If you want me to make any changes, Bree, just comment whatever.

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SUMMARY: During the Events of the need for speed caper, Ivy struggles with doubt in her abillities as a thief and Carmen is there for her

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CARMEN POV

Carmen Sandiego's approach to life was rather simple: Go with the Flow. While she never skewed away from planning tenaciously for her various capers, the thief often found it best to leave things up to chance, to not set a rigid structure in place and confine her. Rigid structure didn't exactly workout with crime school and all.

Most of her victories against VILE were the result of quick thinking on her part and simply knowing her enemy, rather than a crazy 50 step plan that required perfect execution.

Carmen took a similar approach to leadership. She had never quite been in a position where she held authority above others, and she didn't really know how to handle it.

Zack and Ivy were technically her henchmen/lackies, sure, but she she'd much rather be their friend than their boss. For the full two years they'd traversed the world together, Carmen kept to that mentality when the siblings slipped up. She couldn't exactly expect them to be as clean as she was, after all.

But there came a point where competence outweighed backgrounds, where skill was prioritized over situation. Carmen had only begun to realize that when...

Dubai.

They went to the city of the future in order to stop the theft of a new model of a race car—one that would make the ultimate getaway vehicle if it ever got into VILE's hands.

Zack and Ivy, what with their background in racing and mechanics, respectively, were supposed to hot wire it's engine and stealthily drive it off the island.

Key words: Supposed To.

The siblings messed up. Again. And Carmen had simply snapped.

"Do you realize you jeopardized the entire mission?! When are you going to stop behaving like amateurs?" She had demanded, her eyes unforgiving as her lips twitching in anger.

The siblings had obviously sensed her rage as they recoiled immediately, not even bothering to offer an explanation.

A small part of her conscience made it through, and Carmen gave them a chance to explain. "So let's hear what was so 'wicked ridiculous.' What was possibly worth risking your necks AND mine and giving VILE a chance to win?!"

"Go on." She had spit. "I'm listening."

Thinking back, Carmen winced at the venom in here words, at the anger and judgement that seemed to emanate from her at the time. She knew her lashing out was valid and deserved but....had she been too harsh?

Carmen sighed, placing her forehead in her palm and massaging her temples. The mission had been a bust as of now, meaning they'd have to try again tomorrow at the test run. She and the siblings had checked into a hotel for the night. Fueled by anger, she had booked two rooms: one for Zack and Ivy and one for her.

Not only had it been a petty thing to do, it had been a waste of money. And the Latina Hated wasting money that could go to charity.

Zack, being his usual self, had bounced back pretty quickly. While he certainly wasn't over her scolding, it wasn't affecting him to the point where he couldn't sleep.

"ZzzzZz..." Came his snore from the room across the hall, its door partly open. At that Carmen cracked a small smile.

She stood up and went to close it, slipping her keycard into her pocket before strolling down the hallway. Ivy must have gone for a walk.

Carmen winced. She knew Ivy would take what she said harder than Zack but....

She didn't expect her to straight up disappear without letting her know first.

Despite the time of night, the hotel was alive just like all of Dubai. People were trickling in and out, staff still running here and there. If anything it was busier than it had been in the evening.

Carmen watched as a family of seven checked in. A woman in a hijab attempted to rangle 5 children all under the age of 12 while a man resembling them spoke in heated Arabic with the desk clerk.

A mother, a father. Siblings. Carmen internally snorted. It must've been nice.

She continued on, making her way to the parking lot. The cool night air brushed her skin, rustling the loose strands of her auburn waves as it struggled through the city streets.

She found Ivy in the parking garage, her fine blue Gray dress now swapped out for a blue flannel with a hoodie on top and dark jeans. The Bostonian was dangling her legs off the side of the place and sitting next to where Carmen's motorcycle was parked.

"Hey." Carmen whispered softly, her heartbeat spiking just a little bit at the sight of the woman.

Ivy turned around. "Oh. Hey."

"Mind if I sit?" Carmen asked gently, for once afraid of saying the wrong thing.

"Not like I can stop you." Ivy said with a shrug. The thief sat down next to the Bostonian, her legs dangling off the ledge side-by-side with the redhead's. A silence somewhere between comfortable and uncomfortable descended upon them as each peered at the massive technological wonders filling Dubai's downtown.

Carmen turned, discreetly taking the opportunity to observe Ivy. The woman was attractive, alright. Her smooth skin was brushed with freckles and her eyes were a beautiful blue that reflected the light sources around them. Ivy's hair was a fiery orange red that Carmen didn't know was possible on a human being prior to meeting her, and the imprint of her toned biceps bulged through her sleeve.

