew that a demon with a kind heart but no wings wouldn't survive? What if the teachers find out about the wingless situation? Well let's find out!A/N:This is a welcome to demon school Iruma-kun fanstory and I have no idea where this is gonna go ... hope you enjoy! Please also feel free to correct my bad writing.Rights on the pictures go to the artist.I do not own Welcome to demon school Iruma-kun, rights to the owner.
8 204
Prev Chap
Next Chap
Chap List
Boy
Girl
