《From the Ashes》Chapter Sixteen
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It must have been close to three in the morning before Richard had returned to his sister's house. He was plagued with thoughts of Juliana. He was still no closer to finding a way for them to be together than he was when he had left her to sleep off her wine-induced slumber.
He knew that he did not love Cecilia but she was pregnant with his child. He could not possibly run off with Juliana and leave Cecilia to care for herself. Just to look at Cecilia it was obvious she needed a man to take care of her, whereas his Juliana had always been capable of fending for herself. Her strong-willed spirit was only one of the reasons he loved her so completely.
Perhaps if he spoke with Cecilia to determine just how she felt about him. Surely the girl could not love him. She did not even know him and he knew he held no love in his heart for her. She may even be in love with someone else. If only she had someone else. No matter which way he saw this he could not picture himself managing a way out of marrying Cecilia.
Annabelle heard her brother stumble into the house, in the wee hours of the morning. Where could he have been was a question she planned to get to the bottom of as soon as he awoke. She would hold his marriage license hostage if she needed to just to make sure she would acquire the truth. When the next morning came she found no pressure was needed. Her brother was in a foul mood and all but exploded. He was bursting with barely contained rage and unfortunately, she was his target.
"Annabelle Kane! I can not believe...! I, your own brother!" Richard shouted before even greeting her with a Good Morning.
Annabelle was no stranger to Richard's temper she knew a tirade when she saw one. She held her hand up to stay the rest of his words. "Boys," she spoke to her sons, "I need you to take your toys and play in the garden. Your Uncle and I need to talk."
Both boys did not question their mother's judgment by the look on their Uncle's face they knew this was not a place they wished to be and so took their toys and quickly headed for the outdoors.
"Say what you must Richard," Annabelle said "but I will not have you berate or belittle me in front of my children. You forget this is MY home and I have the final say here."
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Annabelle's lecture did nothing to squelch the rage Richard felt. He knew he should not lose control but the hopelessness of his situation far outweighed his common sense. "You lied to me! You knew all along and you sat there, pompous as can be and lied to me! Damn it, Annabelle! I am your brother, your flesh and blood! How could you betray me?"
Annabelle had not a clue of what Richard was referring to but responded to his temper with one of her own. "Sit down and tell me what the hell it is you are talking about!" she yelled back at him.
Richard made a move towards the loveseat and then stopped. "I will not have you ordering me about. I am not one of your sons that jumps at your commands," Richard said standing behind the chair Annabelle had motioned for him to sit in.
"What has brought this on Richard?" Annabelle asked, "What have I done?"
"Juliana!" Richard said. "She is alive and you knew it."
Annabelle could not have guessed this was the information Richard had to impart to her. "How do you know?"
"Funny you should question that little sister. It turns out I received my information from the source itself."
"Juliana told you who she really is?" Annabelle questioned in quite a state of disbelief, choosing to sit down herself.
"Yes, I met her on the street near where she now lives. It seems she had neglected to tell me who she was when I was busy ordering her about when she lived under my roof. But once she practically drank herself to death she had a very interesting tale to tell. One which I believe you may already be familiar with," Richard said his words oozing with sarcasm.
"Richard, it was not until Juliana came here that I found out that you knew nothing of her, although frankly, I could not understand how you could miss the obvious resemblance. Once we knew that you were coming she asked, you not be told. She was so adamant about it that she moved from my home that very night. She said now that you had chosen your wife she wanted to give you a chance at happiness. Now I can also see why she told both Cyril and I that she was leaving for your protection and not hers. She did not trust herself to see you again and after all the trouble she took to protect you, you had to go and seek her out."
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Richard was surprised by his sister's words that Juliana was willing to give him up so easily, but what was to be expected when he had announced his wish to marry another. A woman Juliana herself saw him in bed with. Just then the exhaustion of the night's events took the wind from his sails and he could no longer argue. He instead chose to sit in his sister's pro-offered chair.
Richard slumped forward and rested his head in his hands. It suddenly felt too heavy to hold up on his own. "If she only had told me?" Richard spoke barely above a whisper. "Things could have been different." He knew for certain it that it would have been. Juliana would be the woman he'd be marrying. The woman who would have graced his bed, not Cecilia. Annabelle went to her brother and knelt before him.
"How could she? She had been a servant for our family Richard for more than ten years. A servant, Richard. Not the girl you left behind but now a grown woman who was instructed by our Mother to be your chambermaid. How was she to face you and tell you who she really was?" Annabelle asked gingerly knowing her brother was in obvious pain.
The look Richard had as he turned to Annabelle was heartbreaking. "The things I had done to her... the way I treated her...I had no idea and now it is too late," Richard said his words catching in his throat from the emotion that threatened to drown him.
"Is it too late?" Annabelle asked.
Richard shook his head in affirmation. "She is with child."
Annabelle looked surprised. "Juliana told me nothing of this."
"No, not Juliana. Cecilia is pregnant. I have no choice. I must do what is right by her. I have to marry her. Which would mean I would have to give up Juliana forever."
Annabelle hated hearing the desperation in her brother's voice and knowing she was powerless to do something about it. Juliana was right. What had she expected? This was not something that could be fixed.
Richard spent the rest of the morning in his room, trying to get the rest that escaped him. His efforts were futile as each time his eyes closed he'd see Juliana's sleeping form and his heart would plummet a little further into the abyss. When his eyes would open he found himself alone. Giving up on the idea of sleep he decided he had best pack his things for today he returns home, once he receives his license from Cyril.
His future looked bleak but he was honor-bound. He even toyed with the idea of asking Juliana to be his mistress but the very idea, although a solution, repulsed him. He always thought the idea of marriage sacred, however, he also believed he would marry for love.
Now the idea of him and Cecilia together made a farce of all his noble intentions. Still, he could no more subject Cecilia to a marriage of convenience then he could Juliana to a life of having to wait and get what little he could offer her. No, if he truly loved her he would have to be brave. He must set her free.
Cyril came home with Richard's marriage license and Richard was already packed and saying his goodbyes. He thanked Cyril for all his help and told Annabelle not to worry this was just his lot in life and he will have to play it out to the very end.
Cyril thought it was an odd comment to make but decided not to question it. His wife would fill him in once Richard left. Just as Richard was about to leave Cyril had stopped him. "Oh, Richard wait. I had almost forgotten this came for you today. I took all the letters with me this morning. I did not expect someone would try to reach you here." He handed Richard the letter.
Richard put down his luggage to open it. It must have been urgent if it were sent here. Only Albert and Mr. Dooley knew where he was headed but Richard was hard-pressed to think what would be so important that either of them would try to reach him. He got his answer as he read on. His eyes widened with horror.
"Cecilia..." the name caught in Richard's throat as he struggled with the words that needed to be spoken.
"She is dead."
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