"Listen...Ivy..." Carmen began, carefully, glancing at the ginger before continuing. "A...lot went down today. A lot that could've ended very, very badly."

At that Ivy winced, causing Carmen to quickly change the subject. "When I got mad earlier, it wasn't because I hated you two. I was worried, Ivy. Worried for me, worried for the mission, for Zack,....for...you." Carmen didn't let on just how worried she'd been.

A memory from earlier in the night crept up. Police cars were tailing the siblings while Carmen followed closely behind on her bike. And then it had happened. Zack and Ivy had gotten detained.

Carmen's heart had dropped at the thought of them in jail, and the possibility of them getting hurt.

The thief blinked, returning to present times. "I would never go off at you two like that without a reason. You know that. Whatever doubt you're dealing with now....I just want you to know that, no matter what....I'm here to listen."

A beat of silence slithered between them, the sound of city traffic ringing in Carmen's ear. She began to wonder if she hadn't said what Ivy wanted her to, or worse, she'd made things worse, or--

And then there it was. Ivy's voice, coming out in the smallest of whispers.

"Thats just it." The redhead said. "Doubt."

Carmen cocked her head to the side to show she was ready to listen.

"I think you were right, Carm. I am an amateur. A fuck-up."

"Ivy..." The thief began, reaching out to place a hand on her shoulder but thinking better of it.

"Carm, you won't understand, dammit. Will you just leave me alone!?" Ivy yelled, flinching away from the thief's body. "I just-just need space."

Carmen was at a loss for words momentarily, Ivy's bitter rejection stinging like a slap across the cheek. "If thats what you really want." She whispered, feeling dejected.

She stood slowly, slipping her hands into her pockets and retreated into the shadows of the parking garage. Before she could make it to the door, though....

⚠️⚠️𝚃𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐!⚠️⚠️

The next part of this chapter discusses suicidal thoughts and mental health. You have been warned.

IVY POV

Carmen's fading footsteps felt like a fading heartbeat, one that was Ivy's last life line.

The truth was, she hadn't planned on returning from this parking garage. Burdened by doubt, regret, and just the inescapable feeling of being not enough, the idea of ending it all had grown all the more appealing these past few months. Then Dubai had happened. The one person who perhaps mattered most of all had reiterated her deepest doubts.

"When will you stop behaving like amateurs?" Carmen had accused, numbing Ivy's tongue of any defense.

And what hurt the worst of all was that she was right. Amateur, child, failure, fuckup. Its seemed Ivy couldn't escape those words in life. But maybe she could in death.

That had been her thought process when climbing the stairs to the fifth floor of the parking garage. Now, as she stood on the ledge and peered into the streets of Dubai, she wasn't so sure.

Call Carmen. A voice whispered. Do it.

No, another screeched back, Jump! Jump you worthless piece of nothing!

Tears began to flow down Ivy's face as she clutched the side of the building and bent her knees.

"Carmen!" A strangled cry broke from her lips in her body's last attempt to save herself. "HELP!"

"Ivy!" Carmen had answered, her footsteps turning and breaking into a sprint back towards her. "IVY! What are you--"

"Oh My God!" The theif made it just in time, her arms wrapping around Ivy's waist as she desperately yanked her away from the ledge.

They both collapsed onto the gritty cement with two twins thuds, panting as the gravity of what they had narrowly avoided began to sink in.

"Ivy..." Carmen began, her eyes swirling with confusion and hurt. "Why...why didn't you say anything?"

"I did." She laughed weakly, no humor in her voice. "I called for you, didn't I?"

"Please don't joke about this. How-how long?" The woman in red demanded.

A beat of silence stretched between them. "It got bad these past couple of months, but....for years honestly."

Carmen waited. She seemed to be contemplating how best to respond. "Look, Ivy....I'm not the best at dealing with mental health, but please talk to me. I'm here for you and I want to listen."

The thief pleaded with her beautiful stormy gray eyes. Eyes the redhead couldn't say no to.

Ivy relented with a sigh, her cheeks wetting with tears. She began quietly. "All my life, Carm....I've felt like a failure. No matter what, I haven't been able to be good enough for anything, for anyone! Well, except maybe Zack. Knowing that he was always there for me used to be enough but...."

She looked up, meeting the thief's stormy grey eyes. "Now I feel like I'm just holding him back, too."

Carmen opened her mouth the say something but seemed to think better of it, instead rubbing her shoulder comfortingly.

"It started when my mom died. Dad left us before I could remember, really, so it was just me, her, and Zack. We were poor, sure, but we were happy. At least, I thought we were."

Ivy leaned into Carmen's warm embrace, breathing in her comforting scent as she settled against her chest. "Mom killed herself. I was 16, zack was 15. We had to fend for our fucking selves from that day on." She felt the tears slipping down her cheeks that much faster. "I know it's fucked up, but ever since, the thing I focused on about her death was that I wasn't good enough for her to stick around either.

"That was what started all of...all of this." She gestured to herself one her crying state. "Now look at me. In the same position she was." Ivy laughed randomly, her laugh turning into a choked sob that was the first of many. She buried her face in Carmen's shoulder as the Latina clutched her dearly, whispering sweet nothings in her ear and rubbing her palm along Ivy's spine.

"I wasn't good enough for any of it, Carm. I wasn't good enough for my mom, for school, for racing, for stealing, for-for.....you...."

Ivy, realizing what she had confessed sat up, emotion shining in her cerulean eyes.

"Me?" Carmen sat up, turning to face her.

"Don't you get it?" Ivy whispered, tears welling up once again. "I'm in love with you, Carmen. And I'll never, ever be good enough for you."

"You-you're-." Carmen shut her eyes together, trying to process Ivy's confession. "How long have you...."

"Loved you? I don't know. I'd like to think it was a love at first sight sort of thing, but maybe I just thought you were hot at the time in Boston."

At this Carmen cracked a small smile. "I was looking like a ten that night."

"You kidding?" Ivy chuckled. "You're a whole damn dime every single day."

Carmen felt a blush dusting her cheeks as she looked away. "Ivy...why would you think you weren't good enough for me?"

At this, the Bostonian's cheeky grin fell. "What can I say, Carm? You've dedicated your life to stopping VILE, even though it could kill you and even though it would be so much easier to just turn away. You're rhe great Carmen Sandiego. Anyone would want to be with you."

"And....does that anyone include you?" Carmen whispered sweetly, her tone gentle.

She snorted. "Yeah, I'll get in line behind that ACME chick and Gray or Graham or whatever."

The latina didn't respond, leaving Ivy to continue. "Look at you, Carm. Then look at me. I'm just a good for nothing nobody from the Boston projects. You're every guy and gal's dream."

"No! That's bullshit!" Carmen scooched closer, taking the redhead's hands in her own. "Ivy, you are so many amazing things. Loving, caring, loyal to the fucking bone, dependable, capable, SMART?! Ever since you've come into my life, you've made everyday so much brighter."

"Ivy you were there for me through my ups and downs, and you saved me from going insane so many times that I can't even count. I wouldn't trade you for anything, for anyone."

Ivy was speechless out of shock. She moved her lips, trying to find her words. "B-but I...what you said earlier...."

"Ivy, you messing up once isn't going to cancel everything you've done for me and everything you make me feel! I swear, O'Leary,...." Carmen sighed, collecting her words.

"Ivy, I'm not going to pretend I understand what you're going through. Trust me, I know hurt very well. It's personalized to everyone. But please, I'm begging you, talk to me! You have no idea how much I worry about you or how much I care."

Ivy didn't-she couldn't bring herself to respond. "I-I-"

"Don't you get it?" Carmen whispered with a sad smile, echoing Ivy's words from earlier. "I'm in love with you, Ives."

"You...what?"

"I'm in love with you." Carmen smiled through her tears, repeating herself and tucking a red curl behind the Bostonian's ear. "You've had me since that whole M'Lady thing back in Boston."

"Am I dreaming?" Ivy said, her eyes rounding in wonder. "Because this doesn't feel real."

Carmen reaches out, punching Ivy's cheek. "Ow! What was that for?"

"To prove you're not dreaming." Carmen smiled softly, tugging on a strand of Ivy's hair.

The thief's fingers let go of Ivy's curl and gently traced the curve of her cheek. Ivy blushed, realizinf what was happening. She let her lids relax and parted her lips, her tongue flecking over to wet them. Her mouth met Carmen's and she could've sworn.....sparks had flown. The feel of the thief's hot lips gently moving against her own was like nothing else in the world.

In that kiss was a sweetness and passion, a million loving thoughts condensed into a moment. Ivy could feel Carmen promise so many things as their mouths connected—love, happiness, and years upon years.

Tonight, she felt safe for the first time in probably forever, a promise of light appearing amidst her darkness. Just when things took a turn for the horrible, Carmen was there, as always. Saving the day.